Of First Impressions
For some...first impression of oneself is is normally right...with the first glance you know if this person is ill-hearted...easy going...Approachable...sometimes even the person in your life...well im not those kinda people with this kind of special ability...though i do have first impressions of people...they are often wrong and far from reality and the truth..when i first laid my eyes on Ravish i thought he was an asshole...a big pain in the ass if you ask me...however...i was wrong...he's still an asshole..but a really fun and nice guy to be around with..which makes you forget about the 'asshole-lic' part of him...when i first saw Mr Yeo i thought he would be a tough teacher to deal with..always coming after me and trekking me down...i was wrong again...in fact he turned out to be the nicest teacher ive ever met...when i first saw Jane i thought she was a backstabber...one of those classic evil woman from hong kong drama serials..i was wrong as well...she's more than she looks...more mysterious and full of depth...Sophisticated yet simple...i thought Yee was a nice teacher...i was wrong once more...instead he's a teacher with shit for brains...or perhaps nothing at all...my point is...my first impressions of people are always wrong...or at least most of the time...that makes me wonder and question...what about me first impression of Rs?is she what i think she is?or is she just someone i created with my imagination?when i first saw her she caught my attention like a single star in the dawning sky...and that impression never changed...she had always remained as the goddess im my mind...the one and only...now i wonder..perhaps im wrong all along?maybe i am wrong again this time...maybe she is not what i see...maybe she's something more...or less...someone very different...much worse?my first impression playing a trick on me again...i am questioning myself again...its like a sculptor...trying to carve out the perfect statue..he did all that he could to carve out the best statue there is...but he failed to do so...the statue was flawed..and he was dismayed..however he tried to convince himself that the statue that stands before his eyes is perfect and lied to himself that it is flawless..willingly blinding himself from the mistakes he made...he created a false impression for himself...and foolishly he believed it and lived his life believing that he is the best sculptor there is...maybe Rs is not as perfect as i thought...i just lied and bluffed myself...i chose to forget or to close one eye about what i saw...because i thought the Rs who lived within my imagination is much better and much more perfect than what i see in reality...once again i am begging god to make it wake up...stop lying to yrself...there are questions in this world...that cannot be answered simply by words...Rs...an everlasting question in my life..however...the answer to my life as well..ironic it might sound...confusing at the same time...sigh...

Song of the Moment---Flight of the Bumble Bee by Maksim