Of Undetectable Changes
Changes.There are two types of changers.Voluntary and involuntary.Under involuntary we can further categorise changes to detectable,and undetectable changes.A change that is sensed by the object that had been changed,and one that is not sensed at all.An undetectable change is a scary one.If you dont know that you are changing,you wont know what you might change into.And naturally,you wont be able to stop it from happening.The worst thing is,when told about your change,you dont exactly know what changed and what didnt.What to change and what not to.What the heck am i talking about?Well,i was talking on the phone with Krishna a while ago,asking him something questions concerning maths.Well,before i hung up,he said,"Eh,you changed a lot.Very weird now.Not in a bad way though.Just,weird kinda weird.You know?".I didnt take heed of his comment at first.However,after much thought,i started to think about what change i have went through since i got into JC.I couldnt get the answer.I have not a clue what i have changed.He said i became more,"Playful".Which is an awfully weird and disgusting way to put it in my opinion.Im not sure if he is the only one thinking this way.How have i changed really?Perhaps it is the environment ive been in since i first stepped into JC.Im not sure of the actual reason.And that scares me.Like i said before,changes might not necessarily be a bad thing.Sometimes,it is for the better.However,i dont even know if the change within me is a good one or a bad one.If it is good,fine.Go ahead.However,if it is bad how am i supposed to stop it?To stop an invisible force,a presence which im not sure of is presence at all.Its like someone asking you to dodge from something thats coming at you,but you dont exactly know what it is.Hmm.Odd.He couldnt come up with an answer as to how ive changed as well.I personally dont like changes,save for acknowledged ones.Fast forward the time frame to ten years later.At a reunion party,i want people to say,"Hey you've changed and yet,you are still the same old you.Its a same old brand new you.".I encourage changes,but not the ones that i dont know of,or involuntary ones.Oh well.Heck it.Maybe next time when i talk to him i will put on the moody side of myself.Which side of me is the true self i wonder.The moody side or the "Playful" side?Which side do i prefer then?Im like Edward Norton's character in Primal Fears now,having a split personality.Argh.Maybe not to the extent of killing sombody,but it is confusing sometimes,as to which personality you should adopt.Perhaps,when facing different people,characters are switched without the person actually knowing it?What am i talking about.The sugar this morning during breakfast must have gotten into my nerves.Anyway,just one of those thoughts that come from nowhere.No need to take much attention to it.Afterall,i use my blog as a dumping ground for my thoughts.They come,i dump,they go.After a while,they'll be forgotten and lost.Perhaps,Krishna's wrong?Ha.