Of the Broken and the Shattered
Yawn...Sunday...the last weekend before Chinese New Year..cant wait to get my hands on those red packets...my hands are burning for some cash collecting activities...Anyway,as i get myself ready for the big week ahead(5 consecutive days of slacking...thats if you count the half day as one...),Krishna managed to convince me to study today in town..yes thats not the best and most interesting to do on a sunday afternoon right before a new year but hey,i dont think i wouldve done anything more productive at home...Anyway,so we met up at City Hall Mrt and went for lunch at one of the food junctions at Raffles City...(Chicken rice is probably the only thing worthy or remembrance in Singapore when i am overseas..in terms of food of course..)Took the Mrt to Raffles Place and found the Macdonald's Krishna mentioned at Clarke Quay...Considering that it is a Sunday Clarke Quay has awfully little people walking around...in fact it was virtually empty...The Mac is very different from the others...Instead of having some stupid looking Mr Ronald Macdonald standing at the front door you have a well renovated building with traces of antiques and history here and there...both inside and outside the Mac...With the sign hanging from metal frame and wooden doors...wooden chairs with metal backings and even a balcony where people can relax and even study...We went up to the second floor and it was empty as well...we took the sit closest to the balcony(Samuel didnt want to leave the air conditioned room)and sat at the cushioned semi-circle seats...it was particularly comfortable that i felt like slping on the chairs instead of studying...and so we studied from 2 straight to 6...i know thats not a very long time but hey...considering that its not even exam period yet its a great accomplishment..especially for someone like me commonly known as the slacker amongst friends..;)Left the place with a stomach full of icecream and strolled towards the Mrt station...as we turned the corner i saw the seat which i sat at almost a year ago...the seat which i will remember for the rest of my life...the place when she called and said she wasnt going for the concert...i know its stupid to still linger on with that thought in my mind but its just hard for me to forget..the first cut is always the deepest eh?Anyway,as we walked pass that stone seat i stared at it for awhile..and pictured myself sitting there with the guitar on my laps and the sun setting before my eyes,and the phone call from her...hooked back some memory and feelings back from then...we stopped for a while wondering what to do next...while they did the thinking i was scaring the green eyed cat staring at me by stamping the ground as hard as i can...(It didnt look very happy...)We left that place soon after and i wondered if i will visit that place again...Krishna brought up the topic about Valentine's day...well...he asked if i have any plans for that day...and as you've expected i havent got any plans...told him that im already used to be alone on special occasions like..New year...Christmas..Valentine's day...im already used to being alone around those times of the year...and that finding someone to go out with is a bloody waste of time...he kept on insisting that Vday is THE day when you can ask a girl out and not feel ashamed of it..(Why would someone feel ashamed to ask a girl out on another other day anyway?)Krishna spent last year's Vday with his Ex..(Didnt turn out fine between them...)and Samuel spent it with this girl that he used to like...(It didnt turn out fine between them as well...She went to poly after the first 3 months and Krishna insisted that he scared her away..)and as for me?i was at home sitting alone in my room feeling the stupidity of myself growing within...(If youve been a faithful reader of this blog you'll know what im talking about..)Anyway,so what am i going to do this year?Krishna suggested a triple date...i smacked his head and thought that was a stupid idea..."I dont even have someone to ask...Or even a target...who the heck am i supposed to ask?"Its pretty weird to just ask anyone that i know if she'll like to spend Vday with me..."I have better stuff to do"she'll probably say.Anyway,as i pondered over that question i asked myself if i should buy another present for her...(You know..)Part of me urged me to get out of that damn Mac now and buy something for her...The other part of me had me stuck to the seat,told me that it'll be stupid and foolish to do something like that again...i agree with the latter...Havent you learnt your lesson yet Weilien?i thought...Why break yr heart again this year?Why dont you just sit at home..read a book..relax and surf some net..instead of sitting at home worrying that she might return you the present again like she did exactly a year ago?A waste of time and energy and i refuse to do it...Makes sense...My heart was broken a year ago...and the wound still remains...Havent bothered to heal it anyway...Or maybe i couldnt...they are broken into fine pieces that they could probably pass through the eye of a needle...Question:Why shatter the already broken?its already so fine that you are having a heart time putting them back..now you want to shatter them even more?Idiot...I dont want to take risks anymore...at least not now...I wonder who will take my place this year to be the one giving her the presents..i wonder if the quality of the presents for her this year from others will surpass my standard..(Which is very high already...Self-proclaimed)I wonder who will get their hearts broken this year...OOO so exciting...Or maybe she will say yes to one of them?Hahaha..questions after questions...Unanswerable...Questions without answers...Questions without reasons...Why worry?Give the chance to others..and im sure she will remember what you did for her a year ago...if she has the right mind and senses..Hopefully she will realise that what i did...was the best of what i couldve done...and that what ive done...is what i wouldve done to THE person in my life...Anyway,the 3 of us decided to organise a bachelor party on that day at Samuel's house..where we hug each other and cry from dusk till dawn...Interesting...i will attend it of course..for those lonely souls out there you are welcomed to enter this party as well...Criteria:Single Dress Code:Anything Casual Reason for Attending:Youve just done something extremely stupid and you lost the person in your life..and you hope to find comfort from other fellow suckers of love...Easy?I'll say so...;)

Quote of the Day:
Raquel,'You know Revenge is second oldest reason to kill someone.'
Emily,'Oh really, and what would be the first?'
Raquel,'[raises a glass] Money, honey!'
---'A Perfect Murder'(1998)

Song of the Moment---When I Look to the Sky by Train