Song of the Day:
Ode to My Family by The Cranberries



Understand the things I say
Don't turn away from me
Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn't disagree
D'you see me, d'you see
Do you like me. Do you like me standing there
D'you notice, d'you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care...?

Unhappiness, where's when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there?
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care...?

Understand what I've become
It wasn't my design
And people everywhere think
Something better than I am
But I miss you. I miss
'Cause you liked it. I liked it
When I was out there
D'you know this, d'you know
You did not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care...?

Unhappiness was when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh me liked me, does anyone care

Does anyone care...

Of the Great Singapore BlackOut
So i was at the front of my computer typing on the keyboards,while my Geography notes laid on the front of the desk.Talking to Ahmad about some relationship stuff,when everything went black.It happened so fast,and i sat in my seat stunned for a moment.Things like that happens,especially when too much electricity is consumed in the family.Oh well,so the lights went off and everything went pitch black.I couldnt see my fingers even if i reach them out in front of me.Normally,the only light came from the streetlights outside.However,today the windows were dark as well,and my sister was screaming next door.My door was closed,so i thought i should get out of my room first.Rolled myself across the room on my chair and hit the cupboard accidentally.The books came tumbling onto me as i desperately searched for the door knob.After much struggle,i opened the door to find my sister on the corridor with her handphone in her hand.She was using that as a torch.I grabbed my handphone and found mom going to the back of the house to check the powerbox.She said she found nothing abnormal there,and my sister went back to the window.The opposite block was pitch black as well.Not the first time happening,so i didnt take heed of it.I went to the balcony and looked out into the night.The neighbours already had candles and torches up,and some of them were waving them around in their livingrooms.Kids were laughing and screaming as they played the roles of Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker in a Torch-Saber fight.I waved my handphone to the neighbours,and they waved back.Haha.That was really fun.Just as we were about to go back into the house and wait for the power to come back on,i noticed something odd in the horizon.I didnt know what at first,but i just stared.It was weird,but i didnt know what was.Suddenly,it dawned on me.The whole neighbourhood was black!The estate across the street was black,with the street lights gone.The HDB blocks in the horizon were totally dark as well.The night was darker than usual,and exceptionally quiet.The traffic lights were haywire,and traffic was already starting to build at the lights.We went around the house and peered out of all the windows,and found out that other places were dark as well.Bishan was totally dark,and Ang Mo Kio was pitch black too.Hougang had lights no more,and SengKang was all quiet.My sister started to panick,like she always do.My mother lighted some candles and stuck them around the house while i tried to call my friends.Singtel was down,and i couldnt call through.So i used the home phone and called Krishna.Haha.Apparently his house is dark as well.The ironic thing was,the condominium opposite his house is called "Lid".However,it is not "Lid" now.Haha.He was reading his book when the lights went out.Haha.That was fun really.I talked to him on the phone,and my voice echoed down the hallway.(Most of the time,the falling of water in the fish tank would drown every other sound.)As we talked,power came back on and fun was no more.He was still talking in darkness,and i went back to study.Haha.What a fantastic experience.

Reminded me of the time when i was in Taiwan.In Taiwan they have drills like that all the time.Basically to check the power supply.So basically you will be informed of a blackout before hand.There was this time when the lights were expected to go out at 2am,and i wanted under my covers for the lights to go out.I counted down,and my heart skipped with every passing second.For some reason,i was afraid.I didnt know what i was afraid of,but it was something about the darkness that i did not feel very comfortable of.5,4,3,2,1...The lights went out,and darkness overwhelmed me as i covered myself in the blanket.Everything became so quiet suddenly,except from the sound in your head.(Try locking yourself in a quiet room.You will hear a high pitch sound in your head.)It was scary for some reason,and the night became really long since i couldnt sleep.

Back to this experience,having a nationwide blackout on my birthday is definitely something i'll remember.Haha.Sort of reminded me of the time when i was doing my maths paper.My mind was somewhat like the skyline of Singapore this night.Dark.Black.Blank.Though everything was black and quiet,for some reason i was afraid of it.The unknown that lies in the darkness itself perhaps?The fact that i didnt know anything during the paper was frightful,and it made me want to take cover under my blankets and peer out into the darkness.Perhaps,thats the hidden phobia that i have.Of darkness.Haha.Weird,what a childish phobia.But i dont know,really.This day,the Great Singapore BlackOut day,i realised my little phobia.Haha.Awesome.

Song of the Moment---Love Song for No One by John Mayer

Of the Dawned Nightmare and the Morning After
I have to say,that it has been the weirdest examination period ever.Lets start with the nightmare that occured for everyone.Im sure everybody had their nails in their skulls and pulling their hair out of their roots.Yes,mathematics is indeed a pain in the ass.Oh well,over and done.Lets not think about.

Day 2(Monday) of the Nightmare Without a Dream
Yesterday i had Geography Paper 1(That's Physical Geography.) and Mathematics in the afternoon.Not the greatest combination in the world,considering they couldve placed GP with either one of those and extend the examination period.I really dont mind a longer time period than a packed timetable.Oh well,so yesterday i got up and went to school with no more than some facts about physical Geography here and there.In the end,the paper turned out to be a lot easier than i expected,though a lot shortest too.On the timetable,it says "2hours 45 minutes".Of course,the mental preparation was set at that time,until Mr Ng told us about the mistake and i had to shorten that mental preparation and speed things up.In the end,i wrote too much and i had a lot more to write.Oh well,i wrote something for everything,so thats good i guess?Had a long break between that and the next paper,so Samantha and Valerie came over to study.I was literally locked outside my house when i came home,because my mother went out to the office to take care of things(Be the next Donald Trump,basically.).I called my sister several times before she bothered to pick up the phone.She did pick up the phone,but hung me up when i asked her to open the door for me.Apparently,she was sleeping.I went,"Are you at home?Can you open the gate for me?".That was followed by a few mumbled words and grunts,then the phone went dead.I called again,and she was pissed.In the end,she came to open the door,but havent got the key.I asked her to check my room and hers,but apparenly she was too blur to do anything but to head back to bed.As i took the lift down,i realised that it was in my wallet all along.Instead of being in the left pocket,it ended up in the right.Oh well,so we went inside the house and studied a little.Despite having our wills written,we still studied.Haha.At least mine was.

Maths was a horror movie in real life.First,it was the awful sitting arrangement.It was 1pm,and the sun is pouring its blessing through the window.At that particular angle,it blessed the people sitting on the last row.Especially the last two seats,which happened to be Angeline and I.Half the time,we were shading our eyes from the sun,and the other time wiping sweat off our foreheads.And as for me,i was going through the Hydration process in Geographical terms,where water is drawn out from the rock,causing it to weather.I was weathering!The questions were hard,and i am not going to deny like David Beckham that i wasnt fit.I was,but just not enough braincells to sustain the immerse heat.Damn heatstroke,and i scribbled through the paper.It was a horror,and i my mind drifted off to some distant myriad.Thought about the possibilities of moving overseas,and do some film studies there.Despite having the eagerness and wanting to go overseas,i havent got the guts.I mean,it is hard to go overseas alone right?Unless someone is willing,then i wouldnt have much to say.For now,i am all alone.And if i were to go there,i'll be in a totally different environment with strangers as my friends and the cold wind as my neighbour.I dont really like the feeling of being an alien to a country,especially when there is no one there to help.Anybody interested to head overseas with me?Im thinking about Massey University in New Zealand by the way.They have a film school,and they are supposingly trying to produce the elite film makers.Peter Jackson will hand pick new film makers from that particular school,when the first batch of students graduate.That school starts next year by the way.Interesting.I'll see how things go.In the mean time,im still stuck in shithole aka NYJC.Time's up,and i handed up my empty sheets of paper.Never took notice of the expressions of people's faces during the test,but in the end they all looked worried and twisted.And as for me and Angeline,hot.I felt like i just had a sun tan.My right hand was burning.Nobody said the paper was easy,and i half expect myself to fail this one anyway.Took the walk home alone across the running tracks.Thought about my options,and guts seems to be the only hindrance and barrier i have to cross.Serious lack of it.That marked the end of the nightmare.

Day 3(Tuesday/Birthday) of the Nightmare Without a Dream
As some of you might already know,today is my birthday.I never really celebrate birthdays really.I mean,i dont feel any different on this day.I dont physically see my legs grow longer,i dont see my palm growing bigger,and i dont feel any different from any other day.(Save for the lack of sleep.Studied till 2am for Economics.No joke.)Every year is the same,and i still dont feel any different.And as for celebrations?I dont like to have big parties whatsoever.I dont see what for.Perhaps i might do it on a more significant date like,21.Or 60.Or 70.Perhaps ever year after 80.Anyway,so this year was no different.Instead of changing my Msn nickname to announce my birthday like last year,(Which was incredibly stupid.)I chose to keep it down low.In the end,only a few remembered.But hey,that is my motive,isnt it.I dont really want a bunch of people to go,"Today is your birthday??" then get poled by Dudley or somebody.(If i get the chance at all.)So today i had Economics Paper 3,and yesterday night,or rather this morning,i mugged my head off while talking to ZaoYi and JianXian online.(Sorry for the conversation,which seemed like a major doping fest on my part.)So i studied till 230am and fell dead on the bed.Studied my way to school literally,and panicked by what i realised that i have not studied.A talk with Terence,TGM and Samuel made me feel a lot better in the morning,but the fear was ever existent.We entered the hall,and Terence started humming this battle song that kept me laughing.The paper started,and i chose three questions and did it.Questions 1,4 and 5.Seemed pretty easy.I did it,and went through the whole 2 hours 15 minutes quickly.I thought i did alright,but that was what i thought last year right.I mean,just when you think you did well for Economics,the marker sees a small irrelevance and gives you a Level 1 grade.Great.Oh well,she shall see.I took the road home soon after,while messaging Ahmad.Wished him good luck for the Physics paper,that is coming up in an hour's time.(1pm.)Good luck everyone!Well,4 person remembered my birthday so far,and thats good enough,taking into consideration the low profile i intended.Faith was the first last night,at 1204am.Rs came in a close second at 1207am with a picture message.That was awesome.Really.Probably the only consolation.3rd was Dudley at 649am,and then it was XinYu when i got home.Haha.Thanks to the people above,and thanks to Dudley who didnt pole me.Rs and I exchanged a few messages,and i think i feel a lot easier to talk to her when i am over and done with her.I dont even try to talk to her,i just talk.And thats good.No awkwardness whatsoever.Her exams end this Saturday,and thats an awful long time.Oh well,good luck ont that Rs!Hope to hear good news from you on Msn.Alright,thats it.I shall retire.Taking my good O'nap.

In order to starta conversation,i asked how Rs how she knew my birthday.Cheekily,she said,"Dont tell ya!=D"in her message.That was really cute.Haha.In my opinion that is.Oh well,though my feels faded,and liking disappeared and gone,you are still so sweet and important to me.Thanks again.You just made today such a lovely one.I dont even need cakes or candles,but just a message is just great.To know that i am remembered.

Oh yes,as i am typing this,Jasmine greeted me as well.So thanks to her too.;)Rock on girl.

By the way,the scariest papers personally are over.So i feel really good now.Haha.This is a song by Chantal Kreviazuk.Its called "Weight of the World".Its only part of the lyrics,but it describes my thoughts.

I used to carry the weight of the world
And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly
I don't know why I was so afraid... all the time
Memories seemed to bother me.. my whole life

Oh and there's always something
Or somebody right behind
Well we're not meant to be everything
We're just a piece
So spread your wings...

Song of the Moment---Five Colours in her Hair by Mcfly.(I can play it now!)

Of the Prayer to No One
Countdown to the End of the Nightmare Without a Dream:4 Days
Tomorrow,or rather today,the Mid Years starts.The Nightmare without a dream.The Dream without the Sleep.It is reality,a nightmare in real life.Nothing is scary about examinations actually.Just a test thrown to you to test your knowledge on certain things.Life sounds easy like that,doesnt it?Well,lets do some calculation of life now.Take Life as a constant,add that to the numerous amount of notes we have to study,then add that to the tutorials we have to do,plus the amount of text you need to understand.Then add all of those to the text you need to memorize.Label the answer as (1).Find the amount of time you spend other than the time you are studying and working on anything related to school.With that,you times that amount by 2/3.(1/3 is used for sleeping.)With the answer obtained,label it as (2).Now,minus (2) from (1).The answer you get is probably a very large,real number.You just proved,that life with examination,is hell.I shall name this,"Hell Number".

The truth is,i havent been doing much really.The worst thing about going into the examination hall,is to go in without anything up in your mind.The worst part is when the clock ticks by and the pen you are holding in your hand,is trembling and slipping off your palms,as sweat slowly washes away the friction.You start to panick,and you start to tap your feet.Spinning your pen isnt helping,and neither is scratching your head.You start to blink,and with every blink the words start to disappear until nothing is left on the paper.You watch as time goes by,and the paper still remains empty,not to mention your mind now.Overwhelmed by fear,you joke with your friend how badly you just did for your exam,then as soon as you step out of the hall you ran home with the quickest pace possible.Yes,that happened.And im sure it will happen again.I always do a prayer before i sleep.Despite having no religion at all,prayers have been a tradition for me.Who do i pray to?Whoever's out there.Jesus Christ,Allah,Buddha,some other nameless gods,i dont care.As long as they have the power over wisdom,they are who i am praying to.(Since they are all addressed as "God" most of the time,it makes things a lot easier for me.)This time,i dont supposed a prayer would help me anyway.Whoever's there,will be laughing at me tomorrow during the papers."What did i tell you?" says the voice from an unknown source.Though it wouldnt make much of a difference if i prayed,i prayed anyway.Whoever is willing to help,help.If not,as expected.I wouldnt be surprise,if all the gods sit in front of the television set and watch the TV program called,"The DownFall of WeiLien!",then start laughing at it with popcorns and cokes.Yeah,its all me.No point depending on superior beings,when you cannot even do things yourself.Oh well,what are prayers for.Prayers are for the insecure.If you are confident,then prayers are merely for luck.I need luck,but i need a lot more than that.Answers,are what i need.And that nobody can give.(Unless i sneak into the school right now at 12mn and steal the answer key.Since my house is so near no one would notice.)I should blame myself.But then again,i am studying for the things that i have totally no interest in,and would probably not aid me in the profession i want to take.(Writing,directing,scripting,music.)At least i dont see what the study of Financing,Government Tools,Unemployment,Studies of Rocks,Landforms,Hydrological Cycle,Atmosphere,Differential Equations,Curve Sketching,Maclurin's theory would help in any of those.I mean,how much of the stuff we study NOW,actually comes in handy in the later part of our lives?This,is not the same as driving tests.You learn,what you use.We are NOT learning what is practical now.I bet more than half of the people now,wouldnt be using their knowledge to earn a living when they are in the business world.It is like preparing for an EarthQuake in Singapore.What the hell for?Beats me.

Song of the Moment---Weight of the World by Chantal Kreviazuk

Of the McDonald's,revisited.
So,i went back to that same McDonalds to study with Krishna again.Having a bunch of stuff left untouched,i figured it was time for me to get down to some serious studying.General Paper was easy this morning.At least i thought it was.The passages were rather interesting,in the sense that i deeply related myself to Amy Bruckman.Screw Neil Postman man.You are just like our principal.A skull too numb and too thick to accept changes.Anyway,Amy Bruckman stated that the cyberspace is not merely a "Information SuperHighway",but also a place which normal artists like myself,can express themselves and nurtures a creative process.Totally agreed.Despite that speech being given in 1995,it still relates so much to our modern day internet usage.Especially with the popularity of online diaries growing,it clearly shows that internet is no longer a source of information.You create your own information for others.Hopefully through that,you inspire others to do the same.So true,so true.I was smiling while reading that passage,and desperately wanted Mr Yeo to read it.(Especially after reading his recent entry concerning our little incident with certain individual's blog.Im with you big man.)Anyway,i finished the paper pretty fast,and spent most of my time eating the Lemon sweet i brought with me into the hall.The hall was exceptionally cold due to the fan turned to full blast.I was shivering,and hugging myself from time to time.Oh yes,this morning ZhuangYi told me the news about France losing to Greece.WHAT??!!I was shocked.Really.I mean,Germany is out.England is out.Italy is out.Now France is out.Wait,what is happening?Its like JJC losing a rugby match to RJC!(No offence.)Oh well,its times like these when the underdog barks the loudest and when the dark horse shines the brightest.They got to have their day,right?Too bad England matched up with Portugal,or they might have made it further.Damn Becky and his penalty shot!(If you call that a penalty shot at all.)Truly emotional ending to a match.Sad.

Immediately after the exam,i took a bus to Bishan MRT on bus 53.Had a great chat with Eugene about the exam as well as other matters.Great guy,though we are not necessarily in the same league.Anyway,took the MRT to Raffles Place and met up with Krishna.He was in this ridiculous shorts which was not necessarily a Bermuda,but neither was it a three quarter.I went,"Wait.This isnt a Bermuda,and its not a three quarter.What the hell is it?A half?"Damn,and his bright green nike shoes are killing my eyes.I think they are horrible.But who cares.He doesnt give a rats butt about it.Went upstairs to the second floor to study.We ate first,and i still felt hungry.But oh well,hunger was curbed for studies.Tossed out my books and studied.Damn.I am making way to many careless mistakes for maths.Not that Im bragging,but i actually got most of the methods right.So many careless mistakes that i can actually cry.Oh well,Ben Tan met us after that,and we studied together.We went downstairs,and i bought the Waffle Cone icecream.Twisted.Yum.At least this time,mine did not melt that fast.(Do not by from the McDonalds outside Bras Basah or Shaw Towers.They melt instantly.Anyway,Krishna and I went out to fetch Samuel,who was apparently wandering around Clarke Quay,lost.We studied,and Samuel gave me some tips on Economics.He narrowed the scope for me,and thank you for that dude.Haha.It was his birthday yesterday,and Krishna bought him this small present.He bought one for me too,and it was a small box made of coconut husk.Inside was a small bottle of liquid which had an apple like scent.(It said "Apple" on the label.But it did not necessarily smell like one.Pressure on the plane must have changed the smell.)Thanks Krishna.;)

Ben and Samuel left for home first,since Samuel had to go home to celebrate his father's birthday.(A day after his.Imagine the odds.)Ben had to go home for family dinner.Wait,i thought family dinners are on Sundays?Anyway,Krishna and I continued to study till 630pm.By then,i was dead beat.Walked around like a zombie and was finding it difficult to push the toilet door open.Took the train to town and wanted to eat Swensens.(Both of our mouths felt itchy,and the fullness of our wallets allowed us to do so.)"Oh shit!" Krishna said."Its Saturday night!"Lots of people were already at Swensens,and a long queue could be seen outside.In the end,we went along with plan B.Japanese Resturant under Paragon.There was a Thai restruant on one side,and a chinese resturant on another.The Japanese one was in the centre,and apparently everybody queued up for the Thai and the Chinese resturant,but not the Japanese one.I started to doubt if the food is any good,and Krishna convinced me in the end.I ordered something that cost me 18 dollars.Hell,i was hungry.It was some Don,and i forgot the name.(Started with a T.Its called Chicken Gullet something.Yeah,i dont know what i eat.)Damn,it was heaven on Earth.It was great,and i was almost tearing with joy.I wonder why nobody is queueing up into this resturant.Haha.Idiots!We finished,and talked a bit.Saw our old English Teacher outside and went out on a hunt for him.In the end,we ended up in KinoKuniya buying books.He was searching for Simon Cowell's biography,while i was searching for Stephen King's The Dark Tower series.He found the hardcover versions,but wanted the softcovers instead.We found the Book of Answers once more!Damn,i love that book.I held it and ask,"Will i fail my Mid Years?".Turned the book to a page.Firmly,it said,"No." Haha.Well,thats a relief!(Point to note,Ive asked the book a lot of questions.Everything came true.Everything.)I love that book,and someday im going to buy it.Saw Fiona Xie there,and damn she's way darker and shorter than i thought.Oh well,she really is good looking.And so was her boyfriend who followed after her like a leashed dog.I found the Stephen King book in the end.Its called "The GunSlinger".Wow.Cant wait to read it.Especially after multiple positive reviews from Amazon.com and ComingSoon Boards.(Thanks Brock Landers.)That was 16 dollars.Damn.Haha.Alright,i am tired.And i shall study now.Peace out.

Song of the Moment---I Remember.../Stranger Than you Dreamt It by Christine and Phantom.From the soundtrack of "The Phantom of the Opera".(Cant wait for the movie by the way.Directed by Joel Schumacher,and the teaser is online.The visuals look great,and the soundtrack is awesome.Brilliance!Christmas!

For more information on Phantom of the Opera(The Movie),Click here.

Of the Remote Control and the Remote Island called Euphoria
Caution.Entry was typed way after midnight.Random thoughts alert.Be warned.
I think our lives are moving too fast.Seeing the man with the piece of bread still in his mouth this morning spunned much thoughts into my mind.A person hadnt even got the time to eat his breakfast.The woman around the corner who tripped because she missed a step on the stairs made me ask myself what's all the rush.Even when i was on my way back to school today i almost slipped off the slope next to the teacher's carpark where i usually climb up.I wonder why we are all rushing in our lives.When the alarm clock rings in the morning,that is the cue for you to start that chaos all over again.Brush your teeth as fast as you can so you wouldnt miss the bus.Then rush into the MRT station and hop onto the MRT train.With a quick pace you rush towards the school gate and into the school and almost trips.A man working at the office,grabs the half eaten bread from the fridge and stuff it into the oven for a one minute warm up while he irons his shirt.Puts them on,and with his briefcase in one hand and handphone in another he grabs his breakfast and runs out of the house before waving goodbye to his wife and child.All these,goes on everyday in our lives.I start to think,what the hell is the rush?It was 130am,and i took a break from a break from studying.(If you get what i mean.)Took a stroll to the balcony,and everything was quiet and peaceful.Tonight was extra windy,with the wind blowing from the East and the air smelling refreshed.Just when you think the wee hours is the time when people are supposed to be at home sleeping,relaxing to a cup of coffee,making love to your wife,or enjoying your time with a couple of friends watching England VS Portugal at the Euro 2004,you see a bunch of cars buzzing down the roads endlessly.Red lights heading towards the expressway while white ones flowing ever from that direction.

I wonder when all these would stop,and pause,and rewind.Everything is fast forwarding right now.Somebody must have left his finger on the fast forward button on the remote control of life.Everything's going so fast,there is hardly time left for people to stop and take a breath.Pant,that was tiring.Streetlights become a string of lights flashing past the car window like neons.Just when you thought you saw something interesting outside,its gone.How i wish,that i might have a total control over the remote of my life.The king of the living room,the master of the sofa,the lord of the buttons.Yeah,that sounds sweet.The world is too noisy,with all the constructions and talking.Turn the volume off,mute it.The world is too fast,with the cars and the people ever moving.Pause it,stop it,rewind it.Sometimes,everything becomes so irritating,and so annoying.You want to shut yourself away from this world and stopping it wouldnt help.Press the 'Power' button and it would all go away.

I guess,people nowadays never has the chance to look down on whats below their feet or above their heads.Everyone's attention is on what's before them and the past is often forgotten anyway.I think,that if we slow down one day,we might just find a remote control in our hands.You might ask yourself,"Where the hell did this come from?"Perhaps it has been there since the day you were born,you just never noticed it.Its just like putting a pencil on your ear,and after a while you forget that you put it there.Though its there,you never find it.One day,when you do slow down a little bit from the paces of life,do press on the "Skip Track" button.You never know where you might be swept off to.I,would like to be on this remote island called Euphoria.Though this island might not last for long,but it is a euphoria after all isnt it.Its just like religion,a sudden surge of euphoria.Happiness.Its precious,especially in times like these.Imagine this place with whatever you want,when your life slows down to a crawl.Sometimes,crawling on the ground might be a gift compared to the soaring birds.You get a closer look at the ground than from up above.After all,there isnt anything of much interest anyway is there?Despite it being just a momentary stay on the Island of Euphoria,it is times like this that makes me smile throughout the day.Whatever the thing is in your life that makes time stop,treasure that moment.The trouble is that people do not stop anymore to notice what makes them happy,and things that has the potential to make them notice the remote control in their hands,that is the passport to the Island of Euphoria.Look down,and you might just see it.

Vocabulary of the Day:
Euphoria - Pronounciation Key:eu·pho·ri·a
Definition:A feeling of great happiness or well-being.
[New Latin, from Greek, from euphoros, healthy : eu-, eu- + pherein, to bear; see bher-1 in Indo-European Roots.]

This led me to a song by The Calling.It is called 'Our Lives' from their 'II' album.It talks about the slowing down of life.These are only part of the lyrics.Check them out.

We can't go on
Thinking it's wrong
To speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside

Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

Song of the Moment---Our Lives by The Calling

Of the New Look
I just changed the skin of my blog.I really like it,and it is Broken Angel no more.Haha.No more passwords as well,so i guess it'll be easier for everybody excess.And as for the theme of this blog?Im still thinking about it.I want to leave the "Secret Garden" theme behind.Oh well,i shall leave it as it is for now.Enjoy the number guessing game as well.Its wonderful when you are trying to kill time.Enjoy your stay!

Song of the Moment---Layla by Eric Clapton

Of the Wrong Road
The following account happened subconsciously and should only be taken as an analogy
An empty road is before you,and you are in your car,all excited to press down on that pedal.Your heart is beating,and your mind is a blank.All you wanted to do was to drive down this stretch of road without much thinking.And so you adjusted your gear,and placed your sweaty palms on the wheels and with a deep breath you exerted force on the pedal.With a loud roar from the engine the car speeds down the road at full speed.You feel free and refreshed,and it was that sort of feeling that makes you feel as if you are flying.Then you come to a junction.You chose one of them and continued your joy ride.As you drove o,you felt that the road is a lot rougher,and your car is not moving along as fast as you hoped for.You looked over the edge of your car,and see pebbles and rocks underneath your wheels.You want to turn back,but since you are halfway through you might as well go on.The pebbles grew bigger as you went on,and you literally started to jump in your seat.The car slowed down to a crawl,and your pressed on the pedal harder.The car sped on,and without notice it caught a rock in the wheels and the car flipped over.It spunned in the air once,twice,trice.With a bang it landed on its back and you flew out of your car.Of course,this all happens subconsciously."Damn!" you thought,as you brushed the dust off your arms."I shouldve taken the other road."you screamed.

Damn.Thinking back,i shouldve went to polytechnic instead of a Junior College.I do have friends there,and some of them are doing courses that are so much closer to my interest and my live,that i wonder why i never chose to go there in the first place.A friend of mine is doing film studies,and his homework is to write scripts and to film short movies.Another friend of mine met a couple of music enthusiasts and learned so much about guitar its amazing.Come to think about it,why am i not there?I mean,i am so suited there than i am now here.Not that i am saying that whatever i am learning now is useless whatsoever.In fact,the opportunities you get with learning maths,economics,chemistry and physics is so much higher than whatever i am interested in.(Save for Geography.Utterly useless other than increasing your general knowledge and being a Geography teacher.Great career choice.)Thinking back,those courses in Polytechnic seems to be made for me.Haha.Of course,it is ridiculous to say that,but it is where i want to go now.The worst thing is,i am only realising this halfway through my JC studies.Great huh.Finding how wrong i am only halfway through the mistake.I shouldve done this,i shouldve done that.Shouldve,wouldve,couldve.All the regrets.What the hell am i doing here,like my friend Shariffah used to say when her results are not desireable.What the hell am i doing in this shithole.It is on totally different side of the "Interest" scale that i am wondering why i even bothered to go there.Two years in NS,enough time for me to think it through.Had a chat with my mom,and she adviced me to look before myself at the As and decide later.Two years for soul searching,is indeed a long time.I wonder if i have time to search for my soul at all,considering the fact that i might be busy searching for my limbs on the battlefields.Discouraging thought.Leave it.Life sucks.I seldom say that,but life really sucks now.

Song of the Moment---This Year by Chantal Kreviazuk

Song of the Day:
Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk



There's something in your eyes
Makes me want to lose myself
Makes me want to lose myself
In your arms
There's something in your voice
Makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
The rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And they'll know I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to call my love
And change my life the way you've done

It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

A window breaks
Down the long dark street
And a siren wails
In the night
But I'm all right
Cuz I have you here with me
And I can almost see
Through the dark there is light

Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you were making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong...

Of the Midnight Zombies
Staying up all night watching television has been a common hobby for most people.After all,it is one of those rare moments whereby nobody would threaten your posession of the remote control.Everyone would probably be sleeping,and you are king of the living room,for now.If you have cable television,or a pioneer at midnight television programme surfing,you'll know what i am talking about next.After 12 midnight,the television programmes are dominated by reruns of shows showed earlier on in the day.A couple of years ago,they were dominated by TV Innovation programmes,asking you to buy pots,dish washers,vacuum cleaners,yada yada.Sometimes people just watch these mindless,intelligence lowering programmes for the sake of watching them.They didnt want to sleep.The result?A zombie with two sacks of bags hanging from their eyelids and a remote control in the right hand.Damn.Everything's the same,and for some reason you are sitting through the night watching shows like that because there is simply no other choices.

Ah.Life is like that for now.At least for people in the educational system.Life now,is just like the your channel surfing time after midnight.Everything becomes a rerun,where everything's the same and you havent got much of a choice.Let me guess.You wake up in the morning,you brush your teeth and change into your uniform to go to school.Some lucky souls like me might be able to have breakfast while others might not,then you take a bus or a car,perhaps even get to school on foot.You drag your big bag and butt around school the whole day,and you get home feeling exhausted to do nothing more than a good bathe and a soft mattress.Homeworks?Leave it for later.You start doing your homeworks at 10pm,ends up finishing them or partially finishing them anyway,at 12mn or 1am.Then the whole thing recycles and starts over the moment your clock rings and you open your eyes opens.You start to wonder,

"I did all these yesterday,didnt i?"

Its all a bloody rerun,in which the people at the local broadcasting center never bothered to change new programmes.(Kind of like MediaCorp really.I mean,how often do you see a movie labelled as a "TV Premier"?)For some reasons,we are not switching channels.There might be other more interesting channels,or perhaps something outside that small box of your television.But the bulk of us never bothered to step out of that little box and perhaps do something more exciting.We are all the what i'll like to call,a "Midnight Zombie".Well,save for the remote controls,we are close to that description.People are actually getting used to the fact that the channels are being recycled and going over and over again.Thats pathetic and sad.No one is doing anything about it,and your channel surfing life is dominated by the same show.Think about it.When you are thirty years old and you are ask to testify your youth.What would be the first thing that comes to your mind?Study,study,and more studies.Sad huh.We are 18 year old youngsters,and we are wasting our youth away.Three more years before we are deemed as adults.Three more years left to enjoy your youth,and for the past 10 odd years we have been dominated by studies.What a sad country with a sad bunch of "Midnight Zombies" who are NOT sick by the same broadcasted programmes.Sad.Truly sad.

Song of the moment---Acoustic #3 by Goo Goo Dolls

Of the Certificate of the Forgotten
I was talking to a friend of mine a while ago.He asked me if i am happy now,that everything is over.By everything,i mean whatever that has got to do with her.He said,"Moving on is good.As long as you are happy,right?".That question never occured,and i paused my fingers on my keyboards for a while.Stunned,i was.Perhaps caught unnoticed.Yeah,am i or am i not happy.After much thought,i replied,"But i am not."

It is true,that i am not a happier person than i was a few months ago.I dont feel much different,and thats bad i guess.I shouldve known,that forgetting wouldnt make much of a difference,so i might as well have done it a long time ago.I still wake up in the morning feeling suicidal,i still eat my food and enjoy it to the very last grain of rice,i still go to the toilet and read a book or a magazine every single time,i still go to bed at night thinking about how my parents might think that im gay.(Not that they are suspicious,but having a son not attached at the tender age of 18 isnt a very usual thing is it?A possible answer to that question might be homosexuality.)I still do the same old thing everyday,and forgetting isnt doing much of a difference.They say,that you cannot lose what you never got.Yeah,thats so true.So very true.Perhaps thats why everything's the same.I see her online once in a while,and then i tell myself,"So what?".Her name no longer raises an eyebrow,and her newly uploaded pictures no longer excites me.The truth is,i feel that i do not have a purpose after i chose to forget.I mean,i used to do things with her in my mind.Thinking that maybe i can tell her about this,maybe i can buy her this and that,maybe i can bring her here.Nowadays,i do things without her in my mind.Yeah,that kinda sucks.To have nothing in sight,and not purpose in doing things.Point of advice:Perhaps i shall find other purposes.True,very true.When did doing things need to have purpose anyway?I mean,i can do things because i like to do it,because i want to do it,because i love to do it.Who cares,if she is going to benefit from it in any way or not?Friends still tell me stuff about her.Common reply?"I dont care.I dont want to."Sounds cold,so different from what i was.Yet,everything's the same.

Lately i have been having the weirdest dreams,and they are not pretty.I find myself sitting in bed late at night,startled.Yesterday night i dreamt of huge orange coloured spiders crawling everywhere in this lecture hall.I was inside,and one of them grabbed me from the back.Im not afraid of spiders really,but giant ones yes.I opened my eyes and almost fell off the bed,literally.Anybody ever had that experience?And then it'll take me a while to get back to sleep.Maybe that dream will come back again.Yeah,i am a scary cat in some ways.Last time,when i am scared of going back to sleep,or cannot go to sleep,i think about the possibilities of dreaming about you,since that is the only where i can see you nowadays.Now,i dont care if i do or not.And nights after nightmares are endless.It takes forever for me to sleep,and most of all,i am unwilling to.

I have been too engulfed in forgetting you nowadays,that i actually forgot that it has been a year since i last saw you.I missed that day this year,and it is weird that i dont care.Yeah,i didnt care.Screw it,i dont want to care.Life is so different and yet all so similar before and after.I am still holding the Certificate of Forgotten in my hands right now,and i am smiling at it.

Yeah.Smiling at it.I wonder how long this will last.I wonder...

Quotes of the day:
William Wallace,"There's a difference between us. You think the people of this land exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it."

William Wallace,"Lower your flags and march straight back to England, stopping at every home to beg forgiveness for a hundred years of theft, rape, and murder. Do this and your men shall live. Do it not, and every one of you will die today."

William Wallace,"Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse."

English Commander,"I hope you washed your ass this morning, it's about to be kissed by a king."

Malcolm Wallace,"It's our wits that make us men."

William Wallace,"Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace."
Soldier,"William Wallace is 7 feet tall."
William Wallace,"Yes, I've heard. He kills men by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I am William Wallace, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?"
Soldier,"Against that?No!We run!And we will live."
William Wallace,"Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin' to trade all of that from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!!!!!"

William Wallace,"Every man dies, not every man really lives."

LongShanks,"Bring me Wallace. Alive if possible, dead... just as good."

[To Longshanks,who was then too sick to speak.He lies in his bed while the Queen whispers to him.]
Princess Isabelle,"You see? Death comes to us all. But before it comes to you, know this: your blood dies with you. A child who is not of your line grows in my belly. Your son will not sit long on the throne. I swear it."

LongShanks,"Archers."
English Commander,"Beg your pardon sire, but won't we hit our own troops?"
LongShanks,"Yes,but we'll hit theirs as well.We have reserves.Attack."

LongShanks,"Not the archers. My scouts tell me their archers are miles away and no threat to us. Arrows cost money. Use up the Irish. Their dead cost nothing."

[William Wallace is dreaming, and sees the spirit of his dead wife]
William Wallace,"I'm dreaming."
Murron,"Yes, you are. And you must wake, William."
William Wallace,"I don't want to wake. I want to stay here with you."

Royal Magistrate,"The prisoner wishes to say a word."
[Before he's being beheaded.]
William Wallace," Freedom!!!!!!!!!"
---"BraveHeart"(1995)

Song of the Moment---Flying by Joe Hisaishi,from the "Spirited Away" Sountrack

Of Yet another Entry at 3am
My neighbours' out of town.They went overseas for some holiday,and they asked my mother to help them with fish feeding.Well,i guess this is only returning the flavour.Every time we go back to Taiwan,they would be the one feeding our fishes.They seldom go on long trips,so a visit to their home is rather rare and interesting at the same time.My mom went over to their place today to feed the fishes again.As the curious cat of the family i crept after my mother as she unlocked the front gate as if it was her home.Well,it is rather weird to enter somebody else's house without permission and wander around the places as if the house belongs to you.Which was what i did really.Flipped through their CD collection,read a few of their books,saw Mark's test papers,and even borrowed some Dvds without permission(Chariots of Fire and Lawrence of Arabia.).I feel bad about it,but i placed it back.I guess theft shouldnt even be under my consideration as a career.Im such a bad thief.Anyway,while my mother was feeding the fishes,she asked me to watch the plants for her.And so i went to their balcony and watered those plants.The view on their balcony is so different,and yet everything is so familiar.School is on the right,the bus stop down below,the estate behind the school,and i can see the town from there.Everything is so familiar yet different from up there.It was very interesting.To the left it was the bridge outside the Serangoon MRT station.The end of it is supposed to by my Secondary School.Which means the woods beside the bridge must be the cemetry.A cloud of black smoke was rising up steadily from there,and i pointed to my mother and said,"Burning bodies.".I tried leaning out of the railing to see if i can catch a glimpse of her house.Haha.Im not sure if i did,but i traced the streets and that seemed probable to be her block.Oh well,i guess i was dreaming again.Almost killed myself by doing that.Children reading this should never try that at home.

Oh well,that concluded my little adventure to the neighbour's house.Very interesting indeed.Come to think about it,i wonder what made me want to see her place so much.I guess thats what everybody does right?When you are so high,you tend to wonder where your friends live and start tracing the roads.The view is so great,and you want to find such a small thing in such a big picture.Its just like tracing the one in your heart.Just imagine roads upon the heart,and you trace through it to find the right person.I guess,Ive come to a dead end.Even worse,i crashed into it and fainted in front of the bloody wall.Took me a while to pick myself up,dust myself off,and realise that i actually banged into a wall.I guess i shall put my car to reverse,go back to the junction,and continue on this road.You are merely a dead end in the corner of the street and nothing more.I was lost,and very much confused over my whereabouts.Mind is clear,moving on!Pluck the key,step on the pedal,ready to take on the road again.

As i leaned out from the balcony,a cold breeze swept across my face.I was refreshed,and smiled.

I wonder why i am typing this every night at 3am.Hmm.It's 3am,i must be lonely...Check out this song by Matchbox 20.Its only part of the lyrics,but its cool.Its called "3am".Haha.How suitable.

She believes that life is made up of all that you're used to
And the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days, and days
She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway
But outside it's stopped raining

Baby,It's 3am I must be lonely...

It's 3am I must be lonely...

Song of the Moment---3am by MatchBox 20

Of the Entry at 3am
Upon reading the tag earlier,i dont know if i should grieve or simply laugh the whole thing off.Perhaps,i need time to get used to the fact that ive gotten over her.Yeah,perhaps thats it.I mean,i cannot do the transition in that short amount of time right?Its like time difference between countries.You dont expect to throw someone from Singapore to American and expect him to sleep at 10pm.Thats impossible.Anyway,whoever the tagger was,i guess i should thank him/her for telling me.After all,it isnt healthy to keep waiting for the day when she moves on with her own love life.Not that she ever stopped for me anyway.All im saying is,ive been telling myself that one day she'll like someone,she'll be attached to someone,she'll be married to someone,she'll be happy with someone,she'll love someone,she'll die a happy woman.The saddest part about this story is that that someone is not me.I guess,ive just began to realise that fact.Ok,no worries.To be honest i feel that i am taking this way better than i wouldve.I mean,i expected myself to fall into a deep moodswing again and start listening to some really sappy love songs.Haha.Instead,i playing some brainless shooting games and started shouting vulgarities at every bots i kill.It is odd,but vulgarities work wonders.Haha.She's actually dating him,how great.How nice.Someone finally managed to ask her out.Thats wonderful.Someone broke that barrier and got through to her.Thats simply amazing.I take off my hat for you,whoever you are.Haha.Yeah,i should be thankful that i still have the mood to type 'haha'.If ive gotten over her,then she liking someone now shouldnt be that big a deal,right?Well,then why cant i sleep at 330am?Im still wide awake,and ive been thinking about it for the past three hours or so.Oh well,i guess more shooting games and more vulgarities might work.Thinking back,i used to sit alone on the balcony and think about you.Lately,i havent been doing that.I guess thats a first step to the brighter path?Haha.Perhaps,perhaps.You name is starting to mean nothing to me.Even your pictures are no more than just mere pictures.And as to whether you are going to the concert in July or not,i dont even care now.I am going to go with Ahmad,and have some great fun.I am going to enjoy myself there,and not care if you turn up or not.Because you never do,and you never will.I shall not have expectations,and remain a happy man that night.Yes,that is exactly what i am going to do.

Though ive said all those stuff,i wonder if i mean it.Maybe its just the impulsive side of me acting on my fingers and mind.Think about it,if whatever i said is true then why cant i sleep?I am not sobbing,i am not crying,hell i dont even feel sad about it.Why cant i sleep?Why cant i sleep?Maybe in nightmares,you cannot sleep.You only wake up.And i think i should wake up now.Shh,just wake up.If you ever need me,just call me.I will be around the bent,by my phone,behind your back.Quoting a lyrics from David Gates' song,"If a man can be two places at once,i might be with you.Tomorrow and today,beside you all the way." I wanted to be someone like that in your life,but i guess that position has been replaced.But hey,we all set out with the same purpose didnt we?To make sure that you have someone to share the tears and joys.Yeah,haha.So whoever's in that position,should and must make sure that he does his job well.In which case,i just hope that he makes you happy.And if he doesnt,i'll make sure he goes home to his mother with a wet pants.

And this reminds me of an awesome John Mayer song from his 'Heavier Things' album.It's called 'Wheels',and i think it describes things perfectly now.

Wheel
by John Mayer

People have the right to fly
And when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along
Let's move it along

And airports
See it all the time
With someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last,
To love her

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first
To love me

You can find me, if you ever want to give
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around,
I'll be around

And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it

I believe that my life's gonna see...

The love I give...

Returned to me......

*Chuckles*Why am i still awake?Why am i not asleep?Why cant i sleep?A part of me tells me that i shouldnt,and this is not the way that i should be acting.I should be sad,i should be depressed.Yeah,maybe i should.But i choose not to.Be a rebel,a rebel of love.Though every part of my body might tell me that it is wrong to not feel a thing,i am not going to care.Its probably one of those false feelings.Remember how every part of my body told me that she was IT?Yeah,see how wrong they can get.They are probably wrong again.I should feel this way,and that is to laugh it off.HAHA!There,its done...

I believe that my life's gonna see...

The love i give...

Returned to me...

Of the Lack of Updates
Millions of apologies for the lack of updates.But then again,how many people actually reads my blog nowadays anyway?Especially after the password i placed upon this blog,i guess the number of readers greatly decreased.I guess i just had to take a break.Anyway,here is an update on what i have been doing since the last entry.

Of being Lethargic
It is the holidays,and like my friend said there is always an underlying struggling when it comes to studying during the holidays.Everyone is stuck now in this holidays,wondering whether to study for the mid years or not.I must admit,studying for it is important.After all,screwing it up means screwing up your self esteem.Your A levels probably wouldnt be too well after that anyway.But the fact that it is a holiday,makes things a little more complicated than usual.One reason for it,is the definition of the word itself.Or perhaps,how we were trained to do during holidays.Eat,sleep,televisons and the usual.Basically,enjoyment.Not that i havent studied during the holidays before.In fact,studying during the March and September holidays had been a norm for me since i stepped into hell aka Junior College.However,never this long a holiday and this much to study.The holiday is halfway through and nothing much is done.Panickin?Of course,but i havent got much enthusiasm to do anything,anyway.I feel lethargic,and the worst thing is i am allowing myself to be lethargic.At the end of the day,im probably going to lose out.But hell,i dont seem to care.Ten years in this accursed education system,anybody would be bored of it.In fact,ten years of anything is boring.You ask me to party for ten years and i'll probably bury myself in two.Argh.It is such a pain to flip open books during holidays,and it really stinks like hell.

Of Staying Up All Night
Krishna and Samuel stayed over at my place on Thursday night.Krishna was leaving for Indonesia on Friday,and he just wanted to spend some time with his buds.Well,it was fine with me.So i set the beds,moved the sofa and got ready for their arrival.They wanted to study,but Samuel ended up sleeping while we played lots of games on my computer.We didnt sleep the whole night,and i stayed up to type this story i am working on.(Details to be given later.)We played games until about 3am,and Samuel was knocked out.And as for Krishna,he fell asleep on my sofa at 330am.I was left alone in the room,and i started typing my story while playing Chopin over my computer.(Literally,that is.)Oh well,the night drew on and come to think about it,it is the second time i am staying up the whole night to do something.When i was in Taiwan i used to do things like that too,but i managed to catch an hour or two of sleep.This time,i went all the way till morning.Anyway,i woke Krishna up at 430am,and we started talking.Man talk,ladies wouldnt be interested anyway.Haha.I tried to sleep,but couldnt.Since the game he was playong was too loud,and this song kept going through my mind.Sometimes,when you are too tired,you cant sleep.It is a weird thing,at least that happens to me.Anyway,we talked about his diary,and i read a few entries of his.Haha.To be honest,even though some of his entries are classified under the "Restricted" zone,i couldnt read them.He's handwriting still suck.Though i am pretty pleased that my name was mentioned in a couple of entries.It is always nice to see your name mentioned,isnt it?Anyway,Samuel woke up at 8.30am,and he started playing games again while Krishna slept.Haha.It was fun,and it is nice to be doing that with old friends again.Something i wouldnt do with my JC friends.(Most are girls,what can i do?I dont think they'd allow themselves to spend the night in the same room with a guy.)Oh well,he's probably in Indonesia now,and enjoy yourself there dude.It is boring there according to you but,make the best out of it i guess?;)

Of Books and Novels
Ive been working on this story i have in mind since the beginning of the holidays.At the start of this week i finally began writing it on my computer.Personally,and honestly,i am not a great writer.In fact,after reading through a few paragraphs i realised why Mr Ragu had so much ease while failing my essays back in Secondary School.Oh well,cant be blamed.Not everybody writes very well.I guess my talent for writing exists only here in blogs.Expressing feelings,and not stories.Haha.Sad,but true.Anyway,friends of mine should know what genre of book i am working on.Yeah,you got that right.Fantasy.Ive been trying on different sorts of books since i was in Primary School.Comics and GooseBumps in Primary School to SciFi and Thriller in Secondary School.At the late end of Secondary School,thanks to Timothy i picked up The Lord of the Rings and fell in love with Tolkien's writing.Tolkien created a mythology for England,which had very little mythology to speak of really.(King Arthur is not an English Mythology.It is actually from France.)Anyway,any fantasy novels after that must have some sort of connection with his story one way or another.Even C.S Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia had influences.Not to mention the Harry Potter series.(The Cave Troll,Dementors,WormTail,Giant Spiders.Ringing any bells?)Oh well,my own storys struggled when trying to leave the Tolkien influence behind.But i guess i got over the fact that his influence cannot be denied,and continued writing.Anyway,there are 25 chapters altogether,and i am currently on chapter 11.Haha.Almost 30000 words.I cant believe myself.Perhaps i should be the next Christopher Paulini.His book "Eragon" went to bestsellers everywhere,and he is 19 years old.19 years old.I have a year to catch up.Just you wait!Krishna is a book enthusiast,and we both agreed to exchange novels at the end of the holidays.He himself is working on one,with relations to "Good Will Hunting".(I think.)Basically,it deals with human nature,and finding the trueself within oneself sorta thing.I can never understand,but with his skills of writing i do not doubt that that would be a problem.Anyway,i was thinking of a colaboration.He is good at writing and i am good at imagining,why not we write my story together.Haha.I am thinking about sending it to some publisher to get it published.Oh well,dreams and more dreams.I am pursueing it,and whether i can get there is still a problem.It is a milestone,that is for sure.

The story starts with a war upon the Fields of Redika.The forces of darkness attacks from the South,and the King's son,the Prince of Noventine was defeated during the battle and was slayed by the "Cloaked and Nameless".The King was dismayed,and through the witch,Lady Valdina,he meets the Forsakened Angel,who gives him four seeds which grows into four fruits.These fruits are to be given to four children of the king's choice,and they shall be the bane to the darkness' existence.Tristan,Johanna,Yavanna and Lancent were the chosen one,and together with Lady Valdina and Ethecton,the king's trusted man,they set out on an adventure to the centre of the land of darkness upon a flying ship.On the journey they meet ghostly pirates,ferocious wolves,flying terror and then Lord of Narathak himself.A battle is than raged upon the skies of Noventine,between thousands of flying ships while another battle occurs before the City of Aros.(Think about the scene with thousands of ships in Troy,without the water.And the orcs attacking Minas Tirith in The Return of the King.Put the first scene in the sky,then insert that image into the second scene.Yeah,thats what i have in mind.)

Ive figured out all the plot twists and stuff.After some reviews from friends,it is a good story.Damn,i cannot write very well.Hopefully someone could help?

Of Getting Over
I am proud to say,that i have finally gotten over her.Friends mention her to me nowadays once in a while,and i am not excited by it at all.Is this a sad thing?To be able to get over someone?I guess technically it is a good thing.After all,one man cannot stay forever in the past and dwell not in the future.Friends like Ahmad asked me go on,while friends like Corinna advice me to move on.Everything advices like that come along,i take it silently.I guess this time,ive learnt to live life the way Corinna asked me to.Moving on,it was easier than i thought.If i did that last year,things wouldve been a lot easier i guess?Anyway,i got over her.Thats the main point.But moving on to what?I dont know.Most people would expect someone to move on to the next target.But i havent got a target to move on to.Haha.I am thinking that i might end up like Sizemore!(A character i saw in a movie while having lunch this afternoon.)Oh no,lifeless.Stays at home and collects old records.Hating his own hobby and unable to relate to 99% of the world's population.He claims that he lives in another world and another dimension.Oh well,i might just end up as Sizemore #2.I feel the same way too sometimes.Anyway,she's over and done.Finished and gone.She's over.Though i told myself that,there's still a slight sour rush to my nose,when it comes to forgetting her.I know this is not totaly erasure of memory whatsoever,i know i can still look back,but i guess i just miss the days when i can wake up in the morning to know that she's going to be around my mind,and be the motivation for me to move on.We made a promise,to go to the same university once.I guess that dream might might stay as a dream after all.Anyway,i am proud to say that ive gotten over her,and thats that.Departure is sad,but inevitable i guess?

Song of the Moment---If I Aint Got You by Alicia Keys

Of the Poem i Write.Again.

Not my best work yet.But hell,haha.Who cares.Random scribbling,quoted from Timothy Harries.;)

At the airport within my heart,
I waved goodbye,pierced by a dart.
A smile,blended with a sigh,
"She loves you not!"says the signs.

The words i spoke,the passport to hell.
Why did i say that?Even time cannot tell.
I said,"Write me when you get there."
She smiled,but never cared.

Your plane took off.
I watched,and my eyes already sore.
Through the glasses,you flew away,
Reflection of me says,"Yeah,you made it this way."

So it was me,who conjured this act.
It is also me,who cannot contain this fact.
Please stop saying,"I told you."
For i loved her so,didnt you too?

If love exists,nothing else mattered.
But i am the soldier in a battle,torn and battered.
I shouldve known,i mightve known.
Cold and emotionless,those your eyes shown.

Now that you are in the distant land,
Leaving me here,with cold strikened hand.
Thinking back,it was me all along.
Havent thought that way,so very long.

Secrets revealed,questions answered.
Why did you leave?I am not concerned.
The unknown ahead,the past behind.
The road under,with you inside.

Nothing but a memory,but one that i wish to keep.
Bittersweet they are,though they make me weep.
We know that life is imperfect,
But thats what makes life,perfect.

Song of the Day:
Name by The Goo Goo Dolls



And even though the moment passed me by,
I still can't turn away.
I saw the dreams you never thought you'd lose,
Tossed along the way.
Letters that you never meant to send,
Lost or thrown away.

And now we're grown up orphans,
That never knew their names.
Don't belong to no one that's a shame.
You could hide beside me maybe for a while,
And I won't tell no one your name.
I won't tell em' your name...

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star?
Don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more that who we are?

You grew up way too fast,
And now there's nothing to believe;
And reruns all become our history.
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio,
and I won't tell no one your name.
I won't tell em' your name...
I won't tell em' your name...
I won't tell em' your name...

I think about you all the time.
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down,
And I won't tell em your name...

Of the Silenced Day
Today can be summed up with 5 messages i saved in my handphone.Typed by myself.

"Ok,so when was the last time i spoke?Or made a slight sound at all?Oh yes,the 1956th time i sighed just now.Just wanted to keep track.If i keep quiet like that any longer my tongue is going to roll back into my throat and choke myself to death.But wait,why not?It might be pretty exciting,wouldnt it?"

"Wow,im actually enjoying this moment of solitude.Interesting,isnt it.Something i wouldnt have thought of 1 1/2 years go.My legs are sore,and everything's so loud.I am following everybody around blindly,and i am bored.Shopping with a bunch of girls isnt the most exciting thing in the world.Especially when they are shopping for "personal" things,the guys must stay away and off."

"Kill me."

"Shoot me."

"God,smite me with your lightning."

I was quiet the whole day.I didnt know why.While they laughed and talked away,i either sat quietly in a corner,or tapped the table with my fingers to the beat of the John Mayer CD i just bought.(Heavier Things.)The rest of the day was just walk,stop.Walk somemore,stop.Normally,i wouldve gave an opinion or two,but today i didnt say anything.I felt that i wanted and needed to get out of that place as soon as possible.I was boredom strikened,and i was hungry.I wonder if i disappear,they might notice it.Too busy looking through clothes and price tags?I dont blame them.Girls,what can i do?Its in them,to do things like that.Wasnt the best day.Its not even close to average.I know i made it uninteresting for myself,but what the hell can i do.Oh yes,i turned the volume of my discman way up so people's mouth moved with no words coming out.Bliss.

I am so worn out,and irritated now.Nothing seems interesting,let me just die.

Of the Bet that Paid Off
Really wanted to get away from school today.In fact,i was so desperate to do that,i actually sprang across the soccer field to the bus stop today.Haha.Yeah,i dont know why.Everything just made me feel so uncomfortable and awkward.Argh.Ive planned to watch "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" with Krishna and Samuel today,and i was about to head to town to meet them.I ended early,and after a brief stop at the toilet i took the bus to Bishan and headed for town.I met Krishna first,and we lunched at YoshiNoya.Haha.Samuel was supposed to arrive at 130pm,but apparently he got lost in Takashimaya.(Yes,he got lost in Takashimaya.)So me and Krishna had to go around looking for him,with 2 mere clues.An "Exit" sign in front of him and a Levis shop behind.Great clues.It didnt take us long to find him anyway.But just as we were about to leave,two ladies popped up in front of us.They claimed that they were from ShangHai,and they were playing this game,to see who can get 50 phone numbers in one hour.I looked around for a camera at first,wonder if its a game show.But apparently it was not,and they were haunting Krishna with perfect chinese,so i didnt care much,until Krishna told them that he did not understand a word they were saying,then i started to worry.Because Samuel was nowhere to be seen,and they started targetting me.Argh.ShangHai bitches,why would i want to give a shit about whether you win or lose.To get out of the situation,i played along with them.Gave them my number,my name,and went off.Argh.Irritating.Those two "friends" were hiding upstairs while i was left with the two crazy woman.Oh god.We headed for Kinokuniya,and met Ben along the way.Haha.Great guy,and we had a great chat together.

3pm soon approached,and we headed back to Lido.Haha.We were early,and started playing TaiTee.Thank god we kept the cards before that security guard came along.Phew.Anyway,its nice to see everyone together again.Haha.They are bloody nice people to talk to,and man i had a blast.Haha.For some reason,i found myself talking much more to them than to anybody else.I felt so much more comfortable than i was in the morning.Argh.So much better now.Haha.Really.Ben and Krishna told us about the happenings in CJC,while we told them about NYJC.Of course,much of it were complains.Haha.I mean,no gel?Plain dumb.We went into the cinema,and the movie soon started.(Reviews will come up later.)

After the movie,Ben had to leave because he was tired.(Went to Beach Road and came back.Pretty tiring.)So the three of us headed for Takashimaya to buy ribbons.Krishna wanted them to wrap his sister's birthday present.Haha.Good brother,really cool.Haha.We took a bus to Esplanade soon after,and headed for the library upstairs.I havent been to the library before really.In fact,i havent been inside Esplanade.Haha.Yeah,i live in the hills and i am a bloody mushroom.The library is cool,with a cafe inside as well as a fully automated piano.Awesome.It was pretty quiet inside,creating a huge contrast between that and our school's library.The best thing was,that you can actually borrow Dvds from this library.No boring textbooks here,no storybooks whatsoever.Every book was about movies,music,and other art related stuff.AWESOME.Really fantastic.My new hangout.Yay.Haha.We sat down at the tables along the windows,and fished out our textbooks to study.(Yeah,i actually felt like studying.Cool huh.)The window overlooked the skyline of the city.Fine,maybe not the skyline.But at least the city lights.Pretty cool.Fullerton was across the river,blazing bright as the day darkened.It was on the third floor,and on the fourth was sorta like an open air garden for people to admire the "Durian" like structures,as well as the "Merlion".Oh well,pretty good place to date really.And we actually spotted couples smooching there as well studied.Wow.They went on for the longest time i know man.Mustve been a record.Even when a couple of people were standing close by,they didnt even care about them and went on.Wow.Samuel said he saw 4 couples at the stairwell smooching.God.That place must be a dating/smooch/sex haven.Haha.Better jot down the locations,couples out there.Haha.The library actually had CD players mounted on the walls,and you can actually borrow CDs from the library and listen to it there,or simply slot in your own.Haha.I must admit that the sound quality wasnt that great,but hell it was cool.Haha.We studied till 830pm,and it was getting late.We were all hungry,and headed towards Raffles Place for a late dinner.The hot plate sucked,but i ate it anyway.Yucks.Yucks.Haha.There,we ended our day.It was extremely fun guys.Havent enjoyed myself so much in months.We gotta hang out more.Haha.Song bo?

Oh yes,Krishna helped me to borrow some Dvds from that library,since he is a member and he goes there almost every week,he figured it wouldnt hurt to help me borrow some Dvds.Haha.I borrowed "The Princess Bride" and "In The Bedroom".Two movies ive been anticipating.Haha.Woah!Love it.Thank you Krishna.;)

Review of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind



How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd
Alexander Pope, 'Eloisa to Abelard' 1717

First off,i never really liked Charlie Kaufman's works.Adaptation,Being John Malkovich to name a few.I turned Being John Malkovich off within an hour.Go figure.His scripts tend to be over the top.Very different from traditional scripts.It goes around the bush and beyond believes to tell people a story.Well,thats fine.But you have to watch Being John Malkovich to believe what i said.And really,i did not understand the movie at all.A man finding a hole in his office,which leads to John Malkovich's brains,and you get to be him for one whole day.Sounds interesting?Till you watch the movie.Anyway,so i am not very fond of Charlie Kaufman's work.Not to mention his long time partner,director Michael Gondry.I had doubts about this movie,despite the numerous positive comments and reviews about this movie.Roger Ebert gave it 3 1/2 stars,James Berardinelli too.How bad can it get?Haha.Alright,i was a little convince,but i was still scared.My mom asked me to take the bet,and i took it.It paid off.VERY,well.

The movie talks about Joel Barish(Jim Carrey),an introvert as well as a loner,meeting the exact opposite of his personality,Clementine Kruczynski(Kate Winslet)on a beach.Impulsive,out going.Thats Clementine.He falls madly in love with her,and she too as soon as they met.They were on totally different ends of the scale,and there is no way you can see them ever being in love with each other.They went along fine,until they had a huge fight,when Clementine came home at 3am.They broke up,and both of them were very upset.Joel lived in depression,and eventually he went to Dr. Howard Mierzqwiak(Tom Wilkinson) of the Lacuna Inc for help.Lacuna Inc is set up by Dr. Howard Mierzqwiak,and it with is break through technology it helps people to erase their troubled and painful memories.Initially,he only seeked for his advice.However,he ended up going through the operation,after knowing that Clementine also went through the same procedure and erased Joel from her memory.Dr. Howard Mierzqwiak's associates,Stan(Mark Ruffalo) and Patrick(Elijah Wood),are in charged of erasing painful memories.One night,they visit Joel,and started the operation.Joel was happy at first,that Clementine was being erased from his memory.He was impulsive,and most of all,he was sad.The memories of them kept going off,until he came to the good memories that they had together.Joel didnt want to let that part of their memory go.So,he convinced Clementine in his memory,and he tries to pull her through different memories that Joel has,to prevent Clementine from being deleted by Stan and Patrick.He found out that,though he hated her so much,there were still moments in their relationships,that he was too reluctant to let go.

The movie,was awesome.I loved every second of it.It begins with Joel waking up to a bad day.His car was badly scratched,and he was pissed off.As he was about to head for work at the train station,he took off suddenly to the opposite platform and took a train to whichever place it led.He didnt know why he did it,but he just wanted to get away from his life for a while.As the movie progresses,you see how Joel struggles with his own memories,as well as his struggle to get Clementine away from the reach of Stan and Patrick,by hiding themselves deep within other memories of his.I have to comment that though the movie used special effects,it blended so well with everything in the scene,that it is hardly noticeable.It provided a powerful image and yet,it does not overwhelm the powerful and overwhelming screenplay Charlie Kaufman wrote.The cast brought a strong and solid acting to the movie,not to mention the receptionist/nurse,Mary(Kirsten Dunst).However,the acting that really shines through goes to Jim.The he acted out his part as the lonely guy,falling in love with every female being nice to him was great.His love with Clementine was truthfully put on screen,and the pain and agony he went through in his break up.This is arguably his best work to date.The movie was very confusing at parts,and i started to worry that my friends wouldnt understand the movie.In the end,they did.Haha.There is a scene,when Clementine and Joel were in the bookstore.Joel started pulling Clementine away from the disappearing books.The shelves and books started disappearing,and you see Joel desperately trying to grab hold of Clementine.Very nice tough by the special effects crew.A scene that touched me was a scene at the end,when Clementine kisses Joel at the beach house,which was falling apart as they spoke.Awesome.Not to mention the comic relieves in the movie.A particular scene comes to mind,when Joel goes back to his childhood days and get bullied by his friends.Mini Clementine to the rescue!That scene was delightful to watch indeed.The movie jumps backward and forward in time. Showing the events that led up to Joel's meeting with Clementine. Many movies with a non-linear plot are very hard to follow, but not here. It is integral to the movie that the past is not revealed until events in the present are understood.There are plot twists here and there in the movie,which is Charlie Kaufman's trademark.And they brings a smile to your face when you finally realises the screen writer's motives.

At the end of the day,you start to think about the quarrels youve had with your girlfriend/boyfriend,wife/husband.Then you start to imagine,how good it wouldve been if everything just disappeared and went away.If she hadnt appeared in your life at all.Bad memories,are the memories that we remember most vividly most of the time.And they are the memories,that causes us to be impulsive,to do things without thinking,which leads to regrets and more regrets.If you are in Joel's shoes,what memories would you keep.What are the painful ones you are willing to make it disappear.What draws the line,between a good memory and a bad one,when it involves the same person?The truth is,it doesnt matter if this person brought you those memories or not.The point is,you guys loved each other.On this day,you guys loved each other so much,that you sworn to love him/her forever.Next time,when one of you do something wrong to another,think about the good times you guys had,and how you guys went through the bad times.It'll only lead to regrets,and more regrets.You never know,when you might be deleted from his or her memory.Erasing from one's head is one thing.But deleting from the heart,thats the trick.This is unlike any other film I have seen. And, although I value originality in motion pictures, the primary reason I'm recommending Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with so much enthusiasm is because it's a great romance. It's willingness to flout conventions and eschew formulas is just one of many things to celebrate about this charmingly eccentric movie.

Rating:10/10

Teaser
Trailer
Clip 1
Clip 2

Quotes of the Day:
Joel,'Is there any risk of brain damage?'
Howard,'Well, technically speaking, the operation is brain damage, but on a par with a night of heavy drinking. Nothing you'll miss.'

Joel,'Can you hear me? I don't want this anymore! I want to call it off!'

Joel,'I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be.'

[As Joel and Clementine eat out, he thinks about the other glum-looking couples in the restaurant]
Joel,'Are we like couples you see in restaurants? Are we the dining dead?'

Clementine,'Meet me in Montauk.'

Clementine,'Joel, hide me in your humiliation!'

Joel,'Mierzwiak! Please let me keep this memory, just this one.'

Joel,'I can't remember anything without you.'
Clementine,'Thats sweet,But try.'

Joel,'My God, there's people coming out of your butt.'

Joel,'Valentine's Day is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.'

Joel,'I don't see anything I don't like about you.'
Clementine,'But you will! But you will, and i'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.'
Joel,'Okay...'
Clementine,'Okay...'
'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'(2004)

Song of the Moment---Love will Come Through by Travis

Of Laughters
I was supposed to go to Sentosa today.I was reluctant,yes.Firstly,its always scorching hot these couple of days,and heading for Sentosa's beach is like putting your head in an oven.Not a great idea.Second,it was pretty far,and i reckon i wouldnt have the energy to crawl back,especially after the lessons in the morning.It was pretty bad organised too.I didnt even know the time to meet whatsoever.Anyway,i agreed to go anyway.It was for LiPing after all,and it wouldnt be nice not to go.I got home,and was using my computer when Ahmad called,and said that they were already on their way to the bus stop.I changed my clothes as quickly as possible,then put on the sandals.Grabbed my guitar and stuffed the plastic cups into the guitar bag.Grabbed some loose change,my wallet and handphone and dashed out of the house.With the fastest pace i could bare,i managed to reach the bus stop in time.I met them there,and they seemed to be in no hurry.Then,Ahmad told me that the Sentosa trip is cancelled.I almost collapsed.After running so fast and forgetting my shampoo,he tells me that it is cancelled.Nevermind.If i had brought the shampoo i wouldve been more ticked off.So,i brought everything,for nothing.Haha.But it was alright.As we brainstormed where to go,we took a bus to Ahmad's house to grab LiPing's birthday present.73 stops pretty far from Ahmad's place,and we had to walk pass a couple of blocks to reach there.It ran pass the mosque,and i knew i was closing in on her house.Sigh.Yeah.There.Again.However,i didnt exactly expect Ahmad to alight right in front of her block.That was surprising.We went into the void decks and under her block.It was a familiar sight,and things were still and quiet.Peering up at the 14th floor,i could almost see that corridor i went a few months ago.I had a sudden urge to go back up there,and Ahmad didnt mind.But the girls were getting impatient,so we went on instead.Damn.Her house is just down the street from Ahmad's.Haha.I'll drop by his house next time and bypass her block too.Haha.Yeah,that wouldve been fun.

Anyway,we reached Ahmad's place.And that same place were i lost my shoes.Argh.Nevermind.I made sure the gate was locked,and i placed my sandals right inside the house.You gotta be Jerry(From Tom & Jerry) to steal that.I grabbed his guitar,and he grabbed his,and we played before his television while the girls wrapped up the presents.An American Idol 3 CD and a pair of slippers.The slippers are cool,but the CD's kinda weird.But nevermind.1250nn,and we went to take bus to head for Ang Mo Kio to meet LiPing.She was late,as she was held up in school.So we went round to the library to grab a milkshake.Normally,you go there to borrow books.But i go there for the Cafe Galilee.Haha.The milkshake is heaven.Met up with LiPing at Seoul Garden,and we started the eating.I didnt eat much really,while the rest gobbled.Nothing special went on here,just eating and more eating.Then came the games.I introduced a game i used to play with my friends in Secondary School.In which,you start by saying two alphabets."EX" for example.Then the people have to come up with words that starts with those two alphabets.Each person has 5 seconds,and LiPing lost the most times today.Haha.She was the birthday girl,so we allowed her to lose three times before any forfiet.Ahmad was the good one,and he managed to escape without anything horrible eaten.And as for XinYu,she kept losing,and she kept drinking and eating.I lost once,but thats fine.Then came the egg balancing act.I managed to balance the eggs on is rounded end.Hey,im talented at this.I should consider a profession on egg balancing.Im really good at it.The group broke up,and Ahmad and I headed back to school.He needed to get his blender while i needed to get my guitar bag.There were still lots of people hanging around in school,and we grabbed those things and hurried off.Nothing interesting here.
Ahmad came over to my place.Haha.I showed him the Friends Bloopers that i downloaded,and i swear it is the hardest ive laughed in months.He was laughing his eyeballs out,and i was punching the bed so hard it hurts.Though ive watched it so many times,seeing how Ahmad laughed was contagious.We played a demo i downloaded.Its called "PainKiller",and he had lots of fun seeing monster being slashed into tiny pieces before bursting into souls.Haha.That was fun.He actually felt dizzy after the game.(Its a first person game.)I didnt know why i laughed so hard.Its been awhile i guess,and it feels good.Really,good.Yeah,i do laugh a bit.Smile a bit.Even faked in in a couple of occasions.For these couple of months,things never really made me feel happy,or worth being happy about.A smile,and a laugh and thats the end of the story.This one,has a happy feel to it.Something i havent felt since i left my secondary school friends.Haha.Yeah.Its been fun guys.Good day.

Song of the Moment---In This Life by Chantel kreviazuk

Of the Three Wheeled Car
"Hate to break this to you,but you have to move on." was what a friend of mine told me over the SMS a few nights ago.I was a little down.Again.Moving on,what an easy word for us to say huh?Like the tagline from the "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" poster,"You can erase someone from your memory.But erasing from your heart is another story.".True enough,its easy to tell everyone,"Hey,Ive gotten over her.She's nobody anymore.From now on I'll address her as 'Who?'".Everything's easier said than done.Studying for one,takes more than just words to carry out.There's a chinese saying,which says that it is useless to have the courage and not the plan during a war.Courage is nothing more than plans on papers,and an army of one.They say that,life is a long stretch of road,where the destination is unknown.How does it end on this road of mine?Nobody's certain,since only the journey is written,and not the destination.

Just picture yourself in a convertable,driving down a long stretch of road in the middle of nowhere.Memories are behind and the world ahead.You close your eyes and feel the wind brush past your cheeks,and you let go of the wheels and let fate direct your car.You feel a few holes and bumps here and there,but the car continues on without stopping.Suddenly,you feel tired and weary.You feel like the car is stirring off course,and your eyelids feel heavy.In the distance,you see a motel.The nicest motel you've ever seen.It was empty,and it was the most beautiful human structure you've ever seen,despite it being a motel.You are tempted to grab a bite,you are desperate for a drink,you want a soft mattress as your bed tonight.Here,you can find anything you desire.You dont want to go,and you dont want to leave.Time stops,and you feel like you're in paradise.There's this lady at the motel,she serves you well.If you had a choice,you'd bring her on this long lonely journey of yours down the road,and forsake the motel and everything behind.To most travellers,she's merely another waitress at a motel.But to you,she's the most astounding woman you've ever seen.And you are glad that,you saw something in her that no one has ever seen before.At the motel,you made friends with this lady.You went to your car,and hooked out the most beautiful heart you found on the road and gave it to her.She was happy,she was glad.She smiled as you handed it to her.And for months,you thought everything went on fine,smoothly.You figured it wouldve captured her heart,and despite the fact that you have to leave the place soon,you remained stubborn and stayed behind.Then the time comes,you ran out of money.She tells you,that you have to leave the motel.You are reluctant,and you are sad.You ask if you could take her with you,but she refused.She insists on staying,because thats her job.She smiles,and she waved.It started to rain,and you couldnt drive out there in your convertable.You stay for a while,and she reluctantly made you another room.But when the clouds clear and the sun shines,she forces you out of the motel again.You have to leave,and once again you ask her to come with you.To accompany you into the unknown,but she refuses yet again.She then smiles,and walked you to the car.Just as you are about to open the car door,she hands back the heart you gave her earlier,and pressed it into your arms.You stopped,and looked at her."It was meant to be a gift,keep it."you said.Though however unwilling,she accepted it once more.But it was now crushed and broken.So fine were the pieces that it wouldve fit through the hole in a needle.You know you have to carry on this journey alone once more,with nothing but the stars as your guide and lonliness as company.You shake the thoughts off,and say that you can get over it.Its chicken feet.You step back into the car,and starts the engine.You drove around the curb,and you look down the road ahead.Its empty,and dark.But you press yourself on.Looking back,you see the motel now no more than a speck of light in the distance.But you could still see her there,waving and smiling.You start to regret,and you feel like turning back.But you cant.So weeks past,months past,and years went by,and that speck of light is always in the distance.Suddenly,you feel as if your car is shaking,and you couldnt drive smoothly.You parked it at the side,and looked back.The car had a missing wheel.Thinking back,you mustve left it back at the motel a year ago.Though you forced yourself to move on,but there'll always be something left behind.Which reminds you why nothing went on as you wish for the past year.Because the car is missing a wheel.You cant continue without that wheel,but you know there's still a long way ahead.You start your car again,and with those three wheels left you continue on.Slowly,but gradually,you pressed on.

Ive drove so far without the 4th wheel,and i only realised that i left it with you.Journey of Life doesnt seem to be complete without the 4th wheel,without you.Something's left behind,and what can i do about it.I have to move on,to press on,to forget,no regrets.Someday,this will all come to past,and i will soon come to realise that,there is no turning back.Though the car's a little shaky with the wheel left behind,i can still drive it.All i hope,is that you will keep that wheel of mine.Perhaps someday,i might drive by to pick it up.Hopefully,that wheel may remind you,that once in your life,this traveller gave you his heart,and left in the car with three wheels.So the chapter with the motel ends,and you move on with life.Still fearing the unknown ahead,but fearing more of the void in your heart and mind.Something's still missing,but now you know it.

Here ends,the story of the Motel and the Three Wheeled Car.

Song of the Moment---Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit