Of the Lost and Found
"Good morning!!its the Perfect 10 98.7 f..." *BANG* i slammed on the off button on my radio clock..'Im up...im up...' i mumbled as i crawled out of bed again at 1030 this morning..rubbed my eyes and stared out through the window as cloud floated by the sky...havent woke up at 1030 in ages i thought..and i went out of my room to search for food..mom was not at home..probably at dad's office or something...so i called Samuel and met him at the comic shop awhile later at Serangoon Central..was supposed to go to his house but in the end i spent half the time reading Naruto at the comic shop..actually its a pretty interesting comic..i might just continue reading it from today onwards..Met up with Guan Ming and we went to Heartland Mall for Yoshinoya..since everyone was starving our stomachs out..Was drinking my soup when JiaYing suddenly banged the window beside the table i was sitting..which almost got me choking on my soup..She was there to meet some friend..and was late..(As usual..)well that was a pleasent surprise..Took a long walk to Sam's place and finally i reached his house..the way to his house was like a damn maze...left turns and right turns...up and down slopes..through fields and stuff..that really got me confused 5 minutes into the walk...anyway...he's house is a really cool place..lots of mini buddhas here and there..which had a striking resemblance with Samuel himself..he's room is neat..considering the fact that Barn's room is like a damn warehouse..He has the whole second floor to himself..with a personal tv outside his room as well as a computer..so i spent the afternoon there surfing computer while i lied on the ground and watched central..(Yes..cartoons..)i left awhile later..since i had to rush to Siti's house to hand her her Christmas present...Samuel took me through the estate and cut through a shortcut to the Bowen Secondary area..that place looked awfully familiar..until i saw the church around the corner when i realised that this was the route i ran my 4.8 every friday during the first 3 months..made some really good friends along that route while running..supporting each other...making sure that one doesnt faint on the way...so he left me at the bus stop and i took a bus to her place...as i took bus 156 the dream i had yesterday came back to haunt me..as if trying to remind me of the feeling of being lost amongst a totally foreign place..no being able to find her..got off the bus and looked around the area..it was strangely quiet there..with only a couple of cars zooming pass on the road..and once in a while sound of kids playing on the playground in the distance..i plugged my earphones into my ears and played John Mayer's CD as i walked into the blocks looking for block 501 where both of them stayed..506A...506B...504...502...as the numbers of the blocks counted down my heart started to rush faster and faster..and each step i took became heavier and heavier..until a point when i had to drag them through the parking lots..Siti had to go out with her family for dinner at Ang Mo Kio...so she wouldnt be able to meet me...so i searched the area..finally block 501 loomed up before my eyes..and i climbed the stairs to Siti's home and placed her present on this chair in front of her house...then i went up to the 14th floor...i was nervous...very nervous...i guess i was afraid that i might be spotted by her father or even herself..what if the door's opened?i thought..as the lift brought me up to the top floor...i half expected her to be standing in the lobby waiting for me..butn o..it was empty..with the warm afternoon sun filling up the lobby...492...492...i mumbled as i looked for her place..i turned the corner and went down the corridor...491...490...wait...did i miss her house?so i turned back..and at the end of the corridor was her house..the door was closed tight..and it was blue..outside there was a cupboard full of shoes..there was no window beside the door whatsoever...and the gate to her house was locked as well..Siti asked me to hand the present to her personally...and i wanted to..but i hestitated at the end of the corridor..holding the envelope in my hand..i doubted if i should press the doorbell or not..i wonder what her dad will think if he answers the door..maybe its already become a tradition that some guy will come to his house and knock on his door looking for his daughter every christmas..o well..maybe there was something else..the fear of seeing her again..after all seeing her will only rekindle the desire within me..without knowing what i was doing..i already had my finger on the doorbell..but i pulled back..and placed the envelope on the cupboard...then i left her house...before i took the lift i took one last look at her place..it was all quiet..no sound at all..deep in my heart i expected her..or perhaps someone to open the door..and hopefully notice the whie envelope placed on the cupboard..but no sound of locks or doors came from her place...so i turned to the lift...got in a pressed 1...i lost her in my dreams...i lost her on block 501 yesterday...in my dreams and reality a few months ago when i screwed up during the confession...but today i found her again...but my guts and couraged failed me as i stepped closer to her..and i lost her all over again..its like finding a treasure chest on the side of the road..and decided to leave it coz u were scared what might pop out from inside the box..later realising that its actually a chest full of gold...how stupid was i...i lost her all over again...

Song of the Moment---Hands by Jewel