Of Crushes and A Loving Feeling
People have to distinguish between love,liking,crushes and a loving feeling towards someone.Well,i guess most dont.At least i think most people just categorize them under "Love" and not further differentiating them into different aspects.I guess "Love" cannot be explained merely by words.Since its such a big and important its usually left to the different individuals to decide for themselves,the definition of that word.And as for "Liking",its more like a step towards "Love".Or should i say,what comes before "Love".You want to get to know this guy/girl.You start to like her and you want to get to know her a little better.He/she has the potential to become your partner and that creates a liking for that person.It is a natural feeling of course.Crushes are a silly form of liking.You have a crush for someone and you go gaga over that person.I wont say its a liking,since its probably not serious in most ways,and the feeling you have when you see that person is for the most part,based on looks of that person.Most of the time,you dont know that person.However,you study that person from afar.Sometimes,you know that person is not the type that you will like.However,you still go ahead and stare at that person till the sun dont shines.Thats a crush.Loving feeling?When in the canteen you want to sit with that person.When you are in the classroom you want to sit next to that person.When you want to forward a funny message that person comes to mind.Thats a loving feeling.When around that person you have a little tickling feeling inside,and you feel happier when you are around that person.Sometimes,you dont even act yourself when close to him/her.Though you know that he/she is definitely not your time,its just the pure sense of fun you get when you are around that person that attracts you to him/her.I guess thats a loving feeling.Not necessary that a could be a relationship going on afterwards.It might,but i guess it has the most diluted components of a crush.Well,why go through all the trouble to explain the words through my thoughts?I dont know.Been looking around the school lately.Sometimes through the yearbook as well.(Or CD-Rom to be exact.)Looking at those people i have two or three people that i cant get my eyes off.I guess,it is only normal to feel this way.Im sure the biggest nerd in school has a liking for someone?Anyway,i dont even remember their names whatsoever.But i see them pretty often in school.In the hall,lecture theatres,corridors,canteen,you name it.When one of them comes around the corner i will go,"Hey its you." within my mind.Of course,i dont tell them that since I dont even know a single one of them.Hmm.Sad to say this but most of them are based on looks.And that kinda sucks.But what the hell can i do.I dont know them.Like Corinna refered to some of the guys in school as her,"Eye Candy".I guess thats a way to put it?You feel good when you see them i guess.And you try to put up your best behaviour by not acting like you are acting to be putting up your best behaviour.Tough to understand?Well,the more you try,the more fake you look.Simple as that.Who the heck am i trying to impress here anyway?Oh well.I have a friend who had a crush on this girl,a friend of his friend.Confessed and got rejected.Ouch.That stinks.To a certain level i guess he has got a lot of guts.So much guys that he flushed his brains out.Please think before you move.Anyway,am i going to do just as that?No.Of course not.My life in NYJC will end in a couple of months and after that,it is bye bye to JC life.I will wipe the dust off my funky butt and wave my hands to the school building,leaving no love for it.I know,kinda harsh to say that,but it is the truth.Its not like having a crush or two is going to make any difference.Want to know who they are?Dream on.The last time i dedicated "Desperado" to a guy in school everyone went around guessing and caused me some unnecessary trouble.Oh well,i will give you some hints then.One of the just cut her hair,used to wear a blue hairband.Brown sometimes.The other wears spectacles once in awhile,and her class is a single digit class.The other has a unique name that sounds like some Japanese comic book.The other was mentioned in my blog not long ago.Well,good luck guessing.Im glad that i drew the line between the four different kinds of feelings for the opposite sex.Of course,no one stands in the first category other than her,yet.Instead of falling head over heels for someone when its no more than a crush,im happy that i know what i am doing and what i am feeling.The feeling on control over myself is not just satisfying but overwhelming.With that,i will be able to know when to cross the line and when not to cross it.Not any time soon i guess.Again,stop guessing.There are about 700 odd students in NYJC and please,if you are able to guess any one of them i will bet 10k that Scooby Doo 2 wins Best Picture at next year's Oscars.I mean it.Like i said,my friend got rejected.I guess the only clear reason is that he didnt know how to distinguish between the categories mentioned above.If he had a clear mind about what he was feeling that he might not have landed in such an awkward situation such as this.To me,she's more like a crush to you.And crushes are normally not to be approached or touched.One simple reason:they dont know you.Chances of rejection?Full.Perhaps,having stated the different categories will limit myself more.And thats bad.I dont know.I guess i should see it as a form of control,instead of restriction.You dont want yourself to end up like HIM,do you?I have to admit,by having to categorize your feelings seems a little stupid and ridiculous at times.However,if you dont want to be hurt,do want to feel pain,thats about the only way there is to prevent it.Its like painkillers injected into your gum before your teeth is plucked out.Restriction is a form of protection.Am i afraid?Yes.Coward?No.Taking precautions.