Of Trick or Tricked
Happy Halloween everybody.Its weird to be wishing everyone a Happy Halloween when this day is not very much celebrated and known in Singapore.Not a lot of people knows that its actually on the 31st of October.Oh,and its Peter Jackson's birthday as well.So happy birthday big man.Like i said,its weird to celebrate a day without the rest of Singapore knowing the existence of this day in the first place.Its like celebrating St Patrick's Day in Singapore.I dont think that makes much sense.

As per normal,this year we had a Halloween party in school.Well,"Party" really is an awful word to describe this celebration.Of course,there's no harm in celebrating a fun occasion.Halloween is when people(Especially the kids)dress up in monster costumes and goes around the neighbourhood to collect candies.If the neighbour does not comply to the kids' wishes,he or she would be in for a real treat.Which is how the phrase "Trick or Treat" came about.Oh,and the so called "Custom" during Halloween.A water tank would be filled with water,and above the water floats loads of apples.Kids will try to sink their teeth into the apple without using anything but their mouths.Well,there was an urban legend a while back that somebody buried a razoe blade in the apples.Anyway,that "custom" was not practised here in NanYang JC today.In fact,the organising committee decided to turn it into something a little more fancy,or perhaps cheesy?Well,they tried.

The usual Halloween transformed into a semi-clubbing experience,with loud music and dance floors.Oh,and also a haunted house and some band performances.Instead of candies,they had cold soggy french fries and food which looked awfully bad(Which explained the leftovers).Ben Tan,Krishna,Samuel and myself arrived in school as usual to do some papers and practises.They reached a little earlier than myself,since i talked on the phone with Dellia till almost 5am yesterday morning.Oh well,that was well worth it i guess.She's fun to talk to definitely.Though she kept apologising for keeping me up,i felt bad that i was pouring her with cold jokes in the middle of the night.But anyway,i woke up a little later and reached school at 1pm.Apparently,Krishna and gang only reached at 11am,and they hadnt finished their Chemistry Paper 3 practise yet.Oh well,so i waited.While waiting Ahmad arrived to study as well.We did a little bit of study,and went upstairs to check out the commotion.Apparently,there's supposed to be a Halloween party that we almost forgot.The crew were settling up their equipment,and the councel people were shouting their heads off without apparent reasons.Fine,they were playing some game.But i really didnt understand why they did it anyway.There was a band there practising,and i noticed this girl from Guitar Club.Her name is Melissa,and she's pretty short and petite.The Fender guitar(Yes,Fender)looked awfully big when hung over her shoulders.But anyway,they practised their pieces a little bit and i thought there were gonna do fine.Well,that's of course,in the absence of the lead singer.The drummer was pretty decent i guess,and Melissa was good on guitar.Nobody sang yet,so i thought i was in for a treat.

We did the RJC Prelim paper,and i must say that it was managable.Yes,RJC paper being managable is a bloody big deal for me.Oh well,i didnt do all that well anyway.55 marks,but i guess that's pretty good compared to Krishna.I guess he's the type who needs an air tight environment with no sound whatsoever to do well.Samuel on the other hand,scored an A.An A.But then again,we marked ourselves.You never know what the Cambridge people are capable of.Anyway,after we did the papers it was already 630pm.The show starts at 7,and the lot of us went down to check out the band.They had their makeup done,and it reminded me of KISS.Well,without the white makeup and the chest hair revealing costumes(Which is really disgusting).Melissa was in a white blouse and a short skirt,while the rest of the gang wore casual.That same guy who gave the irritating speech was in the band,and i didnt notice that earlier in the afternoon.Yes,that same guy who dissed the J2s on our graduation.Well,he doesnt talk very well.Perhaps he sings well?Haha.Was i wrong or what?

They started with "That Thing you Do",a very common song for bands to play in schools.I hear it all the time.If im not wrong somebody played that during Woodstock?Im not too sure.But anyway,MeiJian made a cameo in her Cleopatra costume.That was hot girl.Haha.With that eyeliner stretching over the edge of your eyes made you look real wicked.But for some reason the amplifiers were crazy,and the sound of the bass was awfully loud and earpiercing.Ahmad was using his bag straps to cover his ears(There's something called the fingers Ahmad).The drummer was cool,at least i dont hear any thing being messed up.But then again,what do i know?I dont play percussion.The bassist who was using an ordinary guitar as a bass was alright.It was the amplifiers that made his plucking irritating.Melissa was cool,doing her thing.Now comes the lead.I think his name is Edmund.But im not too sure.He was enjoying himself there obviously,shaking his head once in a while and stamping his feet.With an audience as little as that i wonder how the rest of the band felt.I know how it feels i guess,to have so little audience.Despite that fact,he happily sang his song without actually following the beats.Im telling you,the number of people who attended was really pretty bad.WeiJie,Ahmad and I were on the wooden bridge right in front of where they were playing,and we became the backup vocals for the band.The "Bassist's" voice was SO low man.The songs he was supposed to lead sank to rock bottom in terms of the key.Couldnt make out his words,and we had to sing it for him."Flavour of the Week" was practically sang by WeiJie,Ahmad and myself.As Edmund continued on his horrible spree of killer music with "Here Without You",Krishna got pissed off because that's one of his all time favourite songs.Melissa on the other hand who was playing the guitar was spotted by myself to be rolling her eyes at the singing.Ahmad and I wanted to take over the performance,and were really tempted.But oh well,its not very nice is it?

The performances wore on,and the crowd did not significantly increase.But the three of us were really high and sang backup for every single song.The band were actually smiling at us because we kinda warmed the place up.With WeiJie,Ahmad and I together you dont expect a place to be as cold as that!Anyway,the performance ended and we went ahead to congratulate Melissa and her band(Though i dont think she is the leader,she couldve been one.She was good enough).I didnt say much,since i had my eyes on her Fender guitar.Holy mama.Haha.Ahmad and I kept playing scissors paper stone to see who gets Krishna's handphone for some phototaking of Melissa.Because there werent a crowd,a guy standing in front of the band taking photo will be really obvious and really awkward.Ahmad lost the first time,and he went up to take her picture.Me on the other hand,did not actually chicken out when i lost the second round.Fine,i really didnt want to take her picture or whatever.I was almost there when she turned around to talk to the lead.

For some reason,they were playing Looney Tunes in the canteen while dinner was served.The gothic maids at the counter looked threatening yet weird at the same time.There was this girl in white,who came to Ahmad to ask what he wanted for dinner.I think she was the "Waitress",and she was really nice.Oh well,at least that was my impression of her.Haha.She was dressed as an Angel i think,but i dont see no wings though.She came up to us to ask if we wanted free food as well,because there were a lot of leftovers.Haha.I think she was really nice,unlike the gothic witch who sat at the counter and munched on her dinner.

The dance at the hall was pretty pathetic.I mean,body is there in the first place.Yeah,the clubbers in school perhaps.A couple of dancers came as well,im guessing that they are friends of people from our school.Anyway,they danced to the song and i thought they were awesome.And as for the others who tried to turn the hall into a club failed i guess.I mean,they were pretty high of course.Ahmad in particular,was drooling over certain individual.Haha.Dont blame yourself Ahmad,you are a red blooded male as well.And i do understand why you were drooling,i was on the verge of spilling blood as well.Anyway,not being a big fan of hip hop music i left the place earlier.The haunted house was excited at first thought,but i was turned off after i saw the line.It was really long,and gave up after queueing for two minutes or so.

The way home was quiet i guess.The streets are awfully quiet,for a 9pm night.The silence between tracks on my discman was for once not interrupted by cars zooming by or construction workers' voices.It was just,silence.The cat scrambled across my path as i strolled home alone on the field.Well,it wasnt black.No worries.

Well,trick or treat.I felt tricked somehow.Haha.Well,perhaps not as bad.I mean,a part is supposed to be a party isnt it.The attempt to make it happening was bad,especially when only about 40 to 50 arrived.WoodStock rocked so much more in my opinion.Like WeiJie said,the publicity wasnt that good.Anyway,its "Trick or Tricked" for me today.This Halloween night in school was spent amongst loud music and bad singing,though i do sympathize the organisers and Melissa the guitarist.

Song of the Moment---The Way You Look Tonight by Rod Stewart

Song of the Day:
The Space Between by Dave Matthews Band



You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted game we play

We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
Will I hold ...



Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down

The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get tickled
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...

Of the World of the 19th Floor
A few entries ago i mentioned about things that i loved to do back when i was in Secondary School,or when i was a kid.Well,i almost forgot my most ancient love.And that is,to sit on my balcony at night.The wee hours of the night as ive mentioned,are the times when solitude is at its best.When lonliness seems like a blessing somehow.I guess,its the times spent alone on nights like that on the balcony that i appreciate the most.

The weather's different nowadays,with the mornings usually occupied with temporary showers and thunders here and there.Wet mornings,dont you just love those?The nights are particularly cold nowadays.Kind of reminded me of the smell of the air when i opened my aunt's room window in Taiwan,smelling the cold winter air.It felt exactly the same i guess,perhaps a little warmer.The night skies are lit by the streetlights from below,and the clouds above can be seen floating about.Sometimes,in big bulks like cotton candies.Sometimes thin and long,as if being stretched by the arms of the wind.On the 19th floor,it is so different from the floors below.As if im in a different dimension already,the world from the view there is just totally different.The sound of cars seem to be a whole lot softer,and much further away in the distance.To be away from the world below seems to be a detachment from the world.From reality.It seems like a totally different world up there,with you being a tad bit closer to the sky and stars.

I got bored yesterday,and thought of going to the balcony again.It rained in the early evening,so the tiles were a little moist and wet.The wind was chilly,with a salty smell still lingering in the air.It was 2am,and most of the neighbours were asleep,save for some nightcrawlers staying up late to watch midnight television.Armed with my Geography notes,my handphone and a sweater,and went to the wooden benches i had on the balcony and sat down on the cushions.Staring into the distance was a great feeling,with the million city lights down below.I felt like i was on a throne,with the world silence before me and for me.Well,in a night like this its hard to resist the temptation of being king for a few seconds or so.A lizard or some sort made a funny sound in the bushes to my left,while the trash bag fluttered in the soft night breeze.I studied for a long time there,forgetting the comfort of my bed.The wind was blowing,and the air was quiet.I took a short break after a while,just staring up into the sky.It was blank,like an abyss falling upwards.The moon was hanging low,a crescent no longer.It was bright,and the moon poured through the windows of my room,which made it glow in a creepy yet beautiful sort of way.

Dellia perhaps described my balcony best,with it being like a Secret Garden.Well,its not exactly a secret garden.It does have a lot of plans and wildlife(The lizards,and sometimes this bird which comes for honey),but its a pretty well known secret i'd say.My parents would sit at the chairs there for coffee in the mornings sometimes,and im a pretty frequent occupant of those seats as well.My sister,being overly fascinated by boybands,never engaged in anything that is remotely fulfilling when it comes to spiritual well being.Perhaps,the world from the 19th floor has a power to enchant or to heal in some ways unknown to myself.It resembles a shrine in a way,where monks pray.I dont pray i guess,or talk to god on my balcony.I simply stare into the distance,wondering what's beyond the building covered horizon.

If i have the chance,i might move to my balcony for a night or two.I remember sleeping on the bench on one rainy afternoon with my blanket and pillow when it was raining out for a week or two.That was perhaps the longest rainy season i have experienced in my 18 years of life.It rained for a long time,and i slept on the balcony with tiny bits of rain falling on my head.To me,nobody ever intrudes my peace.At midnight,on my balcony,i am king.No yelling sister,no naggy parents,no homeworks,just me against the whole wide world.Perhaps you are right Dellia,it is my secret garden.It might not be that secret at all,but it sure has the same enchanting feeling.That magical feel to it all.I guess,my balcony at midnight is a little over rated.I guess my descriptive skills are going way over the top in this entry.Oh well,i just love my balcony.So sue me.

The world on the 19th floor at midnight is so different from anywhere else.To see a little further,a little higher,a lot bigger.

Song of the Moment---Two Steps by Dave Matthews Band

Of the Two Week Calendar
From the end of the As to the beginning of my NS life is about 16 days.That's a little more than two weeks of freedom.True freedom.I guess,the lesser the time the more i'll treasure it.I dont know.Its odd that humans would only treasure something when you lose it,or about to lose it.Well,im human.And im not spared.So i was planning this "Two Weeks of Freedom" with my mother this afternoon,and i guess we came up with something solid.

25th November to 1st December(Morning)
I will be leaving for Taiwan on the 25th,taking the noon flight as usual from Singapore.Well,this time its a little different.My sister has classes till the 27th,and mom might stay here for a while.Which means,i get to take the plane alone.How bloody cool is that?I mean,ive always wanted to do it on my own,and not with my parents or sister.Well,once in a while i get to sit away from them.Its not like they are plagued with some deadly disease,or i am allergic to them or whatever.Its just that,perhaps i enjoy doing things on my own.That's part of growing up isnt it?Anyway,so i might go back to Taiwan alone,and i might come back alone as well.From the 25th to the 1st its a shopping spree and an eating fiesta.Aunt drew out a map all over Taipei of where all the good foods are located,and i will definitely pay them a visit.Of course,then comes the usual meeting with the relatives,maybe i will get to meet my childhood friends for the last time.Regarding the shopping spree,Dad wants to buy this expensive suit for me for the prom night.Oh well,since he's good at choosing suit i'll just leave this to him.I showed him the suit Collin Farrel wore in "Phone Booth",and he said that he knows where to find something like that.Wicked.

1st of December to 2nd December
I'll be taking the 7am flight back to Singapore.Unlike before,i'll definitely be taking the flight back myself.How cool is that?Well,there's supposed to be a guitar chalet on this day.So i'll take a cab back from the airport,put my stuff at home and take a cab to the chalet(Wherever it is).I must get together with them again.Haha.Ahmad,please remember to bring guitar.Its not a guitar outing without guitars.

2nd December to 5th December
Mom suggested that i go on my backpacking trip here.But,isnt it a little rushed?Plus i think Krishna has his prom on the second.Not going to work.Whatever it is,im saving this few days for now.Hunt around for good saloons for a haircut?I guess its time for a change.Oh,and plan with somebody to book a hotel room to stayover night.I know my class people are unwilling,so i guess im gonna have to book with somebody else.

6th December
Prom night.I guess the whole day will be booked because of this.I'll head to the hotel first,suited up and head to the venue at night.I dont know.Plans are raw and fresh now,things might be altered and changed.

7th December
Sleep my head off.Im sure i'll be dead tired to do anything on this day.The day right after Prom.Hell,i might not even come home.Fall asleep on the streets after a night of heavy drinking perhaps,if i drink at all.

8th to 9th December.I think i have to prepare for NS here.I got a list of things i need to get or buy for the NS.Well,a lot of things if you ask me.But im just going to pick the essentials.Its not like i wont be able to come back to buy more.Haha.Well,im not sure if two days is enough,but i will leave it as that.

There,my two weeks of freedom is marked.Kinda short,but what the hell can i do.Like i said,no time for writing my scripts,my books,my songs whatsoever.Basically,what i have in my computer now of my script will remain as that until god knows when.That is perhaps my biggest concern about NS.Being a different me when i come out of it.Well,i dont know.Like i told Kareen yesterday,its a 50/50 situation.Either i remain the same,or i change.Its that simple.Right now,its the As.The As.The As.Dry,isnt it.Boring,yet we all must go through it.Great.

Song of the Moment---Blue by Chantal Kreviazuk

Of the Secret Flying Machine
I wrote a song again.An idea just struck.But this time i wanted to try out a happy song.I mean,the past few works have been pretty sad.Well,it was.I tried out the song and it sounded way TOO happy.So i lowered the capo from the second to the first fret and did the song.Well,the lyrics are still pretty joyful and cheerful,but with the lowered key it sounds a little melancholic?I dont know.Haha.This is basically an experimental piece,so its a little different from what i usually write.

Secret Machine
Written by Weilien

I wanna go down with you
Down into the summer blues
The sun,the sand,the sea,let's go.
Or maybe to the downtown show.

Running through plains of grass.
The sky,the clouds,a see through glass.
You,and me,and us,and now.
Nowhere to be found.

Where we go on a trip
Upon my secret flying machine.
Up Up it goes into the stars
Back into the galaxies.
Just snap your fingers.
And we'll both be unseen.

March,April,June or Decem.
You make the call and we will descend
Slip back into 65
Take a shortcut,take the ride.

Away into my secret garden.
The key,unlock,away with the burden.
Carve your thoughts down on the trees
Close your eyes and count to three.

Where we go on a trip
Upon my secret flying machine.
Up Up it goes into the stars
Back into the galaxies.
Just snap your fingers.
And we'll both be unseen.

Doctor Doctor
Please build me
This flying
Machine
To make my dreams come true
To make your wallet full
And maybe
You can soar into the sky with us

Where we go on a trip
Upon my secret flying machine.
Up Up it goes into the stars
Back into the galaxies.

Soar into a different dimension
A different world,a huge diversion
The air we breathe might be so sweet
Dance on to the fabulous beat

Strap yourself in and ready to go
Where to is up to you,so
Just snap your fingers
And we'll both be unseen.

Upon my secret flying machine.

Of Fitting Songs
Different people have different feelings or thoughts going through their heads while listening to a song.The tune for the shallower people,the lyrics for the people who appreciate music a little more,and perhaps the song on the whole for some.For me,im not sure how to categorize myself.Whether to say im the shallow type or the profound type.Krishna and i probably belongs to the same type.After all,both of us are movie buffs.Or more commonly known as "MovieFreaks".Both of us write scripts once in a while,and storylines or scenes just flash pass our minds once in a while.The good ones stay,the bad ones go.Im not sure about Krishna,but i usually let the dirty ones slip my mind as well.Anyway,there are a couple of songs that are so fitting for a couple of scenes i have in mind.Some of them are just random scenes,but i'd like you guys to download the song(Dont worry,the government's not going to enforce the new law until 5th of January 2005)and simply imagine the scenario.It's pretty fun.Here we go.

Blue by Chantal Kreviazuk
As i am a student,most of these imagations are in a student's point of view and context.

A girl walks down the grandstand with the rain slowly pouring down over the tracks.The grey viel hangs over the lonely field,and the girl slowly walks down the steps and onto the edge of the tracks.All is silent,save for the sound of rain splattering on the tracks.She slowly walks onto the tracks,and the uniform begins to soak under the pouring rain,drop by drop.She took no heed of the cold wind that's brushing across the field,and with short quick paces she started walking in the rain.Faster,and faster,and faster.
The song starts to play.
She cries,and she wipes them off her face.
They say we're in a state of emergency.
But she no longer knew whether those were tears or rainwater.
So how come no one is panicking?
She started running now,and the rain hit her harder and harder now.
Where were you when they wrote the news?
And how are you, are you feeling blue?
Running into the cold embrace of the rain...
And how are you, are you feeling blue
She stops...And the screen fades to black...
Well, the paper doesn't cause too much of a fuss
Perhaps it's because it's not, it's not sad enough?
Where were you when they wrote the news?
And how are you, are you feeling blue?
You've never seen the colour blue?

In My Place by Cold Play

A guy holds a picture of a girl in his hand.The sun is setting,but not his desire for her.Perhaps too strong to deny,and it ran too deep to remove or to refuse.A bottle of wine in his left hand and the picture in his right,he breathes in the last bit of cigarette and tosses it over the cliff before him.Then it occured to him,and wiped off those tears from his eyes.He stood up,and looked down over the edge of the cliff and smiled.
The song begins,and the drums start to play.
He lets go of the picture,and the wind brings up high up into the sky.
The guitar starts to play.
The guy smiles,and walks back to his car.Closes the door behind him and plucks in the keys
The guitar continues repeatedly.
The car reverses back onto the dirt road behind.
Singing please, please, please
Come back and sing to me
To me, me.
The car drives away down a long stretch of road and disappears in the horizon.
Come on and sing it out, now, now
Come on and sing it out, to me, me
Come back and sing
Then you see a bundle of pictures and letters,all with the girl's name on it.He let go,he was lost and finally made up his mind
In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
And I was lost, oh yeah, oh yeah
Screen fades to black.

Haha.Sorry for the crap.But its just some of the stuff i came up.Well,Crappio-Fiesta is over.Now back to your work.Night.

Of the Unsettling Places
A couple of days ago after one of my study sessions with my Secondary School gang in school,we head on to McDonald's for a quick dinner,which was a mere 10 minutes walk away from school.We had loads of fun there,making fun of Samuel's appetite as well as his losing spree over TaiDee.All and all,it was a great way to end a day.Especially if the fullstop came in the form of a Sundae.I didnt really want to hold my sweater home,and it was close to 9pm at that time.So i wore it,and strolled home with my headphones plucked in my ears.So on the way home,i came up with this entry about unsettling places.

To get home from Serangoon Central to my home without the keys to the backdoor meant that you got to take the walk along the Monsoon drain,which is now overtaken by contruction of the new MRT line due in 2008.Anyway,strolling along that road is fine i guess.Its actually pretty quiet at night,perhaps a little too quiet.I had my hands in my sweater's pocket,and the air was still.Beside the music that was coming out of my headphones,everything was so quiet.Save for the water trickling down the pipes and into the drain.It creeps me out everything to walk on that road,as if somebody's following.Its impossible for anybody to jump out from nowhere and stab you really.I mean,that road is pretty long and if somebody was to stab you he is either in front or behind.Basically,there's nowhere to hide.But for some reason it creeps me out every single time im there.When i look back,i always see somebody peeping over the fences to the right from the corner of my eyes.When i look back,its merely the tall hedges growing along the boundaries of my estate.But at night,they look like old men looking over the fences at this boy walking along this lonely road in the middle of the night.I wont say its the "There is a ghost somewhere" kind of feeling,but more like the "Im Watched" kinda thing.

There are a couple of places that i hate to be in.The so called "Unsettling Places".My grandma's house must be one of them.She lives in Taipei,the poorer part of it anyway.That is where my mom's family grew up,and apparently my grandma wasnt willing to leave that place.From my mother's mouth,my grandfather whom i have very little knowledge of,built that house himself.Of course,im sure he hired a worker or two to help out.But you could tell that the work was done by somebody less than being a professional.The house has three stories,with the bottom as the kitchen,the dining area and the living room where the television is.The second floor is my grandparents' bedroom,and another small living room.The third belonged to my uncle and his wife.Renovated it a couple of years ago,and left it untouched since then.I guess,some people just have too much money to spare.Anyway,that house is really weird.I guess it must be the dirt it collected over the years.The sight of a cockroach or two crawling around sometimes mustve freaked me out as a kid.I mean,im not afraid of them whatsoever.But i guess i have a thing for cleanliness.And the existence of them means that your house probably failed my "Cleanliness" Test.Its awfully quiet in that house when nobody speaks,and the toilets are always wet and sticky somehow.The third floor was where my mom's room was located.But after the renovation you can hardly tell that the third floor was divided into two initially.Despite the renovation that floor was still painfully scary at night.For some reason the streetlights never reaches the room.Not enough to light it up anyway.The lights are dimmed in an artistic way.You know how those beautifully renovated houses have really fancy lights all around,that serves no purpose other than making the room nice?Yeah,those lights.Anyway,the shadows always seem to be moving when i am there surfing the net.Which can creep me out sometimes.

The second floor was where my cousins and i would hang out last time,playing toy cars and huge lego pieces.Come to think about it,i wouldve been better off playing my uncle's guitar upstairs.Oh well,i had no clue how to play it back then.The second floor had this huge storeroom beside the piano,which was stacked with old funitures for god knows how long.Just imagine the millions of cockroaches and their offsprings can make me hurl.Due to the moist climate in Taiwan,the ceiling of my grandma's room had small patches of moulds growing here and there.I didnt like going there as well.

The smell of jozz sticks fill the first floor,and i can never sit still on the sofa without shifting my butt after a minute or two.I hate to lean back on the walls,because it just seems so dirty all the time.So everytime i go there,i simply sit with my back erected,and still on a spot.The status of some unknown gods are pretty scary to me at times.I mean,i hate dolls.And i hate status like that.Yes,im sure they are supposed to protect you and stuff.But its creepy to look at their faces for too long.Those expressionless faces with cold painted eyes.When my grandma died,i visted her place to pay my respect.With the coffin lying there on the first floor it was really terrifying.I guess,i fear death more than anything else.Especially when death comes knocking on the door of that particular house,it seems a whole lot scarier to me.I hate to go to my grandma's place,despite her being such a wonderful old lady.I love her,but not the house.It gives me the creeps really.

There are so many places that makes me feel uncomfortable.But oh well,i wonder if any of you have the same feeling when you go to somewhere.Here are just a couple of examples.Places that i dont really like to visit.Oh well,i guess my home is the best.Haha.

Song of the Moment---Oh by Dave Matthews Band

Of My NeverLand
Its been raining all morning through the afternoon.The wind is chillded and the air crisped.Like the winter's chill still new on a cheerful morning in spring.It feels exactly that nowadays,always raining.Its the rainy season,and so it begins here and now.

Everytime right before a rain when the wind is still blowing and the curtains are still flying,my family would be scrambling all over the house closing windows,pulling in the wet clothes and closing toilet doors.Its a busy scene indeed,for a minute or two.The big glass doors on my balcony are normally taken care of by me.They are huge and old,and they are not the easiest doors to close in the world.Im sure there's something stuck underneath the doors that's causing all the difficulty in closing it.Its probably those toy cars i used to play,but you never know.Ive told Dad to change them a million time,but of course its not really that urgent a matter to attend to.

The wind already picked up,and i could see plastic bags flying through the air between the block opposite and mine.I took a firm grasp at the edge of the glass and pulled with all my might.The doors moved,but wouldnt close.It left a gap of about fifteen centimetres apart."Well,screw it." i thought.Standing by the windows as the wind blasted its way through,the small droplets of rain splattered onto my face and blurred my vision for a while.Then i realised,that i used to love doing that when i was young.Everytime it rains,i would carry my toy box to the gap between the doors and play.I dont know why,but the feeling of wind blowing against the side of my face was great.I used to put my head between the doors and let the wind blow my hair around as i admired the power of mother nature.Neighbours frantically closing their windows and tshirts flying everywhere.Kids jumping up and down in their pajamas when the rain comes pouring down,and women trying to keep their skirts down as they scrambled through the streets.Haha,it was fun watching those as my face got soaked.Come to think about it,when was the last time i did something like that.Something i used to love as a kid.

I used to remain in the comforts of my blanket on Saturday and Sunday mornings,even when the sunlight already crawled up my butt.Its just that period of time,from the moment you open your eyes to the time when you are finally willing to crawl out of bed.I used to remain there,thinking about things.Not really asleep,but not too awake either.Simply staring into space and building castles in the sky.Mom has a book called,"Its Good to Idle Once in a While".Of course,its in chinese.That was perhaps the worst translation ever.But anyway,i guess its true sometimes.I loved to idle,and i love to just lie in my bed and waste the morning away.When was the last time i did that?

Somehow,so many things that i used to do in my childhood days are gone.Im not sure if this is part of puberty.If there's a definition for puberty,i wonder if it involves the stripping of childhood likings.Yeah,for some reason i do understand why the kids desired NeverLand so much in Peter Pan.The most innocent joy remains,while cheap thrills stay at bay.Its just the pace of my every day life that is making me sick.Losing all the things that i love to do,the people soon enough,and so many other things.Feel like screaming vulgarities into the wind and point a middle finger at my neighbours while im at it.Its a way to get free and let go.

Dellia(Awesome name isnt it?) said that my posts are full of anger nowadays.Well,maybe its the fullstops.I type too formally?I dont know.Maybe im just too pissed,but i dont know why.Im just angry,but for so apparent reasons.Being stripped of my innocence,robbed of the childhood dreams and joy might perhaps explain what's happening.Everything's got an explaination,right?Well,just another moody post on a moody night.Staring at the million citylights were fun.Joining the dots and making out shapes from the lines that ive drawn with thin air was stupidly fun.I took a time off from my Econs MCQ a while ago and just joined the yellow streetlights below,which seemed like yellow diamonds strewn across a pitch black ocean.Its times like these,that i should appreciate life a little more.That is my Neverland i guess.Where everything stops,and everything goes.

Song of the Moment---The Space Between by Dave Matthews Band

Of the Script Without Completion
Damon Hadley,a successful computer engineer at a major company was about to recieve his first promotion at the age of 26.He's about to marry his girlfriend,Nicole Fisher in nine months and everything seems to be going well for him.However,Damon was involved in a horrible car accident on the expressway after work one night.His car crashed off the road and into a tree,sending him flying out of the windshield.Damon survived,but the impact to his head caused him to fall into a coma.

Damon wakes up not in the hospital,but in a terminal.It resembled an airport terminal,with doors everywhere around him.Hannah is the tour guide of the Terminal.She explains that due to the impact to the head,the data within Damon's brain are mixed up and confused,sort of like the scenario of a dream where the facts are twisted.Hannah explains to Damon that he is trapped in a dream,and the only way to wake up from this dream is to find the exits of every dream to his final destination:The tunnel.Along the way,Damon has to find people in his life that he holds dear,and bring them along to his destination.Or else,they wouldnt exist anymore when he wakes up from his coma.Therefore,Damon goes through a struggle within his mind through dreams and nightmares in order to find his way through the tunnel and back into reality,with the help of Hannah.

Yeah,that's basically the summary of the script i have in mind.For some reason i came up with that plot on my way home from school the other day.Isnt it amazing how ideas can just strike like that?I mean,how often do ideas like that hit you when you are on the way home from school passing the construction site and under giant rain clouds?Its so unpredictable,and so interesting all at once.Beethoven was taking a stroll outside his house when he saw the moon above him.An idea struck him and he dashed all the way home just to write the notes to the song down.Of course,the song that he wrote then was the famous Moonlight Sonata.Like him,i ran all the way home and turned on my computer just to record my ideas down.It was a little rough,but the main idea was there anyway.

I was talking to Sock Khim yesterday night on MSN.Well,she read my blog regarding the NS.Well,as a girl of course she wouldnt understand how much it sucks to be enlisted.She tried to comfort me of course,but after i explained my reasons she understood why.Like i said,so many things i want to do yet so little time.The script above was planned to be written after my As and before my enlistment.Of course,i wasnt expecting such an early enlistment date back then.Now,this script will be delayed till god knows when.

"Your son will experience a totally different lifestyle in the NS..."

That is written in this "Parental Guidebook" CMPB sent to my place.A different lifestyle.Which means that the new "Me" that comes out from the camp,is going to be very different from the "Me" now.I like the "Me" now,and i dont want to change it.Of course,like Sock Khim said,hobbies like writing and music runs deep.What im afraid is how shallow these hobbies might get after two years of detachment.Two years is a bloody long time,and more than enough time to change someone.And as for me,its so easy to change myself.Im too adaptable sometimes.So much so that you can immerse me into an alien environment and expect me to come out different in a matter of weeks.Kinda like how you pour water colour into a cup of water.That's perhaps the closest analogy as to how quick i can adapt and blend.Im afraid,that i might come out of camp a totally different person.Scripts,books,music and movies no longer interests me.Its a scary thing,to know that what i love now may potentially disappear in a couple of years' time.

This script of mine,has a brilliant idea.It not going to be completed,and its never going to see its end.Of course,thats only an assumption.A prediction of what may happen.Of course,if the wind turns to my direction and the tide changes for the better,i might still continue this script,write more songs and watch more movies.There's always this possibility that this script will never be completed.Never be done.Never finished.Endless.No more than an idea.Perhaps somebody like Krishna might help me develop that idea into a real script,but for now it might just stay as a summary.

Oh by the way,today is somebody's birthday.I dont think you give a shit if i remember it or not.Of course i do.Its a special day.But of course,a message from me to you isnt going to worth anything.Im sure your own "Special Someone" had it all planned out for you.Im like the extra in a huge battle scene.Yes,im that guy who appears in the background,holding a spear and getting shot by an incoming arrow.Im that guy holding up a plastic tree on stage while Romeo and Juliet kissed.Im always there,but never noticed.Im always around,but never catches the attention.Whatever it is,birthdays should be celebrated.And what better way to celebrate than to sing you a song?

Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.

Yeah,you are not going to give a shit.But i sang it anyway,so i dont care if it reaches you or not.There,ive done my job.Back to your hugging and kissing.And please,do remind him to get a room when you are at it.

Song of the Moment---Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg

Song of the Day:
Hotel California by The Eagles



On a dark desert highway
Cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then she lit up a candle
And she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely place (background)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year
Any time of year (background)
You can find it here
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany twisted
She's got the Mercedes bends
She's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys
That she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard
Sweet summer sweat
Some dance to remember
Some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain
Please bring me my wine
He said
We haven't had that spirit here since 1969
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely Place
Such a lovely Place (background)
Such a lovely face
They're livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise
What a nice surprise (background)
Bring your alibies

Mirrors on the ceiling
Pink champagne on ice
And she said
We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device
And in the master's chambers
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember
I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
Relax said the nightman
We are programed to recieve
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave

Of the Combs for the Bald
Its been a rough week.Emotionally anyway.I shouldve taken the advice from the newspaper last Sunday when i read about my luck in the coming week.You know those columns with your horoscopes and your luck for the coming week?It asked me take things easy this week,and that things are not as bad as it seems.

However,having a NS enlistment date at 10th of December surely isnt something i can simply "Take it easy".Like i said before,its just too early and i have too many things i havent done.After NS,its the end of youth.Its end of your teenage life and your transformation to a man.Well,for most cases anyway.There's still so many things that i havent accomplish.Things that are exclusive to teenagers.Being young.Being under 20.Being everything.

Oh well,after thinking it through and talking to friends the dust finally settled.After all,there are more unfortunate people out there than myself.Dudley for example,is enlisted on 8th of December.That's not very much more unfortunate than myself,but being earlier is earlier.No questions about that.Being the "December Babies" as i like to call ourselves,i guess the only encouraging thought is to tell ourselves that the earlier we get in the earlier we get out.Every stage of my life seems to have a soul motivation of things.A single destination of a seemingly endless journey.Life in NYJC seemed like years,and the only thing that kept me going was perhaps the end of it all.The life after JC life and before NS.I guess right now,i wont be enjoying a lot of that,considering how that "Life" is shortened by a whole bunch.For some reason,im treating it like i am leaving forever and never to return.But anything could happen amongst the bushes and the twigs,the sand and the sea.Get shot by a bullet,blown up by a grenade,or drowned by an officer(Haha).Anything could happen,and i guess these are just precautionary actions.

Anyway,Dudley and i made a promise with each other that we are going to buy a whole lot of combs and give to our fellow friends who will be out of NS a couple of months later than ourselves.Of course,make sure that our hair are fully grown and dyed maybe.Head on to the camp and visit our friends."Oh,still bald?Oh yes,April isnt it?Well this comb is for you.Im not sure if its practical or not,but it'd come it handy someday." Well,its something im looking forward to definitely.Another motivation for me to drive down another phase of life.A tough and pebble strewn road ahead.

Studied with Samuel,Krishna and Ben at my school today.Its weird how we all have our favorite studying spot,and yet they are always the one flocking to my school to study.Yeah,my school's pretty cool for studying i must admit.Talking to them cure all diseases.Mental ones anyway.I felt a whole lot better talking to them,about our lives ahead and the world beyond.It got me thinking about the departure of someone from your life to pursue their dreams.In a way,it seems a little selfish to do so.After all,you have been part of my life for such a bloody long time,playing an important role and all.Then you leave to pursue your own career?Well,it may seem unfair.But i guess,thats all part of life.Han Li Kwang used to say,that the journey of life is like a bus route.And each stage of our lives is a bus stop.People come and go everyday,and one day that special someone is going to leave on a bus to a destination nobody knows where.Of course,i tried to put it in a more literatural manner.He said it in a pretty tough and Singaporean-like chinese way that disgusted me somehow.Anyway,i think that actually made sense.Hey,to make sense out of his nonsense and bullshit is a big deal indeed.Krishna's going to Germany,and later on to America to do business studies.Its odd that he's doing business without knowing anything about it.He never took Economics,and probably not the basic of basics:Demand and Supply.Oh well,he's there purely for the money.Studying business helps you to make money.A Donald Trump wannabe i guess.

Anyway,its sad to see people leaving your life.But of course,new people will come in and fill their places.Not everybody would leave of course.Im sure Samuel's here to stay in Singapore for quite some time.Sooner or later,im going to start on my journey.Im not sure if im going to succeed.To move on or to turn back.But whatever it is,some people would be left behind and new people met.Its a little selfish,but that's life isnt it.

In the mean time,im going to hang on to that "Motivation".To buy combs for my friends in NS with Dudley after we head on out of camp.Im so going to laugh at those 1 centimetre bald head while i twist my hair around my index finger.Just wait my friends,the jealousy is about to hit in two years' time.Just wait.

Song of the Day---Hotel California by the Eagles (I finally mastered the song.Thank god!)

Of the Letter of the Gloomy Afternoon
There,10th December.I'd be going to the army on the 10th of December.It seems like its a marked date of death for me,and the clock of my life starts ticking as i tore open the seal of the letter.

It was drizzling as i got out of the lift.Upon hearing the fact that everybody would be recieving their enlistment date,i ate my dinner and rushed down to the mailbox.My friends are enlisted in April,March,and some in January.Oh well,a friend of mine who failed his test as well is going during March.Of course,i had high hopes that i might just squeeze into the March batch.

Lift door opened,and the air was a little salty and wet.It was dark,a little too dark for a six o'clock sky.The envelope i torn had "10th December 2004(Fri)" typed right on top,nice and bold.I couldnt believe what i was seeing.I looked at it again and again,over and over.I even checked the address and the name.No mistakes,no errors,no flaws.I am supposed to be enlisted on 10th of December.Less than two months away.

As i type this entry,my mom is calling CMPB for confirmations.My dad's asking me some questions about the letter(Since he's English isnt that great)while sitting on the sofa in my room.I dont know what this feeling in my chest means.Sadness,because of the departure from the things i know all so well.My room,my friends,the computer,my guitar,the television shows,and life as a whole.Im supposed to leave them in less than two months and move on to the next phase of my life that i have never encountered before.Fear,because this uncharted territory might just kill me in the process.Ive always had this feeling that i'd die in the army.Its just not the place for me really.People like Nigel,Jared(The VS one)probably will have no problem surviving in their boot camps.Socially,they are friendly and stuff.I dont think i lack that,but im just not as physically fit as them.Not enough to survive anyway.

I feared Kindergarten a lot when i first went in.Hid behind my mother as she led me into the classroom filled with other kids i've never seen before.Of course,its a relationship that works both ways.They too,were scared of me when i first entered the classroom.Oh well,i just have this childhood fear of going to places that i dont know.Not to mention a place where i may potentially lose my life.Primary School was alright,since i started a conversation with a boy named Edwin in school concerning a cartoon,which so happened to be our favourites.Secondary School was bad,because nobody from my Primary School moved on to the same Secondary School as myself.I was lonely,alone and freaked out.This time,i dont supposed i'd find anybody going into the army on the same date as myself.Of course,i'd probably meet some fellow soldier-to-be at the bus interchange,but its just the environment that's going to haunt the lot of us.

I really dont want to leave this place that i am in now.Yes,education sucks.Being a teenager sucks sometimes.But im not ready to do something that may potentially kill me.At least im not ready to do it in less than two months.My parents werent happy about the fact that i will be enlisted on the 10th,because that means a cancellation of my Taiwan trip.My last Taiwan trip.Everything was well planned,at least for me.A holiday trip with friends to Phuket after As,the prom,then the trip to Taiwan.All,ruined.Im not sure of the new "5 day week" policy is going to make me feel any better.Two years,im not even sure if thats a long time or not.Its like going into battle with an empty scabbard.What am i supposed to fight with,if not my sword?

Everytime something goes wrong,deep inside me i always hope that my parents would have something up their sleeves which might prevent it from happening.When i was streamed to EM2 back in Primary 4,my parents talked to the principal and i was eventually pushed to EM1.It might be unfair for some,but at least i did relatively well in EM1.Well enough to ace a lot of subjects anyway.This time,of course i hope they might come up with a brilliant plan or scheme that might delay my enlistment date or whatever.But,chances are they are not going to come up with anything.Even so,i dont think its allowed.Not legally anyway.

Lets picture a man living in South Africa is working two day jobs.A cashier at a cafe in the morning,a construction worker for the rest of the day.He has three children to feed and their education is vital.His wife's money cannot support the family,so basically they are living under poverty.I dont think anybody can be happy under thoe circumstances.But if he has to move to Darfur,Sundan,i dont think he's gonna be happier there.

What im saying is,i am not happy with where i am now.But im certainly not going to be happier with the change.I'd rather remain here,as it is.Sometimes,i wonder why my family never moved to other countries where national service is not compulsory.I know,they have their company to run."America is not suitable for our type of occupation." they always said.But,lets imagine myself there for ten years.A place in a high school studying movies,music and a normal College Life without NS.What a bliss.That's amazing.Singapore has nothing to offer,a striking resemblance to a well.The frog in the well looks up and thinks that the world is as big as the sky above the well.But in truth,the sky is a whole lot bigger than the well.You might think that the water here is enough,but its never going to satisfy you.

10th of December.Thats too early.Too early.Im not ready to leave.Perhaps i should write my will.I have so many things i want to do,that has to be put on pause for two whole years.Books that i want to write.Films that i want to make.Scripts i want to finish.Things that i want to tell my friends.Places i want to go too.Impossible to finish doing them in two months.Not when the As is looming around the corner.As if i dont have enough bullshit to trouble my life,this comes along.

Why does every saddening event in my life has to happen on a gloomy day.This day,and last year's Valentine's Day.Everything.I dont want to leave this place,at least not so soon.I have things undone,so many things.So many...

Of Schindler's List



After a bloody long wait i finally finished downloading "Schindler's List" onto my computer.It couldve been done yesterday night,but the computer would not
co-operate,and slowed down to 0.02kbs when there's merely 6mbs left of download.You can imagine how frustrated i was,especially when the preview didnt exactly work.Anyway,so when i came home today after the study in school the first thing i did was to turn on Kazaalite and resumed the download.It was still crawling,but i didnt care much about it.

There arent a lot of movies out there that can move me.Like i told Corinna the other day,being a whiner back when i was a kid mustve drained my tears.Its so hard for me to shed a tear now,as if my eyeballs are experiencing a dryspell and everything's evaporated and dried up.Other than that ocassional tear when im dead tired at night,its an arid environment there in the iris.Oh well,this movie sure got me tearing.Man,it was so good i was clapping alone in my room when the movie was done.Mom thought i was nuts,but i couldnt help it.It was that good.

The movie directed by Steven Spielberg,is based on the story of Oskar Schindler(Liam Neeson)a Nazi businessman interested in obtaining Jewish backing for a factory he wishes to build.He makes contact with Itzhak Stern(Ben Kingsley),a Jewish accountant to arrange financial matters.Initially,Oskar was no different from an ordinary businessman,whose primary objective was the make profit.He hired Jewish workers because they were much cheaper than the Poles,and they worked in his factory DEF (Deutsche Emailwarenfabrik),a manufactory of pots and pans.

March 1943.Germany's intentions towards the Jews are no longer a secret.The Ghetto is "liquidated",with the survivors being herded into the Plaszow Forced Labor Camp. Many are executed,and still others are shipped away by train,never to return.During this time,Schindler has managed to ingratiate himself with the local commander,Amon Goeth(Ralph Fiennes),a Nazi who kills Jews for sport.Using his relationship with Goeth,Schindler begins to secretly campaign to help the Jews,saving men,women,and children from certain death.

Initially,Schindler was reluctant to help the Jews especially after his factory was rumored to be a Haven for the Jews.However,he began to help more and more Jews by buying them from these concentration camps,or bribing highly ranked officers for exchange or workers.His movement to safe the Jews were further elevated when he saw 10000 Jewish bodies were burnt together,and the ashes floated to his home as if it was snowing.His efforts were so intensed that at the end of the movie,Schindler had no money left with him at all.Everything was spent on saving the Jews,and their welfare.

Besides the story of Schindler himself,Spielberg captured the new images of old horrors.We already know what the gas chamber is like,or how the usual Holocaust movies were like.But this movie was totally different,in the sense that these are as ghastly and realistic as anything previously filmed,and Spielberg emphasizes the brutality of the situation by not pulling punches when it comes to gore.The blood, inky rather than crimson in stark black-and-white,fountains when men and women are shot in the head or through the neck.A scene with a whole bunch of naked women crowding into a chamber and await their death.When the doors were locked and they were gathered,the lights went off and they started screaming and pleading for mercy.That scene was so powerful,it was disturbing.Another scene was the physical checkup scene.Again,it featured naked men and women,but this time it is worse.The women had a rumor amongst themselves that those who are unhealthy would be sent to the gas chamber,while the healthier ones would continue work.The women pierced their finger tips and applied blood on their faces as makeups to make themselves look healthier.Of course,the passed the test and they were hugging each other while putting on their clothes.From the corner of the barracks came roaring in truck loads of children,and the adults screamed in terror as their children waved at them.They rushed up and chased the trucks,but the trucks drove away and to the children's death.Perhaps one of the most memorable character is the girl in red.She has no lines,and the camera hardly has a shot on her face.However,he red dress stands out in this black and white movie as she moves through the streets and amongst the crowd.We see a glimpse of her once in a while towards the centre portion of the movie.As Oskar Schindler visits the burning corpses,he noticed that girl in red in one of the piles,dead.There are other equally horrific scenes,for example the man who had his head blown off,and the doctors feeding the patients poison so that they wont feel a think when killed.Hills of dead bodies burnt like rubbish,and truckload of corpses were just some of the images this movie produced.

The last scene with the surrender of the German Army and Oskar Schindler were one of the most emotional scenes ive seen in my entire life.As Oskar leaves his factory,the workers gave him a golden ring they made as a token of their gratitude.With that,he broke down and mourned at how many more lives how could have saved,if he sold his car or his Nazi pin.That scene was the tear jerker really.

There were a only a few scenes with color in this entire movie,with the beginning of the film and the very end.The Scabbath scene towards the end had the candles lid with colour.In my opinion,that signified hope amongst the Jewish,and that was a nice touch by the director.At the end,the film paid tribute to the survivors of the Holocaust,with the help of Schindler.It featured the survivors putting rocks and pebbles on the grave of Oskar Schindler one by one.Ive heard the soundtrack of this movie,but with that scene it was just an emotion rollercoaster altogether.

This film was awesome in so man ways,which explains why it won Best Picture and Best Director in 1994.Powerful,disturbing and emotional movie all in one.This is war movie at its best,and its a classic that shouldnt be missed by anybody.Of course,do prepare yourself when you watch it,because its not for anyone.

Ratings:10/10 (I wouldve given a 11)

Schindler's Website
Actual Schindler's List

Quotes of the Day:
[Oskar orders the workers to spray water at the Jews inside the train upon seeing their suffocation]
Amon Goeth,"This is very cruel,Oskar.You're giving them hope.You shouldn't do that. That's cruel!"

Oskar Schindler,"Stern, if this factory ever produces a shell that can actually be fired, I'd be very unhappy."

Oskar Schindler,"Look, All you have to do is tell me what it's worth to you. What's a person worth to you?"
Amon Goeth,"No,no,no,No.What's one worth to you!"

Amon Goeth,"I would like so much to reach out to you and touch you in your loneliness. What would it be like, I wonder? What would be wrong with that? I realize that you are not a person in the strictest sense of the word, but, um, maybe you're right about that too. Maybe what's wrong, it's not us, it's this... I mean, when they compare you to vermin, to rodents and to lice. I just, uh, you make a good point. You make a very good point. Is this the face of a rat? Are these the eyes of a rat? "Hath not a Jew eyes?" I feel for you Helen."
[leaning forward to kiss her]
Amon Goeth,"No, I don't think so. You Jewish bitch, you nearly talked me into it, didn't you?"

Amon Goeth,"You want these people?"
Oskar Schindler,"These people. My people. I want my people."
Amon Goeth," Who are you? Moses?"

Oskar Schindler,"I go into work the other day. Nobody's there. Nobody tells me about this, I have to find out. I have to go in,everybody's gone."
Amon Goeth,"No,no.They're not gone.They're here."
Oskar Schindler,"They're mine!"

[To Stern, upon closing the factory deal]
Oskar Schindler,"My father was fond of saying you need three things in life - a good doctor, a forgiving priest, and a clever accountant. The first two, I've never had much use for."

[Goeth admires Schindler's his suit]
Amon Goeth,"It has a nice sheen to it. What is it, silk?"
Oskar Schindler,"Of course! I'd say I'd get you one but the man who made it's probably dead."

Amon Goeth,"They cast a spell on you, you know, the Jews. When you work closely with them, like I do, you see this. They have this power. It's like a virus. Some of my men are infected with this virus. They should be pitied, not punished. They should receive treatment because this is as real as typhus. I see it all the time. It's a matter of money?"

Itzhak Stern,"How many cigarettes have you smoked tonight?"
Oskar Schindler,"Too many."
Itzhak Stern,"For every one you smoke, I smoke half."

Itzhak Stern,"This list is an absolute good. The list is life. All around its margins lies the gulf."

Oskar Schindler,"Power is when we have every justification to kill, and we don't."
Amon Goeth,"You think that's power?"
Oskar Schinder,"That's what the Emperor said. A man steals something, he's brought in before the Emperor, he throws himself down on the ground. He begs for his life, he knows he's going to die. And the Emperor... pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go."
Amon Goeth,"I think you are drunk."
Oskar Schindler,"That's power,Amon.That is power."

[Addressing his workers at the end of the war]
Oskar Schindler,"The unconditional surrender of Germany has just been announced. At midnight tonight, the war is over. Tomorrow you'll begin the process of looking for survivors of your families. In most cases... you won't find them. After six long years of murder, victims are being mourned throughout the world. We've survived. Many of you have come up to me and thanked me. Thank yourselves. Thank your fearless Stern, and others among you who worried about you and faced death at every moment. I am a member of the Nazi Party. I'm a munitions manufacturer. I'm a profiteer of slave labor. I am... a criminal. At midnight, you'll be free and I'll be hunted. I shall remain with you until five minutes after midnight, after which time - and I hope you'll forgive me - I have to flee."
[He addresses the factory's SS guards]
Oskar Schindler,"I know you have received orders from our commandant, which he has received from his superiors, to dispose of the population of this camp. Now would be the time to do it. Here they are; they're all here. This is your opportunity. Or, you could leave, and return to your families as men instead of murderers."
[The guards gradually exit; he addresses the workers again]
Oskar Schindler,"In memory of the countless victims among your people, I ask us to observe three minutes of silence."

Oskar Schindler,"I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I'd just...I could have got more."
Itzhak Stern,"Oskar, there are eleven hundred people who are alive because of you. Look at them."
Oskar Schindler,"If I'd made more money... I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I'd just..."
Itzhak Stern,"There will be generations because of what you did."
Oskar Schindler,"I didn't do enough!"
Itzhak Stern,"You did so much."
[Schindler looks at his car]
Oskar Schindler,"This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. Ten more people."
[Removing Nazi pin from lapel]
Oskar Schindler,"This pin. Two people. This is gold. Two more people. He would have given me two for it, at least one. One more person. A person, Stern. For this."
[Schindler finally breaks down]
Oskar Schindler,"I could have gotten one more person... and I didn't! And I... I didn't!"

Itzhak Stern,"It's Hebrew, it's from the Talmud. It says, "Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire."
---"Schindler's List"(1993)

Of the Happy Ending
This week is the graduation week.Almost every school in Singapore had their graduation ceremony sometime this week.Well,that mustve been a day very much desired for most students.For us JC students,JC life does not end here.However,friends would be missed,farewell to teachers,and perhaps our friendly security guard as well.The same old words cling around people's mouths everywhere as i found my way through the crowd.People taking photographs with friends,with teachers,with the toilet doors as the background and so on.As i wandered through the crowd,i wonder how come im alone there chewing on my half eaten lollipop.

It must be a curse.I must be.Every graduation for me must end in a melancholic way.As i mentioned before,in Secondary School my classmates vanished and disappeared right after the ceremony in school.This time it was perhaps not as tragic,but tragic enough to say that i wasnt exactly happy with the ending.I mean,spending the last minutes of our lives as NYJC students with Miss Nirmala is definitely something you wouldnt want to remember.Especially when the results she gave out were not even half as well as you expected.Sitting on the chair,staring at the result slips and CCA records,the Gummy Bear like erasers seemed a little more interesting.

Its good to have a lot of goodbyes on the last day.Krishna for example,clearly had a fun time with his class on the last day.For some reason,im forced to think its because of the fact that my class is female dominated,which has led to the "separation".To call my class united might be an understatement.However,we dont hate each other at all.At least when it comes to dissing a teacher we are pretty damn united.Mr Yee,being the common target and stuff is often the only reason why the class laughs together and have a common goal(That is,to put him down).I tell people that my class is a "United Separatists".It has got to do with girls' way of dealing things i guess.Its hard to understand girls really.They can forgive you for something you did,but still cling on to that fact for milleniums.Then bring that up in an argument that really puts of off.As for guys,we can still be friends after a punch of two in the first.Still remember back in the Secondary School days I used to hate Dudley and Timothy a lot.They were the big boys in class,both physically as well as social status.I sucker punched them a lot of times,and we pretty much hated each others' guts.Well,we ended up as good friends.Haha.That's how guys works.We dont give a shit about what you did in the past,we care about what you do now and tomorrow.Like Dudley said on his blog to a friend of his,"I dont care if you killed somebody.You are still my friend."(Or somewhere along that line.Forgive me if my memory capacity is less than desirable).Of course,that doesnt mean you can offend that big guy.No,you wont want that.

Anyway,my class has cliques.Lots of cliques,as do all female dominated societies."Totally stupid!" my mom commented,as she told me about how the female employees in her office have cliques as well.I just snickered under my breath at the resemblance it has on my own class.Cliques are fine,as long as the reason for the separation is not "Hatred".But,its just a weird community in my class.This weird atmosphere when you step in.You dont actually feel like you are outcasted,but you dont really feel like you belong?I dont know.Its just a weird feeling.Krishna,Samuel and I were one group back in my old class and we never seemed to have a problem messing around with the rest of the boys.Siang Hong calls me his "Partner in Crime" back in SRJC,and we too havent got a problem having fun.

As a result,everybody went their own ways on graduation day.That leaves the class photos we took as the only evidence of us ever being a class together.Pathetic,if you put things in perspective.I dont blame the class for anything,after all its in the genes of girls to have cliques and get themselves separated from each other.Its just that,i wouldve been a happier man this week if i had my ideal happy ending.An ending to my life in NYJC.Life there hadnt been something that ive hoped for in JC life.Not entirely anyway.So there's always a speck of hope that perhaps the ending might compensate for everything else.It ended off like a candle burning out by itself,leaving trails of smoke floating up through the air.Kind of like the beginning of "Schindler's List"(Which by the way,is 300mbs to completion).

I dont think its too much to ask for a perfect ending.Or a nice one anyway.Perhaps things couldve different if there werent so many minor conflicts amongst the girls.A little less saliva and a little more understandings might have done the trick.Compromising,isnt that what we need to do in order to have peace and harmony in a community?Is it too much to ask for from me?Perhaps the only thing worth mentioning about my graduation day this year was the jamming session i had with Ahmad and Samantha in the band room secretly.With the key to the room and the enormous supply of any musical instruments you can think of its hard to keep your hands off them.Ahmad got to school early and dragged me down there just to jam with him.Fine,i took the bait.Jamming is fun anytime anywhere.Sam got to school early too,and she too couldnt resist the temptation of the drum sticks.We played songs there for a long time,and it was a whole lot of fun.Oh,and perhaps the metallic flower Corinna gave me was worthy of remembrance as well.I have it on my guitar right now.Didnt want to lose it you know.

If i didnt have those,i might just strangle myself with the tie i had on that day.Or pop the lollipop deeper into my throat and choke myself to death.After all,why the hell not.Nobody's gonna notice amidst the photo takings and endless chatterings with each other.

So much for my happy ending.

Song of the Moment---Love of my Life by Santana featuring The Dave Matthew's Band

Of Beren and Luthien Tinuviel

The leaves were long,the grass was green,
The hemlock-umbels tall and fair,
And in the glade a light was seen
Of stars in shadow shimmering.
Tinuviel was dancing there
To music of pipe unseen,
And light of stars was in her hair,
And in her raiment glimmering.

There Beren came from mountains cold,
And lost he wandered under leaves,
And where the Elven-river rolled
He walked alone and sorrowing.
He peered between the hemlock-leaves
And saw in wonder flowers of gold
Upon her mantle and her sleeves,
And her hair like shadow following.

Enchantment healed his weary feet
That over hills were doomed to roam;
And forth he hastened,strong and fleet,
Through woven woods in Elvenhome
She lightly fled on dancing feet,
And left him lonely still to roam
In the silent forest listening.

He heard there oft the flying sound
Of feet as light as linden-leaves,
Or music welling underground,
In hidden hollows quavering.
Now withered lay the hemlock-sheaves,
And one by one the sighing sound
Whispering fell the beechen leaves
In the wintry woodland wavering.

He sought her ever,wandering far
Where leaves of years were thickly strewn,
By light of moon and ray of star
In frosty heavens shivering.
Her mantle glinted in the moon,
As on a hill-top high and far
She danced,and at her feet was strewn
A mist of silver quivering.

When winter passed,she came again,
And her song released the sudden spring,
Like rising lark,and falling rain,
And melting water bubbling.
He saw the elven-flowers spring
About her feet,and healed again
He longed by her to dance and sing
Upon the grass untroubling.

Again she fled,but swift he came.
Tinuviel!Tinuviel!
He called her by her elvish name;
And there she halted listening.
One moment stood she,and a spell
His voice laid on her;Beren came,
And doom fell on Tinuviel
That in his arms lay glistering.

As Beren looked into her eyes
Within the shadows of her hair,
The trembling starlight of the skies
He saw there mirrored shimmering.
Tinuviel the elven-fair,
Immortal maiden elven-wise,
About him cast her shadowy hair
And arms like silver glimmering.

Long was that way that fate them bore,
O'er stony mountains cold and grey,
Through halls of iron and darkling door,
And woods of nightshade morrowless.
The Sundering Seas between them lay,
And yet at laest they met once more,
And long ago they passed away
In the forest singing sorrowless.

Of the Replacements
Never a sportsman myself.I know,most girls like guys with muscles big enough to rival the size of their heads.Oh well,i guess im a little influenced by my sister.She hates guys with big muscles,oddly.Perhaps its the image of oiled up men in tights on the stage flexing their bowling ball sized muscles that turned her off.Whatever it is,i was never a sportsman.

Therefore,its hard to understand how it feels like to be a bench player.I joined basketball as a ECA(It was called ECA back then)when i was in Primary School.I suck at basketball really,and instead of playing the ball it hits me most of the time.I couldnt shoot very well,not to mention layups.I joined halfway through a school year,so everybody had a head start.Oh well,i hated it anyway.The trainings all the way till 5pm was definitely not something a Primary School kid could tolerate.

The big day came for the little basketball players.The "Day of the Jerseys".Basically,the teacher in charge asked all the players to assemble inside the PE department storeroom where the balls and bats were,and from a big basket he handed out the jerseys.I didnt go in really,since i didnt expect to be in the team.However,no matter how obvious the situation is turning out to be,there's always a little spark of hope at the back of my mind that i might perhaps see my name and number on one of the jerseys.Well,the basket was emptied and my name was not called.Standing by the window and seeing my fellow team members cheering and laughing over their clean and new jerseys,i felt pretty bad for myself.Oh well,its all expected.

That was perhaps the closest ive felt like i was a bench player.As time went by and im not an 18 year old guy,that incident doesnt bother me anymore.In fact,im thinking "Thank god im not in the team".Back then,winning a national championship meant nothing more than some cash price,and a statue of a naked golden man with a basketball in his hand.Now,seeing the rugby team or the basketball team earning their places in the national championships is the real deal.Bench players,or the replacements,are often seen as "Extras".Like the "Passer-By A" in a Hollywood movie,the play a small role in the team.Oh,perhaps being the WaterBoy or the Camera Boy.Yeah,ive seen players doing tasks like that.Isnt it sad,that your fellow teammates are up there playing and battling it out while you are on the bench throughout the game,perhaps a whole tournament and never gets a chance to actually play?Its a sad thing,to know that you are physically in a team but not mentally.

At 18 years old,everybody around me has built up a social circle that's perhaps so solid its unbreakable.Sometimes,one might just feel like a replacement in a team.This person might seem close to you,and he/she calls you a friend.They might treat you a little more than just friends sometimes,but thats that.The seats of "Best Friends" are already taken in his/her life are already taken,and its impossible to squeeze yourself onto that ride no matter how hard you try.Then you start to wonder why he/she seems to friendly to you in the first place,since nothing is ever going to happen.There are people in his/her life that are so important,that no matter what you do now,its not going to change the place you take in his/her mind,because you are second in priority compared to those luckier people who met him/her earlier.

You just feel like a replacement.You cant help it.In a foreign and unfriendly environment,you cant help but to grab a replacement sometimes.To have somebody in company is after all,better than no one.So that bench player is in sight,and you just grab him/her to be your friend.That replacement thinks he/she gets a chance to be in the team,maybe a chance to play in a game.A little "Social" game.But in your heart,you know this replacement you just grabbed will never really replace anybody.This innocent replacement player hangs around with you,until one day he realises that he's gonna remain as a replacement in your life.

Not everybody ends up like Keanu Reeves' character in The Replacements.From a bench player to the star player of the team.After all,its Hollywood.Being the waterboy all the time is just plain tiring.You just want to be part of the game,perhaps score a goal or two.Too bad all the players are more experienced than you are.

In the game of "Social Circles",whoever makes a mark first wins.Whoever comes in late,remains late and never replaces the star players.The worse thing is,even when the star player has a limb broken,he wont be replaced.

Song of the Moment---Victoria by John Mayer(Since i just learnt it)

Of the Phases
Life is divided into so many phases.One part of the journey ends,another begins.That seems to be the way our lives nowadays.Of course,the big picture can be divided into "Infancy","Teens",Mature" and "Aging".At least thats how i see it.Of course,the first stage already ended for me a long time ago.I dont remember when was the last time i pee my pants,sucked on my thumbs or cried when i was hungry.Oh well,i guess the "Teens" stage is coming to an end as well.Tomorrow marks the end of the JC life in NYJC,though not necessarily JC Life.To me,JC Life ends after the As.Education ends after the university,which seems to be miles away from me now.

Great.

All i want is to have this Education life over and done with.This dreadful phase of waste.Well,things that i would miss?A few,here and there i guess.The guitar club,the performances and perhaps those long hours after school with my friends studying.Oh,and the instant noodles beside the fountain.That was great Ahmad.Haha.But other than that,i dont see anything else worth grieving over.Some might say,perhaps two years is too short a time for any form of relationship to grow between people and the environment.But i have way stronger feelings for SR after three months there.In fact,less than that.It depends on people i guess.I bet there are NY fanatics out there,crying and sobbing for the pure fact that they are leaving school.If i dont have the As i would organise a party.Beers on me.Really,the departure from that place is seriously a benchmark of happiness.For me.

Of course,i cannot deny that fact that i had good times in this place.Its hard to say,"I have nothing to lose." really.Its weird to leave a place where you have "dwelled" for the past two years.Ive experienced it twice already.Once in Primary School,and once in Secondary School(I dont consider leaving Kindergarten as a phase really.It was as insignificant as that).I dont even remember what happened on the last day of Primary School.Maybe i didnt even know that school ended and that the next phase of life is about to begin.I was too carefree back then,living in a world of my own confined to my limitless imaginations.The last day of Secondary School was grand,with a twist of sorrow i guess.I mean,we had a graduation ceremony nonetheless.The talks by the principal,the talks by students and guest of honor.You know,the usual.The class sat in a row,and i remembered passing this booklet around for people to sign.Haha.A friend of mine tore off the sticker that had the sponsor's logo from the back of the chair and stuck it in my book.I think it was Cliburn(Damn you.Haha).I even let Jared(Kong)sign my book.Haha.Well,he's a piece of my memory that i'll never forget.Unwillingly as it may be.Sad thing was,after the ceremony everybody left home without pictures being taken whatsoever.Barney,Joseph,JianXian and I did though,and the porch.But that was four person our of nearly 30 people?It was sad to see how other classes went back to their classrooms and had a blast inside,while you sat alone with a small group of friends,wondering what to do next.After all,that's not "Goodbye" is it?

Like i said,despite having very little fond memories of this place,im still going to miss the people that contributed to that little happiness that i might gained throughout my journey.Especially the friendships that blossomed through out the days and weeks.Like Dudley said on his blog,friendship knows no boundaries.But then again,when the time comes for us to leave,the boundary is always so visible.You just turn your head to deny it,but its always there.At least thats how i see it.

The saddest thing is perhaps the fact that i dont even want to attend this Graduation Ceremony tomorrow.Isnt it important?I mean,it is after all the end of something,and the beginning of another.Oh well,i just dont want to recieving my CCA records and my Prelim results.They can keep it for all i care.I dont want such a thing in my house to remind me of my stupidity.I have enough Maths and Economics notes to do that.I dont know how it is going to turn out tomorrow really.Its not the end really.There's still the prom,and there will be more pictures being taken then.My mother always thinks that it is odd to have a graduation before a major exam.Its just weird i guess?Oh well,phase 3 of my "Educational Life" is about to come to an end.And i dont intend to recieve it with my arms outstretched.Because i know what comes after,is gonna be so heavy a burden for me to carry,that even if i have my arms opened its going to smack me right in the fact and knock me out.

Why cant we just do what we like on the last day.Throw a party,get high,get drunk and have some fun.Or just do what the lyrics of "Just Another Phase" by The Moffatts is about.Just lay back and do nothing.When was the last time i ever did that?My thoughts have been filled with so many things,even when im sleeping.Its an awful way to end a phase really.I hate the way things are going round now.I guess that devil inside me is laughing,asking me that question that i regret to answer.

How do you like them apples?

Great.Very great.

Sit around and watch TV.
God i hate what i see.
Lock me up and throw away the key.
I'll spend my time chugging tea...

Throw my change down a machine.
Buy a chocolate bar so i can dream.
Another day goes down the drain.
Wash away,
Yeah,wash away the pain...

Well it's just another phase that i'll go through.
This time i'm sure i'll lose you.
Place my bets on all the jacks and queens.
The probability being that it seems.
I'm blind, i'm blind...

Of the Pigeon Amidst the Vultures
Knowing people from all age groups and backgrounds is fun.Somehow,through the conversations you have with them,you truly realise how vast this world really is,and perhaps how small we really are in the scheme of things.Most of my local friends are around my age,and the experiences they have in life do not differ very much from my own.After all,we are all going through the same dreadful education system,which some of us assume to be the "Worst Part of Life".As naive as it may be,i guess its inevitable to say "Life Sucks" during the school days.The worse is yet to come,and you know what?Life is only gonna get worse.Much worse.

I have friends from overseas such as the US and the European area.Like i said,its fun to have friends of different nationality and background.I know most,in fact all of them from the ComingSoon Boards that i visit everyday.Its a routine really,and i guess in a way they've showed me how the world works.Catche is an "About to Be" mother with a baby already in her womb.Impulse is a cop in America,who has seen the worst side of humanity in our society.I remember once we were talking about some cases he encountered,and there was this once when he saw a man being chopped up in the morgue.Secant,whose friend was murdered shortly after her wedding shared her grief with everyone on the boards.Perhaps the more recent friend Ive made is Shandy,a relief teacher in Singapore.Her life resembles that of a wanderer sometimes.Watching movies alone,being enclosed in a space of her own,social circle big enough only to rival that of a ten cent coin and so on.And mind you,she's in her early twenties.

To think about it,if someone whines about how his/her life sucks right now,i wonder if they ever thought about how it is going to turn out in five years time.To me,i think with the individual pursue on life and the stress that accumulates with every working day is going to detach us from the life we were so used to before.Detachment from life is a scary thing,with what you used to know and what you already gotten used to left behind like that old cassette tape of Led Zeppelin now,inside your cupboard gathering dust and smelling like moth balls.

Life,seems bleak.Right now in our schooldays,we help each other when we have problems.After all,we are all in the same "Circle of Hell".Everybody's going to face the same test,and everybody's going to eventually face their fears.So why not help each other out?When we are out in the society,it is a totally different story.Its like every one of us is holding a bowl and lined up alongside the streets begging for money.That bowl of yours is the only way you are allowed to collect money,and if that bowl is broken,there goes your life.The source of your income.Food.Water.Entertainment etc.You die without that bowl.Everybody's minding their own businesses out there.Nobody cares if your bowl is broken or not.As long as they have their palms glued tied to theirs,they are safe and perhaps earn a little quick cash out of your misfortune.Thats the harshness of life right there.Some of you might go,"He's 18.What does he know?".Well,perhaps im just being passive about life itself.Not optimistic enough to say that "There's always a brighter path."After hearing and listening to so many misfortunes and mishaps that happened in the world,you tend to wonder if its safe to step out into the society.Like how a young pigeon is ready to fly out of its nest and into the skies.Seems beautiful doesnt it?White fluffy clouds backed by infinite blue skies.Perfect picture.Until a sparrow flies by the morning sky,and an eagle swoops down from nowhere and tears the sparrow into pieces.Now,it is the perfect picture stained with blood(And perhaps feathers).
Its like a pigeon in between a horde of vultures,starved for days and weeks.Eyes piercing yours with their wings outstretched and ready to tear you apart with those claws.You feel so innocent suddenly.So small.So insignificant.

I dont want detachment.I dont want to have my life taken from me for the sake of a job to fill my bowl.To end up like Bill Murray or Scarlett Johansson's characters in Lost in Translation.They seem to be the typicality of a working adult.Someone amidst the harsh society.The pigeons.The food in perspective of the vultures.Lost in Tokyo with nobody insight to help them.Everybody's away to do their own things and mind their own businesses.No one to help except for each other.

What a sad thought it is,to know that things are not going to get better.As Mr Ng revealed today,the retirement age in Singapore is 62.Which means,i am 44 years away from retiring.44 years.Thats more than half of a life expectancy of an average human being.Think about the routine job you are gonna do everyday,and the occasional swoop of the eagles.

I see trees of green,
Red roses too.
I see them bloom,
For me and for you.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue,
And clouds of white.
Bright blessed days,
Warm sacred nights.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow,
So pretty in the sky.
Are also on the faces,
Of people going by.
I see friends shaking hands,
Sayin',"How do you do?"
They're really sayin'.
I love you.

I hear babies cry,
I watch them grow.
They'll learn much more,
Than I'll never know.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world...

Ironic,isnt it.Contradiction,its evident.

Song of the Day:
This Year's Love by David Gray



This years love had better last.
Heaven knows it's high time.
And i've been waiting on my own too long.
But when you hold me like you do,
It feels so right.
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on...

Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before i open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet...



This years love had better last
This years love had better last

So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last...[x4]

Of Polar Bears

C. Social structure.
1. Polar bears are basically solitary. Usually, only two social units exist: (1) adult females with cubs and (2) breeding pairs.
Polar bears are basically solitary. However, in some southern regions, like Hudson Bay, bears may aggregate on land during the ice-free summer and autumn months.
2. Polar bear aggregations.
a. Polar bears will aggregate to feed on large whale carcasses and at dump sites.
b. In some southern regions, like Hudson Bay, bears aggregate on land during the ice-free summer and autumn months.
3. On occasion, adult and sub adult (ages 30 months to five or six years) polar bear males will feed and travel together for short periods of time.

Well,i saw a documentary on Polar Bears on National Geographic Channel yesterday afternoon.Yes,i dont just watch movies on HBO and music videos on MTV.I do care about mother nature you know.Actually,both Discovery and National Geographic are pretty interesting.At least,they teach you things at the comfort of your home.And to me,the way they inform you about the world is way more interesting and efficient than textbooks and notes.Why not just burn all of those and show us those channels all day long for a whole year.I bet we'll know more things than words and more words.

The above is an abstract from an article i found online.If i were to compare myself to an animal,it could be a Polar Bear.Of course,i am in no way close to a 800 pound male Polar Bear.I am not even as thick as its hind legs.But in terms of my social structure,i think more or less we are the same sort of animal.

Let's face it,JC life has toned down by quite a fair bit.Pace has quickened,and the leisure time shortened.But then energy that you might have possessed is lost.Its routine all day long,and it has affected me a lot one way or another.Back in Secondary School i was the guy around school where people would say "Hi." to me,followed by a good chat about exam results,or bitching about certain teachers(Common topic:Han Lee Kwang).Right now,due to the monochrome life of JC,ive toned down a lot.I dont consider myself a loner.After all,i dont have a whole table to myself during lessons,or the lack of quality conversations with fellow classmates.I tend to isolate myself a little bit.Just like today after the Maths lecture.I simply sat at the back of the LT alone and slept with the discman on.Well,the lights were dim and i was not interested in doing anything else but "Quality Rejuvenation".To a stranger,i might just be another loner sitting in the corner outcasted by the rest of the world.Hey,you dont know me so just leave things at it is and shut your gap(That was not directed at anybody in particular).

Polar Bears are solitary animals,and according to the documentary i watched yesterday they wander around the plains of Greenland and Alaska alone most of the time.However,they do enjoy company at times.The documentary showed a friendly relationship between a polar bear and a dog.Well,the dog was practically crushed under the bear's tremendous weight,but both of them seemed to be enjoying themselves(Perhaps a little more for the latter).I do appreciate my time alone in the wild.Perhaps a little fun with the fish out of the water,or perhaps baby seals.Ok,that was a little graphic,but you know what i mean.Being alone isnt such a bad thing.But of course,i do realise that if i keep myself away from a certain social circle i might be out of it forever.My mom used to scare me with little "Lies to tell a Five Year Old" stuff."If you dont talk for a day you will forget how to talk.Then you will go dumb(Unable to speak) afterwards!"I guess,the same logic applies(Though not necessarily true).I love people,and i like being around people.But sometimes,i just like to be alone.Like a polar bear.



Adorable,arent they?

When im alone i might just ski down the snowy slopes of Alaska.Slide around on the frozen lakes on my belly.Hibernate in my cave all day long,and perhaps find a fellow Polar bear to pick a fight.But then again,im in a JC life.So i might just...

Go fish.

Pun intended.

("Go Fish" also means "Dream On")

Song of the Moment---American Idiot by GreenDay