Of the Phases
Life is divided into so many phases.One part of the journey ends,another begins.That seems to be the way our lives nowadays.Of course,the big picture can be divided into "Infancy","Teens",Mature" and "Aging".At least thats how i see it.Of course,the first stage already ended for me a long time ago.I dont remember when was the last time i pee my pants,sucked on my thumbs or cried when i was hungry.Oh well,i guess the "Teens" stage is coming to an end as well.Tomorrow marks the end of the JC life in NYJC,though not necessarily JC Life.To me,JC Life ends after the As.Education ends after the university,which seems to be miles away from me now.

Great.

All i want is to have this Education life over and done with.This dreadful phase of waste.Well,things that i would miss?A few,here and there i guess.The guitar club,the performances and perhaps those long hours after school with my friends studying.Oh,and the instant noodles beside the fountain.That was great Ahmad.Haha.But other than that,i dont see anything else worth grieving over.Some might say,perhaps two years is too short a time for any form of relationship to grow between people and the environment.But i have way stronger feelings for SR after three months there.In fact,less than that.It depends on people i guess.I bet there are NY fanatics out there,crying and sobbing for the pure fact that they are leaving school.If i dont have the As i would organise a party.Beers on me.Really,the departure from that place is seriously a benchmark of happiness.For me.

Of course,i cannot deny that fact that i had good times in this place.Its hard to say,"I have nothing to lose." really.Its weird to leave a place where you have "dwelled" for the past two years.Ive experienced it twice already.Once in Primary School,and once in Secondary School(I dont consider leaving Kindergarten as a phase really.It was as insignificant as that).I dont even remember what happened on the last day of Primary School.Maybe i didnt even know that school ended and that the next phase of life is about to begin.I was too carefree back then,living in a world of my own confined to my limitless imaginations.The last day of Secondary School was grand,with a twist of sorrow i guess.I mean,we had a graduation ceremony nonetheless.The talks by the principal,the talks by students and guest of honor.You know,the usual.The class sat in a row,and i remembered passing this booklet around for people to sign.Haha.A friend of mine tore off the sticker that had the sponsor's logo from the back of the chair and stuck it in my book.I think it was Cliburn(Damn you.Haha).I even let Jared(Kong)sign my book.Haha.Well,he's a piece of my memory that i'll never forget.Unwillingly as it may be.Sad thing was,after the ceremony everybody left home without pictures being taken whatsoever.Barney,Joseph,JianXian and I did though,and the porch.But that was four person our of nearly 30 people?It was sad to see how other classes went back to their classrooms and had a blast inside,while you sat alone with a small group of friends,wondering what to do next.After all,that's not "Goodbye" is it?

Like i said,despite having very little fond memories of this place,im still going to miss the people that contributed to that little happiness that i might gained throughout my journey.Especially the friendships that blossomed through out the days and weeks.Like Dudley said on his blog,friendship knows no boundaries.But then again,when the time comes for us to leave,the boundary is always so visible.You just turn your head to deny it,but its always there.At least thats how i see it.

The saddest thing is perhaps the fact that i dont even want to attend this Graduation Ceremony tomorrow.Isnt it important?I mean,it is after all the end of something,and the beginning of another.Oh well,i just dont want to recieving my CCA records and my Prelim results.They can keep it for all i care.I dont want such a thing in my house to remind me of my stupidity.I have enough Maths and Economics notes to do that.I dont know how it is going to turn out tomorrow really.Its not the end really.There's still the prom,and there will be more pictures being taken then.My mother always thinks that it is odd to have a graduation before a major exam.Its just weird i guess?Oh well,phase 3 of my "Educational Life" is about to come to an end.And i dont intend to recieve it with my arms outstretched.Because i know what comes after,is gonna be so heavy a burden for me to carry,that even if i have my arms opened its going to smack me right in the fact and knock me out.

Why cant we just do what we like on the last day.Throw a party,get high,get drunk and have some fun.Or just do what the lyrics of "Just Another Phase" by The Moffatts is about.Just lay back and do nothing.When was the last time i ever did that?My thoughts have been filled with so many things,even when im sleeping.Its an awful way to end a phase really.I hate the way things are going round now.I guess that devil inside me is laughing,asking me that question that i regret to answer.

How do you like them apples?

Great.Very great.

Sit around and watch TV.
God i hate what i see.
Lock me up and throw away the key.
I'll spend my time chugging tea...

Throw my change down a machine.
Buy a chocolate bar so i can dream.
Another day goes down the drain.
Wash away,
Yeah,wash away the pain...

Well it's just another phase that i'll go through.
This time i'm sure i'll lose you.
Place my bets on all the jacks and queens.
The probability being that it seems.
I'm blind, i'm blind...