Of the Birthday and The Reply
today is Rs's birthday...i planned everything from the beginning till the end...for this day to come...it came...and i had to discard the idea...indeed...i never saw whats coming...tried to write an essay for her...turned out to be a total failure..for some reason i couldnt think of anything to write then...the gift?i couldnt think of anything to give..after all anything i give might be seen as something 'too precious' for me and wil be returned..i dont see the point of giving anymore..so i forgot about it...yesterday..or rather this morning at 12am i msged her to wish her happy birthday...the least i can do i guess..to my surprise she replied...i hesitated at first..wondering what kinda msg i will recieve..it turned out to be exactly as ive expected..some cold-hearted msg..'thanx..good luck to yr results too..nightz' was i asking for to much?im not sure...maybe...maybe i wouldve been better off without a reply...afterall why reply when you are replying for the sake of replying...that got me thinking again...i have a lot of friends...close ones and their msgs always make me laugh or smile...makes me feel my identity in this world...when she replies...i feel even further away from her...why so?somebody tell me...that message felt so empty...cold and hard like a rock...emotionless and painful...short yet bitter...may that be the last msg i send u...you guys want to see a really depressed person?where he is...ive given you all that ive got...all the feelings i have for you...were given to you and there is nothing left in me...i dont know how to feel anymore...maybe long ago ive already lost it...its merely a message i tell myself...its stupid and foolish to get all upset over a message...however..small things like this tend to tell a lot of things...and that only shows that she is out of my reach...to far for me to grasp...everything she does...every word she says...only force me to retreat more into the corner...only tells me more about me and you...only proves that you dont like me not even as a friend...how many people remembered your birthday today i ask?how many of those guys in yr sch knows yr birthday?how many of them remembered?i dont think you even care if i remembered...that i am one of the few people in this world who bothered remembering...you dont give a shit...you dont....

then why should i care?

Message for those who didnt do well for the exams:
To all Depressed Souls:This is not the end of book but a beginning of a new chapter...this is not the end of the road but a new start to a new path...winter came and passed...spring is near and shadow is only a passing thing...Soon the sun will shine out the clearer...and you will realise there is nothing to fear...

Song of the Moment---Something About You by Five For Fighting