Of the Life on Pluto
Its the 29th of September,which marks a month to Dudley's birthday,a month after DeeHui's birthday,and three month after my own.Well,everybody happens to have birthdays on the 29th of a month,which is why i remembered.Haha.Oh well,read on Dud's blog about how his 18 years old life on this planet wasnt actually well spent.Well,i have to concur reluctantly.Not that i agree with the fact that he wasted his 18 years of life whatsoever,but i feel that im in the same state as he is.

18 years old.Thats supposed to be a milestone of some king isnt it.I mean,people are always talking about the things you can do when you are 16,18,21 and so on.When you are 16 you get to watch NC-16 movies and you think you are invincible at the cinemas.You can walk into Monster Cue without being stopped on weekdays,and that makes you feel like the king of the cue.When you are 18 you can drink,you can club,you can learn to drive and watching M-18 movies are no longer a hindrance.With that liberty presented to you at a mere and tender age of 18,do i really need to mention what freedom you get when you are 21?Oh well,its weird how so much liberty is given to us,yet we feel so hollow in our lives.So little is being accomplished,and yet the opportunities are infinite.

Im 18,and looking back at my childhood days,those were the days of bliss.Nowadays you have stress from exams,stress from exams,stress from Project Work(Applies for Amenda),stress for a whole lot of things that you might not even have thought about when you were sitting on the floor banging two HotWheels cars together and getting the adrenaline rush after seeing them fall apart.Those were the days when "Stressed" meant "Desserts" spelled backwards,when your parent's consoles actually meant something.Not that it doesnt mean anything now,but they have much lesser and insignificant effect on you.Well,at least for me.Those childhood days went by slowly for me,and i was unwilling to change.When you were in that comfortable a place,with boxes of toys under your bed and icecream without your reach in the fridge its hard to let that part of life go just like that.As a result,i never really pursued what i wanted in life.Oh well,not that i knew what i wanted anyway.After all,i was a kid.Some Secondary School kids might think that they are big enough to take care of themselves yada yada,but in truth they are not.I thought i was,but now that i look back at myself i couldve given that "Me" a tight slap across the face."You dont know nothing about life."

I have to say that i like myself now.Well,mentally anyway.I like what i like to do,which is playing music,writing music,writing poems,books,watching movies and stuff.All those only started blossoming at the beginning of my 17th year on Earth,which makes me wonder what in the world have i been doing for the past 16 years?Sucking on my thumb and drooling on my handkerchief?It was a stress-free and free life,even with all the restrictions of age,but ive wasted all that away.Sometimes,i wish i started playing guitar a little earlier so that i can be better now.I wish that Ive read more books back in Secondary School so i can write better,or at least on par with Timothy(Let's admit it,his blog entries are always interesting).Kudos to you on that,mate.I wish i started doing a lot of things that i only start doing last year.Well,i guess the incident with me and "her" really changed me as a person.The overview and outlook on life seriously changed for me,and i only hope that that happened a little earlier.Perhaps i wouldnt feel that the past 16 years were a waste.Of course,one's childhood shouldnt be burdened with stress or whatever.But then again,i like to be stressed about what i like.Stressed that i cannot play a certain riff of a song,stressed that i cannot continue on to the next chapter of my book,stressed that i have no inspiration for the next verse of a song.The truth is,stress is good only when its based upon what i like to do.

Oh well,enough of my endless ramblings.I really dont want to end up like Warren Schmidts from "About Schmidts" which is one of my favorite movies of all time.Fantastic movie.Warren Schmidts is a man in his 60s,and he is depressed about his life.His wife is getting on his nerves every single day,his daughter is about to get married to the wrong man,and the discovery of his wife having an affair with his best friend depressed him further.So when he failed to stopped his daughter's wedding,he goes back home and sits at his table.The truth is,we humans are so small a thing in this universe.We are so puny as compared to the infinite stars out there.How do we make ourselves significant enough to be known and recognised by this small community of people we call "Human"?As Warren Schmidt enters his house,he looks around the empty living room and corridors and goes:

"I know we're all pretty small in the big scheme of things, and I suppose the most you can hope for is to make some kind of difference, but what kind of difference have I made? What in the world is better because of me?"

The truth is,i dont think anybody is better off because of me in the past 18 years.Well,some say that as long as you are happy,you are the happiest man in the world.But i dont think im happy.At least not before i started knowing what i like to do.Its like a line from Goo Goo Dolls' song called "Name".It goes(Sing along with it Krishna):

"Dont it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are?"

So from right now,its best to live life to the fullest.Life is short.It really is.In five or ten years' time,you are going to be working.Married.Have kids.Pay income tax.Corporate tax.Then when you are 40,you are going to be bored.Lonely.Sick of Marriage.Kids' puberty.Balding.Wrinkles.Spots.The typicality of a Mid Life crisis really.I dont want to look back and go,"Gosh,what have i done?" and the voice at the back of my head whispers,"Nothing interesting that is worthy of remembrance."Life is so short.Why cant we just live on Pluto,which takes over 200 years for a full orbit around the sun.At least life will seem a lot longer,Pluto time.You life for a hundred years and you go,"Wait,we are not halfway around the sun yet?Damn,ive got a whole lot of time to do whatever i want!"Time is money,as Donald Trump said.Well,time is happiness and i dont intend to waste it.

Song of the Moment---Icecream by Sarah Mclachlan

Song of the Day:
Angels or Devils by Dishwalla



This is the last time,
That I'm ever gonna come here tonight.
This is the last time I will fall,
Into a place that fails us all inside.

I can see the pain in you.
I can see the love in you.
But fighting all the demons will take time.
It will take time.

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever,are we ever gonna learn to fly?
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down?
Come around?
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold.

This is the last time,
That I'm ever gonna give in tonight
Are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear to see.



Still I can see the pain in you.
And I can see the love in you.
And fighting all the demons will take time.
It will take time.

The angels they burn inside for us
Are we ever are we ever gonna learn to fly?
The devils they burn inside of us
Are we ever gonna come back down?
Come around?
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us.

If I was to give in,
Give it up and then
Take a breath.
Make it deep.
Cause it might be the last one you get
Be the last one that could make us cold.
You know that they could make us cold.

I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold.

Of "UlcerDay"
Ever wondered what do the names of the days of a week mean?Well,allow me to provide you with two types of definitions.One way is to explain through a method which is partially used in Portuguese and Russian.

English Portuguese Russian Meaning of Russian name
Monday segunda-feira ponedelnik After "do-nothing"
Tuesday terça-feira vtornik Second
Wednesday quarta-feira sreda Middle
Thursday quinta-feira chetverg Fourth
Friday sexta-feira pyatnitsa Fifth
Saturday sabado subbota Sabbath
Sunday domingo voskresenye Resurrection

Alternatively,most Latin-based languages connect each day of the week with one of the seven "planets" of the ancient times:Sun,Moon,Mercury,Venus,Mars,Jupiter and Saturn.French,for example,uses:

English French "Planet"
Monday lundi Moon
Tuesday mardi Mars
Wednesday mercredi Mercury
Thursday jeudi Jupiter
Friday vendredi Venus
Saturday samedi Saturn
Sunday dimanche (Sun)

It is interesting to note that also some Asiatic languages (for example, Hindi, Japanese, and Korean) have a similar relationship between the week days and the planets.
English has retained the original planets in the names for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. For the four other days, however, the names of Anglo-Saxon or Nordic gods have replaced the Roman gods that gave name to the planets. Thus, Tuesday is named after Tiw, Wednesday is named after Woden, Thursday is named after Thor, and Friday is named after Freya.

Why did i say all those?Well,in a way its pretty interesting to know about these origins.After all,its one of those useless facts one can attain that can actually impress others."Hey,did you know?" kinda question that can make youself seem articulate and intellectual.Anyway,i'd like to add another "Day" to that list.Ulcerday.Doesnt that sound like a day in a week to you?Of course,we'd have to increase the number of days in a week to eight if we were to do that.Anyhow,i felt like today was the "UlcerDay" instead of a "lundi","segunda-feira","ponedelnik",or simply put,Monday.It was more like UlcerDay,and here's why.

Well,everybody gets ulcers.At least its in the genes of my family.Everybody gets ulcers all the time.I should be thankful that its not some life threatening diseases.Anyway,besides me having a huge ulcer on my lower lips today,it felt like the whole day was a big ulcer in my life.You know sometimes you know that its bad to lick your ulcer,since it only make matters worse.However,you cannot help it because its always there to bug you,and you tend to lick it all the time.Yes,after getting back my bloody papers i was too numb to say much.I simply sat at my seat and closed my eyes(Other than the occasional "Into the Space" Stares).Was it really bad?Well,Im not sure about Econs,but Geography and Maths were really bad.I dropped two grades for Geography,and that really sucks.Although i dont see anybody getting higher than me other than Samantha,but it still sucks to have dropped two full grades.Yes,as Mr Ng said,Prelims tend to be a lot harder,and the grades then to be lower than before.But i wonder how the students are supposed to be prepared and motivated for the big As after this.And they call the Prelims a "Preparation".What an unsuitable usage of vocabulary.Maths,i improved.Surprisingly.But then again,how do you get a lower grade than the rock bottom result i had for maths during the Mids?Though i attained my 100% improvement,it was still not enough.Considering how everybody,or rather most of the people,were pretty satisfied with their results.At least the people around me were the PowerHouses.

Oh well,like an ulcer,licking on in consistently isnt going to help it heal.Therefore,instead of thinking about my bloody results those papers are staying in my bag forever until i find a suitable location to destroy them.They just remind me of how "Stupid" i am sometimes.How much time ive wasted for such a bad result.I mean,its not like i didnt try.Obviously those late afternoons and evenings in the library didnt bloody help.Well,it did.But everybody else did better.So what is the freakin' use.Its like on the running tracks.Your opponent was 2 times faster than you now,and you train and train so that the next time you run you'd beat him.You train till your legs are able to bring you 10 times faster than your opponent's previous record.You are happy for a while,until you realise that you opponent just bought the all new sports shoes with rockets installed.I mean,what is the use to improve now then.Lose by a mark,losing by 50 marks,its losing.Yeah,they say its not a competition amongst your friends,but between yourself.Of course they say that.But when the big As come who gives a rats ass how long you ran?They care about where you reached.Thats the only thing they care about.

Im sure most of my friends have better fates than myself.After all,i am not the academically inclined ones amongst my friends.Its tragic to be in my state at my age.I mean,isnt the grades the most important things now than anything else?Lets admit it,without the grades,you get nothing.You are basically nowhere and nobody.At least right now,you are not.

Dont you just hate Ulcerdays.They make you feel stupid all over again.Ulcerdays,what a pain in the ass.Or should i say,lips?

Song of the Moment---Your Body is a Wonderland by John Mayer (Since i just learnt the song on my guitar)

Of the Party before the Funeral
So comes the end of the "5 Day Total Relaxation and Retardation".Oh well,was it fruitful?Not exactly.But then again,i sure had a good sleep.Haha.That "Mental Recharge" sure was fruitful though.Anyway,tomorrow shall prove to be my burial day.My funeral.The day my morales are going to fall into the deepest pits and the darkest abyss.Well,im talking about the papers that are going to be distributed tomorrow.Though no words of any papers being given back tomorrow,i half guessed it anyway.I mean,i dont think the teachers take that long to mark the papers right?

Anyway,yesterday evening after dinner,i took a bus to Krishna's house for a stayover,again.Yes,so whats wrong with three guys under one roof and playing cards into the night.After all,i am only getting used to sharing a bunk full of fellow male counter parts.Anyway,the bus driver of bus 158 should really consider an alternate career other than driving a bus.Perhaps driving a speed boat out at sea.After all,the SBS bus is not a Formula One race car and the streets are definitely not the race tracks.Yes,please do get to my destination as soon as possible,but i never asked you to fly over bumps and turn sharp corners till the passengers are having their stomach tossed around soo much that they are ont he verge of puking.I was trying to read a book on the bus,since the trip the Krishna's place is extremely long(From one end to another).Anyway,so the bus jerked left and right,up and down,and as i was sitting at the back of the bus i felt like puking.Samuel on the other hand,was comfortably reading his comics.Oh well,an empty stomach of his certainly helped.

We reached his place,and was forced to say hi to Krishna's auntie.Well,i never liked her.Especially after the stories Krishna told us about her.Just a plain bitch to me,and i actually forced a smile at her.Yeah,i really did.I deserve a bloody cash prize of 1 million dollars for that.Anyway,special thanks to Krishna for providing a bed and BLANKETS this time.At least i know that i wont freeze to death like i did the last time.We surfed the computer for a while,taught him how to play a riff from "Name",and we even did Maths.Yeah,maths.Well,CJC's Prelim Maths papers are so easy its like our tutorial papers.Which explains the As he's been getting(Damn you!Damn you!).We watched a little "Friends",and that was hilarious.Here's a part of the conversation which i vaguely remember.

Rachel,"Yeah,this bag is unisex."
Joey,"Unisex?"
Rachel,"Yeah,U-N-I sex?"
Joey,"Oh Rachel,you only needed to ask."

So there we were in the middle of the night laughing our heads off.We played cards and ate a whole bunch of tibits.Bathing at his place was a blessing,since it felt a lot like a spa.Though the quietness around his house can be a little too creepy a times(His house is sound proof,so you dont hear cars or neighbours whatsoever).I read a book before i slept under the dimly lid room,which might have led to the sore eyes i had in the morning.Great.

Ulcers,dont you just hate those.I feel like naming them after my tutors,especially after i recieving their naggings tomorrow."See this?This is YOU!".Oh well,i hate ulcers.I woke up in te morning and felt a really big one on my lower lips.It didnt hurt that much,but the tempation of licking it was great.After watching half of the dreadful "The Godfather" we headed down to eat Burger King.By the way,the movie was alright.It just dragged.After 1 and a half hours it felt like Ben Hur.The Mushroom Swiss was great.In fact,better than usual.Why?Because that shopping centre was about the close down,and the whole placed resembled a ghost town.Not a lot of people buying things from that Burger King branch,which meant faster and hotter food.So you can imagine the cheese melting on the mushrooms and meat.Oh my god.

We got back,and played Scrabble again.Call me the "Scrabble King"!154 points man.And thats no joke.Plus the "Weird" Taitee game we played afterwards was really fun.Im not sure how to describe the rules,but its unlike the conventional TaiTee we play.Lesser cards,lesser skills,more fun.To me anyway,since i win more often.We had a bet that the loser will be spanked in the ass by a duster.Haha(Things that boys do).Well,Samuel was the "Weird TaiTee Loser" in the end,and guess who had the honor?*Points at myself*.Sad that we had to leave early because Krishna had to attend church.Oh well,that damn 158 trip driver should be cursed again.I think i hopped onto the wrong bus again.My god.Imagine the odds.

Thanks Samuel and Krishna for the wonderful party before my funeral tomorrow.Perhaps i should bury myself deep this time.Let the worms consume me and allow me to disintegrate.Oh,and to that special someone that messaged me,im going to message you soon.Im unhinging.Haha.You know who you are.

Quotes of the Day:
Weilien,"Hey,ive been dreaming about Earthquakes man.I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel my bed shaking."
Krishna,"Eh,me too."
Samuel,"Yeah,me too."
Weilien,"Your's is exorcism Samuel."

Samuel,"Are we going to Krishna's house or your house?"
Weilien,"His."
Samuel,"Huh,a bit far right?"
Weilien,"Well you said your house is haunted,and coming to my house is a lack of variety.What choice do we have?The 7th month is over and your house is still haunted.The ghost must be yourself."
Samuel,"Yeah its over,but Halloween is coming."

Weilien,"How many cards do you have?"
Samuel,"How many do you have?"
Weilien,"I asked you first."
Samuel,"Eight."
Weilien,"Wait let me count."
[Counts the cards]
Weilien,"Seven!"

Weilien,"Is it expired?"
Samuel,"Look for the expiry date."
Weilien,"Yeah,im looking."
Samuel,"Give it to me.You dont know anything about food."
[Samuel searches for a long time and couldnt find the expiry date]
Weilien,"Knows a lot about food huh?"

[Krishna burps after some cookies,but it sounded like he was humming]
Weilien,"Was that a burp or was that you humming?"
Krishna,"That was a Humming-Burp(Humming Bird)."

Samuel,"Ronald Susilo has a nice smile."

Song of the Moment---Angels or Devils by DishWalla

Of Hibernation

Definition for Hibernation:
hi.ber.nate
intr.v. hi.ber.nat.ed, hi.ber.nat.ing, hi.ber.nates

1.To pass the winter in a dormant or torpid state.
2.To be in an inactive or dormant state or period.

n 1: the torpid or resting state in which some animals pass the winter 2: cessation from or slowing of activity during the winter; especially slowing of metabolism in some animals 3: the act of retiring into inactivity; "he emerged from his hibernation to make his first appearance in several years."

As some of you may already know,im currently following my so called "Hibernation TimeTable".It involves the length of time everyday when i will be hibernating.Well,im not exactly in a winter country.In fact,the country where i am at now is situated a few degrees to the North of the Equator 24/7.So why am i hibernating?

1.Men are animals.We need to hibernate too.
2.I turn on the air conditioning to stimulate a winter country.
3.Sleeping is good for your body.
4.Dreaming opens up possibilities for imaginations and blog entry ideas.
5.I wont get a lot of chances for sleeping from now till the As.
6.Im tired.
7.Im very very tired.
8.Im better off dead.

Anyway,so i sleep half the day away and stay up till really late at night.I dont know why,but the day seems to be turning itself upside down for me.I dont even know when my day begins and when it ends nowadays.I know thats bad.They say that staying up late is bad for your body,but who cares.People have fun drinking or partying,while i have fun sleeping.Isnt it amazing that i am still as thin as a bamboo after all that eating and sleeping?It might be envious to some,but i guess the part of the genes from my father did not pass on to me(Thank god).Therefore,my hours awake are short,and those times are taken up by computers,TVs,guitars,eating.Well,i call that "Absolute Relaxation and Retardation"(Retardation in this case means an abnormal slowness of thought or action).Aside from some emo feelings at night which i always get,im basically recieving everything that comes to me without processing it.Yeah,i feel like a dead corpse.But the weird thing is,im lovin' it.

There are so many things i want to do after the As.Finish my book,which has been left aside for school work.Perhaps i should type a script,which is much more efficient and requires less skills.I want to travel the world.Fine,maybe i havent got the time,but at least one country outside Singapore.This place is making me grow moulds so thick its spoiling every mower i bought.I want to write enough songs for a CD.Not that i want to burn a CD and sell it or whatever.I just want a reasonable target,and the number of songs in an average CD seems rational.Of course,continue to type lots of blog entries(I love typing blogs.Its almost like im typing a book that has no end).I want to jam with my friends,possibly with the band again(The Locomotohomomonos).When i say "Jam" i mean "JAM".Anything other than those are just optional.There,ive said it.Goals?I wont consider them goals.In fact,i hate to call them goals.After all,goals are dreams(But dreams are not goals),and how often do dreams come true?I prefer to call them "Things To Do".Anyhow,before the As are here,and before the intense studying starts again,i shall continue my Hibernation Timetable,and follow it with discipline.Goodnight.

Song of the Moment---Out of my Head by Fastball

Of the Blink 182 Song
Day One of my Hibernation.Due to my sister's endless screaming of how mom didnt wake her up this morning for a date she has with her friends i was woken up at 10am,which really is a lovely hour(That was sarcastic in nature,by the way).Had more sleep at 4pm and slept all the way.Before that i had a chat with WeiJing(Yes Krishna,she talked to me.Not the other way round.It wouldve been really weird to just close her window and stuff).So we talked for a while and she asked me about that 'splinter' question.Or should i say,the person that reminds me of that splinter.Well,its not her fault to mention it anyway.After all,she's ill-informed.So i told her about how bad things have turned out,how 'wrong' the situation is right now.Its irreversible,and she asked if i am angry for the fact that she did all those to me.Angry?No.Im angry for not being angry i guess.I dont know.I really dont know right now.

She actually made a valid point when we talked.Dont laugh Krishna,i know you are.She said that when a girl tries too hard to be a friend of another and fails,then she'd avoid that person altogether.Which means this 'blockage' i am recieving now actually has no meaning to it.Its merely a way to keep me out of her life for no apparent reason.Was that even a logical explaination to this whole situation?I dont know,it seems right i guess.I mean,it seems like what girls would do.Childish,irrational,irresponsible actions.Well,just sometimes.Never really considered how it might caused damage to another one way or another.At least dont make it so obvious,right?

Well,today's entry will be nice and short.Nothing fanciful.Im not in the mood for it anyway.Allow Blink 182 to sing you my woes.Well,i can relate to this song a lot.Really.Great track.Check it out on your right.Its down the list.;) Its a question i want to ask as well.Anybody who has a definite answer.But who knows better than herself?I cant even ask you.But,what went wrong?

What Went Wrong?
By Blink 182

I'm sick of always hearing,
All those sad songs
On the radio.
All day,it is there to remind,
An over sensitive guy,
That he's lost and alone.

Yeah,I hate our favourite restaurant.
Our favourite movie.
Our favourite show.
We would stay up all through the night,
We would laugh and get high
And never answer the phone

I can't forgive.
Can't forget.
Can't give in.
What went wrong?
'Cause you said this was right?
You fucked up my life.

I'm sick of always hearing,
Sappy love songs,on the radio.
This place,
It's fuckin' cursed its plague
And I can never escape.
When my heart it explodes.

I can't forgive.
Can't forget.
Can't give in.
What went wrong?
'CauseYou said this was right?
You fucked up my life.

I'm kicking.
How fiercely at the world around me.
What went wrong?[x5]

Of the Nightingale
There,the Prelim ended.It certainly ended off with a bang.Well,usually an ending with a "Bang" means that the ending was particular exciting or fulfilling.Well for this Prelims,it wasnt.The "Bang" i mentioned was actually the sound of bullet flying out of the gun barrel as i shoot myself to death.Yes,i am pretty suicidal right now.

Well,like i said before those few papers were fine with me.Not that they were easy,or i had any hopes in it whatsoever.But at least i gave it my best shot.Well,it might have missed completely and shot backwards altogether but hey,i knew i pulled the trigger as hard as i could.The Economics paper was fine actually.I know i didnt write enough,but i really ran out of points to write.To say that i did the best i could wouldnt be a lie.I did.Yesterday was the Economics Paper 1 and 2.Well,there were surprisingly easy.But then again,you know Economics works.If you think you did well,you will do ok.If you think you did ok,you are screwed.If you think you are screwed,you are very very screwed.Thats how it works for me anyway.Yesterday's paper was somewhere between the first and the second.Well,not so bad isnt it?Hope so.Then it came the Geography Paper 2 and Maths Paper 2 today.Well,i hadnt have time to study for Geography Paper 2.Well,i think i was the only one who found the paper extremely difficult.That was a good trick Kim Teck,you got us all.Since i never studied anything about Esther Bioserup i gave up on that Essay Question.The problem comes:The other two options are Industrial Geography and Urban Geography,which i did not touch at all.Well,i did study population per se,but i did not touch the Malthus or Boserup parts.Yay.Therefore i ended up screwing up the Urban Geography question as well as the Tourism question,which i only start studying yesterday night.

Bang.

Anyway,so after the paper i didnt whine much.Well,i did.But lesser than usual anyway.Took some time to study outside the LT for the maths exam coming up before Ahmad mat me.We headed to the Grand Stand to study afterwards,and boy was it hot(No,not him.Please).Was i holding much hope for the maths exam?No.Well,since Paper 1 wasnt that well done i figure:Screw it.I was tired of studying anyway.I hadnt talked to Ahmad for a while actually.So we started talking about Maths,his papers,my papers,and the jamming session we promised after our Prelims(His will end tomorrow).It started pouring at about 12nn,and to be honest the Grand Stand was awesome with the little droplets of rain hitting your face.Well,i did get a few equations into my head,but to say that i was prepared for the exam would be the upmost lie.

The maths exam was tough.At least the Section A was REALLY tough.Thank god i wasnt the only one who thought that.Nisah shared the same number of questions answered(Thank god).During the test i immediately skipped to Section D and started scribbling away.Those questions at the back were surprisingly easy.Fine,i skipped a few questions.But so what?I thought the one i could do was easy.Anyway,so i managed to write about 70% of the questions.Now,thats an achievement.I didnt even write as much for the test earlier on this term.Oh well,so i went back and forth between sections for the rest of the time.It started pouring again,and i suddenly remembered Sam's reminder from behind,"Dont get Emo."Haha.Well Sam,im not sure if getting suicidal is considered being "Emo" or not,but i was definitely feeling suicidal.Oh,and stupid as well.But then again,thats what exams are for isnt it.To either make you feel superior over the others or make yourself feel extremely stupid.In which case,i felt the latter.

I spent the last 15 minutes looking out into the fields really.The rain reduced itself into a soft drizzle and you could see birds hopping around on the field looking for Earthworms to eat(At least i think thats what they were doing).Then i started thinking how nice it wouldve been to be a bird.To live a bird's life.You wont have problems at all,and i dare say that they dont feel stupid about themselves when they see maths equations and more maths equations.Wonders maybe,but not stupidity.And when they dont like this certain place,they fly away.Of course,if you want to be a bird you would have to tolerate the taste of Earthworms.Anyway,i was praying for the rain to continue till the exams are over.Well,and it did.I walked down the Grand Stand and into the pouring rain.Well,i should cleanse myself really.I mean,i feel dirty and stained by the exams.So enclosed and restricted.

Definition of Nightingale:
night.in.gale n.
1.A European songbird (Luscinia megarhynchos) with reddish-brown plumage, noted for the melodious song of the male at night during the breeding season.
2.Any of various other nocturnal songbirds of the genus Luscinia.

If i am a bird,or at the least compared to one in an analogy,i would want to be a Nightingale.Well,why not anyway.I am a nocturnal animal anyway.I think sleeping at 4am on weekends and 1am on weekdays qualifies me for that part.I am a male,and i like to sing.So what more do i want?(Though i dont have reddish-brown plumage,or the melodious sound i make).Most of all,i would like to fly away from here.So far away that i wont have anymore troubles that lingers with me.Well,at least i wont feel stupid when i see something i dont know.There's a particular thing i like about birds.This innocence they have when they look at you.Sharp,yet filled with wonder.Well,birds include the ones that flies,not chicken.Chicken looks at you and say,"Dont chop off my neck."Geez,that sounded so much like me pleading for mercy on my knees before the word "Mathematics".Oh well,a Nightingale is nice.Very nice.That innocence it has upon the world.Instead of feeling stupid about yourself,you wonder and you ponder like a child.When you are bored,just fly up into that tree at night when nobody's around and sing.To sing before an audience that is not there,to care not about the applause,and gain satisfaction by doing what you love.Sometimes,that doesnt sound so bad at all.After all,being a nocturnal songbird,nobody listens at night.You are alone in your show,and the world is your stage where everything's asleep.You dont care about anything anymore.Just sing yur lungs out.So innocent and so free of doubt.A Nightingale...

Song of the Moment---What am I to You? by Norah Jones

Songs of the Day:
Come Away With Me and Shoot the Moon by Norah Jones

Come Away With Me



Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With their lies

I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won't you try to come

Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you

And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

Shoot the Moon



The summer days are gone too soon
You shoot the moon
And miss completely
And now you're left to face the gloom
The empty room that once smelled sweetly
Of all the flowers you plucked if only
You knew the reason
Why you had to each be lonely
Was it just the season?

Now the fall is here again
You can't begin to give in
It's all over

When the snows come rolling through
You're rolling too with some new lover
Will you think of times you've told me
That you knew the reason
Why we had to each be lonely
It was just the season...

Of a Dog,a Box of Chocolates and a Lamp Post
Initially,i typed an entry concerning this "Standstill" that Ive been feeling.I feel as if im in a daze nowadays,unwilling to do certain things that are supposed to be done.Or in a neutral situation that might be better off if i fall either way.Oh well,my computer hung and i had to close Windows Explorer.Which means,that entry is now gone and will never see the light of day.I thought that entry was cool.Oh well,got to deal with the consequence and type a new one.

Being a hot day out and all,nothing seemed right.Your skin seem to melt and merge with the sofa when you watch the television,and when you just sit on your bed your butt feels wet and moist.I was literally melting,and the only thing i thought of that might help me get away from this heat was to turn on the air con and take a good nap.And so I did.

Its amazing how much things go through a human mind before they go to sleep.I wonder how someone can actually fall asleep after thinking through so many things that happened before you close your eyes.I guess nowadays,thats the only time when you find peace within your mind,when you can really calm down and think about the goods and the bads,the ugly and the beautiful things that happened throughout the day.And as for me,i call it the "PreSleep Thoughts".In fact as most might already know,some of the materals you see here comes from those so called "PreSleep Thoughts",and this entry is no exception.

What is my relationship with a her?Or perhaps female in general?Well,of course im not talking about the relationship between me and my mother,or the relationship between me and my neighbour's female dog Lucky.It is the "Likings" kind of relationship i am talking about.Oh well,"PreSleep Emotional Thoughts" might be how this came about.

This relationship can be explained through a simple analogy.It resembles the relationship between a dog and a lamp post.A dog comes around the corner to find the perfect lamp post to dump his load,if you know what i mean.He sniffs and he sniffs,and he finds this perfect lamp post that is not yet taken by other stray dogs.With tears in your eyes you bow to the lamp post,lift your left hind leg and you pee on the foot of the lamp post.After your business is done,you shake up a little and walks away.After some time you return to this same lamp post where you first marked your territory and you do your business again.Well,to allow the smell to retain(Gosh,that was a vivid description.I mightve been a dog in my past life).Everytime you leave,you come back for more.Sometimes when you feel like marking your territory somewhere else,there's always something about this lamp post that brings you back to it.The weirdest thing is,its always there along on the streets alongside other lamp posts,shining brightly in the night and lonely in the day.Foolishly,you go back there all the time.This lamp post has been stained by you a million time,but you dont seem to care.Because your urge and your stubborness seems to prevail in this tug of war in the head.

I know its been some time since everything ended.You know,how long its been since that incident happened.In a way,that lamp post seems to be that incident and i am revisiting this incident over and over again."Why?" is the question i ask myself all the time.Why do i always have to dig up the past?Dig up the past,and all you get is dirty is what they always say.But as for me,this urge of living in that past seems to be pushing me ever forward to that time machine in my head.The "What?" question then surfaces.What would i have done if i were to do this and that.Perhaps never done that or this.And you know why i ask?Because you never told me why.I know somehow that every time i go back to the lamp post,i leave stain in your life.For some reason,thats how i feel.I mean,why would you block me from your MSN if i hadnt stained you before?Its only too obvious for me,but frequently denied.

Perhaps this stray dog should stray somewhere else.The next lamp post in the next street,the next town,the next city,or maybe the next country.But that shiny lamp post always seems to be the best place to be.As a stray dog,you dont know how much warmth you are giving every night when its cold outside.But to you,its just what you are and who you are.Nothing's particularly worth celebrating about,but to me its a little bit of warmth subconsiously.

It all feels like a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day.And as for me,no box of chocolates at my doorstep whichever way i fall.In or out of love.Isnt it sad to realise that when you are in a standstill it makes no difference to change?When you are in a neutral state of mind,there's no desire to move?So you stand idle in the middle of the crossroads and wonder why there are so many paths and so many roads that i might possibly take.Being idle,and being in a standstill might no necessarily be a bad thing.Sometimes,someday,you would wake up like me.To be in a blank and idle state of mind,and stare out into nothingness.Being jaded about who you are and what you are and go into a standstill.Perhaps then you'd realise,"Hey,being in standby mode might not be so bad afterall."

Well painted passion,
You rightly suspect.
Impersonation,
The dumbing down of love.
Jaded in anger,
Love underwhelms you.
No box of chocolates,
Whichever way you fall...
---The Dumbing Down of Loveby Frou Frou

Song of the Moment---Meet Virginia by Train

Of the Grey Hue
What a sleepy afternoon it is.Someone must have left the bottle cap opened for the grey paint and strewned a beautiful splatter of grey over the world today.Looked outside that window and everything's the same,with a grey hue added to them.A lazy feeling crawled up my spine as the notes laid out before my eyes.

Today i had the Maths paper,and god was it bad or what?But then again,i have to tell myself that as long as i score an O its more than a 100% improvement.Which means,i might just get myself in the Hall of Fame for Value-Addedness.Hey,you never know.Well,its a form of self-comforting i must say.After all,no use crying over it.I must say though,that i did my best for the questions which i had the slightest idea of how to attempt.And as for the questions i didnt know?It had stupidity written all over it.Of course,the usual question of "Why are they setting such a difficult paper?" popped into my head.But this time was a little different than the Mids in the sense that,i actually had the will to fight on.I was singing "I Will Survive" while i did the last question.And hey,i finished the last question without a drop of sweat.Maybe they should allow students to bring Discmans into the exam venue.Hey,it is a form of motivation one way or another."Battle Music" i call it,and i cant live without it.

Its funny how your mood can be affected by the weather.Its one of those days when everything's in a standstill,and you just dont want to do anything.Well,save for respiratory actions in the body.So there i was with my Maclaurin Theory notes on my chest and back on the bed.Making senses out of the all dy/dx and f'(x)s.Of course,they made no sense.But the grey hue outside my window just affected me and said,"I dont give a shit." It really was the perfect excuse for not studying at all.Im burnt out anyway,but unlike SockKhim im still able to operate under normal circumstances.Their Prelims lasted for a month.A month!I called her the burnt out Mushmallow,which wasnt very far from the truth anyway.

A grey fog has been lingering around my head these days.I see it in the mirror all the time.Nisah too,when she asked if i was alright this morning during assembly.Do i look tired to you?Or am i just beginning to resemble a zombie?Perhaps both,but whatever it is it has got to do with the blurry feeling i have these days.Might be the smoke thats floating out of my ears that choking the senses out of me with every breath i take.I feel like i am doped,and i am enjoying this drug.This lethargic and lazy feeling of mine.In fact,i was so immersed in that feeling i woke up at 1pm yesterday."Wow,a new record." i said to myself as i crawled out of my bed.I sounded like Garfield didnt i.Well,i didnt crawl out of a box at the very least.

Well,the ranting stops.I wish this grey hue stays in Singapore for a while.I mean,its been too hot really.Too hot.Dont even bottle up this grey paint again.Its nice being dull and grey once in a while.It switches you off and drowns you in this world of greyness that never seems to release its grip on you back to that harsh blackness of reality.They say you see better in your dream than to imagine with your eyes opened when you are awake.I feel like i am dreaming with my eyes opened now,in this grey dreamworld.Dont go away.

Song of the Moment---Things Will Go My Way by The Calling

Of Denethor's Words
The armies of Mordor came with Seige Towers,wargs,trolls and 200 000 orcs to raze Minas Tirith to the ground.As they stood before the gates of Minas Tirith,the door opened and a horse rode through.The rider of the horse had his foot clinging onto the side of the horse,and was being dragged on the floor.The guards of the citadel rushed up to the body and exclaimed in shock.It was Faramir,son of the Steward of Gondor.They carried Faramir's body to the 7th level of Minas Tirith where he was met by his father,Denethor.With the lost of both his sons,Denethor was devasted and shouted,"My line has ended!".Pippin the hobbit rushed up to the body and examined Faramir for a while."He needs medicine my lord!".However,Denethor took no heed of this little hobbit from the shire,and strolled to the edge of the plateform.As he peered over the ledge,he saw columns after columns of orcs on the Fields of Pelennor,and his city beseiged.The orcs began their attack first by launching the "Prisoners" with their catapults into the city.The "Prisoners" hit the Gondorian soldiers straight on as they stood with their shields above their heads.What was initially harmless fires turned out to be human heads of Gondorian soldiers slayed in Osgiliath.The watch towers collasped under the impact of the rocks,and the soldiers watched helplessly as the outer walls were destroyed.

Upon seeing this,Denethor yelled from the top of the city,"Abandon your posts!Flee!Fear for your lives!"

Damn,after Economics i feel like obeying to the orders of Denethor.That Econs test i had just is forcing me to turn back and run for my life.It was really tough,and i found it hard just to choose three out of six questions avaliable.After eliminating i could only do two questions without much problems.Great.That doesnt mean i aced those question.I merely had points to write.Anyway,so there i was sitting amidst the Econs students,wondering if what i am writing makes any form of sense.You could tell that paper was much harder than usual papers.And you know what?I banked on Internation Trade and Government Policies.Nothing of the first part came out,and a small portion of the latter appeared.What the.This is the perfect example of "A Bloody Waste of Time".Anyhow,it was raining when i walked home.It was raining hard.It was one of those rain whereby the raindrops were so big it hurts when it explodes on your head.Yeah,ouch.As if the sky was crying for me.Had a good chat with Eric at the bus stop once more.Apparently he had the same problems with me.Banked on the wrong topics(He banked on Inflation and Internation Trade too).This sucks.We'll see.

The battle continues...

Song of the Moment---Home Life by John Mayer

Of Theoden's Words
It was late when the rumblings from far off could be heard.Dots of fires could be seen far off in the distance,with the sound of marching army flowing through the air like an endless wave of sound.The men of Rohan stood upon the watch towers and on Hornburg,and watched helplessly as the Uruk Hai army marched towards the keep.The elves lined themselves along the deepening wall and with Aragorn and Haldir in the lead,they had their bows ready.Men stared out into the darkness and the gathering rain clouds above,and soon enough it began to pour.The rain fell and splattered onto the armours of the soldiers.With every passing minute,the army of Isengard advanced ever forward into the dikes of Helm's Deep,and the men were dismayed.The Uruk Hai came with spears,and they came in broad shields.Groaning and chanting they advanced like a swarm of black clouds on the ground,ready to destroy the world of men.

The Uruk Hai captain climbed onto a rock in the midst of the army,and ordered the army to stop.So before the walls of Helm's Deep the army of Isengard stopped short.Then elves and men placed their arrows into the bows and got ready to shoot.The Uruk Hai then pounded the spears to the ground and started a awful chant that weakened the strongest warriors,but Aragorn stood firm.He drew his sword,and yelled to the elves,"Show no mercy to them!For you shall recieve none!".The pounding of the spears continued,until an old man released an arrow accidentally and shot an Uruk Hai in the neck.It collapsed to the ground,and ignited the war of Helm's Deep.

As the Uruk Hai army charged towards the wall of Helm's Deep,they came with spears and ladders and ready to breach the walls.The elves shot arrows after arrows at the advancing darkness,and they returned fire.Elves were killed,and more arrows were shot.

Then,upon the watch tower where Theoden,King of Rohan was,he said under his breath,"So it begins..."

Yes,exactly my thoughts about the Prelims.The above was my own little description of the build up to the Battle for Helm's Deep from The Lord of the Rings:The Two Towers which Ive watched a Gazillion times.The Uruk Hai army to me was the exam papers and the teachers who set the papers.The creatures of darkness,the enemies of the light,the ugly and the cruel ready to destroy the world of men,students.As we stand upon the walls,in this case sit on the chairs in the hall,we think about how hopeless and bleak things are getting before us.That blank piece of exam paper before you resembles the thousands of swords the Uruk Hai are carrying with them to put into your guts.Oh well,what a pain in the ass exams are.Now i wonder why they are even in existence.To eliminate the weak i guess."To destroy the world of men!" said Aragorn in Edoras.They are just a bunch of mindless enemies here to kill you.What the hell is happening to the world of education?

Yeah,you ask us to stand firm.But sometimes,its just impossible to do it.I mean,a few hundred men against ten thousand Uruk Hai?I dont think so.I dont think this time a "Forth Eorlingas" would help much Theoden.I dont even think Gandalf would make it in time to help you.This time,its the books and the notes that you read thats going to break the lines of Isengard.And you know what?Books are not enough to defend yourself against the swords and the spears.Basically,you are like a hobbit in Cirith Ungol.Or a hobbit in Shelob's Lair without Sting and the phial.Basically,you are dead hobbit meat baby.Exam sucks.Exam sucks.Exam sucks.The only difference between exams and the above account of the battle is the fact that the battle i saw on the film was actually "Cool".Bummer.

Song of the Day---Diary by Alicia Keys

Of The Terminal



There is a man who lives in the airport in Paris,and he's been living there for the past ten years.And the movie i watched today was in fact based on this man's life at the airport.The movie is yet another effort by Steven Spielberg to diversify from his usual big budget Hollywood movies like Jurassic Park and Saving Private Ryan,to a smaller production like Catch Me if you Can and this movie,The Terminal.This movie comes to show that Steven Spielberg can do both the big budget movies and the films on a smaller scale that deals with more human relationships and characters that we can relate to.

The movie is about a man,Viktor Navorski(Tom Hanks) from the Slavic country of Krakozhia's life at the airport.While he was on the plane from Krakozhia to the JFK airport in New York,there was a military coup in the country.The militants took over the government overnight and Krakozhia was no more.As Viktor arrives at the airport,he realises that his VISA was cancelled and he was no longer a citizen of Krakozhia,since the government was couped and the country was no longer recognised.Which means,until the United States of America recognises Krakozhia as a real country,Viktor is stuck in the airport and unaccepted on the American soil.Facing this problem,the head of the airport Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci) decides to allow Viktor to wander around the airport for a while,provided that he does not leave the gates of the airport.Viktor then began his journey and life in the airport by finding jobs to feed himself,making friends with the janitors,and meeting a beautiful air stewardess Amelia(Catherine Zeta Jones) whom he falls in love with.

The movie focuses on Viktor's life at the airport,and how he deals with the everyda problems.Food was a big problem for him,and he seeked ways and means to get himself a bite.One of the ways was to collect the carts at the airports and earning 25 cents as a reward for each cart collected.Then he helped the food delivery man to get the girl of his dreams.The movie is basically Viktor's life in the airport,and that aspect is indeed a wonderful and fascinating journey to the audience.How he learnt English,how he found his job,how he played poker for unclaimed lost and found items and so on.Also,using his skills of carpentry he managed to find a job and please Amelia,his love interest.

The Terminal has a very lighthearted dramatic feeling to it,as well as a pure comedy for the audience.There are scenes that made me laugh my guts out,as well as other scenes which were moving and touching.For example,the scene when Frank desperately tries to convince Viktor to be afraid of his country.You'd understand when you watch it,and Viktor's one word answer was hilarious.

Tom Hanks,as a double academy award winning for best actor,proved once again that he can deliver a great performance that elevates the whole movie.Viktor Navorski is a likeable guy,both by the characters in the movie and by the audience.He's innocence and he's positive outlook on life simply touched most of us.Due to his lack of understanding for English,he often mixes words up and misinterpretes sentences,which becomes the comic relief of the whole film.However,there are dramatic scenes such as the first time Viktor discovers that he was forced to stay in the airport.When he was detained by the airport police,he didnt know that the country was closed to him.So he kept asking Frank Dixon where to buy the Nike shoes,about Broadway,about New York and everything else.Basically,he had no clue what Frank was trying to explain to him initially until he was lead into the international waiting area by the police when he suddenly dawned on him."The United States of America is closed." said the police,and Viktor looked at the television mounted on stands.It was a news channel,and the news about Krakozhia's military coup was shown on television.Viktor then starts to panick and he runs around the terminal asking people for help.The saddest scene in the movie was when he was trying to call for home with this phonecard the police gave him,but didnt know how to you it.As he stood amongst the crowd begging for help,no one helped him at all.He held those luggages and papers in his hands,and went "Please.Please.Please."But no one offered their help.He then went upstairs and saw the news on tv once more,and cried behind the glass doors.That scene really got me,and i was telling Krishna how saw that part was.This was definitely one of Hanks' best works since Forrest Gump.

Other cast members were awesome too.Stanley Tucci being the villian of the movie was great,though a little overboard.After all,a movie like this must have a villian.The supporting cast like the janitors and the food delivery man provided lots of comedy,and subplots that allowed Viktor's character to grow.Kumar Pallana is the funniest of the three,with his indian accent and his circus act while Amelie and Viktor had dinner was amazingly funny.Catherine Zeta Jones was stunning in this movie,and she literally brightens up the whole movie.She was so pleasent to see on screen really,and you start to understand why Viktor had an affection for her.

I didnt like certain aspects of the movie.In fact,only one.The storyline with Viktor and Amelie were not closed properly,and i wouldnt consider it a happy ending.Most of all,i didnt understand why Amelie did what she did in the end.I will not spoil it for anyone here,but that subplot was left open-ended for the audience.The story also provided a twist concerning the reason for Viktor's arrival to America.That subplot is amazingly touching as well,and the secret lies in the peanut can that he holds around all the time.A hint for you guys:Jazz.Haha.Anyway,though i wouldnt consider that twist to be majoy enough to make a dead corpse flip in their graves,but i think it provides a conclusion to Viktor's character.

At the end of the day,people would definitely be satisfied with the movie.Its lighthearted and warming to watch on a Sunday afternoon with your family or friends.This is a must watch for the year,and is definitely recommended by me.

F.I love this movie.

Ratings:9/10

Quotes of the Day:
Frank Dixon,"You catch a small fish and unhook him very carefully. You place him back in the water, so that someone else can have the pleasure of catching him."

Frank Dixon,"Are you afraid of returning to your country?"
Viktor Navorski,"No."
Frank Dixon,"But aren't you afraid of something?"
Viktor Navorski,"I am afraid for,ghosts.Vampires.Wolf man.Sharks?"

Viktor Navorski,"One man.Two women.Crowded."

Amelia,"I have to go."
Viktor Navorski,"I have to stay."
Amelia,"The story of my life."
Viktor Navorski,"Me too."

[Watching Viktor build something on a wall they're supposed to be fixing]
Airport Construction Worker,"What's he doing?"
Karl Iverson,"I can't ask him what he's doing. I'm supposed to tell him what he's doing. I ask him what he's doing and I'm gonna look like an idiot."

Viktor Navorski,"He shit. Shit. Shit. Shit."
Enrique Cruz,"He shit? Oh! He cheats?"

Gupta Rajan,"I think he's CIA!"
Joe Mulroy,"You dont know what you are talking about.That guy doesnt even speak English."

Salchak,"I know you've been waiting for years for me to either drop dead or retire."
Frank Dixon,"No, I haven't been waiting for you to retire."

Amelie,"You headed for home?"
Viktor Navorski,"Er..No.I am er...Delayed.Long time."

Viktor Navorski,"Officer!My friend says that you are a stallion."
INS Agent,"What?"
Viktor Navorski,"Like a horse."
INS Agent,"Stand behind the yellow line!"

Man in the bathroom,"You ever feel like you're just living in an airport?"
[Viktor Navorski stares blankly at him for ten seconds.]

Brookstone Manager,"Do you live nearby?"
Viktor Navorski,"Yes,Gate 67."
Brookstone Manager,"Because we are very particular about punctuality.Did you say Gate 67?"

INS Agent,"Next.Let me ask you something Mr Navorski.Why do you wait here two hours everyday when Ive told you there's nothing i can do for you,and your new VISA will only arrive when your country is recognised by the United States?"
Viktor Navorski,"You,you have two stamps.One red,one green."
INS Agent,"So?"
Viktor Navorski,"So,i have chance to go New York,50-50."

Frank Dixon,"You are the kind of woman who can get any guys you want.Why Viktor Navorski?"
Amelie,"Thats something a guy like you,could never understand."
---"The Terminal"(2004)

Song of the Moment---My Girl by The Temptations

Song of the Day:
Comfortable by John Mayer



I just remembered that time at the market
Snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rolled down aisle five
You looked behind you to smile back at me
Crashed into a rack full of magazines
They asked us if we could leave

I can't remember
What went wrong last September
Though I'm sure you'd remind me
If you had to...

Our love was comfortable and so broken in...

I sleep with this new girl I'm still getting used to
My friends all approve,say "she's gonna be good for you."
They throw me high fives
She says the Bible is all that she reads
And prefers that I not use profanity
Your mouth was so dirty

Life of the party
And she swears that she's artsy
But you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane...

Our love was comfortable and so broken in
She's perfect.
So flawless.
Or so they say...
(Im not impressed)
(I want you back)

She thinks I can't see the smile that she's faking
And poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you.
Grey sweatpants.
No makeup.
So perfect.

[Chorus]

Of the Hypnotised Hate
I was having some late night chats with a friend of mine from Secondary School.He gave me his blog address and i read it,and he seemed to be extremely pissed off with this classmate of his.Well,to the extent that if you hand each of them a sword they'd probably fight till the last person standing.The truth is,they hate each other now,and would be willing to die just to see the other party die under his or her fists.Man,what in the world is happening?The oddest thing is,that he told me that he actually liked her.Haha.Doesnt this just sound like one of those cheesy soap dramas on Wednesday afternoons.

Wonder how anybody could do that really.Perhaps i am the only soul survivor in this world where emotions happens only in fairy tales.Oh well,whatever it is,i wonder if that emotionless way of treating things is right.After all,you wont have any regrets.Even if you do,you wouldnt blame yourself for doing such a thing.Everybody except for myself,seems to have a way to hypnotise themselves once they feel the need to do it.How i wish that everybody has that ability to hypnotise themselves.With a simple snap of the fingers and you'd forget who you are,where you are,what you did and turn into John Nash,the Schizophrenic Man."After i snap my fingers i shall be clever!" and then i'd really be clever.Well,at least for a moment anyway.In this case,i wish i could hate her for a while and see how it feels like.Oh well,just a thought.Perhaps i can wake up one day,sit at the edge of my bed and snap my fingers and go:

"I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
Not even close.
Not even a little bit.
Not even at all..."
(This poem was based on a woman's perspective,but its cool anyhow)

I want to forget,i want to leave.I want to be hypnotised,i want to be free.

"After you hear this snap of my fingers,you'd start to hate her."

*snap*

Ok,that didnt work...

Song of the Moment---Quiet by John Mayer

Of the Corpses and the Witch
So yesterday night,Krishna and Samuel came over for a overnight stay again.Well,it was Krishna's idea anyway.We wanted to head to Samuel's,since we havent stayed there yet and Krishna havent been there before.But Samuel claimed that his house was haunted,and thus we were not allowed to go.Well Samuel,if there were ghosts,it wouldve been scared off by you,or you wouldve pissed your pants a long time ago.Just admit that you dont want any trouble!Haha.Actually,he said that he's house is boring.Fine.I dont mind you guys here anyway.

So i got the mattresses ready and they came over at 10pm.Watched Friends,and honestly its not that funny anymore.Oh well,i'd watch it for the sake of watching it.After all,it is the final two episodes of the series.Sad,but true.Anyway,we watched that and went into my room to watch some "Whose Line is it Anyway?" videos that i downloaded.We had a lot of good laughts,and ended up rolling on the floor and begging for more.Damn,those guys from that show are bloody talented.Dont you just love that show?Having to improvise on the spot and come up with something funny.Man,thats got to be a tough job indeed.

We got our books out and did some studying.Well,we tried.But they fell into bed by 130am and were had their faces buried in the pillow like corpses.Due to the sensitivity of the month(The seventh),they looked especially haunting at night.Anyway,we talked a little about some personal things which i shall not reveal here.Nothing dirty,mind you.Haha.Wouldnt that be weird?By 2am i heard snorings coming from behind as i typed away on the keyboards.Well,i guess i am once again crowned as the Owl King.Undisputed champion of the "Staying Awake" championships.

I woke up at 9am with a slight headache.Well,they just woke up as well and were already studying.Anyway,i jumped right out of bed and started doing some maths too.Mom was so nice to by McDonald's breakfast for them,as well as a fabulous lunch.Haha.Bastards man.Krishna better buy pizza the next time i visit his house.I dont want weird sausage things anymore(Honestly,it wasnt my cup of tea)!

After that was my trip to the dentist after six months.I hate the dentist.She nags too much.In fact,she should put on that face mask and shut up.After all,face masks serve four purposes.Prevent your saliva from spitting everywhere,prevent mine from spitting into you,conceal your identity when you drill a wrong hole,and to shut the hell up.Well,you satisfied the first three but not the last.You might have got your degree with Dentistry at some university but HA!You just failed in sociology.

Anyway,she was clearly having a bad day.As i wanted for my X-Ray films to develop,she was scolding the secretary for not being organised.Well,the secretary's name is called Anne.She's probably in her mid twenties,and is such a sweet and nice person to everybody.Well,i havent see her in six months and she knows that i am in NanYang Junior College,and that i have a sister.I mean,my dentist was asking me if i am still in Secondary School."Welcome to 2004,bitch." i thought.Anyway,she's a really nice person in my opinion.Fine,she might have left out a procedure or two,but that is not going to blow up your equipment and send the building tumbling to the ground.As long as nobody is hurt,no properties are damaged,why the freaking temper?Well,women.Haha.So there i was sitting on the bench,while she was scolded at the counter.Anne was clearly unhappy with the fact that she was nagged in front of her clients,especially after working there since the beginning.Well,Anne might be the only reason why the trip to the office is bearable.Anne,you deserve a better boss.Get yourself out of there,please.That witch is haunting your life,and using hooks to express her anger on patient's gums!Why pull the long face when we are the ones who will be suffering,physically?Damn,shouldve asked if she was alright at the counter.But that witch was around all the time like a buzzing fly.Well,buzz off!

Glad to know that Mom's better now.Keep the diet up mom.:)

PS:Thanks Krishna and Samuel for a great night,and also the comments on the song i wrote.That was really flattering.Haha.

Song of the Moment---What Went Wrong by Blink 182

Of the Chain Wrapped Fingers
As you might already know,the seige in the school of Russia just ended a little over a day ago.Well,technically it ended anyway.The school's cleared out,majority of the terrorists killed,the survivors at the hospitals and home for the luckier ones.But i guess this incident lives on in everybody's lives after that.Reading reports online and watching them on the news is heartwrenching.I mean,what did the children do to deserve such a thing?Dont even think about the possibility that the children aided the Americans in the fight against terrorism because i would smash your head to the wall.I wonder what those terrorist bastards are thinking anyway.Yes you want your country to be free from the Russian government's rule,but are you going to make that process faster by killing innocent children and making the whole world hate you?What are you trying to accomplish here?If you are giving the excuse that this is your so called "Holy World" and that you are doing this for the Muslim community in this world,well then screw your bloody idea of a Muslim,because Im pretty sure Allah did not want you guys to go around shooting children.

Just read online that most of the dead children were found to be shot in the back because they were running away.The girls were raped by the terrorists and stuff(A Holy War huh.Right).So i was staring at the picture i uploaded below,with the necklace wrapped tightly around that woman's hand.Well,im assuming it belongs to a woman.Noticed how tightly the chain is wrapped around her fingers?How scared she was when she chanted her prayers under the guns of the terrorists,with her students raped and killed around her.Then you start to wonder and worry if she is still alive,if she's already dead,if she was shot,if she merely fainted,what was her family's reaction and so on.A teacher who survived it told the press that everybody was scared,and were chanting prayers under their breaths.Those who didnt know prayers were taught.I wonder if those prayers were answered at all.If that little metal cross in that woman's palms actually meant something,actually brought her closer to god,if god helped her at all.

I know i am thinking too much,but i guess this who thing is making me sick.After all,you start to question:Why?So many questions that are making the world such a perilous place to live in.I mean,why couldnt everybody just put down their swords and guns and be friends?Even if that's impossible,what did the kids do to you?Saw a lot of half or totally naked kids on ambulances on the news the other day,and i wonder what those innocent eyes saw.What poisoned their mind,and would probably remain in their memory and haunt them at night.Seeing their friends killed one by one all over again.

Its a sad world we are living in...

Seeing how tightly the chain was wrapped around her fingers,you start to wonder if she's dead.If she merely fainted.Maybe she's just stunned.Maybe she's long dead...

The prayers were not answered,despite the fact that the chain was wrapped around so tight...

So tight...

Song of the Moment---Come as You Are by Nirvana

Of the Prayers
Featuring "Imagine" by John Lennon



Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...



Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

Lets observe a minute of silence for those who were killed in Russia.

Of the Protruding Spring
It was showering outside when i got back from school.Well,not that i went to school anyway.Ahmad wanted his guitar back,and i had to walk through the rain with this huge over sized umbrella just to return the guitar.Not that i mind really,but problem was that when you have an umbrella that big its hard to control with just one hand,and i was short of that since i had the guitar in another.Anyway,so i got my feet drenched,but that's fine.Its nice to walk in the rain once in a while.Under the protection of the umbrella i just felt like waving my fingers to the sky with my thumb on the nose.The funny thing was when i walked pass people on the pavements,i actually had to raise the umbrella high enough for them to walk under mine.Well,that umbrella was meant for golfers anyway(Which explains the size).I looked ridiculous in that pouring rain with that King Kong size umbrella,with people looking at me thinking if i am allergic to rainwater."No,im allergic to stranger stares.Go away." i thought to myself.

Anyway,so i got home and rested on the bed for a while.Well,the weather and the sound is provocative for a good rest.What can i say?I live for the moment,and i like to enjoy myself.As most people might already know,my bed rocks.Not literally of course.In fact,its far from resembling a rock.Not hard whatsoever.Haha.Anyway,so there i was lying on my bed staring at the ceiling light wondering if i should just turn on the fan and fall into dreamworld.As my eyes slowly gave in to the slow creeping feeling of laziness i suddenly had a thought that flashed by.Imagined myself lying on my bed,and it being my current situation.Am i comfortable?I would say.Am i satisfied?I guess.Like the chinese saying,"There's always a higher mountain"(Which is clearly untrue).There's got to be a more comfortable bed out there.As a comfort seeking maniac myself,i'd follow my parents to IKEA everytime to shop for beds.Well,not that i change very often.I'd go when i get the chance anyway.So am i willing to change this bed for a new one?I mean,my current situation for another?Would i be willing to risk sleeping in a less comfortable?A little too soft,a tad bit too hard.After all,its all about risk taking.Thats business,isnt it?Oh well,i was having a talk with Samantha over the phone the other day,and we talked about this "Dilemma" that we both shared.Well,she didnt tell me hers and i didnt tell her mine.Like i said,it wouldve changed tides and the moon blown up.She kept asking,and i kept saying "No"(Sorry Sam,not going to say it here.Ever).

We all have dilemmas of our own.Choices we have to make and paths that we have to take.Alternatives that might not necessarily be a clear-cut,straight to the point kind of choice.Sometimes they might both be too dear to let go.Opportunity cost might be too high,in economical terms.Dilemma refers to a lot of things.To buy milk or eggs when you have three dollars left in your purse.To go fetch Grandpa from the airport of watch Bourne Supremacy first for Krishna's case,or to drink Coke or Pepsi when you open your fridge.I guess,we face dilemmas all the time,without us knowing it.Perhaps,we are all in a state of denial.After all,dilemma sounds like a disease,dont you think?Like Insomnia.Insomniacs would admit that they have insomnia,and would say "I have sleeping problems."Over weight people would say they have "Weight Problems" and not "Fat".As for myself,i am faced with a dilemma that is serious enough to alter a friendship if not treated well.Im STILL not going to say it Sam.Forget it.

I might just persuade my mother to go out and buy a new bed.Perhaps it might be a lot more comfortable than where i am now.But you never know it unless you sleep on it.And perhaps one night when you are rolling around on your bed a spring sticks out from the bed and stabs you in the back,sending you flying off your bed and onto the bedroom floor,yelping for help like a dog which got its tail ran over by a truck.You cant really remove that spring,and its always there.What are you going to do?Buy another bed?But its new.So what are you going to do?So every night you sleep in that same bed with your butt positioned in a way that the spring is just centimeters away from you.But once in a while you have a nightmare and roll onto the spring,and line two of this paragraph happens all over again.You start to wonder:

"Maybe this bed hates me."

However,if i take that little chance my life might be a whole lot better.You never know where risks might take you.Oh well,its all about choices.Alternatives.Dilemmas.And no Sam,dont bother reading this again.I did not drop hints.

Quotes of the Day:
[Helen has a gaping hole in her abdomen]
Madeline,"You're a walking lie Helen, and I can see right through you!"

Madeline,"I can see my ass!"

Lisle Von Rhuman,"This is life's ultimate cruelty. It offers us a taste of youth and vitality, and then it makes us witness our own decay."

Madeline,"Wrinkled, wrinkled little star... hope they never see the scars."

Madeline,"Bottoms up!"
[Madeline drinks the potion]
Lisle Von Rhuman,"But first,a warning."
Madeline,"NOW a warning?"

Doctor,"I tell you what, kids, it's, uh, odd thing here. Your wrist, uh, far as I can tell, is, uh, fractured in three places. Uh, and you've shattered, uh, two vertebrae, though I can't be certain without an X-ray... The bone protrusion through the skin -- that's not a good sign. You're body temperature is below 80, and your, your, your heart's stopped beating."
Ernest,"What the hell does that mean?"
Doctor,"Exactly! What... what... I'm going to get a second opinion."
[The doctor leaves in a hurry]
Madeline,"Well, it could be worse."

Ernest,"Where did you put my wife?"
Second doctor,"She's dead, sir. They took her to the morgue."
Ernest,"The morgue? She'll be furious!"

Helen,"You have no talent fpr poverty."

Madeline,"Do you know that they do to soft, bald, overweight Republicans in prison, Ernest? "

Ernest,"Well, from now on, I'm going to be the kind of idiot I want to be!"

[Helen and Madeleine shatter into pieces after falling down stairs]
Helen's head,"Do you remember where you parked the car?"
---"Death Becomes Her"(1992)

Song of the Moment---Man on the Side by John Mayer

Of the Webcam Craze
Hey!While Ahmad was here this afternoon i took a few shots with my webcam.Even took one with him sleeeping.Haha.Check them out.


The Significant Other


The Return of the King


Comic Sketch


Corpse


"Sorry Mad.Haha!"