Of the Entry at 3am
Upon reading the tag earlier,i dont know if i should grieve or simply laugh the whole thing off.Perhaps,i need time to get used to the fact that ive gotten over her.Yeah,perhaps thats it.I mean,i cannot do the transition in that short amount of time right?Its like time difference between countries.You dont expect to throw someone from Singapore to American and expect him to sleep at 10pm.Thats impossible.Anyway,whoever the tagger was,i guess i should thank him/her for telling me.After all,it isnt healthy to keep waiting for the day when she moves on with her own love life.Not that she ever stopped for me anyway.All im saying is,ive been telling myself that one day she'll like someone,she'll be attached to someone,she'll be married to someone,she'll be happy with someone,she'll love someone,she'll die a happy woman.The saddest part about this story is that that someone is not me.I guess,ive just began to realise that fact.Ok,no worries.To be honest i feel that i am taking this way better than i wouldve.I mean,i expected myself to fall into a deep moodswing again and start listening to some really sappy love songs.Haha.Instead,i playing some brainless shooting games and started shouting vulgarities at every bots i kill.It is odd,but vulgarities work wonders.Haha.She's actually dating him,how great.How nice.Someone finally managed to ask her out.Thats wonderful.Someone broke that barrier and got through to her.Thats simply amazing.I take off my hat for you,whoever you are.Haha.Yeah,i should be thankful that i still have the mood to type 'haha'.If ive gotten over her,then she liking someone now shouldnt be that big a deal,right?Well,then why cant i sleep at 330am?Im still wide awake,and ive been thinking about it for the past three hours or so.Oh well,i guess more shooting games and more vulgarities might work.Thinking back,i used to sit alone on the balcony and think about you.Lately,i havent been doing that.I guess thats a first step to the brighter path?Haha.Perhaps,perhaps.You name is starting to mean nothing to me.Even your pictures are no more than just mere pictures.And as to whether you are going to the concert in July or not,i dont even care now.I am going to go with Ahmad,and have some great fun.I am going to enjoy myself there,and not care if you turn up or not.Because you never do,and you never will.I shall not have expectations,and remain a happy man that night.Yes,that is exactly what i am going to do.

Though ive said all those stuff,i wonder if i mean it.Maybe its just the impulsive side of me acting on my fingers and mind.Think about it,if whatever i said is true then why cant i sleep?I am not sobbing,i am not crying,hell i dont even feel sad about it.Why cant i sleep?Why cant i sleep?Maybe in nightmares,you cannot sleep.You only wake up.And i think i should wake up now.Shh,just wake up.If you ever need me,just call me.I will be around the bent,by my phone,behind your back.Quoting a lyrics from David Gates' song,"If a man can be two places at once,i might be with you.Tomorrow and today,beside you all the way." I wanted to be someone like that in your life,but i guess that position has been replaced.But hey,we all set out with the same purpose didnt we?To make sure that you have someone to share the tears and joys.Yeah,haha.So whoever's in that position,should and must make sure that he does his job well.In which case,i just hope that he makes you happy.And if he doesnt,i'll make sure he goes home to his mother with a wet pants.

And this reminds me of an awesome John Mayer song from his 'Heavier Things' album.It's called 'Wheels',and i think it describes things perfectly now.

Wheel
by John Mayer

People have the right to fly
And when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along
Let's move it along

And airports
See it all the time
With someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last,
To love her

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first
To love me

You can find me, if you ever want to give
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around,
I'll be around

And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it

I believe that my life's gonna see...

The love I give...

Returned to me......

*Chuckles*Why am i still awake?Why am i not asleep?Why cant i sleep?A part of me tells me that i shouldnt,and this is not the way that i should be acting.I should be sad,i should be depressed.Yeah,maybe i should.But i choose not to.Be a rebel,a rebel of love.Though every part of my body might tell me that it is wrong to not feel a thing,i am not going to care.Its probably one of those false feelings.Remember how every part of my body told me that she was IT?Yeah,see how wrong they can get.They are probably wrong again.I should feel this way,and that is to laugh it off.HAHA!There,its done...

I believe that my life's gonna see...

The love i give...

Returned to me...