Of Fear and Hesitation
This morning i woke up with a burning back.I guess its pretty badly burnt.Mom said it was bright red,almost purple yesterday.God.That sounded bad.After much medicine i guess it's not going to peel as badly as it wouldve been.My hands are fine,at least they dont hurt when i rub fingers over them.So i woke up this morning with a burning sensation in the back.For a moment there,i thought it was Sunday morning.But it was really just Saturday.Haha.You dont know how happy i was to realise that.Anyway,so i got off my bed and started off my weekend routine.Breakfast/Lunch came first.Ate that,and surfed the computer.Clicked on Internet Explorer and saw that i had 2 new mails in my Inbox.Ive been recieving mostly junk mails from Apple.com,Movie Newsletter,ImageStation,you name it.I assumed that they'll be junk mails again,so i was all prepared to delete them all.However,to my surprise they were from Rs.She finally had her own email address,and added me to her Msn list.Well what a pleasent thing to see on a Saturday morning.And so i added her to my list.I hesitated for a while.I didnt know if i should do this or not.If i should press the "Ok" button.Im not sure if i should do this or not.Afterall,its been awhile.I dont want her to end up like some people on my list.A few sentences and we go silent.Then a couple of seconds later one of us tells another,"I gtg.".I dont want our relationship to go on like that.But how else will it go on?I saw her online a couple of times throughout the day.In fact,she is online right now as i type this entry.I have her screen on my toolbar.A empty window.I typed,"Hello!",but i am afraid to press "Enter".Something is holding me back.Because i know once i press that,i wont be able to turn back from the inevitable awkward silence that follows.Im pretty sure that i'll screw up the conversation and both of us end up closing each other's window.The cursor flickers at the end of the "Hello!",and i dont know what to do now.She comes on and off the net,and everytime she goes off my heart will sink.But when she comes back on i will click on her again.But everytime i will stare at her display picture.A dog.Haha.A dog.I went through the possible topics to talk about with her,and it was pretty limited.I didnt know what to say.Her cat?Her tests?Her school?What else?I was confused.When did starting a conversation become such a difficult task?Help me.Help.I dont know if i should start a conversation with her.I am confused.So close and yet so far away...

Song of the Moment---Torn by Natalie Imbruglia