Of the Life on Pluto
Its the 29th of September,which marks a month to Dudley's birthday,a month after DeeHui's birthday,and three month after my own.Well,everybody happens to have birthdays on the 29th of a month,which is why i remembered.Haha.Oh well,read on Dud's blog about how his 18 years old life on this planet wasnt actually well spent.Well,i have to concur reluctantly.Not that i agree with the fact that he wasted his 18 years of life whatsoever,but i feel that im in the same state as he is.

18 years old.Thats supposed to be a milestone of some king isnt it.I mean,people are always talking about the things you can do when you are 16,18,21 and so on.When you are 16 you get to watch NC-16 movies and you think you are invincible at the cinemas.You can walk into Monster Cue without being stopped on weekdays,and that makes you feel like the king of the cue.When you are 18 you can drink,you can club,you can learn to drive and watching M-18 movies are no longer a hindrance.With that liberty presented to you at a mere and tender age of 18,do i really need to mention what freedom you get when you are 21?Oh well,its weird how so much liberty is given to us,yet we feel so hollow in our lives.So little is being accomplished,and yet the opportunities are infinite.

Im 18,and looking back at my childhood days,those were the days of bliss.Nowadays you have stress from exams,stress from exams,stress from Project Work(Applies for Amenda),stress for a whole lot of things that you might not even have thought about when you were sitting on the floor banging two HotWheels cars together and getting the adrenaline rush after seeing them fall apart.Those were the days when "Stressed" meant "Desserts" spelled backwards,when your parent's consoles actually meant something.Not that it doesnt mean anything now,but they have much lesser and insignificant effect on you.Well,at least for me.Those childhood days went by slowly for me,and i was unwilling to change.When you were in that comfortable a place,with boxes of toys under your bed and icecream without your reach in the fridge its hard to let that part of life go just like that.As a result,i never really pursued what i wanted in life.Oh well,not that i knew what i wanted anyway.After all,i was a kid.Some Secondary School kids might think that they are big enough to take care of themselves yada yada,but in truth they are not.I thought i was,but now that i look back at myself i couldve given that "Me" a tight slap across the face."You dont know nothing about life."

I have to say that i like myself now.Well,mentally anyway.I like what i like to do,which is playing music,writing music,writing poems,books,watching movies and stuff.All those only started blossoming at the beginning of my 17th year on Earth,which makes me wonder what in the world have i been doing for the past 16 years?Sucking on my thumb and drooling on my handkerchief?It was a stress-free and free life,even with all the restrictions of age,but ive wasted all that away.Sometimes,i wish i started playing guitar a little earlier so that i can be better now.I wish that Ive read more books back in Secondary School so i can write better,or at least on par with Timothy(Let's admit it,his blog entries are always interesting).Kudos to you on that,mate.I wish i started doing a lot of things that i only start doing last year.Well,i guess the incident with me and "her" really changed me as a person.The overview and outlook on life seriously changed for me,and i only hope that that happened a little earlier.Perhaps i wouldnt feel that the past 16 years were a waste.Of course,one's childhood shouldnt be burdened with stress or whatever.But then again,i like to be stressed about what i like.Stressed that i cannot play a certain riff of a song,stressed that i cannot continue on to the next chapter of my book,stressed that i have no inspiration for the next verse of a song.The truth is,stress is good only when its based upon what i like to do.

Oh well,enough of my endless ramblings.I really dont want to end up like Warren Schmidts from "About Schmidts" which is one of my favorite movies of all time.Fantastic movie.Warren Schmidts is a man in his 60s,and he is depressed about his life.His wife is getting on his nerves every single day,his daughter is about to get married to the wrong man,and the discovery of his wife having an affair with his best friend depressed him further.So when he failed to stopped his daughter's wedding,he goes back home and sits at his table.The truth is,we humans are so small a thing in this universe.We are so puny as compared to the infinite stars out there.How do we make ourselves significant enough to be known and recognised by this small community of people we call "Human"?As Warren Schmidt enters his house,he looks around the empty living room and corridors and goes:

"I know we're all pretty small in the big scheme of things, and I suppose the most you can hope for is to make some kind of difference, but what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me?"

The truth is,i dont think anybody is better off because of me in the past 18 years.Well,some say that as long as you are happy,you are the happiest man in the world.But i dont think im happy.At least not before i started knowing what i like to do.Its like a line from Goo Goo Dolls' song called "Name".It goes(Sing along with it Krishna):

"Dont it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?"

So from right now,its best to live life to the fullest.Life is short.It really is.In five or ten years' time,you are going to be working.Married.Have kids.Pay income tax.Corporate tax.Then when you are 40,you are going to be bored.Lonely.Sick of Marriage.Kids' puberty.Balding.Wrinkles.Spots.The typicality of a Mid Life crisis really.I dont want to look back and go,"Gosh,what have i done?" and the voice at the back of my head whispers,"Nothing interesting that is worthy of remembrance."Life is so short.Why cant we just live on Pluto,which takes over 200 years for a full orbit around the sun.At least life will seem a lot longer,Pluto time.You life for a hundred years and you go,"Wait,we are not halfway around the sun yet?Damn,ive got a whole lot of time to do whatever i want!"Time is money,as Donald Trump said.Well,time is happiness and i dont intend to waste it.

Song of the Moment---Icecream by Sarah Mclachlan