Continued from August 10th's post...
im still drifting...still wandering around...in the morning the sun burns my skin and i seem to melt into the ocean...at night i star up into the cloudless sky dotted with tiny points of beautiful distant stars...sometimes when the month is right i could almost make out your face...you seem to be like the star:Auriga...guiding this lost ship through the midst of the ocean...yesterday night i sent you a message...you replied...i dont get it...i wasnt at all excited when i read your msg...why?maybe time has took its toll on me....im starting to forget how i feel for you...how my heart used to beat so hard against my chest whenever you reply my msgs...after 2 months without any form of communication was that all you can say?i can barely remember your smile...yr voice...your face...your eyes....they seem to be slowly fading away along with the current of time...'dont go...' i cry out loud...not heard...nor answered...im starting to turn my gaze elsewhere...i turned my attention to someone from my school....someone who's almost the same as you....someone who gives me the same feeling like when im around you....but someone things are different...what?i asked a few months ago when i first saw her...i was so confused at that time...both of you are so alike yet different..i couldnt figure out...maybe i found the answer to the riddle...fear...i confessed to you once before...i was rejected once before...i know the feeling of having the person of your life brush pass you and walk quietly into the night...i know how painful it felt when you indirectly said no...i feared...i built myself a wall...a wall around my heart and mind...i dont feel the same about you anymore...i dont see you like i used to any longer...when i saw her...i had a sudden urge to go up and say hi...just to fill the hole in my mind when you are not around...maybe just temporary...maybe permanently...maybe forever...but i feared...i held back...i was afraid that the same thing will happen again....i might be cut...be hurt again...so i retreated into the corner again...i wandered off into the unknown once again....i still feel the jealousy burning in my mind when she talks to some other guys...i still feel the stupidity of me when im so close to her yet so far away...i cannot overcome my fear of rejection...after all who likes rejections?i saw her through a window after my cca today...she walked home with a guy....i pretended that i didnt care...i forced myself to turn away..but when they disappeared around the corner i ran towards her...hoping that i could catch a glimpse of her from afar...i did...she was there...and you were there as well...as if walking shoulder by shoulder the image of your back appeared beside hers...she caught sight of me as i passed by her...i gave a weak smile....she did too...but not you...you shldve smiled back...but you didnt...am i crazy?am i finally going nuts?am i insane now?what is happening to me?some form of sickness after you stabbed me so hard?so i walked home...under the grey and gloomy sky i made my way home...i turned back...she walked away....you vanished...softly...quietly...i continued my journey...to drift...to wander...waiting...waiting for an absolution...an answer...help...

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Romeo,'Is love a tender thing? It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn.'
Mercutio,'If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking and you beat love down.'
----'Romeo + Juliet'(1996)

Song of the Moment----Somewhere, Somehow by Wet Wet Wet