Of 21 Grams
Every human being loses 21 grams at the exact moment of death.Despite your age,your height,your weight,everybody loses 21 grams.21grams,the weight of a chocolate bar,a stack of five nickels,a hummingbird.21 grams,could that be the weight of a human soul?Could that be the ultimate proof of the existence of spirits and human souls,which in turn proves the existence of a superior being?21 grams,the amount of weight we carry in life,amount of stress we burden ourselves with,the weight of life itself.If life has a weight,then it is only fair to say that everything about life has a weight too.The components of life:Friendship,courage,fear,love,etc.How much do each of them weigh?They all add up to 21 grams,but are they really that light statistically?No one will know the answer to that question.It depends on the person who is asked to weigh life.To someone who just lost a friend,friendship weighs a tonne in that person's life.To someone who just lost a loved one,love itself seems to weigh down on him so much that he couldnt eat,couldnt sleep,even move.To some,life is good.It weighs nothing at all.Nothing is important.So what does this "weight" represent?To me,it represents the importance of something in our lifes.The heavier it is,the more importance it has.When my friend left for Australia,i realised the amount of weight that friendship had on me.It felt heavy and unbearable.When i lost her in my life,the amount of weight placed on me was so great that i wanted to die.The weight of life,the numbers of importance.Interesting how a mere number can spun out so much thoughts within me.Ive never tried to weigh the importance of people,to measure the importance of the existence of someone.I guess i just never took heed of them,or appreciate people's presence or existence.Perhaps ive taken people for granted in a way.True enough,friends come along like they are granted,but the existence of fate cannot be denied sometimes.No matter how much you deny its existence,its always there to control you.What is fate?Fate is only what you make it out to be.People use "Fate" to represent what you did in your life,and what it is to come.It is an excuse when you fail in life.We tend to blame things on "Fate".When we succeed,we seldom relate it to "Fate" at all,claiming the sucess as your own.The truth is,"Fate" does not exist,a so called good "Fate" is how you control the things that you yourself do,and control it well.Fate makes up life,and life makes up 21 grams.These things are all inter-related and are undeniable no matter how you see it.Since life has a definite weight,that means the importance of something cannot increase without the other decreasing.Which means that if we increases the importance of something,we must forego something else.Opportunity cost,economics.Lets not go there,shall we?Which is absolutely true.When a person falls madly in love with someone,his/her friend diminishes in importance to a certain degree whether you like it or not.When there is a fear of failing an exam,the weight of entertainment decreases as well.When that fear goes,when that weight decreases,the weight of all else increases inversely.How beautifully synchronized?The wonders of mother nature,of god.A person's life can be simply summed up within that mere 21 grams.How interesting.Perhaps,one day humans would be able to calculate the actual weight of every aspect of life.Perhaps that day would never come.Some people weighs more than others in my life.I must admit,not every person are taken heed of.Not everyone will gain my respect or attention when they walk past me.Well,i guess they weigh much lesser than others.Perhaps,i chose not to look at the scale?Its interesting how someone can weigh more than you see when he/she walks pass you on the streets.A total stranger might weigh more than you know in reality.Ultimately,it all comes down to how you rationalize your life,that 21 grams.How you divide that 21 grams.Greed is a powerful thing.You want more of everything?Impossible.God wont let you.You get 21 grams in life,thats it.You want more money,you want more love,you want more friends,sacrifise everything else.You only get 21 grams.Want more?Die.So how much do you weigh in my life?Or you?Or even you?I dont know myself.21 grams,such a small number statistically.Like i said before,a chocolate bar,a stack of five nickels,the weight of a hummingbird.But in life,everything's so heavy.I guess that number only applies in reality,on someone who lives on the moon.21 grams there might weigh a tonne on some other planets due to the difference in gravity pull.Oh well,those different aspects of life all comes down to that 21 grams.Think about it.So small a number,so great a burden.The lightest thing in numbers is the heaviest in life.Ironic,isn't it.

Quotes of the Day:
The Caller,'If you have to ask, you're not ready to know yet.'

The Caller,'Isn't it funny - you hear a phone ringing and it could be anybody. A ringing phone has to be answered... doesn't it?'

Stu,'I have never done anything for anybody who couldn't do something for me. I string along an eager kid with promises I'll pay him money. I only keep him around because he looks up to me. Adam, if you're watching, don't be a publicist. You're too good for it. I lie in person and on the phone. I lie to my friends. I lie to newspapers and magazines who, who sell my lies to more and more people. I am just a part of a big cycle of lies, I should be fuckin' president. I wear all this Italian shit because underneath I still feel like the Bronx. I think I need these clothes and this watch. My Two thousand dollar watch is a fake and so am I. I've neglected the things I should have valued most. I valued this shit. I take off my wedding ring to call Pam. Kelly, that's Pam. Don't blame her. I never told her I was married. And if I did she, she would have told me to go home. Kelly, looking at you now, I'm ashamed of myself. Allright? I mean, work so hard on this image, on Stu Shepherd, the asshole who refers to himself in the third person that I only proved I should be alone. I have just been dressing up as something I'm not for so long, I'm so afraid no one will like what's underneath. But here I am, just flesh and blood and weakness, and uh and I love you so fucking much. And, um, I take off this ring because it only reminds me of how I've failed you, and I don't, don't want to give you up. I want to make things better, but it may not be my choice anymore. You deserve better. '

[The Caller cocks his gun]
The Caller,'Now doesn't that just torque your jaws? I love that. You know like in the movies just as the good guy is about to kill the bad guy, he cocks his gun. Now why didn't he have it cocked? Because that sound is scary. It's cool, isn't it? '

The Caller,'Wait till it goes national. ABC, CBS, CNN, UPC, you're gona have the whole alphabet.'

Stu,'Where? Where are you?'
The Caller,'Closer than you think.'

Stu,'That's it. This call is ended.'
The Caller,'Not until I say it is.'
Stu,'What happens if I hang up?'
The Caller,'You don't really want to find out.'
---'Phone Booth'(2002)

Song of the Moment---Bu Zhi De by Dreamz Fm