Of the Girl of the Stars
By special friend,i mean REALLY special.I think i shall not reveal her name,but im sure she'll know that im refering to her when she reads this.If she reads it at all.She's very different from all the friends that i have.At least she's very different from the other close friends.I got to know her in Secondary Two i think.MIRC was the "In" thing back then,and if you dont chat on IRC at least once every two days you are basically an alien.Irc was a common ground for girls/boys picking.By that,i mean it is easy to make friends there without actually seeing each other.Thats friends making minus the awkward stares and conversations.Not happy with the person you found?Close the window.It is that simple.Irc offered a door to a world never known to me,and through that door i am glad i found this special friend of mine.Or rather,she was the one who found me.

In the summer of 2000,i was online and looking for people to talk to.This person messaged me and introduced herself.(Which is in fact,the common ritual of an online conversation.)So we talked,and got along fine.I soon found myself looking for her nickname everytime i go online,and didnt exactly know the reason to it.ICQ was the second most "In" thing back then,and my sister just introduced it to me.Come to think about it,it is one of the most irritating chatting programs around.To me,at least.She gave me her ICQ number,and it made chatting a lot easier.We lost contact for a long while,and in the middle of December 2000 we met again online.I was in Taiwan,and i totally forgot about her existence.She reintroduced herself,and amazingly she remember all about me.Where i live,where i am from,where i live in Taiwan,and that i had a dog.Wow.So we talked,and in July of 2001 we made up our minds to start a diary.Its like a shared diary,which we will write and pass to each other after a month or two.That "System" went on fine,all the way until June or July last year.It's a pity,that she never sent the diary back.But oh well,it isnt hard to start up that system again.I met her once,and thats it.Once.And that was at Bukit Batok MRT station with Alvin.A friend of mind.I vaguely remember how she looks like.I remember she was short,and had short hair.She was in her school PE Tshirt when we met.Haha.Just that once really,and i totally forgot.Well,through the diary system we really got close.She never liked to talk on the phone,and her mother is a problem when it comes to being online.So writing became the only way of communication since i didnt have a handphone back then(It was forbiddened in school,and treated like a tool of crime at home).She likes the stars,and she likes Jay Chou.She likes books,and she likes the radio.She loves beaches,and had a close circle of friends in Secondary School.She is cheerful,yet an emotional side that i hadnt been able to see through.Weird sense of art,especially the work she did on the back of the diary.(That penknife thing.)Back then,being in a boys school,having female friends was a big thing.Its true.So it wasnt abnormal to having a slight feeling of liking for any female friend that comes along and be nice to you.Like i always say,i was young and i was stupid.I didnt know what liking was,what a crush was,what love was.(Who knows,anyway?)I started to like her,and to be honest i didnt know why.It was really a liking for the sake of liking.And i know i was wrong to do that.Come to think about it,it was really unfair for her.I told her about it.Or rather,i hinted about it.I dont think she took the hint anyway.Not seriously at least.So time wore on after that,and my liking faded.How long can likings like that last anyway?

Despite being so far apart most of the time,we remained close.She lives in Bukit Timah,and i in Serangoon.She goes to SAJC,while i am in NYJC(Rats).But for some reason,she has been really nice to me.Nice really is an awful word to use,but i ran out of vocabulary anyway.She is special,in the sense that she belongs to a league of her own,and deserves a totally new category of friends,with her alone inside.On my birthday this year,she dedicated a song to me on Class 95.It was some NSync song which i cannot remember the title,and today i recieved a card from her.I really didnt know what to do.I mean,i felt bad for not treating her much better in the past.Not that i treated her badly or anything.Just not good enough.I could have,and i should have.But for some reason,i didnt.I dont usually recieve letters from anyone.(Despite the usual irritating donation cards).This,was a big deal.And i was touched.Yeah,a guy.Touched.Bad word to use.But its true.I wanted to thank her,but i didnt know how.I just held my handphone in my hands for the longest time i know.I feel that i have neglected her,that i forgot about her existence while i was immersed in the twists and turns of life.Especially the tale of me and Rs.I didnt know what to do really.I just stared.But i couldnt stop reading the card.It made me look like some overly obsessed kid,but i didnt really care.Looking back,i should have treated her better.Liked her a lot better.Perhaps told her in a proper manner.We all moved on in our lives,and the opportunity came and gone.Despite the distance,she remembered.And she cared.Like what i wrote in the letter for her,"Its comforting to know that someone out there,still cares.It feels good to be remembered.It really does."

I dont know how to treat her better.I dont know how.We are always so far away,and that makes things really difficult.Oh well,i'll figure out somehow.You were the reason why i looked up in the sky more often now.Im serious.And i do look into the sky more often now.Thanks for everything you are,and everything you did.You might not feel appreciated,but you really are.You are.The Girl of the Stars.:)

Song of the Moment---Victoria by John Mayer