Of the Clouds and the Sun
We had a awfully long day today...though we were released at 1.40...it felt like forever..2 consecutive PW periods in the morning followed by 4 periods of chinese back to back to back to back...yes you heard me right..4 periods..im pretty amazed how i actually sat through the week and still alive..PW was fine..other than the fact that i typed my presentation for the 3rd time in a row..Due to some technical error with the diskettes i was half dead by the time i reached the 3rd time..anyway..after that we got to LT1 for the dreadful chinese revision lecture..As usual..it was boring as hell..Valerie went to LT3..Hanwei went home..(Ain't surprised)leaving me and Rachel in LT1 together..we sat close to the back of the LT and was bored to the core..so we started playing Bingo..2 to 5...damn she won..that really sucked..then she drew my palm and the back of my hand...(She got pretty bored.)And very well done as well..i was pleasently surprised..i tried taking off her shoe..since she tried taking off mine yesterday..and she took her revenge on me and started taking off my shoes...wow she was crazy..attracting the attention of everyonein the LT..on my defence i used pens and highlighters to draw her hand to keep her itchy hands off my shoes..of course she did not kidnap my shoes..and she stopped after awhile..then she took my pencil box and poured everything out..Picking out the useless pens and placed the useful pens back in..And i did the same..gosh we were bored..basically we never listened to the lecturer at all..Twitch came in for the 3rd lecture and i started imitating him..he's a really odd teacher i have to say..but the most interesting lecture by far...the mere sight of his face cracks me up..went out to talk to ravish on my hp...since mr yeo didnt allow anyone to talk on the phone in class..so i went to the back corridor of the T rooms on the second floor to talk to him..Staring at the walkway i saw her walking out with her classmates..out of the sch...Ponning i guess...clever..she was late this morning..very rare since her dad fetches her to sch almost everyday..(i assume...)i was walking home after the loong loong dreadful day..and was walking down the slope towards the front gate...when i looked up into the sky and saw the clouds..the sky was covered with extremely enormous and beautiful cumulonimbus clouds..towering over the country reaching up high into the sky..Huge vast shadows were cast onto the streets and grassfields on my right..the wind blew softly on my cheek..as i strolled home on the lovely noon..Sun peep through occasionally through the gaps between the clouds..making the clouds look like some vanilla icecream..on top the clouds were as white as white..below at the shadowed side of the cloud it was dark and flat...almost as if it was shaved by a big shaver..havent saw such beautiful clouds in a couple of days...maybe weeks...or even month...maybe i was too depressed..or too sad...i never bothered to look up...always looking down on the ground where everything's always the same..hard tiled floor...concrete ground..grassy land...ever the same...no change all year round..except maybe some ocassional rain..which makes the ground soggy and slippery..today i looked up..i finally have the courage to look up...and to my surprise there's more to the sky than ive thought..i think im seeing things more clearly...i am regaining my confidence of things..gathering the guts and wits to look up into the sky...wondering whats upon the clouds and over the floating mountains and peaks..everytime i feel depressed..i will look up into the morning sky..and check out the ever changing clouds..Like chocolates in a box...you never know what you gonna get...i shall not be depressed anymore..at least not as often...the bluest sky is infinitely high and crystal clear..there are endless opportunities in life..and they are infinitely high..they are always there for you to grab hold of..whereas the ground ends at your feet..never more or further it goes..when in doubt..just look up..=)some food for thought..

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Kat Stratford,' I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.'
---'10 Things I Hate About You'(1999)

Of Her
I shall admire you from afar...Look at you in the dark...With my name unknown i leave a place in my mind for you..Im not sure if i should call you someone new or a replacement..Which is indeed an awful word to say it..great courage i had the last time i felt this way..being too foolish was why i tripped..this time i see well in the dark..i see far ahead..and close under my feet..i know my perils and i know where the safety is..i will not and shall not surrender to my will and fall into that love web again..You have been mentioned before..but that was a long time ago..now my feeling grows..but i shall keep it down low..everytime i feel the urge to do something foolish again i will look at myself through the mirror..somehow everything just goes back to normal after that...is that the so called lack of confidence?or just being realistic..i think the latter made much more sense..i look at you through the corner of my eyes..every morning i catch a glimpse and i am satisfied..i am gladdened by the picture you posted of yourself online..thats the only time when i can look at you as long as i want without others around..i guess i shall go back to the 'me' back in my sec sch days...being witless and a coward..afraid to express my feelings towards others and keeping it buried deep within my mind..maybe thats the only way i can prevent myself from getting hurt once more..i get a grim satisfaction whenever you sit close to me...the sound of your laughter when you talk to your friends..the smile you give when you see others..a smile a frown i clearly carve them in my mind..however this time i will keep my big mouth shut...so you wont stay away from me like someone did..others wont laugh at me for my stupidity..i wont hate myself for being myself..a happy ending?only you...or maybe her will make me complete..without either of you will only make the puzzled unsolved..im satisfied..im glad..i shld think like jessica..satisfied with merely a crush on someone...and nothing more...

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Julian,'But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song.'
Sonny,'It's overtime right now and there's a penalty shot about to take place. This happens about once every ten years so... '
Julian,'Kangaroo song, kangaroo song, KANGAROO SONG!'
Sonny,'ALLLRRIIIGGGHTT!'
---'Big Daddy'(1999)

Of the Mighty
Today Mr Yeo had his last lecture with the cohort this morning..due to the widespread of the news there wasnt a very big reaction to the announcement he made..though it came as a shock to some..He gave us this card which had the Eminem lyrics written on it,from the song 'Lose Yourself'. Pretty neat card..i guess my class already numb about the fact that he is leaving...and already accepted that fact..painful indeed but what else can we do..go on strike?during break today i took valerie's guitar and started playing it..(She didnt know about the guitar session being cancelled due to miscommunication and had to carry it around..)so i took it out and played it in the canteen..it wasnt too bad la..had Rachel Wan Jun Liu Yin and Corinna singing while eating..(Now thats amazing how they can sing and eat at the same time..)And afterwards we went to the AVA for the screening of a movie...its 'The Mighty' starring Sharon Stone, Gillian Anderson(The X-files) and James Gondolfini(The Sopranos)All of them put up a great performance as well as the young actors..Not sure about their names but i will refer to them as Max and the crippled kid...Dillion or something...Its basically about this 7th grade kid called Max..being an so called Freak all his life..being left out from people the only people that cares about him are his grandparents..who took care of him after his mom died and his dad went into jail...Living in the shadow of his criminal father Max was teased in school due to that..and he lives everyday in fear of his father..Afraid that one day he will come back for him..Until one day Dillion,a kid with serious Spine problems moved into the house next to his with Sharon Stone as his mother..Dillion was a handicapped kid...and he lives with books and words..Due to his problems he too was seen as a 'Freakshow' to most eyes...Max and Dillion soon became friends when Dillion became Max's reading tutor..Dillion taught Max to face his fears...and stand up for himself..like a knight in medivial times..Like facing the bullies in school..which was one of Max's greatest fears..Soon Dillion became Max's brain and Max became Dillion's legs..and they soon became great friends...or partners...like how dillion put it...Max's father got out of jail and he kidnapped Max and brought him to a friend's house...played by Gillian Anderson...And the story then tells how Dillion saved Max..A very great movie which you have to watch it for yourself...truely interesting...In the end Dillion died..due to his disease...that was the sad part of the story...he gave Max this book...with empty pages..and told Max the quote posted below...Its amazing how someone like Dillion can 'stand up straight' even when the pain of reality forces him to 'bend down low'..despite his inability do certain things normal kids can do...he conquers those fears and with the help of Max the Godzilla he managed to accomplish what he desired...very great movie Mr Yeo...thanks for that..

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Kevin Dillion,' Every word is part of a picture. Every sentence is a picture. All you do, is let your imagination connect them together. If you have an imagination that is.'

Gwen,' You see, my son, Kevin, has been called names and made fun of his whole life. When you've been made fun of as much, you find another place to live, and he's found that place up here, in his mind. Kevin lives in a world of books, and words, and things I don't even understand. I do know this: Kevin would trade it all for a chance to be normal, to have a friend, and to do what other kids do. Max Casey has given that chance. Well, I'm not going to let that get taken away from my boy. '
---'The Mighty'(1998)

Of the Song
In my opinion..the most beautiful love song is right here..and i really like this song a lot since the first day i heard it..when i watched 'The Wedding Singer' on Star Movies or HBO..i really forgot which one..its a pretty nice show by the way...pretty touching at parts and funny...you cant stop laughing when Adam Sandler's on screen..amazing how he can do both comedies and romance at the same time..also right songs..wow...he's multi-talented indeed..this song is my all time favourite song..here's the scene..Julia(Drew Barrymore) is flying off to Las Vegas with this bastard after a big quarrel with Robby(Adamn Sandler).She was originally going to marry that bastard..(cant really remember his name but we'll just refer to him as the bastard..)however her love for robby grew as time went by..and robby too..likes her a lot...so when he heard about the news that she was flying to Las Vegas and making the biggest mistake of her life...he borrowed a credit card from his friend and he flew first class on the plane to Las Vegas to catch Julia...and bring her back..what he didnt know is that he was on the same flight as Julia...however she was in the Business class..and he didnt see her...so when he discovered that she's on the flight..he took out the song that he wrote for her on the way to the airport..So he sang the song over the PA system on the plane and she was really touched by the song and then in the end..they got married..very typical happy ending..but a very nice scene filmed indeed..check out the movie as well as the song below..:)

Lyrics of the Day:
Billy idol (speaking): good afternoon everyone. we're flying at 26,000 feet,Moving up to thirty thousand feet, and then we've got clear skies all the way to las vegas, and right now we're bringin you some in-flight entertainment. One of our first-class passengers would like to sing you a song inspired by one of our coach passenger, and since we let our first-class passengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is.

Robbie hart (singing):
I wanna make you smile
Whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Robby Hart:i have a confession to make...that song was about you...i am in love with you..
Julia:i am so in love with you...

Of First Impressions
For some...first impression of oneself is is normally right...with the first glance you know if this person is ill-hearted...easy going...Approachable...sometimes even the person in your life...well im not those kinda people with this kind of special ability...though i do have first impressions of people...they are often wrong and far from reality and the truth..when i first laid my eyes on Ravish i thought he was an asshole...a big pain in the ass if you ask me...however...i was wrong...he's still an asshole..but a really fun and nice guy to be around with..which makes you forget about the 'asshole-lic' part of him...when i first saw Mr Yeo i thought he would be a tough teacher to deal with..always coming after me and trekking me down...i was wrong again...in fact he turned out to be the nicest teacher ive ever met...when i first saw Jane i thought she was a backstabber...one of those classic evil woman from hong kong drama serials..i was wrong as well...she's more than she looks...more mysterious and full of depth...Sophisticated yet simple...i thought Yee was a nice teacher...i was wrong once more...instead he's a teacher with shit for brains...or perhaps nothing at all...my point is...my first impressions of people are always wrong...or at least most of the time...that makes me wonder and question...what about me first impression of Rs?is she what i think she is?or is she just someone i created with my imagination?when i first saw her she caught my attention like a single star in the dawning sky...and that impression never changed...she had always remained as the goddess im my mind...the one and only...now i wonder..perhaps im wrong all along?maybe i am wrong again this time...maybe she is not what i see...maybe she's something more...or less...someone very different...much worse?my first impression playing a trick on me again...i am questioning myself again...its like a sculptor...trying to carve out the perfect statue..he did all that he could to carve out the best statue there is...but he failed to do so...the statue was flawed..and he was dismayed..however he tried to convince himself that the statue that stands before his eyes is perfect and lied to himself that it is flawless..willingly blinding himself from the mistakes he made...he created a false impression for himself...and foolishly he believed it and lived his life believing that he is the best sculptor there is...maybe Rs is not as perfect as i thought...i just lied and bluffed myself...i chose to forget or to close one eye about what i saw...because i thought the Rs who lived within my imagination is much better and much more perfect than what i see in reality...once again i am begging god to make it wake up...stop lying to yrself...there are questions in this world...that cannot be answered simply by words...Rs...an everlasting question in my life..however...the answer to my life as well..ironic it might sound...confusing at the same time...sigh...

Song of the Moment---Flight of the Bumble Bee by Maksim

Of the Birthday and The Reply
today is Rs's birthday...i planned everything from the beginning till the end...for this day to come...it came...and i had to discard the idea...indeed...i never saw whats coming...tried to write an essay for her...turned out to be a total failure..for some reason i couldnt think of anything to write then...the gift?i couldnt think of anything to give..after all anything i give might be seen as something 'too precious' for me and wil be returned..i dont see the point of giving anymore..so i forgot about it...yesterday..or rather this morning at 12am i msged her to wish her happy birthday...the least i can do i guess..to my surprise she replied...i hesitated at first..wondering what kinda msg i will recieve..it turned out to be exactly as ive expected..some cold-hearted msg..'thanx..good luck to yr results too..nightz' was i asking for to much?im not sure...maybe...maybe i wouldve been better off without a reply...afterall why reply when you are replying for the sake of replying...that got me thinking again...i have a lot of friends...close ones and their msgs always make me laugh or smile...makes me feel my identity in this world...when she replies...i feel even further away from her...why so?somebody tell me...that message felt so empty...cold and hard like a rock...emotionless and painful...short yet bitter...may that be the last msg i send u...you guys want to see a really depressed person?where he is...ive given you all that ive got...all the feelings i have for you...were given to you and there is nothing left in me...i dont know how to feel anymore...maybe long ago ive already lost it...its merely a message i tell myself...its stupid and foolish to get all upset over a message...however..small things like this tend to tell a lot of things...and that only shows that she is out of my reach...to far for me to grasp...everything she does...every word she says...only force me to retreat more into the corner...only tells me more about me and you...only proves that you dont like me not even as a friend...how many people remembered your birthday today i ask?how many of those guys in yr sch knows yr birthday?how many of them remembered?i dont think you even care if i remembered...that i am one of the few people in this world who bothered remembering...you dont give a shit...you dont....

then why should i care?

Message for those who didnt do well for the exams:
To all Depressed Souls:This is not the end of book but a beginning of a new chapter...this is not the end of the road but a new start to a new path...winter came and passed...spring is near and shadow is only a passing thing...Soon the sun will shine out the clearer...and you will realise there is nothing to fear...

Song of the Moment---Something About You by Five For Fighting

Lyrics of the Day:
Come to my Window by Melissa Etheridge

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

I would dial the numbers
Just to listen to your breath
I would stand inside my hell
And hold the hand of death
You don't know how far I'd go
To ease this precious ache
You don't know how much I'd give
Or how much I can take

Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Just to reach you

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

Keeping my eyes open
I cannot afford to sleep
Giving away promises
I know that I can't keep
Nothing fills the blackness
That has seeped into my chest
I need you in my blood
I am forsaking all the rest
Just to reach you
Just to reach you
Oh to reach you

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

I don't care what they think
I don't care what they say
What do they know about this
love anyway

Come to my window
Crawl inside, wait by the light
of the moon
Come to my window
I'll be home soon

Today...Phew!what can i say..lots of ups and downs..lots of goods and bads...which one do you want to hear first?option A)listen to all the sorrowful stuff and enjoy later...option B)Listen to happy stuff and disregard the sad stuff..What?Option A?alright..here we go..
The Bads
Econs paper what can i say...was the worst thing that happened today..not just to me but to everyone..might not have affected me as bad as the others...but i feel their pain i guess...Was giving out the papers and i got back mine..5 freakin' marks for the whole damn essay and 21/25 for DRQ...what has the world become?the extreme imbalance of grades...was pretty pissed when i got yet another big fat O...but then again..seeing what my friends got i was pretty lucky...lots of Fs i see around me...lots of sad faces and depressed people all around..a lot of complains though...(Loudest was probably Angeline who did a really loud HAIYUR!!!!)We were dismissed and got out of the LT...and bang...everyone started crying...mainly the girls...(Whose names i will remain disclosed)i couldnt say anything to them really..i mean...this kinda things really need to be sorted out by themselves and not words from others..so dazed i was...sitting behind her..while her other 2 friends sat there silent as well...i couldve done something...something more appropriate..but what?then on the table on my far left a group of girls were crying as well...from my class too...yikes..A couple of stupid numbers causing these girls to shed their tears..i know it is not worth it...but in singapore this kind of shitty society the marks do count...so i went home after that to get ready for my outing later with 1s24...was filled with excitement of course..but filled with grieve and pity for those who failed as well..(Though im not very far away frm them..)I know how it feels like to fail...been there and back again for numerous times..i guess im sick of it...numb i am...about failing...Econs...a big killer this time..even some of my 1s24 friends were affected badly by it...a big fat F as well...sigh what can i do...just hope that they get through this on themselves...and if they need it we (friends) will help you guys through...dont be defeated by a few numbers...though the sky is dark and the road is vanishing there is always hope for a new beginning..for coward is one who turns back in times of danger..;)
The Goods
The goods!!!i love this part...basically everything after school was great...(when was school ever great anyway)so i got home and had lunch...and mom drove me to Serangoon MRT to catch NEL to Douby Ghaut..Harrison msged me to ask where everyone were...Shortly after Siang Hong arrived as well..we sat there for almost half an hour to find out that everyone will be late for the outing...so the irritated trio went to Long John's Silver to eat some light food..bought some drinks and fries and started munching on it...(To kill time as well)Done with eating...and went to Monster Cue to hit some balls...Didnt play well as usual..and Harrison being the pro at pool totally trashed me and Siang Hong...Serene and Ming Hui came afterwards as well..then followed by Nigel...Then Sandra MeiShan and Kelly came...we played pool till like 6 and went to meet Jane and Nat for dinner..Fish & Co was the place that we dined..I ordered this Sweet and sour fish...tasted more like Canteen food..probably classified under the 5 star canteen food...was edible but gosh...this is a 5 star resturant..and THIS kinda food?pls...Swensens MUCH better...and so damn expensive somemore..im so damn broke...Took a lot of photos today with the class in the resturant as well as outside of it...then everybody went home leaving Meishan Kelly Siang Hong and me...so we window shopped at PS...basically we looked for Kelly's prom accessories and stuff...ear rings shoes gown you name it...we checked everything out...hahaa..the day ended so fast..almost with a blink of an eye...really looooooooooooove the class soo much i dont mind going out tmr again...too bad Melissa Evon Wan Ping and Jeff couldnt make it...NVM!!next time i will organise chalet and i will personally make sure everyone will attend it...grrr!!!hahahaa...Love you guys...keep the 1s24 spirit alive...thats what i call THE best class ever...;)

Why cant we just sit back and relax for ONCE..before we recieve our resultS?as usual we are anxious and scared of what we will get tomorrow..esp the geog paper...chiefly due to the rumors flying around about the number of failures and O-ers(As i like to call them)in the whole cohort..not to mention the Unexpected Top 10 List Mr Yeo mentioned..its nerve-wrecking really..do sit comfortably at home while thinking about the results..Since my crappy phrase of life aka the JC life started i have been worrying about every single paper..am i going to fail?am i going to be last in class?am i going to promote?like i said to all my friends..in secondary school its all about getting As and topping the charts...but in JC its all about passing exams and making it to J2 even with the lousiest possible grades..Yes ladies and gentlemen thats JC life for you..smack in the face...face the picture people...its a tough road ahead and not one without peril...a very boring one as well..tomorrow we will be getting back our econs paper..A-ing it?dont think so..passing it?highly doubt so..failing it?Hell yea...After hearing news from the Jiemeis and Ravish im pretty scared about the results to be honest with you...geog...was the only paper that i have confidence in..(save for chinesE)and gosh...im dont even dare to think about how im gonna feel when i get the paper back..Econs..HA..never did well in it..in fact i never passed it...though its a common disease but damn how cool would it be if i passed it when everyone else failed..*WakEs Up* Coming back to reality..whats done is done..what the hell can i do...Break into the school and change my answers and grades,then escape the school facility without the guards noticing like Ethan Hunt?You gotta be joking hello?therefore,all i can do is:WAIT...the word i hate most in my life..aside from words like exams...studying...school...nyjc blah blah blah...Today was supposed to be a holiday...however we had this guitar practice session in the morning...not that i mind really..but when more than half of the club did not turn up for practise that kinda pissed me off..esp when it was a rainy monday morning and i couldve been in bed slping..so the session was cancelled but however...everyone who went sorta stayed back for a little while for some jamming sessions of our own...stayed at home most of the time doing the same old same olds..Cant wait for tmr's outing with 1s24...though its pretty sad that Lydia and Serene cannot make it but...everyone else can..so im a very happy man...or will i be?after getting my results i think half the mood will be gone...not to mention melissa and jane...and maybe evon as well who will be getting the papers tmr...probably swallow the dinner and a mouthful of tears at the same time...having serious doubts about the amount of enjoyment i will be able to get from tomorrow's outing..sigh...alright...sighing sighing and more sighing coming out of me now...guess i better shut up...shhhhh...

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Blade,'There's an old saying: Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.'
---'Blade 2'(2002)

Song of the Moment---Come to my Window by Melissa Etheridge

LYRICS OF THE DAY:
Here Without You by 3 Doors Down

A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl it’s only you and me

the LEAP carnival...some found it pretty interesting...some thought of it as extremely fun...i myself...doubts the level of excitement of the whole carnival...i thought it was boring as well..in fact i think the maris stella youth day carnival was more fun than this...at least u get to play more games than the LEAP carnival..and you get to watch movies and REAL rules of games that actually works...yesterday i was supposed to be in charge of the game organised by guitar club...Special thanks to Hanwei for making that happen by the way...it turned out fine..despite some major change or rules we managed survive that 2 hours...Thank God~!and of course..since u are the organisor you dont really get to do anything interesting or exciting...unlike everyone else having the time of their lives..for some reason i do agree with Samantha that we should get all the results back before doing a carnival like that..after all how can the students enjoy when they are on the verge or retaining?NY teachers are stupid and probably got their brains removed...Zero at organising skills...pretty much messed up about everything..GrRrR..esp tat miss koh..i was supposed to go to AVA for my game at 7 to set up...guess what...the gate was locked...great...went to look for her and she disappeared after saying,'i'll see what i can do..' all she can do is to run away from problems like that..great move...however..the game turned out fine..hopefully the people enjoyed themselves..(i think)then it comes to today..gotta earn some participation points...gotta join SOMETHING to earn that...so me and my friend joined the movie guru game..the organising comittee was so messed up it took them more than half an hour to set up...the rules?all jumbled up...confusing the contestants and stuff..i actually expected the game to have something to do with movie knowledge...like the director or the actors and stuff like that...nooooo...you have to watch a clip and see the colour of this person's shirt...which hand that person was holding the crystal ball...hello?this is more like an eye sight test?i was filled with the desire to get number one that i was shivering all over during the game...stupid game...cause i lost to a girl sitting behind who cant keep her mouth shut for once in her damn life..4 teams left and Viper was leading with 17 while the other grps tied at 16...one more qn to go and whoever ans it correctly wins...i specifically asked Fhong Sheng..one of the organisers about the countdown...if we put up our hands before or after zero...he said after..so i did...and i was slower...why?because that damn bitch behind me put up her hand before zero...i know i am sounding childish here but then again..follow the god damn rules!!and they got the answered correct...which was what i had in mind as well...great i couldve gotten the damn question right and earned myself 5 points to become number one..i couldve been the person recieving the trophies..damn the rules and damn everyone...why am i making such a big fuss out of a game?i dont know..i guess being a movie freak winning this was pretty important for me...the game turned out different from what i thought...and dumber than what i thought..nvm nvm...i was practically doing an one man show...putting up my hand and answering question...any contribution?no...try to help me by putting up yr hand fasteR?no....i dont mind..seriously...but when i answer the question wrong you go on and say that im dumb..im stupid and stuff...am i that worthless?hello?i have been answering almost all the questions and i get one wrong and you say that i am stupid...yes i dont admit that i am wrong sometimes..that doesnt make me an idiot?i hate to be call stupid..its so intimidating..nvm nvm...its over and done with...i really dont mind you not helping out...after all i am the one who dragged you into this game..but please dont intimidate me just because i got one or two questions wrong...all i was trying to do was to earn points for my house AND myself..i wasnt sure of the answer..i gave it a shot...im not sure why..im in a VERY bad mood today...stay away from me or i will shoot...i guess thats why i am angry at almost everything around me now...Special thanks to Ravish who gave me a ride home in the taxi...sigh....

Doomsday i thought...also known as 15th October 2003...which is today..i almost pissed my pants before the maths results were released...before that there were talks after talks after talks after talks...and yes it is boring..when was post-exam activities ever interesting and fun in the first placE?*RoLLeYeS*Anyway,today was alright for me..in the sense that i got an O for my maths..not fantastic..but what i expected..however,not what i hoped for..considering that my friends from mshs and from other schools(mostly from sci)got 50+, i was pretty pissed with my results...however,hearing some of the results from my fellow classmates as well as other Art-ians, i guess i was doing averagely or even...pretty good..esp most of the people from our class who got 20+ 30+...some under 20 as well..i especially feel for this person...of whom i will not mention..he studies hard like i mentioned before..though he's not one of those people who passes up tutorials, however, everyone saw the amount of effort he put into his studies especially before the promos..in fact wayyy before the promos..getting a big fat F was a big impact on him..as well as me...there is the growing possibility of not being able to promote...in fact...not having mother tongue as PLAN B was the disadvantage for him...oh what can i say...i couldnt think of anything to even console him..(As if he will listen)he called his dad immediately after he got the paper in the LT and WONG LAI YONG stared at him as he talked..he didnt care..i wanted to slap her..well not everyone has such a fine brain structure when it comes to maths and most people fail in this field..so shut the hell up and let him talk...after all you dont know how important this exam is to him...what can i say at that moment...just stared...everyone did badly i must say..hopefully the teachers will grow some sense and some brains and will moderate the marks up a little bit so everyone will do a little better..the day was badly affected by it...not just because my result was not fantastic..its just the fact that some of my friends might not be able to make it to J2 and that sucks for me...considering that i am the kinda person who puts friends pretty high up in the 'List of Importance'.Guitar was fairly enjoyable..before the session started i was fooling arnd with my guitar..played Qing Tian and Mr Wong came over to learn from me..was pretty flattered actually...so i taught him how to play the intro and he started showing off to the girls who came in afterwards..cant believe how big a show-off he can be sometimes..pretty ridiculous..cant wait for the performance as well as the holiday comin' up next Monday..though there will be a practise session for the guitarists but i kinda enjoy those sessions...other than the existence of Tomas..(That SOB shld die~whats Tomas without the H anyway?)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Charles Howard,' The horse is too small, the jockey too big, the trainer too old, and I'm too dumb to know the difference.'

Marcela Howard,' Well he is fast.'
Tom Smith,[looking down at the ground]'Yeah... in all directions. '

Charles Howard,' You could be crippled for the rest of your life.'
Red Pollard,' I was crippled for the rest of my life. I got better. He made me better. Hell, you made me better!'
---'SeaBiscuit'(2003)

Hey Ho..=p Its been awhile i know..i am sorry for fans of my blog..*cHucKlEs*anyway...what a great weekend~!i totally followed my plan of the weekend...sleep sleep eat...so on and so forth...maybe not as exciting as some of you..went out shopping and all..but hey i like what i did...sat on my new sofa in my room...had a cup of orange juice and had a good book..when bored..pick up my guitar and play some songs...put in my favourite CDs and let the environment blend with the musical notes...take my pencil and my sketching book and start sketching whatever in sight..my paints and my brushes to paint my models..watch a little tv and some quality net surfin'...or simply stare into the sky while the clouds pass me by and the tiny droplets of rain raining down from the dark gloomy sky...to summarise...thats LIFE...MY LIFE...and thats what i love to do..and did for the pass few days..and lovin' it...Went over to Plaza Singapura to buy some models and paints at Games WorkShop...since like i mentioned,everybody was having exam..i was forced to go to town with my mom and sis...not that its a bad thing..however...what happened really made me uncomfortable..as we were walking out it was raining...and my mom saw this girl standing in front of the glass doors with a charity box hung on her chest...as a person who's always happy about donating she too out her purse to donate..until she realise that she had to buy the tickets which costs 10 bucks each..ridiculous i must admit..but then again...if you dont want to donate fine..just tell the person and walk away...NO SHE DIDNT...she didnt even say anything and walked off..and the girl kept bugging us to donate...not that i wanted to donate..but then again..it was raining..its cold..shes tired...and all she wants to do is to go home and have a warm cup of coffee...the last thing she hopes to encounter is someone who initially wanted to donate..then walk off without putting a penny into the charity box..without saying a word..i sold flags before..i know how it feels...sigh...i really didnt know what to think...now im starting to doubt if my mom is right at almost everything you do..im grew up thinking that my mom is perfect at everything...able to do anything...therefore anything is right...however...now i know she's not what i think she is..well i guess it cant be helped...alright..im gonna go read my books now..i see u guys~peace out

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
David Drumlin,' I know you must think this is all very unfair. Maybe that's an understatement. What you don't know is I agree. I wish the world was a place where fair was the bottom line, where the kind of idealism you showed at the hearing was rewarded, not taken advantage of. Unfortunately, we don't live in that world.'
Ellie Arroway,' Funny, I've always believed that the world is what we make of it. '
---'Contact'(1997)

Song of the Moment---Moonlight Serenade from the Pirates of the Caribbean Soundtrack

LYRICS OF THE DAY:
I Will Come To You by Hanson

Chorus
When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk to walk beside you
I will come to you
Oh I will come to you
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you
Oh I will come to you

Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days
And you don't know how or why, but you've lost your way
Have no fear when your tears are fallin'
I will hear your spirit callin'
And I swear I'll be there come what may

(Repeat Chorus)

'Cause even if we can't be together
We'll be friends now and forever
And I swear that I'll be there come what may
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you
Oh I will come to you
We all need somebody we can turn to
Someone who'll always understand
So if you feel that your soul is dyin'
And you need the strength to keep tryin'
I'll reach out and take your hand

(Repeat Chorus)

Exam Report 5 (Final Day):
Economics MCQ & DRQ
It was tough..and i panicked when i skipped a couple of questions for MCQ..im not going to hide this but i did copy some of the answers..the DRQ was alright too..though i think i wrote out of point..but what the heck..all that repeated through my mind was the get this over and done with..also the endless pain in my stomach that threatened to suck my soul in...after the test i came back home..which made me wonder how lifeless i can get sometimes..the last day of an exam and i come back home?Well all my friends are still having exams..what can i say..drag them out of their house and force them to go party with me?Go out with my ny friends?i dont know..that never really occured to me before..its not that they are not nice people whatsoever..i just dont see myself going out with any of them and having fun like i do with my Sr and Ms friends..sigh~i guess this is the life i chose and the life i should try to accept..Finally the exam is over~!i guess that's worth celebrating a little..after much toil and muggin' finally i get some time to relax and wait for another phrase of my life to arrive..to wait for an absolution..i dont even want to think about whether i will promote or not..i just want to think about what i want to eat tonight..what i want to do later..what i wanna buy tmr..where i want to go the day after...and make this 4 days holiday last for eternity..(of course..impossible)alright..i shall dive into dreamland once again...wave goodbye to the pain of reality..and hopefully wake up to a brand new self..what am i talking about...

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Irwin,'Take a look at a castle, any castle. Now, break down the key elements that make it a caste. Location. Protection. Garrison. Flag. The only difference between this castle and all the rest is they were built to keep people out, this castle was built to keep people in.'
'The Last Castle'(2001)

Song of the Moment---O Verona from Romeo+Juliet Soundtrack

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Exam Report 4:
Human Geography
Great...yesterday at 7+ i realised that my notes were in an awful mess..not that its all over the place..its just that i couldnt find my notes..at least part of them..and i panicked..and kind melvir offered to lend me the notes that night..therefore i had to go over to his place and study..i studied till 11+ at night and gosh his neighbourhood is freaky..gangs gathering down at the void decks and drunken man wandering around all over the place..not the place you would wanna be at 11pm i must admit..i expected today's paper to be one of those ultra difficult papers when i will cry my heart out after it...but no..it turned out to be much easier than i thought..though i must admit that i wrote a lot of crap and will never never ever do well in it..but what the hell..what do i expect from a last minute studying?managed to do all the questions without much problem..(of course..when you are crapping everything seems easy..)and thank god for that...great rock lifted off my chest and mind..tomorrow is the econs paper 1 and 2..a little nervos but then again...not as scary as the previous few papers..so i guess im blessed with a great timetable..lets see..i am going to sleep and sleep today...eat and more sleep..i will only study at night..i am too lazy to study..after all it is the last day...sent a 'good luck' msg to her yesterday night while in the toilet..(you got a problem with that?)she did not reply whatsoever..why am i not surprised again..sigh..at least a friendly,'you too~!' or something..but no..nothing..im probably erased from her phonebook and mind at the same time..only for the good i guess..for me and her..since she has got 4 Alevels paper to take care of i dont think she has much time for some 'nobody' like me..all i can do is to pray that she gets through the exam and hopefully go on to j2..i wish her luck...though she wont be able to see this..2 more weeks to your birthday..i wonder what i should get for you..or will you even say thanks when you see the gift..or will you give it back to me like you once did...time will tell..1 more day to my great escape..i cant wait for the holidays to come..lets see what i wanna buy for the holidays..

To Buy:
The Lord of the Rings:The Two Towers Special Extended Edition Dvd Gift Set
The Lord of the Rings:The Return of the King Soundtrack
The GamesWorkshop Models
(^^:) cant think of anything else..will be updated..promised

Song of the Moment---With You In Your Dreams by Hanson

Exam Report 3:
Economics Paper 3
As usual...good things never lasts...for the past few days all the papers were relatively easy..other than maths which was a bomb i managed to do everything else..but like i said..ive been expecting this day to come actually..the day when i will fail one of the papers and therE~!this is it...Does this mean that i wont be a good businessman next time since i failed my econs?*pANICKS*anyway..i wrote a lot of crap really..i knew all my facts..i must admit it..but then again..i dont understand the questions..Great..Its like an genius from America with all the knowledge in the world joining the Indian version of Who wants to be a millionaire..even with that knowledge not knowing the questions asked is totally useless..and there i was writing whatever i know about that topic..and actually ran out of time..(yes i wrote that much crap)Cant believe i actually did that for the Promos...(MinD you!!)i guess i couldve done a little bit better if i hadnt watched Romeo+Juliet yesterday night all the way till 1am..but it was good of course..in fact VERY good..Not a big fan of both Leonardo and Claire..but then again..Leonardo has this really pretty face that will melt all who lay their sight upon his face..and claire has a warm and beautiful smile..(the way she cries was a little weird though)i like the way how Baz Lurhman filmed it..probably his best movie..IMO...When in love, the man is like the Fire and the girl is like the Gunpowder..when they meet each other they will egnite(sp?) and start to burn until they both burn each other out and eventually disappear...Love will never last...and it sucks..reality bites..but thats what life is~just found out that i will be getting a holiday on Monday and Tuesday as well..wow..4 days of endless partying..gotta get out and have some fresh air..tata for now..2 more days..;)

QUOTES OF THE DAY:
Juliet,'O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, who monthly changes in her circled orb, lest that thy love prove likewise variable.'
Romeo, 'What shall I swear by?'
Juliet,' Do not swear at all. Or, if thou wilt, swear by the gracious self which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee.'

Romeo,'But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.'

Juliet,' O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I shall no longer be a Capulet. '
Romeo,'Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this? '
Juliet, 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy, thou art thyself though not a Montague. What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. Oh, what's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet; so Romeo would, were he not Romeo called, retain that dear perfection to which he owes without that title. Romeo, doff thy name! And for thy name, which is no part of thee, take all myself.'

Romeo,'Did my heart love 'till now? For swear at sight, I never saw true beauty 'till this night.'

Exam Report 2:
Chinese AO, Physical Geography
Cheers~i love today..in fact it was way better than yesterday..with that stupid mind blowing maths i almost killed myself at home...anyway...today i had my chinese as well as my physical geography..it was good..in fact very good..to me both papers were pretty easy..despite a number of complains from my friends..Especially Ravish..after Geog he was complaining how much he studied and in the end,fail to do some of the question...he studies...he really does..but for some reason he's not getting the luck that he needs..i guess i am the lucky one today...having read through all the topics tested before the paper was a big big help...thanks for Rachel LiuYin and WanJun for their last minute help..i guess Ravish had a slight disadvantage over that matter..since he came a little late...sometimes,i really dont get it..there are people who study their head off and get poor or average grades at the most..but for some lucky swines out there...they play their head off every single day and ace everything..which is totally unfair..i think god just gave different people different abilities and different amount of braincells..A little unfair but hey..when was life ever fair?i thought the geog paper was pretty easy and sped through the first and second section of the test only to find out that i have too much time on my hands..i hate situations like this...when i feel that the paper is too easy..i tend to do without thinking..and in the end fail the paper..it happens sometimes at the most unexpected moments in your life..i hope i can pass it..at least par with what i got during the mid years..to cover up for my horrendous grade for maths..A couple of days ago i recieved a news...a bad one..A good friend of mine(her name i will keep disclosed),her grandma passed away last week and her aunt is in a coma for some reason and is now lying in the hospital waiting for an absolution...of all the times this two incidents must happen within the same week..right before the promotional exam..this must have a great effect on her..i must admit..i am worried about her..she just lost someone really close to her and on the verge of losing another..i lost my grandma a couple of years ago..however..due to the distance between us i never felt sad or depressed...i guess that feeling of emotionlessness was inevitable...therefore i dont know how it feels like to lose someone extremely close to you...well i guess i will have to wait to find out..i didnt know how to comfort her at first..even after all i said she thought it was useless..and said that its easier said than done..true enough..im not in her shoes...it is impossible for me to feel the way she is feeling..so i found a song by Hanson a couple of years back called With You In Your Dreams written for their grandmother who passed away..i gave her the lyrics..i guess that was the most i can do...though still feeling helpless...grr...alright..i shall slack from now all the way till after dinner...and i will start mugging for my Econs..3 more days and i am a free man..i cant wait to fly away from here..;)Peace Out

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
[Royal motions to Pagoda]
Royal,'He saved my life, you know. Thirty years ago. I was knifed at a bazaar in Calcutta, and he carried me to the hospital on his back.'
Ari,'Who stabbed you?'
[Royal motions to Pagoda again]
Royal,'He did. There was a price on my head, and he was a hired assassin. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv.'
'The Royal Tenenbaums'(2001)

Song of the Moment---An Hao by Jay Chou

Exam Report 1:
General Paper, Mathematics(C)
I am so screwed no one in this world can unscrew me..the maths paper was so hard i wouldve puked on the spot...the first question was fine..i opened the paper and was happily did the first question within the first few mintues the test started...just as i thought i will be able to finish the paper within 2 hrs or so,the went on to the second question and i got stunned..it was so hard i didnt even know how to start...(advice for those in secondary school right now...if you think Amaths is hard..think again..for Amaths paper..you will be able to do all the qns..however..get a few crossed here and there..in JC..you dont know how to do means you dont know how to do..)i was sitting there trying desperately to pump water out of a empty hose...but dust and smoke came out...i was screaming inside and grabbing my hair almost tearing them out..everybody seemed so calm doing their work minding their own business..i started to panick and was sweating despite the air condition...those damn birds outside..i wanted to shoot them all down one by one..tomorrow i have chinese and Geography paper one..i hope i do well..at least a pass...a promotion grade at leasT~!General Paper was fine..i wrote about Arts and stuff..im not sure if i wrote out of point or not..since i tend to go on and on abt irrelevant stuff most of the time..i am checking answered with Liu Yin now..either we are both incredibly clever or incredibly stupid..both of our answers are the same..what a miracle..alright got to go study now...4 more days...just for and freedom is here..i will work hard from now on...CYA!!

PS:Hey amenda~you have msn?

Song of the Moment---Gimmie The Mic by Limp Bizkit

POEM OF THE DAY:
When God Created Heaven
by T.L.Wiley

When God created heaven
and he placed those stars above
I knew right then the star I'd choose
would fill my life with love.

The greatest gift bestowed to me
is the best recieved by far
Cuz that's the day I met you Babe,
and realized that you're my star.

Now I've never been a prayin' man
for religion I seldom sought
But I'll give God thanks and say "Amen"
for the gift of love I got.

I can't forecast what life will hold
but there is one thing I know
That if we keep it watered well
our plant of love will grow.

You will always be the brightest star
in the heavens of my heart
and I won't despair when dark clouds near
for my star shines through the dark.

im taking one of those studying breaks right now..i am so tired..notes after notes, tutorials after tutorials..coming on top of me like a unfriendly wave..Grr i hate this..Promos in a couple of days time..however i dont feel the intensity of it...not that i am slacking or anything..its just that everytime i study there will always seem to be something that i left out...or left undone..and i hate that feeling..after all who likes it?the train is coming and fast, and i am like the man on the end of the railway trying desperately to lay the tracks so that the train wont derail...i havent got time to think about anything else other than studying...skipped school just to study at home and stuff...am i doing the right thing?that made me question my action...thinking bout the days after my promos makes me fear the future...the chinese Alevels coming up...project work...Sat after that..they are like ropes strangling me...i cant breathe right..i am gasping for air...i was sitting alone in my room awhile ago,staring at my notes...mind?blank...nothing went in...in fact the words started to swirl and twist...i threw the highlighter down and starting playing my guitar...i do that when i am really troubled or stressed..i guess i prefer taking the peaceful way out...i am going back on the 10th of December...mom already bought the tickets and i cant wait to go back and meet my friends and family...i dont know why...i always feel this distance between me and my friends in taiwan...though we are childhood friends..everytime we meet we seem to start all over again...its inevitable to feel that way of course...but come to think about it..are you guys just acting to be nice with me just because yr parents asked you to do so?Stupid relatives always asking the same questions when i meet them..how old are you?how tall are you?wow u look more handsome each year blah blah blah...am i THAT close to you?i barely know you...even your name...i can barely remember who you are related to...and there u are asking me questions just to make broken bonds meet again...:rolleyes:hello?wake up yur bloody idea...anyway...i am tired..of everything around me right now...for some reason i dont see hope in my future...thats kinda bad huh?having no hopes or something to look forward to..my friend asked me to consider a singing career..haha..i might...you never know..maybe one day you will see me on american idol making a fool out of myself and get jumped on my Simon...alright..i have to go back to study again..go back to the dungeon again...work and toil again...this sucks...5 days to freedom...5 days to decide my fate....to live or to die?stay tuned after 5 days...dont change your channel...same time same place...i will see you tomorrow..;)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Stella,'I trust everyone. It's the devil inside the person I don't trust.'
---'The Italian Job'(2003)

Song of the Moment---White Flag by Dido
'There wont be no white flag above my door...i wont put my hands up and surrender...there wont be no white flag above my door...im in love..and always will be...'