Of 1983(1986)
Different people blog for different reasons.Some blog just to show off their language skills,some blog to tell people about their daily lives,while others blog for the kick of it.For me,i like to blog because it acts as a gateway for me to vent my anger,stress,depression,etc.The more i type,i better i feel sometimes.Its kinda weird really,for myself to be talking to the blog sometimes.Its like a one way conversation,and never getting a reply.I guess,thats why we all need people to listen to us sometimes.

Anyway,for people like me who suffers from short term memory loss,i cant help but to record things down somewhere.In this case,my blog.Its pretty hard for me remember things nowadays,in fact since the beginning.So the blog acts like a caveman's wall,where the happenings in the world around the caveman were painted upon walls.Then you start to wonder why humans like myself record the depressing things down as well.There are so many happier things in life,but it is always the depressing things that make blogs a little more interesting.Oh well,in this entry i am going to post what happened yesterday and today.So here we go.

15th November 2004
As usual,Krishna asked me to study in NYJC again yesterday.Maths paper 2 was coming up,and i knew shit about it really.To tell you the truth,even though i am a freethinker,i prayed before i went to sleep.Yeah,thats how scared i was before i fell asleep yesterday.I was petrified under the sheets.Ahmad joined us a while later,and because the backgates were locked,he had to take the long way round pass the monsoon drains to the front gate.Anyway,we sat down at the tables outside LT4,and was just about to start doing the NJC paper when we realised that the photocopying machines at the canteen were not working.The other machines are on the second level,and the only way up was blocked by a metal gate firmly locked.The only alternative was to climb over the railing at the side of the staircases and onto the railing of the corridor.It seems easier in words,but its tougher in real life.The railings were thin,at least not enough for your feet.A miscalculation would send you tumbling off the edge of the stairs and onto the ground below.Samuel and Ahmad found a thin wooden plank,which acted as a bridge between the stair and the corridors.I guess Ahmad was inspired by Krishna's friend after seeing him climbing from ledge to ledge at CJC.He wanted to be Spiderman of NYJC i guess,and he volunteered to climb over.It was scary indeed,and it was really high up and dangerous.I warned him about SherYing and all his other female eye candies,but his desire to be labelled as Spiderman was great.

So the incredible Ahmad took off his sandals,and climbed over the railing while i filmed the process with Krishna's camera.The rest helped him over of course,but we cheered as he landed on the corridor,alive.A few moments later,we were back on the staircase,filming Ahmad climbing back onto the staircase while i continued filming.It was great to see him on solid ground again,really.

So the day wore on with the heat building up.Despite of the brief rain that occured int he late afternoon the temperature was too high for anybody to tolerate.Krishna and Guan Ming couldnt,and stripped half naked.Of course,nobody were in school so they were willing to show off a little bit.And as for me,i tried to distract myself by burning up my battery in the Ipod.I took a stroll around the running track as well after the rain.The ground was soft and wet,and walking alone on the tracks was a great feeling of solitude.For some reason,it seemed as if it was dawn again.Its one of those times,when the line between dawn and dusk is blurred,and you couldnt figure out whether the day just started or if it is on the way to darkness.Anyhow,we got hungry,and the lot of us ordered Pizza to the school.Samuel(Surprisingly)was kinda enough to offer twenty dollars for the Pizza.We ended up paying merely five dollars each,since the Pizzas,Garlic bread and chicken wings only summed up to 35 dollars.Haha.Thanks Sam.While we waited for the delivery man,we played "Bullshit".Or "Bluff" with the poker cards Krishna always has in his bag.It was a whole lot of fun,and we all took turns to be crowned as the BullShit Kings and Queens.Samuel ended up as the BullShit Princess,but he seemed satisfied.Haha.It was a great way to end the day,the day before the dooms day.A day of petrification lies ahead yet again.What a crock of bullshit indeed.

16th November 2004
I studied into the wee hours yesterday.I know i promised myself to sleep early before every paper,but i couldnt help it.I was just too scared.A new friend of mine Li Xue was kind enough to send over the solutions for Maths Paper 2 2003,and upon seeing the answer keys i was on the verge of suicide.I hate to feel stupid all the bloody time.Oh well,i guess perhaps im not too stupid.People around me are just too damn clever.And Samuel said that if you have a mole on your back,it represents "Luck" or something.Well,i hope you were right Samuel.I need a lot of that.With a quick glance at the notes i was off to school to meet my fate.Everybody was anxious,but Rachel was particularly troubled.Not because of the exam,but about whether she can bring her SpongeBob keychain into the hall.Well,that's a given isnt it?Anyway,so i sat myself down on the table and started the paper at 8am sharp.

The paper sucked so much butt.I hated the paper.My aim was not the pass really,though i constantly stressed in my prayer that a "D" for myself is good enough.However,i just tried to write something for everything.A motto i always tell myself in every exam.It's good enough for me,if i see something for everything.And i tell that,save for question 27.But who cares.I hate Maths.Cant believe i used to love it so much.I guess i have to give it to mom,who made Maths such an interesting subject back in the Primary School days.I was sitting at my place,wishing that im back in the Primary School days,solving problems like "David gives 3 apples to John.How many apples does John have now?".Yeah,go fish.I was staring at odd statistical questions with emptiness in my head.Anyway,so i started thinking about going overseas again.The possibility of me failing the exam,and what i am supposed to do if i do fail it.Like Dellia said,life does not revolve around some stupid grades.But too bad so many people in our society put great emphasis on mere grades.So many things are dependent on it for some,and people are so superficial nowadays it makes me sick.Oh well,seeing the construction workers as i walked home this morning made me wonder if i can make a career out of carrying bricks and operating huge monster trucks and cranes.Well,maybe not.I'd rather stick to my interests and writings.

Anyway,i wonder why i record such entries in blogs.I mean,if i want to remember the nice memories,wouldnt i record the "Goods" instead of the "Bads"?They say that it is stuff like that that acts as a reminder.Mistakes of the past.Oh well,i'd rather not have my reminder hitting me in the forehead in forms of red inks on result slips.Oh well,i hate exams.I hate Maths.I just hate everything about today.Right now,i have a bloody adware lurking around in my computer which i cannot seem to get rid of.Life is such a bitch,and all the bitching must happen in one bloody day.Great.Its raining now.I shall head for bed.Before that,here's a part of the lyrics from John Mayer's "83".Describes my feelings now perfectly(Though 83 should be changed to 86 due to my age.But whatever).

I've these dreams I'm
Walking home.
Home when it used to be.
And everything is
As it was,
Frozen in front of me.

And these days,
I wish I was 6 again.
Oh make me a red cape.
I wanna be Superman.

Oh,if only my life was more like 1983.
All these things would be more like they were at the start of me.
If my life was more like 1983.
I'd plot a course to the source of the purest little part of me.