Of the Nightingale
There,the Prelim ended.It certainly ended off with a bang.Well,usually an ending with a "Bang" means that the ending was particular exciting or fulfilling.Well for this Prelims,it wasnt.The "Bang" i mentioned was actually the sound of bullet flying out of the gun barrel as i shoot myself to death.Yes,i am pretty suicidal right now.

Well,like i said before those few papers were fine with me.Not that they were easy,or i had any hopes in it whatsoever.But at least i gave it my best shot.Well,it might have missed completely and shot backwards altogether but hey,i knew i pulled the trigger as hard as i could.The Economics paper was fine actually.I know i didnt write enough,but i really ran out of points to write.To say that i did the best i could wouldnt be a lie.I did.Yesterday was the Economics Paper 1 and 2.Well,there were surprisingly easy.But then again,you know Economics works.If you think you did well,you will do ok.If you think you did ok,you are screwed.If you think you are screwed,you are very very screwed.Thats how it works for me anyway.Yesterday's paper was somewhere between the first and the second.Well,not so bad isnt it?Hope so.Then it came the Geography Paper 2 and Maths Paper 2 today.Well,i hadnt have time to study for Geography Paper 2.Well,i think i was the only one who found the paper extremely difficult.That was a good trick Kim Teck,you got us all.Since i never studied anything about Esther Bioserup i gave up on that Essay Question.The problem comes:The other two options are Industrial Geography and Urban Geography,which i did not touch at all.Well,i did study population per se,but i did not touch the Malthus or Boserup parts.Yay.Therefore i ended up screwing up the Urban Geography question as well as the Tourism question,which i only start studying yesterday night.

Bang.

Anyway,so after the paper i didnt whine much.Well,i did.But lesser than usual anyway.Took some time to study outside the LT for the maths exam coming up before Ahmad mat me.We headed to the Grand Stand to study afterwards,and boy was it hot(No,not him.Please).Was i holding much hope for the maths exam?No.Well,since Paper 1 wasnt that well done i figure:Screw it.I was tired of studying anyway.I hadnt talked to Ahmad for a while actually.So we started talking about Maths,his papers,my papers,and the jamming session we promised after our Prelims(His will end tomorrow).It started pouring at about 12nn,and to be honest the Grand Stand was awesome with the little droplets of rain hitting your face.Well,i did get a few equations into my head,but to say that i was prepared for the exam would be the upmost lie.

The maths exam was tough.At least the Section A was REALLY tough.Thank god i wasnt the only one who thought that.Nisah shared the same number of questions answered(Thank god).During the test i immediately skipped to Section D and started scribbling away.Those questions at the back were surprisingly easy.Fine,i skipped a few questions.But so what?I thought the one i could do was easy.Anyway,so i managed to write about 70% of the questions.Now,thats an achievement.I didnt even write as much for the test earlier on this term.Oh well,so i went back and forth between sections for the rest of the time.It started pouring again,and i suddenly remembered Sam's reminder from behind,"Dont get Emo."Haha.Well Sam,im not sure if getting suicidal is considered being "Emo" or not,but i was definitely feeling suicidal.Oh,and stupid as well.But then again,thats what exams are for isnt it.To either make you feel superior over the others or make yourself feel extremely stupid.In which case,i felt the latter.

I spent the last 15 minutes looking out into the fields really.The rain reduced itself into a soft drizzle and you could see birds hopping around on the field looking for Earthworms to eat(At least i think thats what they were doing).Then i started thinking how nice it wouldve been to be a bird.To live a bird's life.You wont have problems at all,and i dare say that they dont feel stupid about themselves when they see maths equations and more maths equations.Wonders maybe,but not stupidity.And when they dont like this certain place,they fly away.Of course,if you want to be a bird you would have to tolerate the taste of Earthworms.Anyway,i was praying for the rain to continue till the exams are over.Well,and it did.I walked down the Grand Stand and into the pouring rain.Well,i should cleanse myself really.I mean,i feel dirty and stained by the exams.So enclosed and restricted.

Definition of Nightingale:
night.in.gale n.
1.A European songbird (Luscinia megarhynchos) with reddish-brown plumage, noted for the melodious song of the male at night during the breeding season.
2.Any of various other nocturnal songbirds of the genus Luscinia.

If i am a bird,or at the least compared to one in an analogy,i would want to be a Nightingale.Well,why not anyway.I am a nocturnal animal anyway.I think sleeping at 4am on weekends and 1am on weekdays qualifies me for that part.I am a male,and i like to sing.So what more do i want?(Though i dont have reddish-brown plumage,or the melodious sound i make).Most of all,i would like to fly away from here.So far away that i wont have anymore troubles that lingers with me.Well,at least i wont feel stupid when i see something i dont know.There's a particular thing i like about birds.This innocence they have when they look at you.Sharp,yet filled with wonder.Well,birds include the ones that flies,not chicken.Chicken looks at you and say,"Dont chop off my neck."Geez,that sounded so much like me pleading for mercy on my knees before the word "Mathematics".Oh well,a Nightingale is nice.Very nice.That innocence it has upon the world.Instead of feeling stupid about yourself,you wonder and you ponder like a child.When you are bored,just fly up into that tree at night when nobody's around and sing.To sing before an audience that is not there,to care not about the applause,and gain satisfaction by doing what you love.Sometimes,that doesnt sound so bad at all.After all,being a nocturnal songbird,nobody listens at night.You are alone in your show,and the world is your stage where everything's asleep.You dont care about anything anymore.Just sing yur lungs out.So innocent and so free of doubt.A Nightingale...

Song of the Moment---What am I to You? by Norah Jones