Of Preparations
Tomorrow's Synergy 2,in which i am involved.After much practises as well as rehearsals,it all comes down to this.This is what we practised for.Our sweat,our blood(For some,such as me.),our time away from home.I guess the pure fact that everything's going to end after this performance is probably why everyone is pushing themselves to the limit,to make this performance a perfect and wonderful one.To quote our teacher in charge Mr Bernard Wong,"The audience doesnt care if you practise for 3 months of 3 days.Once you screw up,you screwed up."Which is so very true.Anyway,so here i am,practising the notes over and over again.I really hope i do not screw up tomorrow when i do the intros to the second and third song.Another reason is because the microhphone will be placed right between Liping and I.Which means that if i make a mistake or say something unappropriate it'll be really obvious.Many of my friends asked their friends to come to the concert.Even friends from other schools,since the school treats this event as a public performance.And as for me,i never really asked anybody from other schools to come.Last Saturday i went to school for practise.We had to sell all the tickets by last week,and it was already Saturday.I didnt want to drag the dateline,so i desperately looked for buyers.I sold most of them,until i came to the last ticket.For some reason,i really didnt want to sell to anyone else other than her.To be honest,i really wanted to ask her to come.Oh well,if i am her i wouldnt agree to come.I mean,its really weird to come to a concert to support your friend,alone.Anyway,tomorrow i would be wearing the white shirt,as well as the black pants.Sadly,we are forced to wear ties,tuck in our shirts and roll up our sleeves.Im really against that.I know it looked untidy,i know we should be formal,i know we should be well-dressed for this occasion.However,thats what everybody is doing.Heavy make-ups,straight and well ironed dress and that fake smile.However,i think we should be different by,dressing different,acting different.Basically,be untidy.Oh well,seems like the teachers are too narrow minded to change anything.Therefore,we'll have to wear ties tomorrow.How sad.Its gonna be pretty awful.Being too formal makes me feel uptight,and uncomfortable.I wonder how i am supposed to put up my best performance tomorrow with the tie choking me.Anyway,Im going to make this post short,since it's already 5 minutes past midnight and tomorrow,or rather today,is the big day.Signing out.Night.

By the way,its always nice to have someone there to talk to when you need to complain about someone or something.Most of the time,i just swallow all my complains.Afterall,it isnt very nice to complain about the person you are complaining about right in their faces.I mean,people have flaws.Everybody's not perfect.There's bound to be something in everyone that ticks you off.However,living in a society is all about compromising and swallowing your complains.However,the bag bursts sometimes.Always nice to have someone there to catch those trashy talks.Thanks Yilin.

Song of the Moment---Penny and Me by Hanson

Of the Raincoat Boy and the Pink Dress Girl
By:Me

Yet another poem i wrote.I got really bored.Took me awhile to write.Its basically about two kids falling in love for each other.One of those really simple and true liking for one another.Im not sure how i came up with it,i guess it just came.Haha.Check it out.

Puddle by puddle he jumped,
Towers of clouds before the sun.
In his yellow raincoat,chewing on his bun,
On this gloomy morning,he had lots of fun.

Puddle by puddle he leaped,
Pebbles and stones he bent to pick.
In his muddy yellow boots,he ran and kicked,
On this misty morning,into a hole he peeked.

Step by step she hopped,
Bubbles!Bubbles!And she popped!
In her pink coloured dress she danced and stopped!
For she saw an eye from beyond the wall!

Step by step she retreated,
Her eyes gimmered.Something shimmered.
In her white ballet shoes,she softly whimpered,
For she was afraid,and fear flickered.

Bit by bit he backed away,
He smiled to the girl,and somehow she stayed.
In his small palms,beautiful pebbles arrayed,
On this rainy morning,timidly he said:

"Forgive me for looking,
For in my eyes an Angel was dancing.
Here,the pebbles i was picking,
I give them to you,so please stop crying."

One by one she took them all,
With a blink and a wink,he was gone.
She ran after him,who was now beside the pond,
For she did not want to lose him,before long.

Inch by inch she handed out,
Puzzled he was."What is this about?"
In her tiny little palms,an umbrella she took out,
Like the sun she smiled,and said this aloud:

"Forgive me for saying this,
But if you dont mind,can i give you a kiss?
For when you smiled everything eased,
And you are the boy,i dont want to miss."

So the pink dress girl and the raincoat boy,
Fell for each other,and was full of joy.
On this raining morning,within the soil,
Was a seed of love,and it sizzled and boiled!

Wednesday Morning
I wrote the above last night.Right now,i am at home waiting for the rehearsal to start later on in the afternoon at 230pm.To be honest,im pretty excited about the rehearsal.The times spent with my club members reminded me of why i loved going to school back in Primary and Secondary school.School began with Maths,which went on fine.Economics was pretty dreadful,since most of us did not finish the essay that we were supposed to do.Geography lecture was the same old same old.Dead.Studies about rocks and rivers.I wonder what those would help me in my future career.In fact,i doubt Geography's even useful in any aspects of our lives.Well,unless you want to be a Geography teacher.Anyway,while the class prepared to go for the learning journey later in the afternoon,i am at home rotting away.Just recieved news regarding my CCA records.And it sucked.No offence to Hanwei or anything,but I have a CCA.He doesnt.And both of us got the same grades.Yes,like Valerie said,they havent updated whatever we did this year.However,i dont think i deserve such a low record.My CIP hours is pretty pathetic as well.Just met the requirement.And its not even halfway to the minimum hours you need to obtain 1 pathetic point.Basically,everything sucked.I guess today is "one of those days" again.Bloody boring.I shall write a poem on this.Wonder why I am interested in anything BUT school.How i wish i am at least motivated to do something.Well,i shall got iron my shirt and pants for the rehearsal later.Ta.

Song of the Moment---Becaused You Loved Me by Celine Dion

Of the Trip to the Side of the Road
Looking back,there have been too many entries on the so called,"thoughts".I guess i should update a little on my normal everyday life.Not that its much more interesting than before,but at least when i look back i know what i did.Anyway,today is Tuesday.Due to the Track and Fields Heats the afternoon PE was cancelled.Thank god for that.I was exhausted today for some reason.I guess it was Mrs Chua's voice.Monotone.And i found myself counting the number of people sitting in front of me.57 was the number i got.Pretty amazing huh?Anyway,after school i went home to prepare for the Geography outing to Sembawang.Well,Im not exactly looking forward to looking at rocks and trees and springs.However,any sort of lessons out of the classrooms and out of the school,is a good lesson.Therefore,i ate my lunch and got into my so called,"Beach Wear" and ran to school before the bus leaves.I got there early,and everyone was late.i wandered around the fountain and finally saw Samantha and gang.NKT came soon after in his everyday shirt and pants.The only differentce was the sandles he had,and the enormous bag he had on his bag.It was ridiculously big.Due to the sheer size of it,he swayed from left to right when he walked.It was hilarious.Reminded me of how William Hung left the hotel in Los Angeles when he was disqualified from the competition.And as for the rest,they were extremely late.Fine.About five minutes or so.NKT panicked on the bus,and started running about here and there,fearing that the bus driver might just drive off with half the class in the bus,and the other somewhere in school.I tried calling them,but apparently they were too busy running.Finally,NKT got everybody onto the bus and we headed off to Sembawang.The trip was pretty long,in Singapore's context.I got tired,and just stared out into the afternoon sky.The bus rumbled down the expressway,and for some reason the bus was vibrating unusually.I started thinking about the days back in Primary school,when i used to take school buses home.I took exactly the same kind of bus,and i had a lot of memories up there.Picked up a fight with my fellow "bus-mate" once.It ended quite tragically,for both parties.Anyway,while the girls chattered away at the back,i fell asleep with my head on the window.The bus suddenly stopped at the side of the road,and NKT rushed us out of the bus.We were expecting something like the Sungei Buloh,a place with parking lots and proper ticket booths.But no.There were no parking lots,no ticket booths,no pavements,no nothing.It was merely "The side of the Road" as the phrase suggests.So the class got off,and stood there,waiting for further instructions.NKT led us through a gate at the side of a long stretch of fence,which ran all the way down the road.We strolled down a long pavement,and as soon as we turned a corner,we came to a clearing.It was an empty lot,with concreted floor.A single red structure stoof in the centre of it all,and a shelter at the left corner of the clearing.NKT rushed up to the red building and said,"Here we are."Our jaws dropped.That,was in fact,the spring.Capped.Which means it was no longer able to spurt water from the ground like the hot springs in other countries.Honestly,it was quite disappointing.To see how nature's wonder got taken over by the will of men.Anyway,there was a gate at the front of the building,and hot air was flowing out of it.It smelled like something,until Rachel reminded me that it smelt like hard boiled eggs.We went to the nearby tap,and grabbed a basin each to fill them up with water.We measured the temperature of the water,and it shot up to a high of 55 degrees.As we clumsily carried the buckets to the side,we dragged stools along so we could sit on them,while the warm sensation crawl up our legs.Just as i was about to start enjoying the hot spring,i placed my feet in,and almost screamed.It was too hot for me,and it took me awhile to get used to the temperature.In fact,everybody had their feet around the brink of the buckles,scared of the water.Ants were crawling around everywhere,and mosquitos attacked WenLai and MeiLing.Thankfully,they had tastier bloody than us.We were saved from being fed on my mosquitos.NKY passed some tibits around as he explain the history of the spring.Half the time i was testing if the water was ready or not.We started playing the number game i mentioned last month in a certain entry,and the forfeit was to dip your feet into the water for three seconds.I lost.By the time i lost,the forfeit already snowballed to 20 seconds.However,my water was still boiling.It was really painful when i placed my feet in.Moreover,they were counting at 2m/h.It was pretty bad.My feet was numb after that.Damn it.But after that,my forfeit was cut in half and i managed to complete it.Anyway,the trip ended,and we got back onto the bus and headed back to school.I slept on the bus again.Shariffah and HanWei went home from there,so i took the whole seat to myself.Haha.There,dinner time.I am hungry,and tired.Signing out.

Song of the Moment---Renodia Piazolla Libertango by Yo Yo Ma

Of Suppose
Today's Saturday.Once again,half of it was taken up by guitar practise.Not that i hate them or anything.Most of all,i hate teaching some individuals from my section.Not that they are arrogant,or people with attitude problems.They cannot play guitar.Thats fine.They are not making an effort to learn those.Ive already complained that to a fellow guitarist online just a few moments ago.Therefore i shall spare the readers from much more ramblings and complaints.Anyway,I got home at 5+,and Dad brought us to that Japanese restaurant at East Coast.Its called,"Sento" if im not wrong.The good looking waitress is gone,sadly.She used to be there all the time,running here and there welcoming customers the moment they step into the doors.With her hair tied up and the tradition Japanese costume she looked really good.For a moment i forgot about my food.Anyway,i had this bowl of rice.However,Im not quite sure of the name of it.It had shredded egg,raw fish and fish eggs.Holy.That's awesome!I finished by bowl,and others couldnt finish theirs.Dad did,and he shared a mini-steamboat with me.Mom couldnt finish her fried prawn,so i ate that.Sister couldnt finish those fried chicken.I ate that too.In the end,i got a little of everything and was the big winner of the night.As soon i got home i turned on my computer.Nowadays,coming online at around 8pm has become a daily routine.Why is that so?Thats when she normally logs on.So i would sit there and wait for her to come online.If she comes at all.Sometimes,like tonight,the wait was unbearable.Boring.Visiting the same website i visited ten minutes ago,listening to the same songs over and over,despite having over 100 songs.Watch the same video over and over again,reading blogs and more blogs.Of course,the ComingSoon Boards helped to kill some time,but most of the time i would be doing something else,away from my computer,only to stumble back into my seat whenever i hear someone logging onto Msn."Damn!" i say when i finds out that it is actually someone else.Sometimes I'll talk to them,to kill time of course.If im lucky we can go on for hours.On nights like these,are the driest nights.Lonliest nights.With my chin on my palm,and eyes on her nickname,how i wish it might just turn green.However,its been a while since it did.Though i never tried to talk to her whatsoever,at least when she's online,i know what she's doing.Right?So what if you know,you might ask.I dont know myself either.Its probably a form of satisfaction?Haha.Obsession perhaps.However way you see it,i dont really care.Everday i come online,you are not around.And when you come,i keep silent in the corner of your list.Sometimes,i wonder why i desire your name to pop up so much.Its bloody stupid to most,and to myself sometimes.Its becoming a routine job already.I guess thats bad.I read on Valerie's blog,that nights like tonight,are nights when thoughts start to swirl and spun.Yeah,they do.(Look below.Perfect example.And thanks Krishna,for the compliment.)Its amazing how boredom can do to you,like i always say.Waiting is painful,patience is an irritating word.Patience are for monks in temples and shrines,not for me.Argh.Seeing how the clock tick by,and how the numbers change every minute,i begin to change my wallpaper from one to the next.As boredom grew,my knowledge about my computer grew as well.I finally figured out how to change the music when i turn on my computer.I waited.And waited.And waited.And its,1.37am now.You are not around.I dont suppose you would anytime soon.I dont think you might message me when you do.I dont suppose that i might do the same,too.I dont suppose waiting for you is the right thing.I dont suppose by waiting for you migt prove anything.I dont suppose you even know how much time i have spent on you.I dont suppose you care.I dont suppose that i should let you know.I suppose i should stop this now.I suppose its late,and i want to sleep.I suppose this is indeed one of those nights,when thoughts swirls.Thoughts spuns.Supposingly,you came online right now.Supposingly you messaged me.Supposingly we are having a great conversation as i speak.Supposingly,you care.Supposingly,I am not as depressed as i should be.Supposingly this is all a nightmare.My dad asked me on the car today,what would i do if I broke up with my girlfriend.As if i have one in the first place.I just kept silent.I asked him why he asked that question.He said,"Well,just curious."I looked out through the window as the streetlights zipped pass the car.As i looked out,i saw a mother carrying a child in her arms in the car beside ours.The kid was crying,and she was wiping tears off her rosy cheeks.No matter how her mother tried to tease her,she kept crying.I couldnt hear her scream,nor could i hear her sobbing.Through the windows,everything was a blurry silence.From the outside,everything was calm.On the inside,everything was in a mess.She was screaming.No one outside could hear.

Then,softly,i said,

"Well,I suppose..."

And i kept silent again.Dad never asked again.I suppose he understood what i said.I suppose i got my point across.As i got out of the car,i stared at the evening moon.I wonder if you are looking at it too.

I suppose,you are not.

Song of the Moment---Original Sin by Elton John

Of the Lazy Farmer

Your...

Your eyes glimmered,
Look how they glittered.
My mind faltered,
See,my love is no longer.

Your silence pierced,
Listen,how it seemed like years.
Softly I covered my ears,
My weakness,my horrors,my fears.

Your touch melted,
Oh,how my heart wavered.
It seemed like love when first heard,
Then it crumbled,as a pile of dirt.

Your voice,melodious.
Quiet!Soft steps!Cautious!
Music it may seem,harmonious.
Behold!A spell,a lie,a curse.

Your presence,enchanting.
Soothing,yet misleading.
My thoughts,stupid and daring.
Foolish I am,yet I am willing.

Your name,your smile,your dance.
Oh,how i wish,they wouldnt come to past.
A trap Im in,sinking fast.
Love is sour,enlightenment at last.

Just a little poem i wrote.Mood swing i guess.Whenever she's online i stumble into this pit.Sometimes i wonder if keeping quiet,waiting for her to message me is the right thing to do.There's a chinese story about a farmer waiting under a tree one day,hoping that another rabbit might hit the tree and he'll be able to enjoy another free meal.I wonder if waiting for another rabbit to hit the tree,is worth waiting at all.Perhaps,this farmer doesnt have the courage to go out and hunt for rabbits?Maybe i am too lazy,too timid,too scared to go out there and grab a shotgun for some good old rabbit hunting.Yeah.Maybe.

Of the Girl Crying on the Phone
An entry concerning Bernice and her team.
No,no girl called me and cried.At least not recently.It was a long time ago.However,it has something to do with what i am going to say.So bear with me.Here we go.

Today,my class skipped General Paper lecture to go support Bernice and our school's volleyball team once again at CCAB.I did not go with them,because like i said,i was tired.I know this might not be the most valid reason to not support your friend play an important game.But after considering the number of people going,i dismissed the idea.3 bus load of JC1s were there.Not to mention some of the JC2s as well as SA people.Anyway,i got home and took a long nap.I woke up to find LiuYin online.She went to the game,and i asked her about the score.The guys won,but the girls did not.To be honest,i never thought that the lost will have much impact on Bernice and gang.Because i thought that as long as they win the next two matches they'll be fine.However,LiuYin said that our school is already out of the championships.I got worried.Not about the team,but Bernice.Since the beginning of the year we saw how Bernice worked hard to gain her spot in the team.How she wanted to prove herself as a worthy player.Perhaps not as good as our ex star players last year,or the national player we have currently in our team,but someone whose presence cannot be ignored and denied.She worked hard.And we saw it with our eyes.She placed priority upon volleyball and nothing else.When the J1s came in,she was really worried that they might not be as good,and that the team might not be able to get into the finals like they did last year.We saw how much she is dedicated to volleyball,and volleyball only.Im never a sportsman.I am never good at sports.However,i know the feeling of losing.Like the previous entry about Kelly,losing stinks.Its labels you.It flashes the sign right out in your face.A sign which reads:All your efforts are wasted.Sometimes,we have to face the facts that we lost.Losing is not the end.To deal with losing,is important.I heard from LiuYin that Bernice and the rest of the team cried after the game.To some extent,im glad that i did not go to the game.I wont know what to do,or say to her to comfort her.Ive had experiences with people like that,and to tell you the truth,i think i have a phobia with crying girls.

3 years ago,while i was still a kid in Secondary 2,seeing some of my friends getting into an immature and childish relationship got me jealous and envious.Afterall,like kids comparing how many Pokemon cards they have collected,the losing side would always be the jealous side.I had a friend whom Ive got to know online.She was nice,and we got along very well.We've never seen each other before,save for this occasion when we sent each other our neoprints.Other than that,we communicated through phone calls.Sometimes,talking late into the night.We call each other everyday,despite our parent's constant naggings and scoldings.We talked about anything and everything,and sometimes share our problems and happiness.To be honest,the only difference between our relationship then with a real couple relationship was confession.Other than that,it was almost like an on going relationship.One night,she called my home.I picked up,and we talked.She sounded sad,and she wanted me to talk to her.And so i did.Back then,i was a bad listener.Being in a all boys school limited the amount of contact i have with members of the opposite sex.Therefore,i didnt know how to deal with certain situations.Anyway,so we talked on the phone.She told me how her parents pressurized her about her results.About how she's not doing as well as they've expected,when she was already doing best.I still remember i was sitting in my room alone at midnight talking to her alone while others were sleeping.Suddenly,she started sobbing,then cried on the phone.That was the first time a girl actually cried while talking to me.I panicked and didnt know what to do.Or say.I mean,what should i say in order to comfort her?Nothing seemed fitting for the situation.I wanted to keep quiet,but that wouldnt sound right.So i tried saying something encouraging,or funny.But she kept crying.So there,in the middle of the night,i sat on my bed alone with her on the phone,crying softly through the reciever.I let her cry her hearts out,with me on the other end,quiet.I knew i had to say something,nothing came.If i have the chance,i'll go back in time and say something.Perhaps to make her feel a little better of herself.I lost contact with her.After Secondary Two our workload increased.And slowly,we drifted apart.If i have the chance,i wouldve done everything i could to make her feel differently.Oh well,that was one of my first crushes to be honest.I wonder where she is now,if she still remembers me.I wonder if she has anyone to cry to on the phone when she has problems.I wonder if she needs me at all.However,it was a crush.Nothing more.As a kid,i didnt take it seriously.At least i think i didnt.

Back to the point,i wouldnt know what to say to Bernice that might sound right.That might help her.Sometimes,keeping quiet might be the only way out.Because this is a battle within which we cannot interfere.She is online now.I wanted to click on her nick.Perhaps say something encouraging.But i know nothing would help her.Maybe she just needs time to think things through,to accept defeat.Who am i to say this anyway.Im not even THAT close to her or anything.I guess i have a soft spot for crying girls.Haha.Yeah,maybe.Perhaps it is the image Bernice shows the world.The Ber-ttercup image.How she stands up for the class,her friends and herself.How she has that "Never Say Die" and "Die Die Lah!" attitude.To see her cry,is like seeing the moon turning green.She needs time,and no one can do anything about it.Life goes on i guess,like we all say.Life is like a volleyball game,and you are the volleyball.You hit the volleyball and it hits the ground,its bound to bounce back up.One day,you will bounce back up again.I guess thats what i can do,as a classmate.Damn,i wasnt even there.Haha.Perhaps things didnt turn out as bad as Ive imagined.Who cares.Just my two cents worth.Night.

Of the Song Dedication
Thursday.The weekend approaches.For some reason i woke up,tired.And i mean,tired.Exhausted.Didnt really know why but i did not manage to wake up after i turned off the radio clock.I kept on sleeping until Dad woke me up.By the way,he's back from Taiwan.Glad to see him around again.Anyway,so i got to school extremely tired.During Economics i was already dozing off,dying.Not to mention the long and awful Maths lecture that followed.Our school's Maths department came up with a mentor system.Whereby teachers from other classes will be the mentor of weaker students.I do not deny that this is a pretty good idea.Considering the fact that it opens up a way for students to question different teachers and opinions when dealing with a maths problem.Anyway,Mr Kooi's lecture ended early.Just as we were about to pack our bags and head on down to the canteen for an early break,the HOD of maths walked onto the stage and told the crowd to hold on for a minute,and that she had an important thing to announce.It was an analysis of the results of last year's J2's results.As we were still early,nobody complained.She started off by placing a table on the projector,showing the results of the pass year students.Especially the 2003 batch.She started talking about how bad the arts student did,how they merely obtained a F while the science stream students generally managed to obtain an AO pass at the least.She highlighted the percentage of students of three particular classes and showed it to the whole LT.Fine,that's alright.Since she was refering to last year's batch,i dont really care.Then she went on to the list of students who would be taken care of under the mentor system.She flashed the list of students,and that pissed a lot of people off.Why?Firstly,they were all Arts students.Secondly,their names were openly announced to the LT.Not that anybody cared.However,I dont think it was the right thing to do.She took the paper off the screen,and said,"Actually,Im not supposed to show you this."And she placed that piece of paper back onto the projector again.So once again,the names were flashed in front of everyone.Of course,our class had a couple of names up there,and it wasnt very nice of her to reveal their names like that.Yeah,they might be weaker in maths,but by putting them off like that was definitely wrong.And that's only one of the numerous stupid things the school did.One of the policy the school implemented was to close the toilets on the centre block because the school wanted to save water and electricity.Why is it stupid?1)The number of toilets might have decreased,but the number of people using the toilets remains the same.So you end up having the same amount of people rushing to the toilets at the end of the school,and the amount of water used remains unchanged.2)The toilets are still opened even after the implementation.Sometimes,they would be locked with the lights on.3)Cleaners use running hoses to wash the toilets and leave it on even when they are drying the wmirrors.4)The fountain is still on.Enough said.The principal clarified that though the number of people using the toilets remained the same,by decreasing the number of toilets it makes the lives of the cleaners easier.However,the aim of this whole thing is to save electricity and water.Not to make those cleaners lives easier.Stupid.Anyway,so everyone got really pissed off at her,and she basically became the topic of the day during Maths and CT.During CT,we had to bring magazines,and find pictures which suited our idea of a ideal school in 2009.I must admit that my group did a pretty good presentation,making the class bursting out into laughter.Of course,the A1 people were there as well.I pointed to a picture of an astronaut on the moon and said,"Geography Fieldtrips of 2009.Then i went on to talk about future textbooks.I pasted a couple of pictures of the cover of Rolling Stones Magazines.It had Britney spears posing almost nude on the covers.I pointed to them one by one and said,"Textbooks.Monday,Tuesday,Wednesday,Thursday and Friday.Students wont forget to bring them,ever."Which sent the class roaring with laughter.Anyway,during the break we went down to the canteen.The ground was literally vibrating with music.It was the college's Friendship Day,and they were selling roses and friendship bands.There were a lot of song dedications as well,and the councillors were blasting the music at the back of the canteen.It was pretty crowded,and we settled down at a table at the corner of the canteen.The girls went off to buy food while me and Rachel stayed at the table.As i quietly sipped my Milo from the bottle,my name was announced over the stereo system.I almost choked on the drink,and stared at Rachel.She stared at me as well,and i asked,"Did i hear my name?"She said she did.Haha.What a weird thing to happen.I dont remember anybody dedicating any songs to me.I dedicated songs to people before,when i wrote into Perfect 10 back in Secondary School.However,never on an occasion like this.LiuYin and WanJun came back with their food,and they said that they heard my name as well.Haha.Oh well,probably it was just some other guy with the same name.(Or girl.)Whoever it was,if it was for me,thanks.Probably just one of my friends whose names i did not catch.Haha.Cool.

Song of the Day:
Be Like That by 3 Doors Down



He spends his nights in California, watching
The stars on the big screen
Then he lies awake and he wonders, why
Can't that be me
Cause in his life he is filled with all these
Good intentions
He's left a lot of things he'd rather not
Mention right now
But just before he says goodnight, he looks
Up with a little smile at me and he says

If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do
What would I do

Now and dreams we run

She spends her days up in the north park,
Watching the people as they pass
And all she wants is just a little piece of
This dream, is that too much to ask
With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a
Quiet little street
All she wants is just that something to
Hold onto, that's all she needs

Yeah!

If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live a day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do

I'm falling into this, in dreams
We run away

If I could be like that, I would
Give anything just to live a day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do

If I could be like that, I would
Give anything just to live a day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do

If I could be like that, I would
Give anything just to live a day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do

falling in
I feel Im falling in, to this again

Of the Dragged Boredom
I hate Tuesdays.I hate Tuesdays.I hate Tuesday.And i can go on if you want.Especially this Tuesday.Mrs Lee is gone,save me from the nagging.But guess what?Mr Teo's in the house to take over.Great.Ever had the feeling when you really dont know where the day is heading?You put your elbow on the table,rest your head on the palm and just stare at whatever's going on the board.The numbers,the graphs and the words all start to swirl and disappear.Sometimes i wonder if i stared hard enough,if i could make out the word,"Boredom".Nothing went in.(Mind.)Nothing got out.I didnt talk a lot today.I was just bored.To sit in the class,unable to ask questions.Because you dont know what to ask.Ive come to a point whereby i dont know what i dont know.Believe it or not.Geography lessons are boring nowadays.Drawing,drawing and more drawing.Hydrographs after hydrgraphs.Then more cross-sections.GP lessons was fun.Just wrote,and wrote,and wrote.Essay was distributed to us at that time.And we just,wrote.Economics lecture.Im starting to dislike Mr Teo.He's boring.Like,deadwood boring.If i stare at him long enough mushrooms might start to grow from my iris.If i listen to him long enough moulds might start to block my ear.Nothing really made sense.All was a drag.Boredom took over once more and i banged my head on the lecture table.Economics tutorial.Another torture.I was bored to tears.Underlined words,without understand.Just dragged.Time crawled.Time dragged.I found myself checking the clock every 3 minutes.That made things much worse.I tried relaxing over the one hour break.But i was too busy thinking about how bored i was,i forgot to relax.Imagine,i was so bored,i forgot to relax.Argh.This has got to be the first time.While waiting for PE,it was an even longer drag.Probability staring at me.But i couldnt seem to get the right answer for that question.I stayed in the library and pondered over that question for hours.Then i got bored.And time dragged once more.What a long day.Boring,boring,boring.School life has become a routine thing.Everything's standard,everything's the same.We often hear the teachers blabbering about how they are not forcing us to do our homeworks,studying for our tests yada yada.And that it is "for our own good".The truth is,we are forced to engage in this stupid educational system in the first place.Of course you guys are not forcing us to study,the education system is.You are not forcing us?What a whole lot of bull.You teachers,idiots.You only need to have speciality in a certain subject,and you can use that bloody knowledge to teach different students over and over again for 20 years.The truth is,all you need is to be good at ONE subject,and you can earn a living like that.Us?We are expected to ace in everything.Not everyone is as perfect as you swines out there.We have to work our butts off,and do well in everything,so we can at least enjoy a decent life next time when we step out into the cruel society.At least have the bloody courtesy to make the lesson,interesting.I used to look forward to GP lessons.I used to look foward to maths class.Its part of your bloody work quota to make the lesson fun.But no.You guys just go on and on.On and on.When we dont do well,you blame it on us.Sometimes,it is us who are the one to be blamed.Ever thought that the boredom that you created during class,might be the cause of laziness?Bored.Bored.I am so bored.Drag.Like pulling a concrete up your ass.

Song of the Moment---It's Good to be In Love by Frou Frou

Of Rehearsals and Nice Warm Cookies
Saturday morning.I woke up to the sounds of my radio clock.Sometimes,i just feel like smash the god damn thing and continue sleeping.But then again,i really didnt want to let the guitar club people down.I love them a lot.They remind me of my SRJC class.Somewhat.Perhaps a little less wild,less crazy,more hardworking.However,similarities includes the usual people outside the social circle.Back in SR we had the F4.We havent came up with names for this new group of girls yet.S.H.E perhaps?Haha.Come to think about it,three of them are always together.Cant play guitars to save their lives.Thats for sure.Anyway,so i got prepared and went for the full dress rehearsal.Took the shirt that i borrowed from Kevin and changed in the music room.Nobody was there so,i didnt care much about it.Most of them got to the room,already dressed up and ready.Soon enough,we were carrying out guitars and music stands down to LT4 to prepare for the rehearsal.Dance Society was there.Choir,GuZheng and Harmonica Orchestra.We went up and practised with the lights and stuff.Didnt play well but,we never expected to anyway.Ahmad and I fooled around while waiting for the other groups to set up and finish.We played a lot with his digital camera,taking photos and stuff while the others toiled away outside,trying desperately to memorise the songs.Not that we were slacking,but some of the people who were outside are really weak.Including the girls i mentioned.Anyway,the doors of the LT kept locking itself up.Bloody school with screwed up doors.Ahmad and I had to talk by pressing our handphones to the glass,so as to communicate with each other through typed messages.We practised the entry and exit of the club,as well as the lighting.Got a little roughed up backstage but things turned out fine.While rehearsing for the finale,the guys of the club were standing together,fooling around.Doing human waves,singing on the wrong note on purpose,bobbing up and down,basically having a good time on stage.Everyone else was pretty serious,only we were jumping around,racing each other up the stairs everytime we have to start the finale all over.Haha.I guess we were just tired and high.You know how boredom can get to you sometimes.Nothing much about the rehearsals really.The other clubs did really well,though the Dance Society's performance in particular did not wow me as much as ive expected.Didnt exactly expect them to do a Backstreet Boy spoof.(You'll get what i mean.)It didnt turn out well,since they were not syncronized properly.I love the outfit the guitar club chose.White top with black pants.That totally made us stand out from the crowd,despite the presence of the bright orange ties the dancing girls had on.We were the most unproperly dressed,which made us stand out even more.(On purpose of course.Folded sleeves,crumbled shirt,tucked out.)After that,Kevin,Ahmad,Chong Guan,Russell and I went to McDonalds to grab some food.It was burning hot,and the three of us had black long pants.You can imagine how much heat we attracted.So we took the path under the HDB flat towards the McDonalds.Along the way,Ahmad took out his digital camera yet again and took photo of the rest of us walking.We did not notice that he was taking the photo,so we just kept walking.The picture turned out to be totally boyband-ish.We were in the same wardrobe,and four of us were there walking down this long corridor.Looked exactly like something out of a Westlife album.Haha.It was hilarious.Russell pointed a middle finger at the camera as well.Haha.By the time we reached McDonalds we were pouring.Of sweat.I ordered an icecream and started licking it furiously.We headed back to school,and got ready for the practise after that.Tomas came,and he was in his everyday kinda wardrobe.He looked weird,but i guess i was just not used to it.A lot of people skipped,and the practise was forced to end early,due to the JC1 parent's day. I got home,tired and exhausted.At 6pm,everything was a blur.Mom was not at home,neither was my sister.So i turned on the fan,the air con,and the hi fi.Thinking that those might just blast the hot air off my body.I sat on my sofa,half fried.

Krishna called.And we talked.Its been awhile since we talked,and we talked about life again.How pissed off i was about DnD,old friends and new.As i talked to him,Rs came online.However,instead of saying hi to her or anything,i just continued talking on the phone.Hoping that perhaps by talking a little longer she might log off,and i wont be able to trouble myself as to whether i should say hi or not.We hung up,and i started minding my own business,totally disregarding her exitence.Suddenly,a window popped up.It was from her.I was pretty amazed and shocked for ten seconds or so.I clicked on the window,and she said,"Hello.".I was already smiling from ear to ear when i replied.I will not go into details of course.But this time,we had a great chat.She talked a lot today.In fact,both of us had a great time.At least i did.We talked about school,but a more interesting level of course.Heard that the drink stall auntie changed to an old grumpy lady.Talked about how her Biology teacher looked down on her.How my maths teacher looks down on me.How her maths teacher likes to look at guys.How bad her taste is when it comes to Korean guys.Basically,we talked as if we were friends again.As if whatever i typed in the entry yesterday never existed.Again,time stopped.I was hoping that the conversation would go on like this.Forever.She laughed,and i smiled.She talked,and i replied.And like this,we went on for a hour or so.I know to most,this might not mean much.Afterall,its only just another conversation with someone you like.I dont know.It meant a lot to me.In a way,its a moral support.Haha.I dont know in what ways,but somewhere deep inside i can see a small glimmering speck of hope.Thanks for giving me that slight speck of light.:)It feels good to talk like this again.It really does.Its like that feeling when you eat your favourite cookie from your grandma.That warm feeling of hot crunchy cookie.That feeling feeling up my heart,with that little conversation we had.Bringing back the old memories.Wow.

Song of the Moment---Xing Fu de Shun Jian by Xu Shao Yang

Of the Mysterious Caller
So the week ended with a bang.A bang on my bed.I was so tired when i reached home.Didnt know why really.The house was empty,save for my sister who was snoring away in bed.I turned on the air con,and just stared into space for awhile.Sweat was still pouring down my forehead,the sun was still blazing outside the window.My came home a little while later,then went out again with my sister to buy lunch.Burger King.Well,not my ideal lunch.But hey,the Mushroom Swiss was awesome.Not to mention the feeling of ice cold coke down my throat on a skin melting afternoon.Skin's been peeling from the back of my neck,and its getting irritating.Guitar matters are piling up,and it is pissing me off.Last minute changes and stuff are piercing my brain.Everything is ticking me off nowadays.One more thing comes up and i might just smash someone's head on a rock.Of the details,i shall not complain.Dont want to even think about it.Anyway,so i took a bath,washed my hair,got it dried and prepared for bed.Went into a coma,or a trance.Couldnt get to sleep because i was too tired.Ironic isnt it.Heard a phone call,but mom picked it up after a ring or two.I woke up at 6pm,all dizzy and dazed.Hair was standing on their roots like something out of a classic horror movie.Walked into the kitchen to check out what my mom and my sister have installed for dinner.Mom saw me awake and said,"Oh you are awake.Someone called you while you were asleep.It was a girl.She asked you out for a movie.".When i asked about her name,my mom said she didnt give her any.My mom asked her to call back or ask me to call her,but she told me that the caller said it was "Ok".I scratched my head,still dizzy,and went into the room to see if i have any calls whatsoever.I turned on my handphone,and i recieved a SingTel Alert message.Briefly,its basically a service that will send you a message when someone calls your handphone when its off.So even when your handphone is switched off you'll know about it.To handphone newbies,miss calls would not be recorded if the handphone is off.Anyway,it was from an unknown number.6280****.Haha.I wonder who.Well,maybe its just somebody from my class,wondering outside and has got no one to watch a movie with.Perhaps just some bored souls.I sat at the dining table wondering who called.Her name flashed into my mind.Wonder if she'll even bother to call me.I checked her house number and the number i recieved.It was different.Well,i didnt expect her to call anyway.Chances:Zero.However,there's always a small minute hope deep within,wishing that she might just call and ask me out.Which is totally absurb.Well,whoever called please let me know that you did.If you are reading this drop me a message or something.Anyway,i started thinking about the days when me and Rs were still friends.When we actually talked on the phone for hours.It was one of those times,when the clock stops and everything around us paused.One of those times when you dont want things to end.Hopefully it can go on and on.Still remember the time when we actually had things to share.Things to laugh about.Things to feel sad about.Things.We actually had things to talk about.It was then,not now.We had something in common then,not now.We were closer then,not now.We were friends then,not now.I remember there was this time when she asked if i watched "Catch Me If you Can" yet.It was towards the end of the screening period,and she wants to watch it.I already watched it with my friends.However,i didnt mind watching it a second time with her.She asked me if i want to watch it with her.I actually told her that i watched it already.Though i told her i dont mind watching it again,she told me that it is ok.And that it'll be a waste of money for me to watch it again.In the end.I didnt.As i thought of it,i started laughing at the dinner table.My sister looked at me and gave that bewildered face.I just couldnt stop laughing at myself.Almost choke on the chunk of fish in my mouth.So could the caller be her?No.In fact,if i find out who the caller is it'll be very embarrasing.Especially if she is reading this.I called back,and i asked the person who picked up the phone if anyone called my phone.It sounded like a kid,like around 11 or 12 years old.I told her my number and all she could say was,"No.".I mean,you couldve asked the people around you if they called right?Im sure someone did.Anyway,maybe she moved house?Maybe she was calling from a friend's house?Maybe.Argh.How i wish i was her.If i have one wish,one person to call,it wouldve been her.It wouldve been her.It wouldve...How often will a member of the opposite sex call you and ask you out for a movie right?At least that never happened before in my context.Ive always told myself,that opportunities are not found but created.When it comes you should just grab it and go.Like from the movie,"Cant Hardly Wait",though it is one of those teenage brainless movies,it had a great line in it.The main character was outside and wanted to call a local radio station to dedicate a song to this girl that he loves,called Amanda.He thought he lost her forever due to some misunderstandings.He managed to call through and when the DJ picked up his phone,an Angel/stripper budged into the phone booth and hung up his phone call.He was very frustrated,since when was it ever an easy task to call into a radio station?The Angel/Stripper just wanted to get a taxi,and because of that they had a big arguement at the side of the street at 3am in the morning.Apparently,her customers grabbed and scratched at her that night.One puked all over him and she was in an extremely bad mood.So they both sat down and started talking.The main character told her about Amanda,how she left him.Then the Angel/Stripper told him that there was this once when her idol from a television series came to town.She was really excited,and she went to meet him.He got off the limo,and she saw him right before her eyes.She wanted to talk to him,or perhaps ask for an autograph.But she was so excited that she forgot to do all those things.In the end,he passed her by,and she missed her chance.So she told the guy:

"There is fate, but it only takes you so far, because once you're there its up to you to make it happen. "

Yeah.I totally agree with it.This Stripper has some brains at least.Haha.Well,i missed my chance.What a shame.Stupid me.We had,a topic.We had things to share.We had.We had.Then.Now.We dont.We havent.We never.We...

Song of the Moment---Sweet Child of Mine by Guns and Roses

Poem of the Day:

VooDoo Girl
By Tim Burton



Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking out of her heart.

She has many different zombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.



But she knows she has a curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

the pins stick farther in.

Poem of the Day:
There is a hidden meaning to this poem that i relate to very well.Love it.Its by Tim Burton,the director of Big Fish and Edward Scissorhand.The pictures were drawn by him as well.Check it out.:)

Stick Boy and the Match Girl in Love
By Tim Burton



Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
He liked her a lot.
He liked her cute figure,
he thought she was hot.



But could a flame ever burn
for a match and a stick?
It did quite literally;
he burned up quick.

Of Kelly's Face Beyond the Wall
I-Learning day.Whatever that is.Got to stay at home today,technically.In the morning,i have to go for guitar practise session.Yay.That was "fun".Waking up at 8am for guitar practises,not something i am very fond of.Nonetheless,its better than schoolwork.Therefore,i am not complaining.Wait,i just did.Who cares.The practise went on fine.I finally managed to figure out how to play the "Clock" song,like how we all like to call it.Anyway,it ended and i rushed out to the 156 bus stop to catch a bus to Junction 8.Not to shop there or anything,but to meet WanJun and LiuYin.Before i say why,let me bring you back to last Thursday.Bernice Loh Mui Kiang was talking to me online when she told me about the match coming up between NYJC and HCJC.HCJC fought us in the finals last year,and this year they were all ready to kick our butts off the throne.Bernice was pretty afraid that they might lose.I,of course,we quite nervous for her as well.So she wanted the class to go support her.She even said,"If you dont come you better watch out on Monday.".Of course,i wanted to go too.So i agreed.WanJun,LiuYin and I agreed to meet at BodyShop at 1230nn.So i reached there on time.They werent there yet,so i went to scout for lunching places.Secondary school kids dominated most of the fastfood resturants,and i hate the way they think they are so cool and all.Combing their hair up and almost a whole bottle of gel on their heads,shirts tucked out and chewing on gums and...Playing Pokemon cards.Hello?I rolled my eyes at most of them who passed by me,even bumped one of them with my guitar.God that felt good.Haha.Anyway,i met up with them and we went to Mos Burger for lunch.ZhuangYi joined us after a short while and he ate like he havent been eating since the Fasting Season last year.He gobbled,everything up.I saw this sticker on the wrapper that said,"Caution!Hot!".I torn it down and pasted it on myself.Haha.A little joke of course.Well,in a way,i was hot.Sun was scorching hot,luminating the damn road.We met up with Shariffah at the bus stop and we took 156 down towards our destination,CCAB.(Of which the exact words are unknown.)On the bus we talked and joked about anything and everything.About this old bastard who stalked Shariffah on the bus,ZhuangYi's "dream" to become a policeman,and my friend's hilarious phone number.Anyway,we almost missed the place at first.JiaYing told us that we'll see a big SMU banner,and Raffles Town Club.Well,the banner turned out to be big yes,but the words were pretty small and minute.So we pressed the button only just in time.We walked all the way to the multi-purpose court under the burning sun.We could already hear cheers and balls hitting the floor as we walked up the slope.A couple of school teams were training around the building,running about hitting balls.To some,it might be a pleasent sight to see indeed,since there were numerous teenage girls in shorts that were so short,it revealed half their butts.Of course,most of them were neglectable.So i focused more on the game than the Greek pillars that walked passed me.While the guys practised they smashed the ball so hard it flew across the court and straight at LiuYin.She managed to block the ball though.However,the ball bounced off her arm and straight into the side of my head.Damn.Great shot LiuYin.Good one.Ouch.Another ball zipped pass my head just asked i turned back from a conversation with WanJun.My hair actually got messed up by the swirling wind.An uncle sitting at the side of the door,managed to douge the balls that went for him,expressionless.Amazing guy.He mustve been really used to balls flying towards him eh?I,on the other hand,am terrified of flying balls.Especially the ones that flies towards me.I had bad experiences which involved a basketball and my good friend DUDLEY KOW.(I wont forget that day Dudley.Argh.Haha.)So the guys from our school played against TJC i think.We trashed them.We were early,and the girls were still at Toa Payoh training.So we watched the AJC and SAJC match.Man,the SAJC guys were trashed with their flesh peeled out of their bones.Totally trashed.Anyway,we went over to the girls side.It was a match between JJ and TJC.I met Kelly earlier on.Damn she's looking better by day.Anyway,i talked with her for awhile.I asked her what school she would be playing against.She told me it'll be JJ after the match."Haha.You guys'll sure win this."i said.Oops.Guess i shouldnt have said that.The match started,and it was a long first set.Both sides were hitting the ball back and forth,and it took quite a while for the set to end.TJC took the first set,and i was pretty happy about it,since Kelly's from TJC.Our girl's team arrived soon after,and we watched the match with them.Bernice was there as well,and she told me that Kelly is so called the,"SuperStar".Haha.Wonder what that means.She's good in my opinion.I mean,she managed to appeal into TJC with volleyball.She's ought to be good.The second set was a tough one for both sides.TJC desperately tried to end the match.However,JJ put up a great defence.They managed to take the second set.One all.Tension,tension.I was pretty worried for Kelly and her team,since the word,"Desperate" was written all over their faces.JJ began to catch up with their scores.Soon,they overtook TJC.In the end,JJ won.That was out of the blues.Bernice turned to me and gave me that,"Oh my god" look.I was in shock as well.Nobody expected TJC to lose.Not to JJ at least.The players themselves were dismayed by the results.Though they forced a smile while shaking their opponents' hands,they were despaired.They packed up and left the court.Gathered outside along the corridor for a debriefing of some sort.NYJC versus HCJC next.The crowd supporting HCJC gathered and increased.Soon enough,the court was dominated by brown uniformed students cheering in chinese.JiaYing managed to arrive for the match,and we watched the match together.6 souls,against 50 strong crowd cheering for HCJC.We've already lost here.The game began,and i reminded Bernice that we must win the first set.By winning the first set,you win 70% of the game.Why.Because last year we kicked HCJC out of the championships to take the crown.Naturally,they wouldve had that in mind,and put their full concentration on not letting history to repeat itself.So,if you win the first set,HCJC players will start to fear us.Scared that NYJC might win again.So their confidence level will drop like a rollercoaster.Then when that time comes,you take the second set and you take the game.Anyway,the game started.Number 8 of our team's good.She's tall,and i heard she's a national player.Bernice was there as well,and she managed to score one or two points.Oh well,her bad day i suppose.The six of us started shouting her name,"Mui Kiang!!!!"She gave that,"Stop please." kinda look.Haha.It was hilarious.And as for the game,it was pretty scary as well.Though NYJC dominated the score boards,HCJC chased closed behind.Sometimes even overtaking us.However,i could tell that they are not superior players.They scored mostly because NYJC made mistakes.Out of bounds,ball touching the net on serve,ball not crossing the net and so on.Well,number 9 of HCJC was the scary one.She was,big.And i heard she has BO.Probably one of their strategies.Haha.As the match went on the JJ girls sat on front of us to watch the match as well.They were laughing and smiling,since they just beat one of the stronger teams in the league.There were holes in the walls to allow air ventilation.It didnt work very well really,since it was still stuffy and hot in the court.I peeked through one of the holes,and saw Kelly outside listening to the coach.I couldnt hear what they were saying,but Kelly was pretty sad to be honest.Since ive known her,she has always been the happy-go-lucky girl.Always happy and stuff.She just sat there and stared,while wiping sweat off her rosy cheeks.Sweat was still pouring down her forehead,and a face full of disbelief.Though expressionless,it had everything written on that face.No one spoke there,and it was all quiet.She was too,quietly thinking in dismay.Oh well,i know how they feel.Losing.Argh.On contrary,the coach of the JJC team began to chit chat with the girls.Sigh.What a contrast.In the end,we managed to kick those HCJC chinese butts.It was a good game though,sweeping the game by winning both the first and the second round.However,it was a close fight.Both schools ended up tipping 20+ points.Wow.Great game.Mui Kiang!!Hahaa..I wanted to say something to Kelly,but she went off soon after the game ended as i busily congratulated Bernice and gang.So dropped her message though.She replied,and she seemed pretty upset too.Message was dotted by dots.If you know what i mean.Oh well,what a great difference,between a single piece of wall.Laughter and cries,smiles and tears,happiness and despair.All on each side of a wall.Hmm.

Song of the Moment---Small Time Blues by Pete Droge

Of the Name
A certain student's mother in my class,has a really really funny name.Haha.I will not reveal her name here,nor will i say who's mother that name belongs to.But all i have to say,is that when i read it i couldnt stop laughing.Me and Rachel were reading through the names on the GIRO option forms when we came across her name.We started laughing to it at first,then we started laughing at each other laughter.And that went on for at least 10 minutes or so.Its been a while since ive laughed that hard.Damn,it felt good!Haha.It was during NKT's lesson,and we were sitting in the corner laughing our heads off.To be honest,i didnt know what gotten into me.I just laughed.Anyway,i have something to complain about in today's entry.Its about our favourite teacher,again.This morning we were supposed to bring our GIRO option forms,and signed.Most of us brought it.Only a small minority did not.She got pissed and started yelling in the middle of the hall.I know,we were supposed to bring the form,i know we were supposed to get it signed.But then again,things are unpredictable,and sometimes people forgets.I for one,did not.Thank goodness i did not.I was collecting GIRO forms for her in the morning when the AVA students started messing around with some weird music in the hall.It was pretty loud,and i couldnt even hear myself.WanWei pulled my sleeve and spunned me around,just in time to catch the flying pile of GIRO forms.Apparantly,she was very angry,and pissed off,that some of us did not sign or bring it.Yes,she threw it at me.Everybody saw it.She screamed for my name a couple of times,but i did not hear it because the music was too damn loud for one,and i was BUSY COLLECTING THOSE FORMS FOR YOU.So as your right hand,you throw that pile of paper to me and just walk out of the class without saying anything.Nisah was obviously pissed off with whatever just happened.I on the other hand was laughing ridiculously hard at her reaction,though i was pretty frustrated myself.I mean,yes we forgot,but you didnt need to throw the papers at your CT Rep and walk out?

Quotes of the Day:
Sy Parrish,'According to The Oxford English Dictionary, the word "snapshot" was originally a hunting term.'

Sy Parrish,'And if these pictures have anything important to say to future generations, it's this: I was here. I existed. I was young, I was happy, and someone cared enough about me in this world to take my picture.'

Sy Parrish,'Nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget. '

Sy Parrish,'Most people don't take snapshots of the little things. The used Band-Aid, the guy at the gas station, the wasp on the Jell-O. But these are the things that make up the true picture of our lives. People don't take pictures of these things.'

Jakob,' When someone seems sad and don't have any friends, it makes me feel bad for them.'
Nina,'Who is sad and doesn't have any friends?'
Jakob,'Sy.'
Nina,'The Photo Guy at the one hour place? Well, we really don't know that much about him do we. He might even have a lot of friends. He probably has a girlfriend and a mommy and daddy, who love him.'
Jakob,'I don't think he does. '
---'One Hour Photo'(2002)

Song of the Moment---My Favourite Game by The Cardigans

Of the Pianist
The Pianist opens in 1939 Warsaw,shortly after Poland's defeat to the German army.Jewish pianist player Wladyslaw Szpilman played by Adrien Brody,along with his family were forced to watch as the restrictions against the Jews became more and more odius by day.At first,minor but unfair rules were set against the Jews.For example,Jews were not allowed to eat in certain areas,Jews were not allowed to walk in parks,Jews were not allowed to sit on public benches,so on and so forth.Then the rules became harsher and more unfair.They were forced to label themselves with Jewish armbands,and to bow to Nazis when they walk pass them.They were forced to walk on the gutters instead of the pavements,and 500 000 Jews were forced to move into a ghetto.Then the Nazis began to implement their "Final Solution",weremost of the Jews in Warsaw are shipped into concentration camps to be exterminated.Those who are capable of work and labour were spared,and forced to work under harsh conditions.Wladyslaw was separated from his family at this point.He was forced to work at a construction site while his family was sent to a concentration camp.With the help of his friends,he managed to escape from the ghetto.Throughout the war period,he moved from places to places with the help of many other fellow Polish.Until one day when the city he lived he was raided,and he was forced to once again,run away from his hiding place.He spent most of the time in ruins,and in hunger.His life became a constant search for food,and a cat and mouse game between himself and the German soldiers.This film was powerful in every aspect.Instead of concentrating on the brutal acts of the German,or scenes from a concentration camp like other holocaust films like,"Schindler's List",this movie focuses on the human struggle.The fight with hunger and of survival.The individual will to survive in a war torn country,with a twist of music to the story.There are a couple of very powerful scenes as well.Wladyslaw stayed in an abandoned hospital opposite his residence for a period of time,surviving on rotten food and water.Until one day when the Germans began to search every buildng on the street when he decided to escape from that place,over the wall and back into the ghetto.He hurt his leg as he jumped down the wall,and the next shot was him limping through the ruins of Warsaw.The streets were demolished.Buildings hung from their foundations and walls crumbled.Holes and debris,bodies and blood.You see Wladyslaw limping through the piles of mess,and he looks around for any sign of life.But no.Another scene was before he and his family was separated.While Wladyslaw and his family had dinner,the German soldiers raided the building opposite theirs.Some of them were ordered to gather on the streets as they searched from floor to floor.There was this particular family,when the German soldiers got in,they were ordered to stand up at their dining table.They did.However,the old man of the family couldnt stand because he was handicapped.He was sitting on a wheelchair and was unable to move.Guess what.The German general ordered the soldiers to pick him up,pushed the wheelchair to the balcony and threw him over the ledge.You actually see the man falling down the building and crushing his skull.Wow.The rest of the people who lined themselves up on the streets,were asked to run down the street.The Germans took out their revolver and shot them one by one.The ones who lived,were ran over by trucks,alive.Wow.Roman Polanski,what a bloody genius.I actually got teary eyes while watching how Wladyslaw searched for food in the rubble.From a intellectual and smart gentleman at the beginning of the film,we see Wladyslaw disintegrate from that to a caveman.His dialogue reduces from words to grunts.Very very good show.Music was cool too.One of the best war movies ever.A must see.

Quotes of the Day:
Wladyslaw Szpilman,'It's an official decree, no Jews allowed in the parks.'
Dorota,'What, are you joking?'
Wladyslaw Szpilman,'No, I'm not. I would suggest we sit down on a bench, but that's also an official decree, no Jews allowed on benches.'
Dorota,'This is absurd.'
Wladyslaw Szpilman,'So, we should just stand here and talk, I don't think we're not allowed to do that.'

Wladyslaw Szpilman,'I know this is an awkward time to say this, but I wish I knew you better.'

Wladyslaw Szpilman,'I don't know how to thank you.'
Captain Wilm Hosenfeld,'Thank God, not me. He wants us to survive. Well, that's what we have to believe.'

Wladyslaw Szpilman,'[taking off his watch] Here, sell this. Food is more important than time.'

Wladyslaw Szpilman,'Its too small. There's 400,000 of us in Warsaw.'
Henryk Szpilman,'No, there's 360,000. So it will be easy.'
---'The Pianist'(2002)

Song of the moment---Nocturne in C-Sharp Minor by Chopin

Of the Dead Butterfly
Yeah.This morning when my mother woke up she found the butterfly dead on the corridor.Hmm.Wonder what that means as well.Anyway,today was pretty boring.For some reason i woke up at 1pm today.I was probably to traumatised by yesterday's incident.Haha.Well,i guess.Cant wait to watch "The Pianist" on Star Movies later.Haha.This entry would be short.Ta.

Poem of the Day:

Beauty can be described in a zillion different ways,
Yet if it were to have a single, solitary figure,
Its Polaroid would show you.

You are so beautiful.

My one and only Juliet,
If I could ever be considered a Romeo.
There for me whenever, wherever,
Seeing me through the high and the low.
Beautiful,
In every sense of the meaning.
Even if our relationship,
Goes only as far as leaning.

Every time she walks by,
A comfortable heart attack,
As all time stops.
Everything a girlfriend could be stacked,
Into one body,
Into one soul,
Filling up constantly,
The black hole,
Deep inside,
That I forever attempt to hide.

Being together,
Would be a rainbow lunar eclipse,
In which every night,
I get a sleep's dreams worth of glimpse.

No one knows where we will go from here.
If we'll ever grow near,
Though now I find I need you more than I need air,
As I finally have the courage to do more than stare.

A day means nothing if it doesn't come back with you.
I'm falling for you hard beautiful.
And I hope it never stops.

Of the Eavesdropping Butterfly
My eyes went back and forth,between the "BackSpace" and "Enter" button.The battle as to whether i should talk to her or not continued through my mind as i sat alone in my room.Hesitated and scared,i finally made up my mind.I pressed "Enter",and anxiously waited for her reply.For a couple of minutes,it was quiet.For a moment there,i panicked.I thought maybe it was her sister,or her brother.Or perhaps she just didnt want to talk to me.All these thoughts went through my mind as i waited and waited.At last,she replied.And her first words were,"Who are you?".Well,she didnt know.I told her,and there,there conversation began.After a few sentences i knew things were going downhill.I know the problem lies with her and not me.She's the kind of person who wont or cant express her feelings.Summarising every feeling or thoughts into a sentence with 10 words.She's the kind of person who will never start or even bother to read a blog.Which means that the chances of her reading this,or any other entries i had about her is:Zero.We talked about the cat as ive thought.It's actually a cat she saw online and she thought it was really cute.So she used it as her picture.I kept squeezing milk out of a rock,trying to come up with decent conversational topics.And i did,but she kept replying with one-liners like,"Haha.Ok.".I have to admit,i am a good conversationer.You message me online,i can talk about anything.As long as you give decent replies we can basically go on for hours and hours.This time,things didnt go well.Things took the worst turn and plunged to the deepest pit there is.The conversation went on so bad,that i actually closed the window.But she replied after awhile.I didnt know where the conversation was going.Wait,maybe i did.Down.Way down.She ended up being the one leaving first,and then the nightmare ended after she went offline.I sat there,with the window still there on my screen.To be honest,i dont know what i said that made things turn out the way it did.Like i said,the problem lies with her and not me.In fact,im able to start a conversation much easier with anyone on my contact list than her.What is this?Another sign that we were not meant to be?Sigh.Perhaps i should just face the god damn picture.She is not for you my man,you couldnt even talk properly with her.Doesnt that mean anything to you?I thought you were the one who insisted on being realistic and not optimistic about things.And look at you now?Clinging on aimless hope and driving on an endless road.Let love take the wheel and not your mind.You are losing it and you know it.Your car is crashing and you allow it.This is not bravery,but stupidity.This is not love,but foolishness.But when was love ever a smart and clever move for anyone?When was it ever,brave?Its all about taking risks and doing stupid things.Well,face it.You will never message her ever again.And i know i wont.I wont gather enough courage to message her again.At least not anytime soon.The worst thing is,i know she wont message me too.What a great thing to be upset about on a Sunday morning.Anyway,she went off.I played Frou Frou's songs on my computer,and just sat there motionless.In fact,ive been doing that until i started to blog again.My sister came home late today.She went to her friend's place for old time's sake.When she came in she saw a butterfly at the front door.She hates butterflies.She finds them disgusting.I,on the other hand,think that butterflies are the only insects worth admiring and appreciating.Though some of them consumes shit but then again,they are at least nice to look at.It flew into my livingroom yesterday while i was watching the television.It flew out,and today it came back in again.What a rare thing to happen.I never knew butterflies knew their way around.I thought they only follow the scent of flowers,and they never will come back to the same place.Yesterday,it stopped on the wall beside the balcony.It fluttered around for awhile,then stopped on the edge of the wall.It fluttered its wings for awhile,then it became slower,and slower,and then stopped.Its now outside my room beside the wind chimes.My sister has her door shut and locked,fearing that the butterfly might just "attack" her.I wonder if this means anything.If the presence of the butterfly means anything at all.Like i said,this doesnt happen everyday,does it?Perhaps you are the only one i can speak my woes to.Outside my room,eavesdropping on my thoughts arnt you?Well,i am not exactly in the mood to have company.So as long as you stay there and dont flutter around me im fine.Alright.I shall go to bed.Seeing her nic on my list,offline,sent a chill up my spine.For some reason,i never wanted that conversation to end,though i knew it wouldnt have gone anywhere further.I wonder why my mind goes blank when i am talking to her.Why cant i just talk like i always do when i am with her?Things just operates at a much different level when it concerns her.Sigh.Mood swing again.You heard that butterfly?Flutter,flutter.Fly away.

PS.Happy Easter Sunday.Good luck finding those Easter Eggs.

Song of the Moment---The Dumbing Down of Love by Frou Frou

Of Fear and Hesitation
This morning i woke up with a burning back.I guess its pretty badly burnt.Mom said it was bright red,almost purple yesterday.God.That sounded bad.After much medicine i guess it's not going to peel as badly as it wouldve been.My hands are fine,at least they dont hurt when i rub fingers over them.So i woke up this morning with a burning sensation in the back.For a moment there,i thought it was Sunday morning.But it was really just Saturday.Haha.You dont know how happy i was to realise that.Anyway,so i got off my bed and started off my weekend routine.Breakfast/Lunch came first.Ate that,and surfed the computer.Clicked on Internet Explorer and saw that i had 2 new mails in my Inbox.Ive been recieving mostly junk mails from Apple.com,Movie Newsletter,ImageStation,you name it.I assumed that they'll be junk mails again,so i was all prepared to delete them all.However,to my surprise they were from Rs.She finally had her own email address,and added me to her Msn list.Well what a pleasent thing to see on a Saturday morning.And so i added her to my list.I hesitated for a while.I didnt know if i should do this or not.If i should press the "Ok" button.Im not sure if i should do this or not.Afterall,its been awhile.I dont want her to end up like some people on my list.A few sentences and we go silent.Then a couple of seconds later one of us tells another,"I gtg.".I dont want our relationship to go on like that.But how else will it go on?I saw her online a couple of times throughout the day.In fact,she is online right now as i type this entry.I have her screen on my toolbar.A empty window.I typed,"Hello!",but i am afraid to press "Enter".Something is holding me back.Because i know once i press that,i wont be able to turn back from the inevitable awkward silence that follows.Im pretty sure that i'll screw up the conversation and both of us end up closing each other's window.The cursor flickers at the end of the "Hello!",and i dont know what to do now.She comes on and off the net,and everytime she goes off my heart will sink.But when she comes back on i will click on her again.But everytime i will stare at her display picture.A dog.Haha.A dog.I went through the possible topics to talk about with her,and it was pretty limited.I didnt know what to say.Her cat?Her tests?Her school?What else?I was confused.When did starting a conversation become such a difficult task?Help me.Help.I dont know if i should start a conversation with her.I am confused.So close and yet so far away...

Song of the Moment---Torn by Natalie Imbruglia

Of the Bad Good Friday
Day one of the long awaited break.There long weekend ahead really got me hyped yesterday in school.However,yesterday was the first day the people who failed maths had to attend the remedial held after school in LT4.Argh.It sucks to be the failure.But then again,it seemed as if half the cohort was there.So the LT seemed more like a mass grave than anything else.Anyway,we were released way before the remedial,so a couple of starved souls decided to go to McDonalds to grab a bite at anything avaliable.Yesterday marked the first time Jasmine went out with us.ZhuangYi was there,Shariffah,JiaYing,WanWei,Rachel,LiuYin,WanJun and Samantha were there too.So we spent the afternoon in the noisy McDonalds,talking and chewing on leftover ice.(At least i was doing that.)We started talking about having a class outing today,Good Friday.We've never had a class outing.Those our class's pretty united in a way,we've never really had a class outing.Perhaps it was because most of us are captains or presidents of some team or clubs.Too busy to spare some time for some social activities.Or perhaps we were just reluctant to go out as a group.Afterall,despite the unity,there are still differences waiting to be conquered.Anyway,so a few suggestions sprang up during the debate.Zoo and Sentosa were the last nominated locations.(Others were eliminated due to plain stupidity.)Rachel and JiaYing wanted to go to the Zoo.They wanted to play with butterflies and touch reptiles.I turned on the sarcasm mode and went,"Wow.And let the Giraffe chew on your hair.Yay."I mean,the first class outing and you want to go to the Zoo?Hello?Making any sense?They were determined to go to the Zoo,while me and ZhuangYi supported the idea of kayaking at the beach.Since ZhuangYi never kayaked before,he was pretty interested in it.And i,havent kayaked for a long time,and would gladly do it again.After much debate,we settled on Sentosa and settled the time.

Today,i woke up at 850am to prepare.I was too tired after the remedial to do any form of preparations.So this morning i began the packing.Threw in some suntan lotions,shampoo and facial wash.Ironed my clothes and prepared to get out of the house.Met up with JiaYing at Serangoon Mrt and we headed down to Harbor Front Mrt together.She was supposed to attend church in the morning,but she overslept.She told me that god wont forgive her for what she did.God.Sigh.Christians.Always so scared that they wont recieved forgiveness.I dont think God is that petty.Millions of people will attend church today for his death,and one less human wont make much of a difference.Anyway,so we met up and headed to Sentosa via the shuttle bus.Point to note,WanJun's boyfriend tagged along with her.Some of us didnt like that idea of a boyfriend tagging along.This comment is not directed at him really.Anyone who brought his or her boyfriend or girlfriend wouldve been a weird thing to do.Afterall,we agreed on calling this outing a "Class Outing".(Though more than half the class werent there.)He did not do it deliberately,but he kinda spoiled the mood for some if not,all of us.We felt uncomfortable and stuff.And that hindered us from talking about the usual stuff we talk about if we were together.Instead of her bf being left out,we were walking around quiet and silent.And it was a weird feeling.Haha.I think her bf looks like Xu Shao Yang,an actor from some chinese drama series called,"Lavender".A little bigger in size though.Anyway,We took the bus there and arrived at Siloso Beach.The sun was high up and scorching.The sand burnt even with our sandles and slippers on.The coconut trees provided no shelter whatsoever for us,other than casting tiny shadows around the foot of the trees.The beach was already packed with people.And more people were pouring onto the beach.I personally prefer empty beaches.You can strip nude and round down the coastline for 2km or so and nobody would even notice you.Basically,you can do anything if you are alone on the beach.So we found a shady spot under a particular large coconut tree,and Rachel took out two picnic mats.Yellow and Pink.Sigh.Anyway,we placed our stuff on it and started playing Volleyball with ZhuangYi's ball.(Please dont think otherwise.)I sat out at first,since there were seven people.WanJun's boyfriend plays some pretty good beach volleyball.In fact,very good.We were more amateur than he is.ZhuangYi was probably the better of the lot.The girls were generally reluctant to move,and complaining about how the sand was burning their feet.I on the other hand,managed to return most of the balls,surprisingly.Considering that i am a sucker at volleyball games.In fact,i suck at any sports that requires the usage of any part of my body.Im good at sports which requires a racket or bat.(Badminton,ping pong,squash.)Anyway,i served the ball and it flew way behind the opponents and away onto the edge of the beach.Ouch.That serve sucked.My arm were already turning bright red by the time i started getting into the game.I guess it was partially due to the heat.Volleyball being the next reason.Which is also a reason why i hate volleyballs.Anyway,we rested for awhile while i headed towards the toilets to get coke.(Yeah,not the greatest place to get a drink but it was were the vending machine was located.)ZhuangYi and Rachel fell asleep on the mat soon after,LiuYin and JiaYing went off to Delifrance to get drinks while the lovebirds disappeared.I,went to the beach and soaked myself in water,and allowed the current to carry me away.It was really cooling,considering how scorching the sand was.Rachel,LiuYin,JiaYing and i went to the other end of the coast to catch fish.Yes,Rachel actually brought a spade and a bucket to build sand castles.We used that to catch little fishes that swam along the coast.I kept insisting that we will never be able to catch them like that,since they have cells built in their skins to react to light changes,so as to help them escape when there is an attack.They never listened and went on hunting for fishes.They picked up a few dead corals here and there,and decided to give them to NKT.(Chuckles.)I soaked myself in water there,and it felt bloody good i must say.We went back,and i urged ZhuangYi to go rent a kayak.However,he was too lazy to move.You come to Siloso beach,all the way from home,to sleep on the beach.Good call.Anyway,JiaYing and Rachel started building sand castles.I kept asking them to to kayak with me,but they refused.JiaYing said it was lame to kayak in Sentosa since the limited area is no bigger than a soccerfield.(In East Coast you can go as far as 2km.)I agreed,but i gave her that "As-if-a-JC-student-building-sandcastles-is-not-a-lame-thing-to-do" kind of look.Oh well,in the end that idea was flopped.Argh.I came for the kayak,and that idea flopped.Great.They got hungry,so we took the monorail around the island.It was a boring ride.It reminded me how much i hated Sentosa when i was young.it was pure boredom to start off with.I wonder how the government managed to sustain such a boring island,how they have the face to promote Sentosa as being the ideal place an island life.Yeah,maybe the beach.Everything else was unnecessary and down right boring.I mena,Volcanoland?Fort Siloso?Museums?Comon'.They are stupid.Admit it.Why build more beaches and golf courses?Anyway,we reached the station and got off.Headed towards the nearest Burger King and bought food.By then i already consumed 2 cans of coke and a bottle of mineral water.And i was still thirsty.Everything was ridiculously inflated on that accursed island.Everything was more expensive there.Son of a bloody ass bitch.And there went my money.All down the bloody drain.Thank god me and ZhuangYi brought enough money.Or else we wouldnt have been able to afford even the mineral water.(Two bloody dollars.Piss.)We left the island after the meal,and we went home after that.As i took 105 home,i was thinking about two things:How my money disappeared miraculously in one day on a single island,and how good this trip wouldve been if those bikini top babes and buffed up hunks just disappeared from the beach.Most of them didnt even have the body to show off in the first place.Runways and flabby tummies.Oh.My.God.As i floated on the sea,i thought about how nice it mightve been if i brought her here.Perhaps it is a good place to date?Haha.Who cares.Will never happen anyway.Float together in the sea and talk about anything under the burning sun.Just let the time pass as we talk on and on on the beach alone,with no idiotic freesbie boys and soccer dudes.No suntanning babes and no hunks in tights.(There was this guy who bravely sunbaked himself in an underwear.Awful sight.)Just the two of us floating on the high seas.Wow.Lovely.

Song of the Moment---Doo Woop(That Thing) by Lauren Hill

Of the Misplaced
Yawn.I hate Wednesdays.I used to like it,if not love it.Now,i hate it.Why.First:Lessons starts at 810am and it stretches to 1110.No breaks.Second:Weilien is released at 1110am,his guitar practise starts at 230pm.Calculate the number of hours Weilien has to wait in school before he can start practising.Go figure.Third:Guitar practise itself.Thankfully,i do have my fellow classmates to fill up the time and act as time-killers.Last Wednesday i actually spend the time studying in the canteen.(Yeah,study.Dont raise your eyebrow.I saw that.)Today,Rachel,WanWei and JiaYing wanted to go out and have lunch together.I was hungry,and i didnt have anything in mind.I couldnt gone home but,with my comfortable bed and soft pillows,its hard to get back out again after that.So i tagged along with them and took a bus to Junction 8.It has officially turned out to be our favorite hangout.Its not as if it is the best place to hangout but,at least we are not associated with the NYJC-ians who hangout at Ang Mo Kio and Serangoon Centrals,and think that those are the most "happening" place in Singapore.Like the joke that goes around the students,"NYJC-ians probably dont know where Orchard Road is when asked of its location.They would probably answer an unknown and distant province of China."Im glad that i dont belong under that "Sua Gu" or "Mountain Mushroom" category.Anyway,we went to this Ramen store at the basement,which name i cannot recall.The girls ordered noodles with names.Those noodles had names written at the bottom of the pictures in the menus.I am not a big fan of noodles,save for my mother's cooking.So i searched for rice,and found it under the "Today's Specials" page.Well,those didnt have names.So when the waitor asked what i wanted,i said,"Erm.This one doesnt have a name,so I'll get this one."I pointed it out to him and he went,"Alright.Set C."I replied,"Set C?Thats the name?"Alright,that was pretty dumb.But then again,what was i supposed to say?The food was cool,the crab meat was a gift from heaven,and the Sashimi was awesome.The bill,however,turned out to be an eye-opener.It totalled up to 47 dollars.Wow.I know Japanese food are expensive,but i didnt realise it was THAT expensive.5% GST.Argh.Screw the taxes!Anyway,so we paid reluctantly and went back to school.Rachel had badminton,JiaYing had Tennis,WanWei had some interview and i had guitar.(Yay.)I hate guitar practises nowadays with a passion.They are boring,especially when we are learning the Syncopated Clocks Song.As much as i love guitar,i had playing notes.Im better at chords and strumming.Not memorising notes and picking.A couple of notes,fine.A whole song full of notes?You are kidding.Never tried that,will never like it.And i didnt.Tomas started his lesson,and we were asked to play the song.Great.I sat there like the statue of Stamford Raffles.The differences were probably the position and colour of both of us.Notes started to dancing on the song sheets,and lines started to merge and swirl.My fingers started to dance all over the frets until Tomas noticed and nagged.Yeah,if you actually taught me how to play,with the "Slow-Mo" button pressed.Anyway,so throughout the whole practise i felt pretty stupid sitting on the front row,staring.Time crawled,time crept,time went on.And by the time it was 530pm,i was rubbing my eyes and wiping tears off my face.He ended the session soon after,and i threw my guitar into the casing and dashed out of the room as soon as possible.(Exaggeration.)The school was pretty empty at 6pm,save for the pugilistic girls practising their swords.I admired them for awhile as i walked towards the fountain.Saw Mr Hanis,and quickly tucked my shirt into my pants.Close call.Anyway,i walked out into the late afternoon.There was no wind,and the ground was pretty wet from the shower a couple of hours before.I pulled out my headphones and pressed the buttons to the 13th track."The Field of the Pelennor".Bloody nice track.As i walked down the slope at the side of the carparks,i start to think about how things around me seem to have changed.Or perhaps i have been the one changing all along.I have been misplacing a lot of things.The passion for guitar,the motivation to study,the girl.Which i will not elaborate,again.I wonder where i placed them.Damn,the habit of misplacing things is getting onto my nerves.Irritating.I hope i find them soon.At least the first two i mentioned.Fine,at least the second.I really dont want to lose out on this battle of the results and grades.I admit,to have lived in Singapore for the past decade or so,has made me a semi-Singaporean.In the sense that,i am kiasu in terms of studies.Luckily,that aspect of kiasu-ism is not shown elsewhere other than my academic life.Life stinks,but what the hell can i do.Bite some nails and hold some breath,and everything would be over.Things to look forward to after the As:Dinner & Dance,Backpacking trip,slacking time.Taiwan,perhaps.In the mean time,more tutorials.I hate complex numbers.It is so complexed.Nicely named,ancient Mathematicians.Piss on you.

Song of the Moment---Let Go by Frou Frou



Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out
Leave your things behind
'Cos it's all going off without you
Excuse me too busy
Writing your your tragedy
These mishaps you bubble-wrap
When you've no idea what you're like
So let go jump in
Oh well what you waiting for
It's alright
'Cos there's beauty in the breakdown
So let go just get in
Oh it's so amazing here
It's alright
'Cos there's beauty in the breakdown
It gains the more it gives
And it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later now
You can't await your own arrival
You've twenty seconds to comply

Frou Frou is a new band.Wait,maybe they are old.Anyway,they are virtually unknown.I love their songs.Those who are into moody songs should try their album.I recommend tracks like,"Shh","Let Go" and "The Dumbing Down of Love".Awesome.Haha.Whatever is Frou Frou?

Of the Sinking of Titanic
No this entry is not about Titanic.Read on.
Haha.It has been raining for the past few days.The best thing is,it rains during my nap times.Wow.What a blessing.Even now,when i am typing this entry,its raining cats and dogs out there.I cant even see the building only a hundred metre outside my window.Everything's a blur now,and it forms a white sheet of blanket outside my room.Rain splattered onto my window as if someone sprayed water upon it.For a moment there,i thought my window was leaking.(No kidding,that actually happened in my old room.)Anyway,school started again.Its Monday,and of course the Monday Blue still lingers with every step i take this morning.The radio is the only thing that keeps me from feeling suicidal every morning on my way to school.I found out some pretty useful information as well.Did you know that this week is the International Sleeping Awareness Week?We should all start to appreciate the art of sleeping,and sleep whenever,wherever we can.Sleep during class,toilet,whatever.Just sleep.Which is what i am going to do next after this entry,before the rain stops.There's this new guy in class today.He's Jasmine's friend.Last week when Jasmine told the girls about this "New Guy",the girls kept their fingers crossed,hoping that he's cute and hunky.Well,i took a peek in the yearbook(Or Year-CDrom.)and i bet a lot of girls would be dismayed.Haha.He's not anywhere close to Prince Charming i must say.JiaYing and WanWei didnt believe me at first,until Jasmine brought him to class today.The hopes of him being cute sank faster than Titanic with every step he took.They turned to be and gave that "Oh my God!" face,and i just laughed.Well,like i did for Jasmine,i'll give a brief summary of this guy.He shaved his head,i guess it was due to the NS thing.He seems like a nice guy,quiet and stuff.When he was asked to present this geograpy assignment with his group members he kept fidgeting in front of everyone.He was obviously really embarrassed.Though he might not be the best looking guy around but hey,i'll try to get to know him.Haha.Like i said,a new student is always a cool thing to happen to a class.Anyway,nothing much to say today.Same old same old.I'll hit the beds and,hopefully when i wake up the rain will still be pouring.Haha.Night.Oh yes,one more thing.I was wrong about the 5 consecutive days of holidays.It's actually Friday+The Weekend,then Tuesday and Wednesday.Better than nothing i guess?No PE at least.Hell yeah.Haha.

Song of the Moment---Slide by The Goo Goo Dolls

Of the Swing
Switching the lights off leaving the night light on top of my cupboard,my room was instantly transformed into a space with a moody feel.Thats what i like to do on Friday nights.Lock my door,and just enjoy my little privacy.Play a little guitar in the semi-dark room,and surf the net for relaxing times.Perhaps a little movie on my computer will help ease the stress level,which had been building up for the past week.And it is only the first week mind you.If this goes on and Fridays are removed from the calendar i might suffer from a mental breakdown in a week or two.Thankfully,there will be a five day consecutive holuday coming up.I am really looking forward to that.And so i was in my room,affected by the mood of it all,i logged into my Friendster account.Nowadays,people seem to have lost interest in Friendster.Not that i am surprised or anything.People posting compliments and nice things about you in testimonials,and finding old friends and such,might be fun for the first couple of months.Sometimes,it might even become a competition between friends,as to who gets more friends,or more testimonials.After a while all the testimonials seem like a fake.They are saying,"Hey,i wrote one for you.Write back." or "There,i wrote one for you.Happy?".The truth is,i am not sure how many people actually put in effort to type a truthful and real testimonial.Friendster has lost its attractiveness in me.However,it seems to be the only link between me and her nowadays.I would log on to my account just to see her pictures,if they changed at all.Check out her testimonials,her friends,the last time she logged in.Her profile was never filled up,and pictures seem to be those few over and over again.Friendster had become a bridge between me and her.The only place where i get a pinch of satisfaction.She ended her common tests yesterday,and her friends went out with her to Orchard.Saw her picture updated,with her friends all squeezed inside the neoprint machine.She was awkwardly squeezed to the corner since her friend was pretty big in size.I recognised her instantly.Though i dont know her name,Rs and I used to sit with her in the Aquarium and talk about school.I call her "Teddy",since she looks like one.To be frank,she's fat.In a cute way that is.And everytime i see her i will call her "Teddy".Anyway,she was in the photo as well,and took up half the space avaliable for the 4 others.I went into her photo gallery,and simply stared at her photo for the longest time i know.Studying her eyes,her hair,her smile,as if i was a adventurer,discovering a new species of monkeys.Filled with amazement and awe.A Surge of Sadness filled me once more.As the song "The Rose" played over my computer,i started to think about things.Just,things.I dont think i remember much that went through my mind then.It was muffled and blurred.I dont remember much.All i knew was,i felt this sour feeling creeping up my nose.My attention was broken by that "Ding Dong" sound when someone messages you on Msn.It was a friend of mine,whose name i will keep disclosed.She told me she was sad and needed someone to talk to.She told me about her problem,though to be honest i was expecting something much worse than what she told me but,a problem is a problem.When a friend of yours comes to you and asks for a listening ear,you better dig those wax out and listen.Especially when the problem is coming from a person of the opposite sex.I helped her search the net for information,to solve her problems.Sadly,i didnt find any.I got pretty desperate,until she told me it was alright.Oh well,so we talked and talked through the night.She told me that i am the only person that is worth talking to,and that i am a good listener.She also said that when i searched the net for her for information on her problem,she knew that i was a friend to be kept for a long long time.I was extremely pleased with that comment.That made my day,thanks.(Or something close to the mark.If you are reading,forgive me for my forgetfulness.I did not save the conversation like i said i would.Haha.)Well,that was pleasent to know.Ive always wanted to be the listener of people,or the emotional support.I guess i'll at least have one on my list now.Which got me thinking,that the one person in this world that i wish to say that to me,is treating me as a normal friend.Perhaps much less than that.All i wish,is for her to call me,or message me,and tell me that she wants to talk.Anything at all,i'll be there to talk to her.I dont mind if my phonebill flies skyhigh.If you feel better,just call me.Like i told my friend earlier.Even if you are telling your woes to a deaf and blind man,the fact that you spoke it out,it will make you feel better.(And that applies for all friends.Give me a call eh?Im pretty free anyway.)Back to the point.All i wish,is that maybe one day she'll be willing to share her problems with me,and mine with her.To give each other advices,even though we might be worlds apart in terms of personality and character.I know,it might be impossible between us.In fact,it IS impossible.I dont expect myself to be THE most important person in your life.That place is already taken by your family i presume.All i am asking,is to be your ear when you need to speak,your shoulder when you need to cry,your dustbin when you need to complain,and your friend when you want to share something funny that happened in school.I dont want to be the "other" friend,the disposable friend,the "Hi-Bye" friend.Often i try to come out from the gloom,and try to help you whenever i could.But you seem to shut yourself out from me.Perhaps only me.Help me to help you,please.I just want to be like Bob Harris from "Lost in Translation".To be there when you are bored,and both of us can run through the streets on Tokyo and do stupid things ust to keep each other company.Oh well,what my friend said earlier really made my heart skip a beat.But frankly,that wouldve sounded nicer if it was uttered from between her lips.My friends are sick of me going on and on about how much i miss her,how sad i am about her.Everytime i dive into a moodswing,half my friends wouldve half guessed that its about her.I must admit,most of the time it IS in fact,about her.They are tired to listen to that same old story,and i am sick of repeating it.Of course,it is not a pleasent story to begin with.Even i am tired of it.The paradox,is that i want to leave this behind,and yet i cant.Reluctance took me.I dont know what to do.Get over it,some says.Maybe one day.Maybe.Right now,i am on a swing.Swinging back and forth,with her standing before me.I reach other to grab her when i swing forth,and when i swing back she seems so far away.Sometimes,i lean out too far and almost fall off the swing.My life seems to be revolving around this swing of mine.Going back and forth,round and round the same topic over and over again.The swing of life,of love,of her.It is making me so dizzy,so dizzy.

Quotes of the Day:
Bob,'Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?'
Charlotte,'Im in.'

Charlotte,'I just don't know what I'm supposed to be.'
Bob,'You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you. '

Photographer,'Are you drinking?No?
Bob,'Am i drinking?Right after i am done.'

Charlotte,'You're probably just having a mid-life crisis. Did you buy a Porsche yet?'

Bob,'For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.'

Bob,'What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?'

Bob,'You want more mysterious? I'll just try and think where the hells the whiskey.'

Charlotte,'Let's never come here again because it will never be as much fun.'

Bob,'I don't want to leave.'
Charlotte,'So don't. Stay here with me. We'll start a jazz band.'

Premium Fantasy Woman,'Mr Kazu sent me, premium fantasy. My stockings. Rip them.'
[Sounds like Lip them.Bob stares at her,confused.]
Premium Fantasy Woman,'Rip my stockings. Yes Please, rip them.'
Bob,'What?'
Premium Fantasy Woman,'My stockings!Rip them!'
Bob,'What?Lick them?Lip them?What?'
Premium Fantasy Woman,'Rip my stockings!'
Bob,'Rip them.You want me to rip your stockings.'
[As Bob reluctantly starts to rip her stockings,she starts rolling around on the floor, waving her legs in the air]
Premium Fantasy Woman,'Oh Mr Harris! Don't touch me! Mr Bob Harris! Just rip my stocking!'

[Bob stops the car in the middle of the road upon seeing Charlotte crossing the road.He jumps out of the car and chased after her.As spunned her around,he hugged her and smiled.He puts his mouth to her ear,and whispered to her.She cried,and he kissed her softly,and left her in the crowd.]
---'Lost in Translation'(2003)

Song of the Moment---Power of Love by Celine Dion