Of the Conversation Under the Clouds
So the daily begins,as i stepped out of the Geography room after class.The routine?Studying after school.I must admit,that i did not study much.Thinking about the number of days left,i feel as if i dont have enough time left,again.But then again,i started revision way earlier than i did for the Mid Years this time round.Hopefully,something's gonna come out of it and at least show a tad bit of improvement.I dont think i can tolerate another blow of red inks on my result slip to my face once more.I started early,so i hope it gets paid off.Neednt be very well,but paid off.Im not asking for much,right?

Anyway,so i came down and saw Kareen staring into space at the tables outside the library.Apparently she was studying some Geography notes,and her "style" of studying was to read once and then stare into space.Well,interesting indeed.Haha.Anyway,i placed my bag down and went downstairs for some photocopying(That was when Mr Ng took over my seat).I came back with Mr Ng sitting in my seat,and of course he shifted for me.Haha.So while they went through Geography i was trying to figure out some math equations.Anyway,her consultation with Mr Ng was relatively brief,and afterwards Ahmad joined us for a while.He was heading home anyway,and i forced him to teach me a sum or two.We went down for a drink,and he told me about his little problem that he encountered.Dont worry too much dude.Do as i say,and see how things work out.This is not a crisis that cannot be resolved.Just try it out alright?Hope everything works out.Anyway,it started raining like mad.Puddles of water were gathering on the fields,and rain blew in from the fields and onto the grand stand.The clouds over shadowed the school as the wind continued to blow.I went back to the table to find Mrs Chua now in my seat(Yay.Is that a good position according to Feng Shui or something?Because everybody's taking my seat).Her consultation this time was long.Mrs Chua even got me involved by asking me a few questions.My mind was still on the accursed question on APGP,which in turn lead to the ignorance of her question(Sorry).

After she left,Kareen and I had a great chat.I must admit,that i dont know well.Not at all.Nothing.Well,i know she's from A2.I know she was from XinMin.I know she was from tennis,and i know that she knows JiaYing.I know,no more.Haha.Well,so we started talking and eventually went on and on.Its amazing how a conversation can just link from one topic to another,and eventually joined up into a chain of thoughts and sentences.She kept insisting me to tell jokes,which to me seemed like it has been a decade since i said those.After all,JC people tends to be a lot more conservative,and having been mixing around with girls it is hard to even say the least funny racist or dirty jokes.So there i was cracking my brains while she told me some really lame jokes that she recorded in that little black notebook of hers,with a German flag at the back.She was a "Joke Depriving Beast" i must say,with that big wet eyes staring at you everytime you say,"Hey,i know!".It is a little creepy at first,but all those were then wiped away when we laughed our heads off.Anyway,we then went on to talking about music.And she HAD to bring my little history up.

Kareen,"You just started learning guitar in the Guitar Club?"
Me,"Nah.I started learning last year when i was in SRJC."
Kareen,"You must've learnt it because you wanted to play for a girl right?"
Me,"How do you know?"
Kareen,"Every guy does that."
Me,"Haha.Oh really?Well for me,it is a long story."

So she started asking me about Rs,and she told me about her little history.The clouds continued to gather and the rain reduced to a drizzle,but ever so steadily falling on the glass plates above our heads.It was dark all around,with the lights kept off.So the two of us,with nobody around,started sharing our little secrets.Well,maybe not secrets.Its just weird how a "Hi-Bye" friend can just turn into someone to share your problems with a joke or two.Haha.

On my way home that day,it was still raining down hard.I left at 550pm,as my father was bringing the family out for dinner.As i walked down that construction site and leaping across puddles of water,I started thinking about her again.Well,i must be a great liar to fool myself in forgetting her.Yeah,i might think i forgot.I might think Ive let it go.I might,i might not.Whatever it is,i have convinced myself that i have.A Master of Deception i am.Fooled myself.

Dinner was cool.The restaurant that my father chose was top notch(It is rated the best restaurant for 2004).We ordered merely four dishes,but it was enough for me to beg for more.The desserts came,and the mango sucked.Well,it tasted like ordinary mango really.But i never liked the taste of mangos.I just dont like them.We went to Orchard to buy my sister a new handphone.She was eyeing the E700A phone from SamSung,but apparently it is out of stock everywhere.The colour that she wants anyway.As they went to the retail shop,i alone strolled along the streets of Orchard and mingled amongst the crowd.Noisy,smelly and wet was all i felt and heard when i squeezed my way to the nearest Coffee Bean.The Ice Blended White Chocolate with Coffee was actually a wrong order,but i didnt care anyway.I needed something to keep myself awake anyway.Drinking alone is fun.That's probably where the idea of "He Men Jiu"(Drinking a lonesome alcohol in chinese) came about.In my case,ice blended chocolate with coffee base.I kept thinking about how i lied to myself and stuff.Couldnt get that out of my head really.Talking about handphones,i wanted to change my initially.My dad uses his handphone a lot.In fact,he never uses the house phone unless somebody calls him through it.So basically every six months or so he gets a voucher.He actually offered that chance to me when he got it,but i gave that chance to my sister who needed a new phone more(Comon',she was using 8310 for God's sakes) than i did.We drove away home that night,emptied handed for my sister,thoughts filled for me.

I wonder if i would change my phone one day.After all,this phone that i have (6610) right now has a lot of memories.It is not necessarily stored inside anyway.Its just the fact that so many things were shown to me through the monitor of that phone that changed my life so drastically.I dont know.Its sort of like an internal struggle deep inside.Its like moving from the house you grew up in.You know its old and ran down,but there's a special feeling to the oldness of it all.

Oh yes.Rs updated her Friendster profile.Initially,there was nothing there.Just blanks and dots.Now she updated it with a full profile of herself,which included her favourite movies,books and stuff like that.Well,she wasnt on MSN when she was updating,which made me wonder if she blocked me at all.She said under the profile that she doesnt like "Fan" (Irritating) people who asks boring/stupid questions(Or something like that).Perhaps thats why she blocked me,if she did at all.I wouldnt blame her i guess.After all,i did say a lot of lame things when i talked to you.However,the last time i talked to you was way back in April,and that was the greatest conversation i ever had.Oh well,i wonder what made you change your mind.Yeah,Kareen.Maybe i AM thinking too much.Perhaps i am worrying too much as well.But i see too little,and think too much.So much so that,i dont see and think any longer,anymore.

Song of the Moment---Ride by The Vines