Of the Girl Crying on the Phone
An entry concerning Bernice and her team.
No,no girl called me and cried.At least not recently.It was a long time ago.However,it has something to do with what i am going to say.So bear with me.Here we go.

Today,my class skipped General Paper lecture to go support Bernice and our school's volleyball team once again at CCAB.I did not go with them,because like i said,i was tired.I know this might not be the most valid reason to not support your friend play an important game.But after considering the number of people going,i dismissed the idea.3 bus load of JC1s were there.Not to mention some of the JC2s as well as SA people.Anyway,i got home and took a long nap.I woke up to find LiuYin online.She went to the game,and i asked her about the score.The guys won,but the girls did not.To be honest,i never thought that the lost will have much impact on Bernice and gang.Because i thought that as long as they win the next two matches they'll be fine.However,LiuYin said that our school is already out of the championships.I got worried.Not about the team,but Bernice.Since the beginning of the year we saw how Bernice worked hard to gain her spot in the team.How she wanted to prove herself as a worthy player.Perhaps not as good as our ex star players last year,or the national player we have currently in our team,but someone whose presence cannot be ignored and denied.She worked hard.And we saw it with our eyes.She placed priority upon volleyball and nothing else.When the J1s came in,she was really worried that they might not be as good,and that the team might not be able to get into the finals like they did last year.We saw how much she is dedicated to volleyball,and volleyball only.Im never a sportsman.I am never good at sports.However,i know the feeling of losing.Like the previous entry about Kelly,losing stinks.Its labels you.It flashes the sign right out in your face.A sign which reads:All your efforts are wasted.Sometimes,we have to face the facts that we lost.Losing is not the end.To deal with losing,is important.I heard from LiuYin that Bernice and the rest of the team cried after the game.To some extent,im glad that i did not go to the game.I wont know what to do,or say to her to comfort her.Ive had experiences with people like that,and to tell you the truth,i think i have a phobia with crying girls.

3 years ago,while i was still a kid in Secondary 2,seeing some of my friends getting into an immature and childish relationship got me jealous and envious.Afterall,like kids comparing how many Pokemon cards they have collected,the losing side would always be the jealous side.I had a friend whom Ive got to know online.She was nice,and we got along very well.We've never seen each other before,save for this occasion when we sent each other our neoprints.Other than that,we communicated through phone calls.Sometimes,talking late into the night.We call each other everyday,despite our parent's constant naggings and scoldings.We talked about anything and everything,and sometimes share our problems and happiness.To be honest,the only difference between our relationship then with a real couple relationship was confession.Other than that,it was almost like an on going relationship.One night,she called my home.I picked up,and we talked.She sounded sad,and she wanted me to talk to her.And so i did.Back then,i was a bad listener.Being in a all boys school limited the amount of contact i have with members of the opposite sex.Therefore,i didnt know how to deal with certain situations.Anyway,so we talked on the phone.She told me how her parents pressurized her about her results.About how she's not doing as well as they've expected,when she was already doing best.I still remember i was sitting in my room alone at midnight talking to her alone while others were sleeping.Suddenly,she started sobbing,then cried on the phone.That was the first time a girl actually cried while talking to me.I panicked and didnt know what to do.Or say.I mean,what should i say in order to comfort her?Nothing seemed fitting for the situation.I wanted to keep quiet,but that wouldnt sound right.So i tried saying something encouraging,or funny.But she kept crying.So there,in the middle of the night,i sat on my bed alone with her on the phone,crying softly through the reciever.I let her cry her hearts out,with me on the other end,quiet.I knew i had to say something,nothing came.If i have the chance,i'll go back in time and say something.Perhaps to make her feel a little better of herself.I lost contact with her.After Secondary Two our workload increased.And slowly,we drifted apart.If i have the chance,i wouldve done everything i could to make her feel differently.Oh well,that was one of my first crushes to be honest.I wonder where she is now,if she still remembers me.I wonder if she has anyone to cry to on the phone when she has problems.I wonder if she needs me at all.However,it was a crush.Nothing more.As a kid,i didnt take it seriously.At least i think i didnt.

Back to the point,i wouldnt know what to say to Bernice that might sound right.That might help her.Sometimes,keeping quiet might be the only way out.Because this is a battle within which we cannot interfere.She is online now.I wanted to click on her nick.Perhaps say something encouraging.But i know nothing would help her.Maybe she just needs time to think things through,to accept defeat.Who am i to say this anyway.Im not even THAT close to her or anything.I guess i have a soft spot for crying girls.Haha.Yeah,maybe.Perhaps it is the image Bernice shows the world.The Ber-ttercup image.How she stands up for the class,her friends and herself.How she has that "Never Say Die" and "Die Die Lah!" attitude.To see her cry,is like seeing the moon turning green.She needs time,and no one can do anything about it.Life goes on i guess,like we all say.Life is like a volleyball game,and you are the volleyball.You hit the volleyball and it hits the ground,its bound to bounce back up.One day,you will bounce back up again.I guess thats what i can do,as a classmate.Damn,i wasnt even there.Haha.Perhaps things didnt turn out as bad as Ive imagined.Who cares.Just my two cents worth.Night.