Of the Broken Violinist

“Oh,how capricious life can be;And ironic at the same time cant you see?

Just a thought that has been sneaking around my mind for the past week.Like neon lights lining unevenly along busy city streets,blinking on and off constantly. Seemingly reminding us of its existence.Its been a while since anything had any impact on me.Not mentally anyway.But this small reminder seemed to have woken things up somehow.Just picture yourself as a part-time employee at a neighbourhood 7-11. Night shifts suck, and the only motivation for you is perhaps the extra pay you get relative to your other fellow employees,and the occasional Slip-the-bar-into-the-pocket-before-the-camera trick.Customer count is at its trough,and the “Customers Served” graph hits rock bottom every five minutes and stays that way for four hours or so.Then you start to notice things that you don’t usually notice.Like the spiderweb behind the oval mirror at the corner,or the hidden shotgun under the counter.After a while,you start to notice this regular customer that visits quietly at night.He comes strictly every night at 11pm,with black coat all over and a hat pulled down low so that only the tip of his nose and lips can be seen,and those eyes hidden beneath the shadows of the rim.He smiles,and requests for a packet of Marlboro every single night.After some time,this becomes routine.You start to expect him to visit you every night,and that routine ends as soon as he exits the automated door.Despite the everyday job of arranging the canned food,counting the change,directing customers to various aisles and the occasional armed robbery(Or seemingly armed),this man comes in and out of your life every once in a while and asks for a pack.That is the closest analogy I have concerning this thought of mine.Despite the usual hectic life in NS,this thought sneaks in and out like an alarm clock with its snooze button pressed.Basically,it comes in intervals.

SIT Test just ended.It is the short form for “Situational Test”,whereby your team is given a scenario and a task to complete within a limited amount of time.The objective of the test really is not to complete the mission,but to test your leadership skills.Anyway,the three day out field ended on Saturday and I am worn out once more.We had to rescue hostages and build structures to cross invisible rivers and bring ammo boxes across raging streams and cross imaginary quicksand pits.Yes Samuel,sounds like a video game doesn’t it?However,I can assure you that the actual test itself is a lot less interesting than the games you play at home especially when it involves you running around under baking hot sun and Mimosa scratches all over your palm.No Samuel,this is the real deal.It was tough,but nonetheless it was not enough to prevent that thought from coming through at night.After a day’s exercise,I would sit in front of my tent(Or Barsha in technical terms)and stare up into the sky.The constellations lined up across the sky,with the Orion belt peeping through the canopy,beaming proudly in the softly lid skyline.That was when the thought quietly strayed into my mind,followed by a soft chuckle from me and a sigh…

As usual,my mom and I always have conversations with each other as she drives me to the bus terminal before every book in.Last week was of no difference,and I was telling her about a unit in SAF called MDC.I am not too sure what it stands for,but basically people go in there to play music and get involved in drama productions and such.Not too closely linked to combat and stuff,but im sure soldiers need entertainment as well?As I expressed my interest of joining the unit my mother revealed to me that her old violin teacher used to be in MDC as well.That was when old memories started popping up of him.You know how a name can stir up quite a bit of emotions and memories at times.Its not that I have known him for very long or anything,but he was the source or the beginning of my interest for music.

Initially,it was my mother who was interested in classical music.And violin was of particular interest to her.So she found this violin teacher and had lessons at his place.This violin teacher is not just the guy next door who knows how to play a piece or two.He was from the Singapore Symphony Orchestra,and that’s saying a lot.A very talented guy who played wonderful violin.I tagged along with my mother everytime,since she wasn’t too comfortable with the idea of me being alone at home by myself.Point to note,I was in Primary school.Anyway,I would sit on his couch and play GameBoy while I wait for my mother to end her lessons.Of course,his pug was real cute as well.The notes flowed out of the room like waves and that was really my first taste of classical music.You remember how your parents used to force you to learn some skills in life that might not be of any interest to you?From ballet to painting classes,and from piano lessons to Taekwondo trainings downstairs at the basketball court with other fellow little fighters.Basically,we have all been through that stage in life,and myself included.Mom bought me a cheap violin and I was under the same teacher for a while.You can say that I was a genius when it came to being a music retard back then.But I was in primary school,so Ive got nothing to complain about.This teacher was real patient with me,and he made violin lessons more than just simple music lessons for me.Gradually I grew interest in music and continued playing violin for a while.Then the problem arrives.There’s a thing called the shoulder guard that is secured under the violin so that when you put it between your cheek bone and collar bone it wont hurt very much.My violin on the other hand was way too small for any shoulder guard in the market to fit.So after a few months of violin I had bruises on my left cheek and collar bone.Eventually,the pain took over the passion and I bailed out.I wanted to carry on,but I guess I didn’t understand the sacrifices I had to take in order to master or at least learn a skill such as this.Oh well,so since then ive forgotten about violin as well as the violinist who briefly gave me a head start to my musical love.

As time wore on he slowly diminished.You know how humans usually remember the “Firsts”?Im not too sure why this “First” did not stick with me as closely as it should be.This part of memory just faded for a long period of time,even after I picked up my next and most beloved instrument:Guitar. I totally forgot my roots,and where it plotted its way from.Like my beloved JC Principal(Cant believe I just typed that)Mrs Ho Woon Ho always emphazied,we must always remember the source of the water when we drink it.Well,very true.But not in this case for me apparently.

If you have watched(Or read the book by Jeremy Deaver)”The Bone Collector” starring Angelina Jolie and Denzel Washington,Denzel’s character was Lincoln Rhymes,and he was known to be one of the best forensic scientist in the business.Unfortunately,his career ended when he met up with an accident during one of his investigations,causing him to be paralyzed from neck down.Jokingly,life left him his left index finger still operational alongside everything above his neck.The situation that my old violin teacher is in now is somewhat similar to Lincoln’s fate.Both men talented and born with a gift,then later taken away by life itself.As if both of them made a mistake in their lives,and were asked to compensate by taking the gift away.He wanted to show off his other skills to his girlfriend once at a pool.Of course,no matter how talented you are with the violin everybody will get sick after you play it for a while.So he wanted to show her how well he can dive as well.So he made a leap off the ramp and dived downwards into the pool.But the spin turned bad,and his head hit the platform on his way down,causing him to be paralyzed from the neck down.Rings a bell,doesn’t it.But no,he was not left with a left index finger,or a pinky,let alone a thumb.Just simply paralyzed.

So in a split second,the violin in his room became a waste.He couldn’t play his violin anymore and spends his days looking up at the ceiling wondering what he’s going to do next when the options are very little anyway.His friends visited him,and organized fund raising concerts with the Singapore Symphony Orchestra.But logically speaking,the funds are not going to last too long for this man.At least not long enough to mend the broken violinist.My mom said,that when his friends visited him,they saw him with tears in his eyes every single time.Can you imagine the pain in him?The anguish and agony all at once?Once so proud,and now suffering under a fate that was not meant to be?It all seems like a practical joke to me.The life of us seems like the playground of an unseen force.And every unfortunate event that happens are the fruit of an evil plot of life itself.It’s things like that that makes you go, “Wow,things like that are actually happening around me.” You never really expect such things to happen around you really.I mean,it is not unnatural to read about such tragic incidents in papers or TV,but they just fade away as the media move on to more juicy gossips or scandals.But when such things happen around you,you suddenly feel vulnerable to the unpredictability of life.You start to feel scared that the next plot has your name on the top of the priority list.The impact it has,and the crater it creates are just deeper and bigger when its closer.

So you see,this thought lingered in my head throughout the week.I threw a grenade this week.A real one.That was interesting enough to keep my mind off things for a while.Not to mention the C4 that blew the blinds as well as the nerves out of the recruits nearby.But once the dust settled and the noise reduced,it hops back up again into my mind.

Just a thought I guess,something that happened to me this week.Or rather to someone close to me that has affected me one way or another.I don’t want to go on and on about my everyday routine life in NS.It’s just too boring.I guess it is only fitting to type something a little different this time round.Oh well,it is tragic indeed.But what can we do really?Like I said,our lives are the playground of life itself.It plots its way through the events and puts a rock at our feet so that we can trip and fall.If you are not careful,you don’t get up anymore.It’s just not fair for such a gifted person to be deprived of his talents.The most tragical thing here is the fact that this broken violinist cannot even pretend to play the violin anymore.It’s just the sound ringing in his head,and the dust gathered violin in the corner.Just him,and the broken him alone.

Cest La Vie…

Song of the Moment--- Crazy by Aerosmith